I have found that:
  • → sincere prayer
  • → genuine intentions
  • → present-focus
  • → extended humor
  • → careful integrity
  • → constant work to discover and release all forms of bias in oneself
  • → dogged effort to pursue awareness, divine guidance and understanding
Leads a person to "interactive insight from the inside."

~~~
Consciously I want to evolve.
My ego resists strenuously.
I surreally "forget" so much!
So I blog for myself, mostly:
to re-read and remember.
~~~

People ask me where to begin with the complexity of the stuff on my blog. But my imaginal and related work spans 25 years as of 2016. So the real answer is "I don't know." I can't put all that in a sound bite. And one would have to understand, not just intellectually but experientially, a lot of it from start to middle to begin to understand where I am now. It is 'active imagination' work, resting on an extremely 'open' definition of archetype and energy, mapped at times to various occult patterns because they seem useful and otherwise just loosely personal; but that's not all. Short of how the blog speaks for itself that's about all I can say about it. It's a path I've built myself, for one. ~ Palyne


In the human spirit, as in the universe, nothing is higher or lower; everything has equal rights to a common center which manifests its hidden existence precisely through this harmonic relationship between every part and itself.
-- Goethe


Angels transcend every religion, every philosophy, every creed. In fact angels have no religion as we know it... their existence precedes every religious system that has ever existed on earth.
-- St. Thomas Aquinas

Recent Posts & Archives

  • 2017 (15)
  • 2016 (25)
  • 2015 (28)
  • 2014 (50)
  • 2013 (79)
  • 2012 (108)
  • 2011 (44)
  • 2010 (117)
  • 2009 (97)
  • 2008 (57)
  • 2007 (11)
  • 2005 (1)

In the beginning all was indivisible. And in becoming manifest, it became, seemingly, divisible. But the divisions must evolve to recognize themselves, and each other, and to then accept themselves, to truly know themselves by knowing each other. To begin, they are blended, confused; it is chaos, it is legion. They are all on the journey to indivisibility, to singularity, to the I AM. The point, of course, is not the destination, but the journey.

-- insight during the Princess of Disks meditation

Spiritual growth is like all other types: you absorb seemingly 'other' energy, and it becomes part of your own sense of identity. The growth is in awareness, and with that comes power which is always over Self.
Diversity is Legion;
Singularity is the I AM.
None of this is new although my approach to it is my own. -- Palyne



Inner Guide is Angelic. She is free of anything akin to doctrine. I call her an Angel because that is the only word I have for it, and because I know, all the way through me, that this is our word for her fundamentally divine nature. Aside from that, I don’t even know what she IS exactly, or what it means, or where it would fit into any model. She is life sized, soul wide, colors and gems and flowers and songs, everything beautiful that ever was, condensed into an identity I am completely in love with–except she feels like part of me too, so it’s like also being in love with yourself, and also with God, and also with the whole universe, both every tiny thing in your mundania, and ‘awareness’ as something so utterly, mind-bogglingly amazing — how could this exist? How could this not exist? How could I ever understand such a thing? — I am left only with joy, with awe.
-- on Inner Guide #4, aka 'Sedaena'. The first IG I had genuine conversation (and reading) with; the first real sign of my HGA.

He is so much inside and outside me, larger than me and yet the light of the tiniest particles of me, I don’t even have a word for whatever it is that he IS. I call him angelic and inner guide and the name he gave me because I have no idea what else to call this. It’s a Being and a Thing and an Event and a Place and a Relationship and… it’s like there is no label that is remotely big enough to encompass whatever it IS.
-- on Inner Guide #5, aka 'Mark.'


The boundary between the imaginational and imaginal is rather fuzzy and it is a developed skill and art to learn to stay there; to maintain your own autonomy while allowing the-others’ autonomy; to be shocked, astounded, grossed out, effused, and other surprise emotions from the interaction; all this without getting lost in the experience like a dream, yet also without pulling back to controlling the experience like a daydream. The former is being swept away by the river, and the latter is standing on the shore thinking about it; learning to walk the fine line of control and allowance to stay in that ‘imaginal realm’ actually takes practice. Crazy people think it’s all autonomous and happening ‘to’ them; people unable to allow this for themselves, may think it’s all imagination; and they’d both be right, because they are both lost; the goal is a whole world that bridges and encompasses both of those.

-- on "Interworlds Meditation"


Q: Where are you now?

Me: Well, back in my own reality.

Q: Wrong. You are in a reality version that distraction and denial have made for you.

Me: How do I get out?

Q: Wrong question. There is no space, there is no time. Where are you again?

Me: Oh. I’m wherever I "pay attention" to being.

Q: Right. You PAY attention. It is the currency of your soul. You rent your reality. Never forget that. The choice to move is yours.




Dealing with the unconscious has become a question of life for us.
The play of the imagination is incalculable.
~ Carl Jung

The imaginary can be innocuous, the imaginal never can.
~ Henry Corbin

A calling may be postponed, avoided, intermittently missed. It may also possess you completely. Whatever; eventually it will out. It makes its claim. The daimon does not go away.
~ James Hillman

There comes a time when the mind takes a higher plane of knowledge but can never prove how it got there.
-- Albert Einstein


ABOUT ME


This blog documents much of my work in the "inter-worlds" of a greater-self. It's not just esoteric: every thing corresponds — the mundane, the arcane, the divine. If it had to be summed up you might say it is "a universe of personalization." A strange place where monotheism and ultimate-pantheism are one and the same.

I am a natural mystic, if spontaneous experiences determine such a thing. I am not religious in any way; only guidance from the inside drives me. No identities or models unless they are introduced to me from the inside. (Sometimes I use them simply for interest, or because their models are convenient doorways -- but I accept none of their doctrines.) I briefly studied theology at one point, independently (I consider constant prayer a valid part of edu too), and where it led me was "anywhere-else." It's fine for others of course. I consider the heart of free will to be that everyone has their own road. Or as Heinlein once wrote, the right to go to hell in their own handbasket.

This tends to make me obsessed with the divine yet not religious at all, in any form, which is often confusing to onlookers. I am ever in love with and in closer pursuit of integration with The Christ (which I consider a solar-planetary deity, exceeding and preceding all possible religion, though cyclically present within our species) but I'm not remotely a modern Christian, and this also tends to be very confusing to onlookers. I'm a student of archetypes and pattern systems, yet not a jungian intellectual - armchair philosophy bores me - nor a power occultist - which has its own issues (and uniforms) to say the least.

After nearly two decades of certain experiences I felt alone with and thought were unique to me, it turns out I find some harmony in the gnostic writings. I didn't get it from there, and am not fond of that doctrine and the paradigms it came in with, so I ignore it. Which means despite talking about just a few things specific to it (by unknowing accident until a few years ago), I'm not part of that model either.

The road I walk is my own. It doesn't really have an easy label or anybody else on it, that I can see. This is between me and God, so it doesn't really need to work for anybody else. I used to wish I wasn't the only person with such experiences or practices, and started a blog in part in the hope I might find others with something similar. Maybe a need for community. I'm over that now, at least I think. I walk alone, but Light is with me. Can't ask for more than that.

-- Palyne


When we understand that perception is as much about source as target; that energy is a spectrum and best psi perception comes from the center, its balance and blend; that the manifest communication of our Selves is the literal 'reality' we experience; that everything in that reality is a profound 3D language element; that insight with the ‘center’ of spectrum is likely to be via the language-symbols of 'reality;' that these need to be interpreted at the level they are received; this is the path for intentional psi.
-- Insight on the Art of RV

The Prejudice of Preconceptions

I recently blogged about a vision of my Aeon Ray — where I could SEE him utterly clearly, and talk to him, and knew that this man was how his energy was “em-bodied in this reality.”

Some time ago (after that, though) I met another Aeon. Completely clear vision. I was just astounded by how clear this was — really the chakras are just rocking when they want to be!

He said he was Jared. And I instantly closed it down in emotional rejection.

I love Jared, I have a close relationship with him especially compared to most others. He and I have been through a lot together.

But his embodiment ‘here’ was so different than how I have modeled him internally.

Jared first appeared (the first Aeon I ever encountered, though I didn’t know it at the time) — and then again a year later — as a Roman-ish soldier, a leader, though in more casual leather. Possibly influenced by my limited experience, he came across a lot like Russell Crowe in the Gladiator movie, because I don’t know many generals of armies of that era to model that energy on I suppose.

We have spent a lot of time together in the past. Our relationship had a whole storyline-drama that I’m sure is as creative as anything else (not literal except for me), but it created powerful emotion in me. And resolving that energy helped me let go of one of the most detrimental, powerful energies I’d had for 40 years. So it was a big deal.

Sometimes in the past when I spent more time with my Aeons, I would just go see him and El Nino, and hang out with them for awhile. We’d ride for awhile, stop and picnic, curl up together in a hammock. You get the idea.

The man I saw, the man his energy is embodied as in my reality, is so completely different — and pointedly, actually, unattractive to me, even a bit repellent! I had an instant “I don’t like him and wouldn’t get along with him” sense.

The instant, utter CRASH of how Jared feels to me internally, versus the personality he embodies here as, was such a cognitive dissonance that my psychology slammed that door shut immediately.

I cannot begin to find a picture to represent him literally. But just a little bit, I knew an actor who had just a little bit of the “feel” of him — it is ineffably difficult to explain — this pic of Chris Elliot (who I think is a fine actor, nothing against the guy!). Except much worse than this — there was something about him that was immediately irritating to me. The whole look of him was even irritating to me.

(I suppose he is ‘carrying that energy’ for me, like in ‘my worst enemy’ meditation.)

*

Once on an airplane I had a few minutes where I knew, from the look of anyone even from the back, tons about them. As if every single thing about them was so obviously manifested in their body, in how they stood, in their face, it was just so incredibly apparent. It was a small few minutes of expanded perception that was really amazing.

I seemed to have that with the two Aeons I’ve seen so far. Like an instant look at them tells me tons about their personality and how we would interact.

I didn’t get that part in the old airplane experience — that was more about the “nature” of people (to include a lot of their inhibitions and limitations), nothing to do with how I’d relate to them.

With the Aeons, how I would relate to them comes through instantly.

*

If I had to let immediate prejudices run, I’d say the gut feeling was that he’d be a wanna-be intellectual I’d be stuck working with in some fashion, someone I would feel had seriously insufficient integrity, who would end up being one of those drama queen, competitive but weak, pansy-ass jerks that make me want to force them to find some spine and be a man already. (I actually mean that as much for women as men, not really saying men are supposed to be tougher, just using the ‘man’ in that phrase in the ‘have a backbone and character already’ sense.)

Such rare people come across as such manipulators using victim-whining-as-bullying, they make me WANT to be mean to them at that point (I guess that’s a sort of “I’ll give you something to whine about!” haha).

(Although I liked him better and he’s certainly better looking, the coworker I had the Froggy Prince meditation about was rather like that.)

So you take an Aeon who is a fundamental part of me, a vast 1/12 of the universe that is me, a man with a profound and intimate and powerful relationship with me, who has always been so strong (remember the archetype model he came to me with), whom I have admired and adored for years for his strength of character as well as body.

And then there’s this dorky looking guy who pissed me off instantly and almost gave me a sneer-response.

It was horrible.

*

The previous vision I had, of Ray, I didn’t dislike the guy, but I had the sense then that he and I would probably be at loggerheads before long, gut feeling, like I would find him stubborn and a little unreasonable, maybe even obtuse.

Now I’m slightly terrified that I will actually meet 3rd of 4 in my reality, as I’ve hoped for years, and I’ll think he’s a total jerk. My god.  I didn’t get that impression in the visions I’ve had of him. But I did get the impression that he was a bit… conservative. A very solid salt of the earth sort. Like a lot of my less ideal personality elements he would find irritating or immature.

*

And then I realized what I’d done. I had let some kind of immediate prejudice, including some degree of reacting merely to how he looked, actually cause me to reject one of my own Aeons! Good grief!

I mean — how would they see me? For godssakes I’m the size of a refrigerator, and you know how our culture is about fat, they’d likely be horrified. And what if they were as shallow and prejudiced about me as I am apparently about them?

I apologized sincerely. I begged forgiveness. I was mortified that he had been KIND enough to actually help me perceive him literally, to add an answer to my question about whether my Aeons, like the Four, were actually embodied in my focus-reality — and I promptly rejected him with such an immediate, intense reaction.

How can I love him so much inside, and perceive him with so much strength of character inside, and yet perceive his body/personality in this focus-reality as so completely different?

It fries my brain.

P

1 comment to The Prejudice of Preconceptions

  • Eva

    Maybe internally you see them more as their ideal evolved versoins. way they are in our reality, they are probably less evolved versions that show the weaker and less evolved version of the same energy. They say that when you are super irritated by something, it usually reflects something about yourself and not so much them. If you think about it, there are lots of less evolved people on this Earth, pychopaths and murderers and all kind of others, yet there is only a certain subset of them that one tends to find super irritating. The subset you find super irritating, they say that happens because that subset is reflecting back some part of you that you really don’t want to see about yourself. Look at who irritates you most and think hard on why and you can figure out all kinds of things about yourself! ;-P
    -Eva

Leave a Reply

You can use these HTML tags

<a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>

  

  

  

TOP OF PAGE