I slept poorly. Tossed and turned. I had one of those dreams it seems like you can’t find your way out of, and you wake up, or half wake up, but you just keep falling back into it. By morning you feel exhausted from it.
In the dream me and some other people, we should have been free, and together, it felt like we were family. But someone, a bad guy, was keeping us prisoner. Each of us had a space in the house or building (which in retrospect felt more like a smallwarehouse, anyway one big open long room), and we were separated by what seemed like “lines of power.” Like lasers except ‘clear’ instead of colored, but you could see them if you got the proper angle on light. They were all vertical but slightly slanted, for some reason. They surrounded each of us like a prison, and we could not escape “our separate spaces.”
There was a little girl there. He released her and had her return to us with some object for each of us that would continue our imprisonment. She seemed happy to do this, and I resented that she was supposed to be on our side, yet seemed in league with the bad guy.
So after I’d been up awhile I thought: wasn’t this what I was thinking of recently? That I need to ‘dive into myself’ with Inner Guide right after I have an abreaction, or in this case a dream, and say, let’s work on this energy. Just do things along the way, as life occurs. Instead of once in awhile having some big official meditation on some big official thing, just learning to address the energies that flow through me as soon as I can, on the fly, without it having to be any big production.
***
I focused on bringing the Four, and the Consortium, to me and told IG I’d like to work on this like an archetype. I thought she would do something, like bring me an archetype or whatever as normal, but she reminded me that it WAS a ‘symbol’ already, and suggested I work with what I had. She brought me all the planets as well.
So I brought up, first, the ‘bad guy’. I asked him why he did that to us, and he said that my behavior forced that. As if I had misbehaved. A little more conversation made it clear that he felt intensely threatened by the ‘assimilation of energy and identity’ that I’ve been doing for a long time now, and these were fairly major components that I had not yet absorbed yet, so he was making sure that could not happen.
I used his own ‘lines of power’ concept and put us both in a small ring. I didn’t feel he could hurt me, and I was thinking of the recent info about how we don’t really change anything ‘else’, we merely “share” our enthusiasm for “transition” so they will shift to alignment with us. (You could almost think of it, I suppose, like a gravitational field. See all this cosmology is affecting me.)
So I went to him and kissed his neck from behind and whispered to him about how I wanted him to join me and how it was so wonderful to be completed inside and all sorts of other seduction efforts, at the same time I was running rain, sun, wind, chem of love over both of us, and finally I felt he was more… ‘amenable’ and vulnerable you might say.
I asked IG to ‘weave’ us together and she did. Then I went to the house/building and went to the first person, a man on the right, and I disabled all the lines of power imprisoning him, and I walked into his space, and he walked into me, and I got a really incredible rush, that went on for quite some time. I felt that this not only affected me, but affected the energy I was woven with as well. Then we went to the other side and released a female, and merged, but the merge was very small. There was one in the middle a bit farther on, and we released that, and merged, and that was so-so, but still some rush. Back to the right, another male, and the merge was much more powerful. Across the way to the left, another female, and another really minor rush.
I wondered why it seemed to be associated with the male/female. And why those in the middle didn’t seem to have a gender I could place. Sort of both. I wondered if this was something like the two lines of kundalini and a center. Another in the center, another male on the right, and then the last person, female, at the far back left. She, however, gave a really good rush that went all the way through the body, lots and lots down around the waist and hips and back, and somehow I had the feeling the intensity of it was partly because she was what somehow allowed the others I’d already absorbed, to then release themselves to it.
I noticed that the ‘pattern’ they had been in — it was rather like the tree of life, part of it. 3 on each side, 2 in the middle. Then I thought maybe the male/female/both was the three pillars. I wasn’t sure what that meant, even if they were in that layout. I don’t know much about the QBL stuff.
I wondered, during the merging processes, if this related somehow to chakras. That’s the main thing I am feeling rather blocked from lately and that I had only just begun an integration with as identities. Who knows.
When this was over, I went to the little girl and told her it was not appropriate to help separate us, and I merged with her, and her with everything else, and with the main guy I was woven with. I took the ‘remote controls’ used for the prison tech, the objects she’d had, merged them together, stripped off the concept and form from them, gave the energy to the 3 and dissolved the concept.
Then I bundled the entire ‘house and landscape of the dream’ into a more concise bundle and merged with it. Got a decent rush from that.
I had IG un-weave us. I whispered to the dream-symbol/archetype bad guy about how we would always have a part of each other now, and I knew he belonged within me along with everybody else (there is something hilariously risque about that, I know. Maybe that is the concept behind Babalon…) and asked him to voluntarily join me, which he did. Minor rush for that.
And that was it! Now, it doesn’t seem like a big deal or anything and it didn’t take very long. But all the combined merge-rushing from that is more than I’ve had from several archmeds combined. I don’t think that happens if there isn’t some legitimate energy work going on. So no matter how… simple, and totally conscious, and brief, it may have been, I feel that indicates it was good for something.
Seth used to say that nothing is ever secret from us, hidden, or inaccessible. I feel like, if I regularly do this with my dreams, and with abreactions, that my subconscious is likely to give me more feedback, and I can ‘deal with’ stuff right up top.
P
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