Consciously I want to evolve.
My ego resists and I forget.
I blog, re-read, remember.
So I blog for me, mostly.
I have found that:
  • → sincere and regular prayer
  • → genuinely good intentions
  • → present-focus, "interest"
  • → extended sense of humor
  • → honesty, sharing, healing
  • → constant work to discover and release bias in oneself
  • → dogged (to the extreme) effort to pursue awareness and understanding
Leads a person to "interactive insight from the inside." We only grok by going through.
Spiritual growth is like all others: you absorb, become aware, and via love (sympathetic rapport and desire to become or absorb) and will (directed intent), that energy becomes part of your singular sense of identity. The 'growth' is in awareness, and with that comes power which is always over Self. Diversity is Legion; Singularity is the I AM. None of this is new or unique. It's simply "unconscious and slow" for most people. I figure I can't help doing it, so I would rather do it well than badly.
Darkness is not of the Nothingness. It is not the opposite of light, as it only exists within the realm of light itself. Darkness is just something-ness lacking color. The universe is fundamentally of light, and darkness fails to hold dominance and fails to understand why: its nature precludes it: awareness itself makes all identities children of the light.

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Summary to date

I swear it’s like I’m being driven to go on this ‘review’ of a ton of stuff, as if I’m summarizing and getting up to date before going forward. I have had a bunch of realizations about things that I had not had before. I forget many of them but one was, for example, that the Aslan-like lion, he is another ‘form’ of the mate/twin to me. I wouldn’t have guessed that on my own.

I had this urge to search for something in email and by accident found a super important to me account that I searched for last night in backup and couldn’t locate. I have probably well over 100,000 emails in gmail. Do you know what the odds are of my accidentally finding the single email that talks about something from five years ago that I didn’t even know was there?

That however led me to realize I might have pieces of stuff I thought was lost forever, if I can get to it. I’m not sure how to access ‘archives’ in gmail aside from lucky search results.

I was coming back from getting a drink when part of me said, “Go get the old journals that are on that shelf and look through them.” But I was busy so I ignored it. “Go Go Go Go Go!” …. so rolling my eyes, I got back up and went back and got them. There were a few great things I thought were lost forever (didn’t realize I’d journaled them) AND — I am not kidding, remember I just had that “chakras as identities” note? — I actually found an extra about that exact same thing! I don’t remember ever having been told this before.

You know… this has now come up and — hmmn. The timing and repetition of the thoughts about it and the drive are suspicious. Is it possible that IF chakras could be modeled as identities, that they have weird names? (haha) Like… ACKRCK??

Oh and I was talking to my best friend about having to ASK guides/pray for specifics and I found this whole meditation that talks specifically to that point! Interesting too.

But I forget most stuff, that’s why I blog. A couple of things I found, I have no memory of at all.

I’m going to get rid of these many books with a few pages each of my writing. Tear it out and use them. I want to record these few meditations and dreams (and two poems!) that I’ve found so they aren’t lost, though, and this is the blog for it. So the next few posts will not be current stuff but quite old stuff, just to get it into this database.

PJ

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