Recently I keep finding myself having to drag myself out of negative daydreams or thought patterns. Today, frustrated, I asked myself, “What do I have to DO to STOP this horrible habit?!”
“Just stop,” some part of me advised mildly.
“Oh yeah, easy to SAY,” I griped. “I mean, I feel like I want it, I need it, I really want to focus on something in my mind like that, I want to put energy into it. Honestly it’s like being 80% of the way along in masturbation and then deciding to stop. The energy is ‘driving’ by then and you don’t WANT to stop. If I wasn’t daydreaming, what else could I be doing?”
I had a flash of visuals arrive, along with some shapes (suggesting Ithikah in there somewhere), and something scrolling, and everything was an example of “what else it could be.” Basically — I have an entire, rich “inner landscape” of Aeons, aspects, Archetypes, IG, the Four, various Teks, outer guides, private Oracle, but I’m the one bitching about how if some juvenile power-trip daydream weren’t in my head, well my poor head would just be empty and lacking anything else to do.
It occurred to me that in daydreams, that is one way humans have learned to intentionally focus, shape thoughtforms, and put emotion into them. So when we have some energy to pour into ourselves, we tend to use it in that model. It’s just that many of us apparently have dark habits with it. All things considered it’s amazing my life is as good as it is, given my average focus!
I must drive the Aeons mad. Can you imagine trying to do positive things with/for someone and having them constantly working against that–and then whining about their situation in life? Sheesh.
Then I started thinking about diet and psychology. I see my psychology profoundly affected by my diet and am regularly amazed all over again how pronounced it is. I suddenly had the idea that poor eating (such as things I’m intolerant to like gluten) actually brought on more violent thoughts. That seemed a silly idea at first. Then I thought: well if the body and mind are kind of one, then why wouldn’t having body-wide inflammation, invasive free radicals attacking your body and organs etc. cause psychological effects?
Then I wondered if ‘acting as if’ and forcing one’s awareness to focus on positives instead might have some bizarre reversal effect on such body issues — like grapho-therapeutics (who would have known that changing your writing can have psyche effects?!).
Well those are my thoughts for the day.
P
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