It is my intent that this page will introduce others to the other three of what I call The Four, or Elementals of Soul. Maybe describe the ways I have perceived them, and some of my favorite experiences with them. I haven’t gotten to building out the page yet. In the meantime you can use the tags or categories to find things specific to this subject.
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In 1993 I had a profound vision, and in it, I met a man–or rather, “was” a man–who I understood to be part of me. Or rather, that we were both a part of something larger, and the ‘source energy’ for both of us was an overlap. He was me, “plus” a little. Yet a person of his own, in his own world. He was a very large man, with white-blonde hair and unusually blue, large, slightly slanted eyes. In the vision, he was ‘claiming his power’. It was amazing. This experience came during what in retrospect I might say is a few years of kundalini-based experience, which I put in a case study online I called Bewilderness. The experience however seemed to spark a great deal more experience: with him, with others, and in general. I think I have sometimes perceived him as a lion in dreams, although I am not sure if this overlaps with the 1st. He and the first are often together as one, much as I and the 2nd are. The 3rd and I have shared many, many dreams. There appears to be a whole life that we live together, on another level.
We are two of four; he is 3rd, I am 4th. Actually these identities, these four, they are larger identities. For example I am the 4th yet only one ‘facet’ or perspective; there is one or more perspectives which would encompass mine and all the other facets as well, which would be the larger, more spiritual entity. The four are nested like a russian doll, the 4th the smallest inside. So each ‘contains’ the energy of the other ‘plus some’ and is then contained by the next higher.
The 1st of 4, whom I call Senior, is the most powerful. I rarely perceive him clearly and when I do, it is normally as a dark dusky-red “vaguely asian” man. (Both this species and the blonde’s were reflected in entities I met during the Bewilderness-era and are considered in modern culture human ‘aliens’. I don’t know much about that. I have run into so many things and identities that I get a little lost as to how all these things should be labeled.) The ‘symbols’ of the Senior are black, red, and rectangle. In dreams and visions (and even real life) when these are present it reflects his energy. He is the definition of “I AM” energy. When he is sharing his perspective or influence with me, it is utterly commanding, and he has all-power, because he understands that everything is part of him. He can directly influence (command) my body, although I suspect they all can.
The 2nd of 4, whom I call The Queen, is amazing. She is “spiritual royalty” as I perceive it. Both she and Senior tend to cause me to kneel as reflex, from the ‘sense of holy’. (Although the 3rd has this also, it is less so, and mitigated by my much closer to relationship with him, as a ‘lover/twin’ of sorts.) She and I appear to have “every possible relationship” that two females could have in our world. (The 1st and 3rd have this, as males.) I have had quite a few “past life” dreams or visions in which she and I are one, but I function like a guide, and she is the one ‘dominant’ in the personality. I’ve been made to understand that we are all an incredible number of different creatures and people, and that the ‘people’ I perceive them as, that is simply some aspect of the larger-soul I am relating to. I see her as a tall woman with long black hair and an unusually long head. I believe she is of some real people in history whom the earliest Egyptians were attempting to be like (and might have been a little bit related to). She often appears as a golden eagle, I mean literally like a living creature made of gold.
I am madly in love with the 3rd, who is madly in love with the 2nd, who is madly in love with the 1st, but we all love each other with a simply stunning degree of depth and power. I believe it is that we each long for and are drawn to the holiness at the level above. The 3rd and 4th are twins/mates, and the 1st and 2nd are as well. In many experiences, each of the sets “merges” into a single being (the 5th and 6th, male and female respectively), and then these (lovers/twins) merge into another singular being (the 7th), who is the inclusion of all. I have only had a very small perception of these cumulative identities so far.
I suspect that the Vedic statues that seem to indicate multiple people in one (multiple heads and/or arms) may reflect this kind of identity structure. Since the mid 1990s when the internet came around I have occasionally looked for other references to this kind of “identity framework” as I spontaneously experience, without much luck. I did eventually stumble on the understanding that at least in some frameworks — shamanic, jungian, some eastern frameworks — the “many selves” is a given. So far I’ve never met anybody else who talks much about it in the way that I do, though. I hope that my blog someday leads someone else to realize they’re not alone. I hope someday to meet someone else who has these kinds of experience. I feel pretty alone with nearly all of my experience most of the time, not just this, but the rest of it as well.
There is one ‘symbolic’ translation of an ‘apocryphal’ gnostic doc (‘Sethian Gnosticism’) I found in 2009 which to my agog-level astonishment, refers to 4 Aeons of light (I have perceived us this way), and even to 12 identities within or around that. (I got intuitively, repeatedly, that the 12 were ‘Aeons’, though this word made no sense to me as I considered that a measure of time. I did not perceive the 4 as called that. However when I used a search engine on ‘The Four and 12 Aeons’ that is what came up.) This gnostic stuff seems however to be modeled as if at a more spiritual level, by which I mean, it doesn’t sound like something you would expect to find ‘some woman on the internet’ part of–it sounds as if it is talking about only someone really holy, maybe the Christ or The First Perfect Man or something, which is confusing. Also, it has the most curious effect of sounding like words someone wrote down as documentation–with no sense to me at all of the actual experience, of the person who wrote it having any part of that structure. I find this more confusing than helpful, because now I don’t know if I should take the information from that and consider it literal, or if my own experience is still the only measuring point I should use. So far I have stuck with my own models, as limited and often confusing as they may be. Seth (Jane Roberts) suggested that some identities work together as one, I don’t recall the detail but a friend mentioned this on seeing my ‘Four’ materials.
In the gnostic stuff there is also some entities called ‘archons’ which appear to be bad guys. I don’t know anything about that, except perhaps a small reference in a powerful dream I once had with the third, where I “was his anchor in this time” and “woke him up” — he had been somehow hidden inside himself to protect him from a group of entities which would try and take his power, in a rather ‘Highlander’ theme — and in doing so I had “brought on the end times” of my people, of this (my) world. Aside from that dream I don’t think I’ve had any run-in with the alleged dark side in this context. I sometimes face it in my dreams, but I feel as if I am not with the Four there. I have sometimes found myself standing staunchly, shouting, ‘I am of Michael!’ in refusal of what seems a constant attempt to convince me I should make a commitment to something or someone. I don’t know if that is related or not.
I do sometimes see ‘the Four’ acted out in fiction. I think other people perceive this subconsciously and create it. For example, the Chronicles of Narnia by C. S. Lewis have that 2/2 royalty that in various respects reflects this a little. The energy of the King (Senior) and the storyline of being willing to take that power is something I deal with–I have trouble with this energy more than the others of the three–most of the “archetypes” about the major elements of royalty probably apply. The story of the movie ‘The 5th Element’ by Luc Besson is to me, clearly a story of the 3rd (action/courage/soldier) pursuing the Queen (spiritual royalty), with the roles of the 4th (Priest) and 1st (Diva) gender-switched. Perhaps Zorg is the Archon of that movie (and Ruby the Fool). In fact there is a scene in that movie where the woman gives her name which is similar–though not nearly as impressive–as an experience I had with the Four, centered on the Queen, in 1994 I think it was–similar enough that the moment in the movie made me suddenly realize a little of the parallel between she and the Queen, and hence the whole plot and The Four.
The 3rd is present with me most often, but the Four are often with me in dreams, sometimes in meditations. Sometimes I recognize them within me by the energy; the 3rd is the man of courage and action, the 2nd is the woman of healing and powerful compassion; the 1st is the man of command and I AM. I appear to be, in 4th, more earth-based, possibly ‘service’ as that seems a fundamental of my personality (four planets in Virgo!). I feel that the Tarot, designed to categorized our universe, reflects us as Wands (Knight), Cups (Queen), Swords (Prince), and Disks (myself).
My sense of the Four as of early Fall 2010 became sort of centered in the space between my heart and throat chakras, as if it were a sort of spiritual umbilical or connection there. They want me to ‘be’ with them more, but usually we do not do anything; it is merely ‘being’. I am easily bored, and seldom make time for this. Sometimes when I have, we have interesting experiences. But they seem to feel that our nature, our connection, is different than anything else we have going on; it is not a do-ing, just a be-ing. Merely being together is its own realm of experience. I have discovered that my extreme resistance to most everything has hindered our Four, and they are working to help expand me in part because I am part of them so my limits are theirs as well.
Most of the early stuff with the Four is in ‘Bewilderness’. I intend to make some anchored links into that, and to various blog posts on blog.psiche (here) and blog.redcairo (also with some experiences), to kind of narrate the development of this ‘spiritual structure’ of my experience. I will get to that eventually. In the meantime the category ‘The Four’ is usually checked on any post that directly involves them, although when they are very mildly involved it often is only mentioned in passing and not categorized that way.
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