Lifemeds: Work

I had an interaction with a coworker last night that made me realize I don’t do enough archmeds on my reality. (‘Interaction with a coworker’? Who talks like that?? I’ve been brainwashed by corporatism!)

I can’t figure out what it is about this guy… I’ve nothing against him, and I generally get along fabulously with everyone I work with. I have four planets in Virgo for godssakes, I live to serve, work is the primary area this really shows, people LIKE me there generally, with incredibly rare exceptions (usually in people who desperately did not want to work for a living and I threatened their self-protective sloth) over the last ~25 years.

He works hard, he knows what he’s doing, it seems like everything oughtta go great with us. But every time I interact with this guy directly — just a few times now, half a dozen maybe — it ends up blowing up in my face.

It doesn’t matter how much work I do or how well, it doesn’t matter how competent I am in how many areas, it seems like there will always be some circumstance where I make some genuine mistake–something stupid, but small, and something I would find on my own before long usually, we’re talking stuff like “wrong path on a link in a page in a website” — something SMALL — but this or something barely related will set him off, and before it’s over he has managed to comment on this stupid mistake in some crazy long email thread, all of which my boss AND my boss’s boss are copied on. In other words, it’s not merely that if I make any mistake no matter how small it will turn out to fall right in HIS line of fire; it’s that this will get slammed into my bosses’ faces and then ground in there on and on and on. And it’s usually something really stupid on my part, though not critical. Usually there is some element where he is wrong or in the wrong as well, which always actually makes it worse since this merely makes it go ON and ON yet more, and then he’s defensive on top of it.

I can actually feel it underneath. It feels like there is some problem between us and the minute my energy touches him there is some kind of “wrestling for control.”  He reacts to it instantly and profoundly. I don’t generally react too much but the fact that all this is IN my reality demonstrates that it’s a mutual problem. I swear this guy is going to end up unemploying me over something as retarded as a hangnail at this rate.

So I sat down to talk with IG about it. I told her I wanted to work on whatever the ‘problematic’ energy was between me and him, plus any problem energy between me and my boss and me and my boss’s boss, both of whom always get dragged into these little dramas.

I asked if I should bring in other archs to help. IG brought me all nine planets (incl sun and moon) and I hugged everyone. I felt very positive through this yet did not perceive any of them hardly at all and got no merging from the hugging. I waited for IG to do whatever and spaced out but brought myself back. I had recently eaten (carbs alas) and was a little wired.

Eventually, I find myself in this super tall chair. Like 3 stories high just a single chair. I’m looking out into the far, far distance and she indicates that there should be something there which… gets my attention. I almost had the feeling like, ‘what’s wrong with this picture?’

So I’m looking for awhile and I catch myself having just thought, “Well there is really nothing unusual there at all, except that little thing leaping into the air repeatedly in the middle trying to get my attention.” Swear to god this is what I realized I had just told myself, after which I had concluded I didn’t see anything at all!  If I had a brain I’d be dangerous!

I want to go to it but for whatever reason that seems impractical. So I leave my body in the chair and send a ‘lite’ version of me way over to what seemed the edge of a city, where I find what at first I thought was a bunny but turned out to be a big frog. I am not making this up. If I were making it up, it’d be less stupid. I determined to just “go with it” and not be judgement and you know what, just have FUN, and if it’s silly, so what? Who’s that gonna hurt, if I have some meditation in my head that is ridiculous? So I decide officially in myself, “I will work with the frog.”

At that point I had the sudden, intense memory and intense emotion of a news story from years ago, as if it literally just crashed into me like a tidal wave. There was this nice older man who created a tiny ‘shelter’ for cats and was a one-man keeper. Many of them had lived there with him for years and had the free run of the place.  Some other guy, a young man, had a wild hair one night, picked up something like a sawed off baseball bat, broke into this little place, and tried to kill all the cats violently, clubbed many to death, some horribly maimed, brained or injured, only missed a few I think. It was a big news story. His family was like, “Oh, they’re just cats.” (Can someone please remove these evil morons from the gene pool before they breed any further?? For godssakes!!) In the end, a judge gave him something like 31 days, one day for each cat.  I’m not sure there has ever in my whole life been a news story that so enraged me — about the situation, the person, the public response, the legal response. Sure, I can look at that and say, “This person either has a serious genetic defect or their parents have seriously screwed them up.” It doesn’t matter.  Intense, generally homicidal emotion is invoked in me by all of it. I had forgotten about this but there it was suddenly, as if all that emotion and the situation were just dumped on me. I don’t know what this or its energies have to do with my coworker!–who seems a normal guy, from afar, never met him in person.

I had to literally bleed myself of the emotion and focus and let it go and then turn back to the meditation.

Which suddenly seemed so ABSURD — so hilarious and Disney and “lighthearted” that I decided to just go with it, you know? To just really pour myself into it, not be so serious all the time, and if I find myself in something silly like a children’s story then have FUN with it already!  So I did.

“Why hello froggy!” I say with a huge grin. “Can I do something for you?”  I make a tall chair and set him on it so I can look at him more directly.

“I should like to be a prince, best,” he says, in exactly the phrasing that makes me realize he is paraphrasing a quote from Lewis Carroll’s Through the Looking Glass that I used as a chapter heading in Bewilderness Ch17. The quote is: “It’s all a great huge game of chess that’s being played — all over the world — if this is the world at all, you know… I wouldn’t mind being a Pawn, if only I might join — though of course I should like to be a Queen, best.”

“Well, I dunno for sure what I can do here but I’ll work on it for ya,” I say, amused. I put my hands on him, and then go behind him and do that and pour energy from me into him and ‘grow him out’ — legs, knees, shins, feet, etc.

As I did, I could hear in my head real quiet, as if it were a sub-part of me I wasn’t really directing, saying, ‘…strong thighs to carry you through long battles, and flexible knees to adapt to whatever comes your way, and…’ in the background for every part. Then I grew his hips (the comment in the pelvic region was funny) and all the way up until he was full fleshed and complete. (You will not be surprised to know that I made him look like how I perceive the 3rd.)

I came around the front of the chair and gave him a hug and said, “There you are!” and I added, “Um… is there something you’d like to do now?” and he says, “Are you kidding? I can do anything! I’m a PRINCE!” and he turns from me and goes leaping and skipping off away.

Ok… so I ported my ‘lite’ body back to the rest of me in the tall chair. Unfortunately, before I had the chance to talk with IG and see what came next, because surely something had to come next! — there was no merging, and it was all just weird! — I passed out — blood sugar reaction to the carbs in this case, not denial, at least as far as I know.

Now I’m embarrassed to have to write that down. I haven’t the foggiest idea how some bozo clubbing cats and some fairytale-like frog relate to the problem energies in question — let alone together! But you take what you get, I suppose! I know I should do more on this but it’ll have to get in line behind the 8 bazillion other meds I need to do.

P