The Pattern of a Problem

I was just laying here, half asleep with my eyes closed, listening to the ‘celtic woman’ music guilty for putting me to sleep so fast I’d left my dinner sitting in a bowl nearby and never got a single bite. I was mentally browsing between a dream I’d had earlier (long past in the night), and problems of the world today, such as current war issues.

I started to understand that there was some relationship between these two things, but I had no idea what and wasn’t up to thinking that hard.

I was in the middle of the foreign question when I suddenly saw a small solution to it. Not a big solution to everything, but a solution to the tiny piece that I had been thinking about without meaning to, at that moment. I was a little surprised at it, as it was one of those things I might never have thought of but once I did it was so ridiculously obvious that I felt like we’re all just morons for not seeing this clearly.

A ‘voice of understanding’ said to me, the solution to a problem is always lying dormant within the problem itself. The energies are not separable.

I saw that it had a little bit in common with the ‘all polarities are eventually the same thing’ kind of perception… but also different. It reminded me of how in hypnotherapy it was said that a subject tells you both the problem and solution generally in the first visit and it seldom has much to do with their ‘presented problem’.

The dynamic of the solution-shift had almost a physical feeling built into it, when it became, or grew, or “birthed” its own solution. Like something inside it all sort of “inverted and then bloomed.” There was an oddly geometric and internally-kinesthetic feeling inside me.

Then I saw: of course my body feels it; because all energy including that problem is part of me, if it’s part of my reality.

PROBABILITIES

I remembered a time when I was thinking about Seth and ‘shifted out of a probability’ where an earthquake was happening. How utterly bizarre it all was, and so this-is-live-not-memorex. I had been sitting in my ground-level window opening, at home in Camarillo CA back then, reacting fast like a soldier to the situation I’d planned for just in case. In my head I was screaming at Seth, “I thought you said it was MY choice?! I don’t want this!” and then thinking with anger-but-humor that if we really *can* change our reality, THIS would be a damn good time to figure out how! And I looked across the street, at this multistory bank building that was covered with those big blue-ish mirrored panels, and the entire thing was shaking like jello it seemed. As the shaking of the world around it, and it-itself, was reflected in every panel of course, it looked crazy. And then “reality inverted.” Swear to god that’s just how it felt. Like when you are looking at one of those trick line drawings that relies on the natural shifting of your visual focus, and suddenly something that was pointing toward you is now pointing away.

Inside me there had been a subtle feeling, physical, that came with it, almost the energetic equivalent of a click, a feeling to that ‘inversion’. I found myself exactly where I had been a short time before when the massive quake hit — literally with my arm out reaching for a book, across the room sitting in bed one morning — with 100% of the memory but none of the adrenalin. It almost broke my brain, the experience. I felt as if I had literally ‘jumped tracks’ in some way, and I had several experiences related to “reality and timeline” for awhile during that point of my life. That these did not leave me in a straight-jacket is really a miracle of its own.

The inversion physically during that experience — where the bank building seemed to get infinitely far away in a micro-instant — reminded me of this. I mused about that lazily for a bit.

SOLVE-ATION?

Then my thoughts idly shifted back to my dream and the situational problem in it. I applied the same “feeling-dynamic,” without regard to any of the informational-detail at all, to the dream situation: and there it was! The solution was located, as so-obviously there-all-along, and the whole central part of the situational ‘thing-itself’ just ‘inverted then bloomed’ inside me.

I ran back into the dream, so stupid in my lazy morning drifting that I forgot you’re not supposed to just be able to do that!, calling to the women, some kind of magical nuns (probably an energy called/created by the Ave Maria in my playlist!) and I said, look, look at this! This is how it should be done, this is why it’s all a good thing, not a bad thing. Maybe talking to them required a dream-state because I was showing them this when I abruptly fell asleep again.

When I woke up, I remembered Nero once sitting in on one of my dreams, and telling me (repeatedly, because I am so dense…)  how I had to know a solution existed, no matter how impossible it seemed. I mean totally have faith/believe it WAS there, and then look for the feeling of that energy, that solution and there it would be. He had played it out with me in my dream many times.

It felt a lot like that same dynamic. You couldn’t “think about it” to fix it. There was utterly no hope for the ‘rational’ side of the problem! That much was obvious.

So you had to make a place inside you for the solution, and then you had to *know* it was there and *look for it* while knowing it was there to be found, so that those two activities in combination created this “tuning into the probability” effect that would make it so. It would bring you to a probability, out of infinite experience, that gave you what you needed. The solution would often be something you never would have thought of in a million years.

Or, hilariously, it was often what I call “Scooby-Doo Logic,” where something completely “accidental” and unexpected happened — say it with me, “Incredible Luck” — that would totally give you the clue or change the outcome.

ALL FOLIAGE IS PATTERNED ON THE SEED

Then I realized I couldn’t remember the dream that was so clear earlier, nor the foreign problem and solution I’d been focused on. Darn it! They were interesting and I wanted to blog them and now I couldn’t. But I did remember the point of it, and felt someone internally was showing me this, when I reacted with disappointment to the memory part. Like, “Hey, you are missing the point! The point wasn’t those situations, it was the resolution they had in common!”

The point of it was that solutions are not found in “the topography of situational energy” but in the core.

This has a translation: The solution is seldom found in the ‘logical’ part of the situation, the surface “presented-problem” as one would say in therapy, and that’s why some problems, as the saying goes, are such a tangle of hopelessness that we have no sword but laughter. They seem hopeless because their solution is not something logic can address. If it could, it probably wouldn’t have become that terrible a snarl to begin with.

You have to meditate on the whole thing together, to begin. “Let it be” inside you for awhile. While you do this, some part of you figures out the pattern of energy, just like how your eyes-brain subconsciously find the visual pattern in those 3-D magic-eye pictures. Accept everything. You have to! Because the answer is always in the key of the problem and if you’re rejecting the problem, like you can’t even let yourself be honest about its existence and reality, then you’re not giving yourself the full energy pattern to work with.

OK, so you’ve got it all inside you and some part of you is mapping out the whole situation, and the problem inherent, which in a truer energetic-sense is more like an impossible tangle-ball of what used to be a fine gold chain, and less like whatever surface-situational thing we think is the problem.

Then you have to “grok” — truly have faith, believe, understand, accept — that the answer IS actually inside there. It is a pattern within the pattern. A hidden picture, except it is energy that feels like it is inside your torso. You haven’t seen it yet consciously maybe, but you have to totally trust that it IS there. The solutions is creatively compiled *from* the problem+situation, so it cannot fail to be there, because there’s lots of energy and always enough to creatively compile a solution.

This is not about THIS problem, whatever it might, it’s about ALL problems no matter what they are. The main reason we doubt solutions is because we look not at energy patterns — if we did, we would recognize everything more clearly — but we look at the surface of the problem. Its novelty distracts us! Oh, TODAY the problem is our boss, our wife, our car, our health, our presence in a foreign country, sure… but those are just the pictures on the surface.

It is like how the same archetypal “plots” make up hundreds of movies, but the characters and specific situations change. It’s all the same plot; the energy pattern is the same, in whole or in part.

Maybe just how fundamental this is isn’t obvious. For example people compare Avatar to Dances with Wolves or Fern Gully, but those are just the most-obvious archetype matching. The energetic relationships that both define and resolve ‘the problem’ are far more versatile than that.

For example, in one movie, it is tall blue aliens on another planet in Avatar sitting on a natural resource, and the soldier there from the enemy who is changed in part by his relationship with a woman of their people, following a shift in his feelings about himself when he is ‘freed’ from a limiting physical situation (his legs). But in Pretty Woman it’s a corporate takeover man who buys/breaks-up/sells other peoples resources (businesses), who is changed in part by his relationship with the man who owns the company, and by his relationship with a woman ‘of the people’ (not rich at all like him), following a shift in his feelings about himself when he is ‘freed’ from a limiting emotional situation (about his father). Those two movies are nothing alike!–I doubt anybody but me would ever correlate Avatar with Pretty Woman. But the same ‘problem dynamics’ in small or large pieces are arrayed all around us in the real world and in what we create, see?

For the most part, I see now that a small number of fundamental energy complexes populate our reality and our problems. Being holographic in nature, it’s simply that they replicate into every aspect of reality that we create, because the patterns inside us are always present in the screen-pictures we project outward as our reality.

So it’s not about the situation we distract ourselves with on the surface, it’s about the basics of how energy functions, fundamentally, which is no different in any given situation.

Every problem you have ever solved, every solution you have ever discovered, every moment of luck or synchronicity you have ever had, both in life and in dreams, from personal relationships to near-misses on the highway to a lucky shopping day, all of these are repeated evidence that this works, that your answer-pattern is ‘within’ the larger situational and problem-pattern, like some kind of gematria of energy-anagrams inside you, and you can and will find it if you allow this to happen.

You merely need to accept that it’s there, and look for it knowing you’ll find it any second now, and it’s going to present itself. There is this shift, this “inversion of energy” inside you, and suddenly there is that pattern-of-solution! Suddenly visible like a flower handed you from the very inner-middle, one creatively manifested out of the very kaleidascope of energy of the problem itself.

Like the first time you ever see the true 3D-ness of those magic eye pictures, do you remember your first time? I remember mine, and I was going, “No way! Oh my God! That is so cool! How is this possible?!”  The first time I saw one of those was during my ‘Bewilderness’ era and it sparked more metaphysics than any other event  for quite awhile.

IT’S ALL ABOUT ME. HEH.

I laid around awhile more then, thinking about this, thinking about how helpful ‘someone’ has been to me in terms of ‘insights and training’, and how I now have so damn many ‘someones’ that I don’t even know WHO unless they provide me a specific energy or sense-of-presence. When I get irked about this I remember Nero and Taan telling me, this is supposed to be seamless, this relationship between us. It’s all “me” and some “them” and there is no difference. But I like it when I have a sense of difference, of other identities. It makes it easier to keep track of than having “many versions of me” working it out inside me, without names/identities assigned.

I had the feeling then that the problem is that this IS a problem for me. Because it really IS ‘seamless’, sometimes a given ‘perspective’ walking me through something, it is not ‘me’ vs. ‘Nero’, it is more like, 17% of me and 28.9% Nero and 11% Taan and 2.7019% Auk Sham and so on — so I don’t get “an” identity because there is no ‘singular identity’ involved. I guess that makes sense.

*

I am wondering if all this is, in part, an answer for me. To something I was thinking.

I was standing at my refrigerator just last night, looking in, and thinking to myself, maybe there is no solution. Maybe I should give up hope. I am never going to truly understand my metabolism. Like it’s a problem too big, too complex, too long-term, too impossible to solve. I even joke sometimes that solving this riddle is as likely as asking for peace in the middle east.

I sometimes feel I am never going to understand why I can eat a fraction of what someone 1/3 my size does, whether in calories or carbs or both, and not lose weight. I mean yeah I get the logic of it “sort of” that there’s all kinds of hormonal things going on for a long time not addressed, but all this science is still in infancy, our own best experts are still flailing around it like confused moths in disagreement and chaos and not a solution from any of them, and this particularly goes for morbid- and super- obesity which, if you talk to endocrinologists and geneticists who work with this, almost seems to be another problem entirely from the folks who need to lose 40#… the same things that work with the latter have zero effect on the former or even make the problem worse or create several other problems while at it.

They will work for awhile, to a degree (if the internet’s massive collection of effort is an indicator, the variable-limit is about 150-200# women, 200-250# men), and then stop working. And then what. Then the person, not understanding why what they did that worked doesn’t anymore, keeps trying, it keeps not working, and they keep assuming they just aren’t doing it perfectly enough somehow.

Someday we will understand this, and scientists will then be going, “Oy vey! Of course! Yes, it’s so obvious!” — but that hasn’t happened yet. They discovered the hormone Leptin years ago and funders were orgasmic thinking it was the answer to obesity, but then it turned out… no, it wasn’t. Hey look it worked for mice!–er, it turns out mice aren’t humans, who knew?

Like everything else, the solution is not outside (the whole eat less/exercise more calorie myth, which is vastly more evident as a misunderstanding the larger the person), it is inside, it is something about how the body processes hormones and proteins and everything else. It’s a giant mystery as hairy and unsolvable as the middle east at this point, a problem gradually getting so much worse that it starts expanding (no pun intended, but maybe it should be) to take a larger and larger role within society at large.

If pain in the body is a message, “pay attention to me!”, and the more pain, the louder the cry for help; then problems “that grow into monstrous proportions” are the same thing, just seemingly external in the case of world situations. The jihad of my fat is a problem unsolvable by the levels of logic available.

So I wondered if this had brought on the whole walk-through on solutions to impossible problems. That I needed to get back to focusing where I had to begin with; on inner-work. That taking supplements, and eating X not Y, Y not X, small amounts of X and Y, no X and Y and only Z, drink water, lift weights, do the hokey pokey and you turn yourself around . . . uh, this helps ‘to a degree’ as I know, I’ve lost a lot of weight… but it is not the solution, it’s just cleaning up the outside of the problem, so to speak.

Metabolism is hormone and enzyme regulated, and there is so much science doesn’t even know yet about the pituitary and amygdala and liver and brain you’d be amazed how every part of the body ties into this stuff.

Fat is now beginning to be understood by science as a distributed ORGAN (as is skin), not inert junk in storage, it actually “does” all kinds of stuff on its own–it’s not just inert luggage.  How weird is that? My fat is alive.

The problem with my metabolism–with “the abnormal enlargement” of that organ, just like people have enlarged hearts or gall-bladders — it’s internal. When I solve the internal problem–and I say when not if because I’m the world’s biggest optimist apparently–I bet it will seem like one of the many external solutions suddenly begins working. That happens sometimes–very rarely for people at really high weights, but on occasion–but the solution or what works or doesn’t is different for everybody, which does suggest that some internal change makes it possible, at which point no matter what external approach one is taking, that would probably be ok.

Much like remote viewing/psychic work; once you accept you can do it and get in the habit, it really doesn’t matter what dance you do for it; the dynamic that is actually making it happen is below that.

People take ‘external solutions’ as drastic as surgery and end up fat again. Or they lose what they could have on low-carb, usually up to about 150# for women and 200# for men, but they’re still 100-200# overweight and for nearly everyone supersize, beyond that level, nothing else changes. There is obviously more to this than the various over-simplistic wishful thinking about calories, carbs, or how you dance naked under the moon.

LESSONS

It seems like a problem for which the tangle is so hopeless there is no sword but laughter.

So maybe it was an explanation for me. That looking at the surface of the problem “distracts me with its novelty.”

That whatever the problem, it is an energy pattern, and it is inside me, and it’s probably playing out in 1000 ways in my reality not just this one, and there might be a solution but it isn’t hammering it harder from the outside. It isn’t sending in more soldiers. It isn’t imposing higher taxes. There is a solution, but it’s not from that direction.

Well, I bet I am the only person regularly correlating obesity, psychic work and international problems, hahahaha!

What do you think of the subtitles. I thought that might make it easier in long posts.

P