I have found that:
  • → sincere prayer
  • → genuine intentions
  • → present-focus
  • → extended humor
  • → careful integrity
  • → constant work to discover and release all forms of bias in oneself
  • → dogged effort to pursue awareness, divine guidance and understanding
Leads a person to "interactive insight from the inside."

~~~
Consciously I want to evolve.
My ego resists strenuously.
I surreally "forget" so much!
So I blog for myself, mostly:
to re-read and remember.
~~~

People ask me where to begin with the complexity of the stuff on my blog. But my imaginal and related work spans 25 years as of 2016. So the real answer is "I don't know." I can't put all that in a sound bite. And one would have to understand, not just intellectually but experientially, a lot of it from start to middle to begin to understand where I am now. It is 'active imagination' work, resting on an extremely 'open' definition of archetype and energy, mapped at times to various occult patterns because they seem useful and otherwise just loosely personal; but that's not all. Short of how the blog speaks for itself that's about all I can say about it. It's a path I've built myself, for one. ~ Palyne


In the human spirit, as in the universe, nothing is higher or lower; everything has equal rights to a common center which manifests its hidden existence precisely through this harmonic relationship between every part and itself.
-- Goethe


Angels transcend every religion, every philosophy, every creed. In fact angels have no religion as we know it... their existence precedes every religious system that has ever existed on earth.
-- St. Thomas Aquinas

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In the beginning all was indivisible. And in becoming manifest, it became, seemingly, divisible. But the divisions must evolve to recognize themselves, and each other, and to then accept themselves, to truly know themselves by knowing each other. To begin, they are blended, confused; it is chaos, it is legion. They are all on the journey to indivisibility, to singularity, to the I AM. The point, of course, is not the destination, but the journey.

-- insight during the Princess of Disks meditation

Spiritual growth is like all other types: you absorb seemingly 'other' energy, and it becomes part of your own sense of identity. The growth is in awareness, and with that comes power which is always over Self.
Diversity is Legion;
Singularity is the I AM.
None of this is new although my approach to it is my own. -- Palyne



Inner Guide is Angelic. She is free of anything akin to doctrine. I call her an Angel because that is the only word I have for it, and because I know, all the way through me, that this is our word for her fundamentally divine nature. Aside from that, I don’t even know what she IS exactly, or what it means, or where it would fit into any model. She is life sized, soul wide, colors and gems and flowers and songs, everything beautiful that ever was, condensed into an identity I am completely in love with–except she feels like part of me too, so it’s like also being in love with yourself, and also with God, and also with the whole universe, both every tiny thing in your mundania, and ‘awareness’ as something so utterly, mind-bogglingly amazing — how could this exist? How could this not exist? How could I ever understand such a thing? — I am left only with joy, with awe.
-- on Inner Guide #4, aka 'Sedaena'. The first IG I had genuine conversation (and reading) with; the first real sign of my HGA.

He is so much inside and outside me, larger than me and yet the light of the tiniest particles of me, I don’t even have a word for whatever it is that he IS. I call him angelic and inner guide and the name he gave me because I have no idea what else to call this. It’s a Being and a Thing and an Event and a Place and a Relationship and… it’s like there is no label that is remotely big enough to encompass whatever it IS.
-- on Inner Guide #5, aka 'Mark.'


The boundary between the imaginational and imaginal is rather fuzzy and it is a developed skill and art to learn to stay there; to maintain your own autonomy while allowing the-others’ autonomy; to be shocked, astounded, grossed out, effused, and other surprise emotions from the interaction; all this without getting lost in the experience like a dream, yet also without pulling back to controlling the experience like a daydream. The former is being swept away by the river, and the latter is standing on the shore thinking about it; learning to walk the fine line of control and allowance to stay in that ‘imaginal realm’ actually takes practice. Crazy people think it’s all autonomous and happening ‘to’ them; people unable to allow this for themselves, may think it’s all imagination; and they’d both be right, because they are both lost; the goal is a whole world that bridges and encompasses both of those.

-- on "Interworlds Meditation"


Q: Where are you now?

Me: Well, back in my own reality.

Q: Wrong. You are in a reality version that distraction and denial have made for you.

Me: How do I get out?

Q: Wrong question. There is no space, there is no time. Where are you again?

Me: Oh. I’m wherever I "pay attention" to being.

Q: Right. You PAY attention. It is the currency of your soul. You rent your reality. Never forget that. The choice to move is yours.




Dealing with the unconscious has become a question of life for us.
The play of the imagination is incalculable.
~ Carl Jung

The imaginary can be innocuous, the imaginal never can.
~ Henry Corbin

A calling may be postponed, avoided, intermittently missed. It may also possess you completely. Whatever; eventually it will out. It makes its claim. The daimon does not go away.
~ James Hillman

There comes a time when the mind takes a higher plane of knowledge but can never prove how it got there.
-- Albert Einstein


ABOUT ME


This blog documents much of my work in the "inter-worlds" of a greater-self. It's not just esoteric: every thing corresponds — the mundane, the arcane, the divine. If it had to be summed up you might say it is "a universe of personalization." A strange place where monotheism and ultimate-pantheism are one and the same.

I am a natural mystic, if spontaneous experiences determine such a thing. I am not religious in any way; only guidance from the inside drives me. No identities or models unless they are introduced to me from the inside. (Sometimes I use them simply for interest, or because their models are convenient doorways -- but I accept none of their doctrines.) I briefly studied theology at one point, independently (I consider constant prayer a valid part of edu too), and where it led me was "anywhere-else." It's fine for others of course. I consider the heart of free will to be that everyone has their own road. Or as Heinlein once wrote, the right to go to hell in their own handbasket.

This tends to make me obsessed with the divine yet not religious at all, in any form, which is often confusing to onlookers. I am ever in love with and in closer pursuit of integration with The Christ (which I consider a solar-planetary deity, exceeding and preceding all possible religion, though cyclically present within our species) but I'm not remotely a modern Christian, and this also tends to be very confusing to onlookers. I'm a student of archetypes and pattern systems, yet not a jungian intellectual - armchair philosophy bores me - nor a power occultist - which has its own issues (and uniforms) to say the least.

After nearly two decades of certain experiences I felt alone with and thought were unique to me, it turns out I find some harmony in the gnostic writings. I didn't get it from there, and am not fond of that doctrine and the paradigms it came in with, so I ignore it. Which means despite talking about just a few things specific to it (by unknowing accident until a few years ago), I'm not part of that model either.

The road I walk is my own. It doesn't really have an easy label or anybody else on it, that I can see. This is between me and God, so it doesn't really need to work for anybody else. I used to wish I wasn't the only person with such experiences or practices, and started a blog in part in the hope I might find others with something similar. Maybe a need for community. I'm over that now, at least I think. I walk alone, but Light is with me. Can't ask for more than that.

-- Palyne


When we understand that perception is as much about source as target; that energy is a spectrum and best psi perception comes from the center, its balance and blend; that the manifest communication of our Selves is the literal 'reality' we experience; that everything in that reality is a profound 3D language element; that insight with the ‘center’ of spectrum is likely to be via the language-symbols of 'reality;' that these need to be interpreted at the level they are received; this is the path for intentional psi.
-- Insight on the Art of RV

Mental Models: The Sword

So… need to work out some mental model ways of using Sierpienta on… energy issues.

I asked for it. It leaps to my hands (and back to case) instantly without me having to “intentionally visualize” getting it out of the case, that’s nice. Case instantly forms sheath, when needed, too. Almost as if “it’s helping” and it’s not entirely me doing all the imaginative work. In archmeds this is normal mind you — it’s a “walking the line” thing of careful control/allow — but in most other things, regular work in eyes-open mode you might say, the visualization effort is all mine. Curious, the feeling reminds me a little of “Dor,” a previous thoughtform-entity I worked with once upon a time.

I asked if it would size itself really small for finer use. It was willing to go as small as an oversized stiletto for me, same dimensions smaller scale but still about 2′ long, but that’s it. It felt like it ‘wobbled’ trying to keep an energy form below that scale, as if ‘sword’ is actually part of its inherent definition.

I looked over at the golden statue of the Four last night (which sits in the middle of my incense tray. It’s a large white wooden tray that is held on this flat ‘TV Monitor’ wall arm I used to use for something else.) and it’s as if it were ever so slightly glowing and pulsing and misting, especially the top 3 layers which I feel are three layers of energy/worlds that are projected down/out into the Four of us. (Or perhaps it is the other 3 identities that our combination creates. I don’t know.) This is an extra and a new element, since I have to consciously visualize it, I didn’t add that! I wasn’t sure if that’s some quality the Senior’s attention lent it, or if having it in a nice place and looking at it more often is helping, or if the increase in ajna energy was just giving it some extra oomph. I was impressed that there was something besides my effort that seemed involved.

As for the sword. It is alive. I mean it’s a creature, an entity, it just isn’t biological (as if anything in the ‘inner world’ is biological!). That’s why it has a name, apparently. It’s like, the energy is utterly focused on sword-ness. Not as small as an elemental. Not as infinite-yet-focused as a number. But within the realm of anything that could be addressed via sword, absolutely the full spectrum and power of that. Words are difficult with this topic because it is subtle yet still a sense.

It feels as if… well I once said I realized that even inanimate objects sort of have a destiny/purpose and that ‘hoarding’ them — meaning, storing and not using them–was an injustice of a sort, that on some level of consciousness they long to fulfill their purpose, even though they are not autonomous or even aware in the normal sense. I feel with this sword that it MUST be used sometimes. That it is a living energy that would not settle for being ignored. That it is ‘aware’ not like a regular identity/entity but much moreso than an object.

And, while I am hallucinating and being completely anthropomorphic about it — because anything worth doing, is worth overdoing, apparently — I feel that the sword perceives how I feel about it, and how I feel with it, as if we are sort of ‘joined’ in a way when I am holding it. So if I am feeling strong, or angry, or scared, that it has some “awareness” of this, and its own ‘behavior’ might even be affected by this in some fashion. I know this sounds SO ridiculous.

Sierpienta especially with the spanish lilt seems obviously like the spanish word for ‘serpent’ and the fact that it’s so deeply black (that’s really a “magical” effect, not normal) with the two-serpent-coil gleaming silver near the top of the hilt, seems to emphasize that. Just a wild guess, maybe it is like the senior’s area of energy of the kundalini or something.

I once had an interesting dream with the Four about an ancient battle axe with a kind of sentience quality, though in that case, the sense was that its identity was actually a part of a person’s, like it had ‘become part of him’ and his own consciousness was lent to the thoughtform that became part of it. So awakening the axe brought the person back into another … incarnation. They had both been in a sort of stasis before that, as if intentionally.

I have the feeling that IG is pleased with me being somewhat intrigued and wanting to work with the sword. Of course, any sense that IG is pleased  makes ME pleased.

Thinking on paper: ideas for mental models that could use a sword for visualization

Using things I have noted to meditate on already…

My ‘resistance to spiritual evolution’? And resistance to any number of other things including ‘novel information and communication’ and ‘resistance to release of inharmonic energies’ or ‘resistance to full integration with LaeLee’ or whatever… where resistance are cords that could be cut, maybe.

‘Very large/dense energy collections that need to be dealt with’ could possibly be sliced up and dealt with piecemeal.

Aspects of me which are in ‘the most’ resistance to evolution with divine will currently could be… ah… chopping off heads does not seem good… maybe ‘deflated’ with a puncture, then the energy cleaned, separated, and reabsorbed via solar plexus? Held at swordpoint and threatened to submit to divine will via my will right this instant OR ELSE?

I mean I’m kind of ambivalent, part of me feels like — well I think that is Senior’s energy — it is rather merciless in this regard, and it IS a sword after all… but then again he’s the one who made it clear to me once that killing anything part of you was pointless and more trouble than doing something constructive with it (about ‘bugs’ in a med). And I remember “don’t shoot the archetypes!!” with nearly every one of my Aeons yelling at me at once, the one time that something frightened me and I instantly flashed into having a big machine gun in my hands. Yet he is the one who sensed an aspect/guide once that was not in accordance with Our Will and basically just annihilated it and sucked the energy into the SP. I was so shocked at the time. So I guess I’m not sure of the detail here.

Part of me thinks it’s all love and light and as the queen said, you can’t defeat an enemy by sending more of the same energy back at it, you have to heal the darkness that created it to begin with, the energy it is carrying ‘for’ you if it’s in your reality. Another part of me thinks that both the 3rd and the 1st present as commanders and even soldier-commanders in the case of the 3rd and that this kind of martial energy is part of us. (Technically I think it’s fair to say that they represent their tarot attributions fairly well, of the wands and swords, the 3rd is the swords.)

What about the knighting-element of swords? Maybe calling good things I want more of and ‘knighting’ them to give them more power and recognition?

Aside from ‘cutting through resistance’, perhaps I could also cut through ‘attachment’ to things I don’t want to be so connected to, with whatever kind of attachment-form my mind wanted to symbolize for me, I’m sure the sword could creatively take care of all of them.

Maybe I should google something about uses for swords. I’m tempted to think that in the old days, these guys carried around these super heavy swords, and they didn’t have a whole helluva lot else frankly, except sometimes a horse and a water skin and a bag for coin and a cloak and maybe a bootknife. So by its nature you’d think that swords would end up being ‘the hammer’ for everything because it’s nearly all they had for long periods in travel.

[Edit added 02May2012: used it as a ‘reflecting concentrating’ thing where I sent energy to it and it reflected it into laser-like intensity and focus and I used it to point at something.]

What about physical stuff, I wonder if this would work well in a Tek med, since that is really just energy in the working?

Speaking of physical. If… reality is symbol… if visualization can carry intent… if recognizing reality as symbol makes it more effectively dealt with as such (as I was once told about feng shui, in ‘time is a weave, not a wheel‘)… I wonder if visualizing using the sword on actual elements of reality would work. Like slay something broken, just the ‘broken’ sense?

I guess technically one could ask for a symbolic visualization of any energy that was really problematic and address it with the sword, but then you get back into the philosophy. So you chopped it in half or whacked off its head, then what? Now you have two pieces instead of one is all, and maybe far worse energy from your “shooting it only makes it stronger” behavior (ref: The 5th Element movie).

Maybe it could be used to intentionally ‘battle’ with things one has an issue with, (“OnGuard!”) as a form of archmed working in a way. I remember the arch that nearly took my head off. IG had given me centurion-style gear but I was literally ignoring it (I am starting to realize what a huge resistance I have) when I had to duck and run and get it on me so I could fight back. It was thanks to Jared stepping in that I was able to fight decently finally and got the arch guy down to pour energy into him. Anyway — that worked, that is “interaction with the energy” and any interaction — even talking to something — is helpful. Fighting them is ok if it leads to something else, basically any “interaction” is ok if it leads to rapport–killing them is definitely not.

I’m feeling a bit uncreative. Like there must be a lot of other options for this but I’m just not thinking of them.

Today was a helluva day at work. One of those “we just discovered that 16 months of products have a situation that was never a problem before, but is now, retroactively for one year due to a software change, and you gotta fix all the products. And since you manage all these products, it’s your fault.” I feel like leaping from a ledge into cool water and then sleeping forever which is generally a sign it stresses me out haha. And my lawn people showed up weeks earlier than a project was planned saying hey, we have the time so you better take it now. So I have no money really as I don’t even have enough for them, but I’m going to take enough out to go out to a cheap dinner tonight just so I can get the heck out of the house and away from my computer and try to decompress. I just got off when I started writing this, and I feel like running for my life.

P

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