I met what I called "the blue eyes of faith" ... Oh god! My god! He was my Lord! He was like... gods, like this energy that WAS me, that was the most sacred part of me, it knocked my socks off, it was so exciting! ... I am trembling at the thought of it. Merely thinking of him brings a flush to my body and an increase in my heart rate; a brightness inside me and a sense of glorious awe.

I felt like I met a piece of my soul, a piece I suddenly missed, suddenly realized the place for. I felt like I'd come home to God and wasn't empty, was suddenly filled with light and soul... bright light beginning as a speck in the middle of me and growing, larger and brighter, until I couldn't hold it anymore, and trembling violently had to "let go" and it spilled out of me like sunlight... I wanted to cry and cry, but I wasn't sad; I was relieved. I could feel something!

He was so beautiful, so Holy, so incredible... I love him so much the only words for my feeling is that I worship him. That's not as one-sided as it sounds. Still, for someone who hates religion that's a pretty startling admission. ... He's real. He's beyond words. He's me, my innermost self, my core, my light and my love, my ultimate. And now I feel like I'm not really alone. Like there's a spark inside me, like I'm not empty, after all. I am part of other consciousness; I am part of him; I couldn't be alone if I tried. And I just cried.

I couldn't quit crying. He's so beautiful. Knowing that he was there in me, he is me, he is my saving grace... And now I crave him and wish he would come back, please, please come back...