Consciously I want to evolve.
My ego resists and I forget.
I blog, re-read, remember.
So I blog for me, mostly.
I have found that:
  • → sincere and regular prayer
  • → genuinely good intentions
  • → present-focus, "interest"
  • → extended sense of humor
  • → honesty, sharing, healing
  • → constant work to discover and release bias in oneself
  • → dogged (to the extreme) effort to pursue awareness and understanding
Leads a person to "interactive insight from the inside." We only grok by going through.
Spiritual growth is like all others: you absorb, become aware, and via love (sympathetic rapport and desire to become or absorb) and will (directed intent), that energy becomes part of your singular sense of identity. The 'growth' is in awareness, and with that comes power which is always over Self. Diversity is Legion; Singularity is the I AM. None of this is new or unique. It's simply "unconscious and slow" for most people. I figure I can't help doing it, so I would rather do it well than badly.
Darkness is not of the Nothingness. It is not the opposite of light, as it only exists within the realm of light itself. Darkness is just something-ness lacking color. The universe is fundamentally of light, and darkness fails to hold dominance and fails to understand why: its nature precludes it: awareness itself makes all identities children of the light.

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The Plan

Following on my discipline thoughts…

I made a new schedule and I’m doing multiple meditations per day. Most are not likely to be real exciting on paper and be brief. Hoping I can blog them superfast too.

I can post one post per meditation or just do a daily and include stuff. I think I’ll do a daily compilation, except if anything specific I want to remember especially crops up I’ll put that in a separate post.

My schedule looks like this, with meditative stuff in brackets:

[Prayer],  Work,  [IG1],  Work,  [Rounds],  Food,  Work,  [Integration],  Lift1,  Cleaning,  Food,  Art/Science,  [IG2],  [Largers & Body],  Ry time,  [Structure Focus],  [Issues Focus]. It goes from 6:20am to 10:00pm.

This has to flex based in part on work and the kid. But I figure if I just get through each day with an eye to my goals, best as I can, by the end of the day I’ll probably get to most of it and it’ll be alright. Better than not getting anything done at all, which has been the road lately.

Legend: Rounds=Aeon round. IG1/2 means ‘whatever IG wants’ session. Prayer is always the first thing, to God. Integration means an Aeon Sigil: an attempt to get 2+ Aeons to integrate more. The first up is LaeLee with whom I think I have less integration than any of the Aeons. So I will first work with her and Marcan, whom I know are barely integrated at all, and then move around the circle, working with her and everyone else. Lift is weight lifting. Art/Science means my 3 main hobbies, or things I want to make enough time for I can fairly call them that: music, writing, coding. (Coding will before long be replace by Remote Viewing again.)

Largers & Body means various meditations both with the L’s and daily Tek meds to work on my health. Structure focus means usually archmeds planned around stuff — elements, tarot, solar system, etc. Issue focus means stuff based on general or current-life situations.

My hope is to just dedicate myself to this happening and focus through the day and night on it, schedule 2 hours with Ry at night that is a hard schedule and then I have two hours meditating and then it’s time for bed. I got real-life and exercise and food in there too, let’s see how much of that actually works out.

I got 3 hours sleep and I missed breakfast. So my schedule is not off to a perfect start. But I have faith if I just COMMIT to this UTTERLY that it’s going to be ok.

3 comments to The Plan

  • VB

    And then she never meditated again…

    • LOL! It looks like that!

      I got a promotion that led to massive 20/7 work schedule so I haven’t been doing much of anything enough… including sleeping or eating.. it’ll pass. ;-)

      Palyne

  • VB

    Sorry, hope that didn’t come out as snark…I found your blog a few weeks ago and read all the entries, and I’m really rooting for you. :)

    I actually remember reading “Bewilderness” back in the late ’90′s (I found it on a web search for OTO, which I was getting ready to join at the time.) I found it absolutely fascinating and very well written. I was glad to discover you were still pursuing your Great Work and writing about it online!

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