Consciously I want to evolve.
My ego resists and I forget.
I blog, re-read, remember.
So I blog for me, mostly.
I have found that:
- → sincere and regular prayer
- → genuinely good intentions
- → present-focus, "interest"
- → extended sense of humor
- → honesty, sharing, healing
- → constant work to discover and release bias in oneself
- →
dogged (to the extreme) effort to pursue awareness and understanding
Leads a person to "interactive insight from the inside." We only grok by going through. Spiritual growth is like all others: you absorb, become aware, and via love (sympathetic rapport and desire to become or absorb) and will (directed intent), that energy becomes part of your singular sense of identity. The 'growth' is in awareness, and with that comes power which is always over Self. Diversity is Legion; Singularity is the I AM. None of this is new or unique. It's simply "unconscious and slow" for most people. I figure I can't help doing it, so I would rather do it well than badly. Darkness is not of the Nothingness. It is not the opposite of light, as it only exists within the realm of light itself. Darkness is just something-ness lacking color. The universe is fundamentally of light, and darkness fails to hold dominance and fails to understand why: its nature precludes it: awareness itself makes all identities children of the light.
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Posted by Palyne on 2012.04.12 So… need to work out some mental model ways of using Sierpienta on… energy issues.
I asked for it. It leaps to my hands (and back to case) instantly without me having to “intentionally visualize” getting it out of the case, that’s nice. Case instantly forms sheath, when needed, too. Almost as if “it’s helping” and it’s not entirely me doing all the imaginative work. In archmeds this is normal mind you — it’s a “walking the line” thing of careful control/allow — but in most other things, regular work in eyes-open mode you might say, the visualization effort is all mine. Curious, the feeling reminds me a little of “Dor,” a previous thoughtform-entity I worked with once upon a time.
I asked if it would size itself really small for finer use. It was willing to go as small as an oversized stiletto for me, same dimensions smaller scale but still about 2′ long, but that’s it. It felt like it ‘wobbled’ trying to keep an energy form below that scale, as if ‘sword’ is actually part of its inherent definition.
I looked over at the golden statue of the Four last night (which sits in the middle of my incense tray. It’s a large white wooden tray that is held on this flat ‘TV Monitor’ wall arm I used to use for something else.) and it’s as if it were ever so slightly glowing and pulsing and misting, especially the top 3 layers which I feel are three
Posted by Palyne on 2012.04.12 Wed 11 April 2012 Midnight mass with IG
Over time it is getting more difficult to think of her in the “shamanic psychological” framework I began this study with nearly 20 years ago. It gets more and more apparent and unquestionably obvious that she is Angelic.
I have to resist referring to her as ‘the angel’ since I feel like that gives a different meaning to readers, but then, I really don’t know jack about angels, so maybe it doesn’t. All I know is that this always seemed like a mental thing but she is something way beyond.
I have sometimes suspected that all of my IG’s are actually “percentages of” my blue eyes of soul — the holy guardian angel or spark of divine or whatever you want to call it — that perhaps as one moves on in this work, you are able to take a larger dose, so to speak. I’m not sure. I guess it doesn’t matter. She is what she is. Really awesome.
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Had an incredibly difficult time staying focused. Both I and IG had to rescue my attention repeatedly and after not more than 2 seconds. It was getting very frustrating and embarrassing eventually.
Then I saw this woman VERY clearly initially, her face was incredibly clear. She was sitting (maybe a wheelchair? or just chair, not sure) with a ‘charcoal colored’ whole head, for some reason, that color name even came through. It looked odd, a sort of curious color flatness
Read the full article at Sierpienta
http://www.palyne.com/blog.psiche/sierpienta/
Posted by Palyne on 2012.04.11 Before I write about the Urantia book II part I wanted to talk a little about religion.
I have a bias about religion. It is this:
I find organized religion to be a Machiavellian control scheme, imposed via a collection of mostly bad mythological fiction, which is loosely based on some elements of facts, those which at this point nobody will ever have straight, and which are mostly if not completely irrelevant to an individual’s personal relationship with the divine inside them anyway.
I will add that under the umbrella of organized religion, untold numbers of individuals, both alone and collectively, have given more mercy, charity, faith, devotion, altruism and sacrifice and every other good thing, than any other umbrella mankind has ever had.
I have the utmost respect for anybody who is truly dedicated to what they perceive as bringing the divine of spirit farther into our world. To the degree this reflects anything I can recognize as sun-centered (love) philosophy or practice, I’m all for it, no matter what the details. To me, Christian or Catholic, Buddhist or Hindu, Sikh or Muslim, Mormon or Zen or Cabalist, or “independent mystic” as I would probably be labeled as, it is the personal relationship with God and what it brings to the inside of the human and their outside reality as a result, that I feel matters. Not the label or the detail.
To take something love-centered and then screw it up so profoundly as to leave a planet-wide lasting
Read the full article at On Religion
http://www.palyne.com/blog.psiche/on-religion/
Posted by Palyne on 2012.04.10 I was trying to meditate in a way to increase the light and reduce blockages and so forth. I had a variety of interesting mental models for approaching this, but either they were not so good, or I was just being ADD at that moment and couldn’t really hold on to any of them.
IG brought me Jupiter and I spent some time with Sun, hugging him and talking to him.
I had the sudden urge to try this while taking a shower. During that I ended up just focusing on whatever body part had the water hitting it, and imagining a typical cleansing, that I breathed in clean light and then as I exhaled, it pushed out any darkness.
It took on a life of its own. Normally this is a small and mild thing. Like a puff of coal dust or something. But all the sudden the darkness was more like a thick black oil, and in quantity no less, and sometimes in bulky shapes that I could almost feel leaving me and falling as if they would plop loudly on the floor of the tub and then wash down the drain. This got more and more pronounced as I did the entire body like this. I was impressed with how the imagination was doing this, but it had a greater autonomous-tangibility as well, more like a decent archmed. One area, had a ton but then I had to go back to it later yet again as I
Read the full article at Cleansing
http://www.palyne.com/blog.psiche/cleansing/
Posted by Palyne on 2012.04.10 Go ahead and laugh, I know that’s a helluva archetype definition. It’s not that generic of course–or I’d need to be immortal to deal with it all–it’s specific to my ‘resistance’ to getting my act together better, ‘allowing’ the Four, not harming myself with problem foods, the whole ball of wax that wraps up to “daily acts of devolution” you might say. This follows on my seeking lately for the answer to, Why did they die for me?
The real archetype I requested was “whatever you think is best, IG” but this based on the what’s wrong with me and why did they die for me ideas.
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IG brought me what I assumed was an archetype, but it was a person I felt, and the instant it was present I felt like she ‘brought me jesus’ and I just completely flipped out. Why I would even think this I don’t know! What a bizarre idea! She has never brought me any religious identity before, not ever. She’s brought me the planets and that’s the closest to anything ‘known’. But it felt like this was just a given the instant it was present.
I refused to see it, I mean I literally would not look at it though he was standing 2 feet in front of me. I ranted about him, at it. I was furious and angry and insisting I don’t want this religious crap and this is the same bogus BS that has imprisoned my people for millennia
Posted by Palyne on 2012.04.09 It was some time ago — a few days, internet time and weird sleep schedule means I can’t say better than that — that yet again I felt very strongly driven by the question:
Why did they die for me?
I mean the Four (well the other 3), in the crucifixion experience (The Crucifixion of the Trinity). It keeps “recurring” that this “symbol” which has such powerful, bawling emotion for me, so many times now even rereading it or sometimes even thinking about it in passing, is something I need to understand. And the last time this came through as something very important for me was when I was really with the Four a lot and it seemed to clearly come from that exposure.
I went to google search and into my head came the word “COPTIC.” Almost audibly. So I typed in that, and it was no surprise that eventually I ended up at the same old gnostic docs which are the only other place I have ever seen reference to the 4, the 12, and so on.
I skimmed some of it again. It’s still confusing. There is the 4, then the 12, and I get those, especially with the whole thing about one of them being ‘hidden away’ and the 4 having shown me as ‘panels of light’ and so on, but in these materials those 4 and 12 are like cosmic, definitely not personal. There are below
Read the full article at Urantia, Book I
http://www.palyne.com/blog.psiche/urantia-book-i/
Posted by Palyne on 2012.04.06 For two days I felt longing for Dominon The Larger. One of the several who, after the meditation where they all got with the angelic light-being of my body — and not me, pointedly — has had zero contact with me. I even tried, shortly after that, to reach them. They were so much easier than the consortium Aeons for some reason, so powerful, until then. But nothing. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t pretty put out about it. I know I was having some symptoms of the overload of their energy and all, but still.
Yet I knew when his attention had returned to me, I just woke up longing for him, which is basically him calling me; it’s not just an intellectual thing on my part, it’s more an energy awareness inside. My sex drive ramped up massively the minute his energy stepped in, even so mildly. It has never before occurred to me to wonder if maybe people with unusually high sex drives might just be more connected with certain elements of self which are very powerful with all their chakras, including that one. For example I think if I were not already aging, fat, and busy with a sedentary job, that when their energy is present I would be vastly more “physical” and “experiential” life-wide.
Finally had a couple days of quality time, some dedicated to him, that seems to have dealt with it. I have some positive leftover effect from his attention, I
Posted by Palyne on 2012.04.05 ~ 5:10am central 05-April-2012 Thursday
Man this just occurred to me out of nowhere.
Senior has come across as that race of human-aliens who are ‘vaguely red’ and ‘vaguely asian’. (In dreams, he comes across as black, sometimes negro-black but also sometimes black like a chess piece.) His symbolic colors, though, are red and black. Does that… does that relate?
So the 3rd, his polarity, his color in symbol is white, he would be… white and blue. And come to think of it, he comes across as the human-alien with white-blonde hair and super-blue eyes. OMG. Is that an incredible coincidence?? Is it some archetypal level pattern manifest??
Well the queen’s symbols (so far that I get) are gold (color/metal) and the torus and an eagle (and I suspect from a vision, and a dream, and a ref I found, also bats as kind of the ‘underside’ of that eagle energy). She comes across as the pre-egyptian woman with the long head and in various symbols, of course, gold in various ways (golden cloak so bright I couldn’t look at it, golden bird, golden chains, golden rope, golden sarcophagus, and I suspect egyptian for the association with golden jewelry and so on? Total ‘Isis’ symbolism of course which for us, is Egyptian). But I don’t hear anybody ever talking about Egyptian stuff related to the ‘contact’ stuff, hmmn, so I guess this element seems uninvolved.
These symbols I perceive with them are … they’re geometry and spiritual. They’re part of
Posted by Palyne on 2012.04.03 
I just reached into the center, to the ‘core of light’ of the arch and grabbed it and connected to it and poured energy in to expand it, and it kind of just exploded off and there she was. She’d been like inside it.
Posted by Palyne on 2012.04.01 This morning I was dreaming. “I’m going to wake up soon,” I observed to myself. “This normal world here, seems like a dream from there. Before I wake up, I should get a better look at all this.” So I ‘lifted’ my perception from the area in front of a (regular, as far as I know) house I was standing in front of, up into the air and kept rising, looking. I was near the top of a paved street which was a hill, lined by houses, and as I rose up over the neighborhood and farther out could see how it shaded into a city, I marveled at how freaking detailed and real it all was. Just as real, I have observed more than once when getting lucid, as the reality is where I type this in my blog. In those worlds, this reality is the dream.
Read the full article at Dream Worlds
http://www.palyne.com/blog.psiche/dream-worlds/
Posted by Palyne on 2012.03.31 
I was in the middle of a dream where I was talking with someone about a certain energy. It was many things at once including a number and a tarot card and so on. I looked at the card. A male human was on it, with a sense of being a ‘crucifixion’-”style” pose and something about the legs or feet slightly crossed. It was dominantly yellows with the other dominant color being greens. Then I thought to myself, “Hey, you’re dreaming about a tarot card! This is important, you gotta remember this!” and I was awake. Nice bit of lucidity alarm clock.
Posted by Palyne on 2012.03.29 So me and Ith are doing this and I end up imagining ‘all the blocks we have’ in a circle around us, that went above our heads and below our feet and up the sides. Although I was completely oblivious consciously to this color at the time, I realized later, and even still I feel it, that the big perfect circle shape was a medium-blue (and I feel that I felt it then, just wasn’t paying attention). … When people marry with fierce attraction and later have none, might it be that they ‘successfully integrated’? So the chemistry between them is gone? They might as well be siblings then. … Lately I have to almost be careful what I think about. In my head is quiet “intuition conversation” about anything, as well as everything from ‘shapes’ that translate to meaning to actual visuals and concepts. … I’ve just reinvented some a combination of the celtic circle cross, the masonic/occult rose cross, and the native american zia (‘four-rayed sun’). …
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Reality = Physiology = Psychology = Spirituality = Cosmology = Geometry = Number = Sound = Form There is no difference.  Posts  Comments Identity is an arbitrary collection of consciousness assigned a title. My work is not just study; it's prayer, it's mental techniques, it's life habits. It's not just about inner worlds; discipline and physical environment matter. It's not just spiritual; my body and world is part of it. It's not just esoteric; everything corresponds integrally — the mundane, the arcane, the divine. It's not just an '-ology'; my own identity, body, reality, psyche is key to it all. The only tenets of truth I hold are based on personal experience.This effort has spanned my life, but not until ~1994 did it become intentional, not 'til late '00s did it become fairly 'serious'. I've gone through many models and philosophies over time, but now I've none except what experience teach me. I am ever the student, but I've reached a point of "fluency" and "internal guidance" where I don't care about labels or other peoples' paradigms.
CATEGORIES on this blog are extensive and nested. Most everything that matters or repeats much has a category.
The TAGS are just minor notes of reference trivia. They are usually a rare experience, or an observation about something I read.
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