I have found that:
  • → sincere prayer
  • → genuine intentions
  • → present-focus
  • → extended humor
  • → careful integrity
  • → constant work to discover and release all forms of bias in oneself
  • → dogged effort to pursue awareness, divine guidance and understanding
Leads a person to "interactive insight from the inside."

~~~
Consciously I want to evolve.
My ego resists strenuously.
I surreally "forget" so much!
So I blog for myself, mostly:
to re-read and remember.
~~~

People ask me where to begin with the complexity of the stuff on my blog. But my imaginal and related work spans 25 years as of 2016. So the real answer is "I don't know." I can't put all that in a sound bite. And one would have to understand, not just intellectually but experientially, a lot of it from start to middle to begin to understand where I am now. It is 'active imagination' work, resting on an extremely 'open' definition of archetype and energy, mapped at times to various occult patterns because they seem useful and otherwise just loosely personal; but that's not all. Short of how the blog speaks for itself that's about all I can say about it. It's a path I've built myself, for one. ~ Palyne


In the human spirit, as in the universe, nothing is higher or lower; everything has equal rights to a common center which manifests its hidden existence precisely through this harmonic relationship between every part and itself.
-- Goethe


Angels transcend every religion, every philosophy, every creed. In fact angels have no religion as we know it... their existence precedes every religious system that has ever existed on earth.
-- St. Thomas Aquinas

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In the beginning all was indivisible. And in becoming manifest, it became, seemingly, divisible. But the divisions must evolve to recognize themselves, and each other, and to then accept themselves, to truly know themselves by knowing each other. To begin, they are blended, confused; it is chaos, it is legion. They are all on the journey to indivisibility, to singularity, to the I AM. The point, of course, is not the destination, but the journey.

-- insight during the Princess of Disks meditation

Spiritual growth is like all other types: you absorb seemingly 'other' energy, and it becomes part of your own sense of identity. The growth is in awareness, and with that comes power which is always over Self.
Diversity is Legion;
Singularity is the I AM.
None of this is new although my approach to it is my own. -- Palyne



Inner Guide is Angelic. She is free of anything akin to doctrine. I call her an Angel because that is the only word I have for it, and because I know, all the way through me, that this is our word for her fundamentally divine nature. Aside from that, I don’t even know what she IS exactly, or what it means, or where it would fit into any model. She is life sized, soul wide, colors and gems and flowers and songs, everything beautiful that ever was, condensed into an identity I am completely in love with–except she feels like part of me too, so it’s like also being in love with yourself, and also with God, and also with the whole universe, both every tiny thing in your mundania, and ‘awareness’ as something so utterly, mind-bogglingly amazing — how could this exist? How could this not exist? How could I ever understand such a thing? — I am left only with joy, with awe.
-- on Inner Guide #4, aka 'Sedaena'. The first IG I had genuine conversation (and reading) with; the first real sign of my HGA.

He is so much inside and outside me, larger than me and yet the light of the tiniest particles of me, I don’t even have a word for whatever it is that he IS. I call him angelic and inner guide and the name he gave me because I have no idea what else to call this. It’s a Being and a Thing and an Event and a Place and a Relationship and… it’s like there is no label that is remotely big enough to encompass whatever it IS.
-- on Inner Guide #5, aka 'Mark.'


The boundary between the imaginational and imaginal is rather fuzzy and it is a developed skill and art to learn to stay there; to maintain your own autonomy while allowing the-others’ autonomy; to be shocked, astounded, grossed out, effused, and other surprise emotions from the interaction; all this without getting lost in the experience like a dream, yet also without pulling back to controlling the experience like a daydream. The former is being swept away by the river, and the latter is standing on the shore thinking about it; learning to walk the fine line of control and allowance to stay in that ‘imaginal realm’ actually takes practice. Crazy people think it’s all autonomous and happening ‘to’ them; people unable to allow this for themselves, may think it’s all imagination; and they’d both be right, because they are both lost; the goal is a whole world that bridges and encompasses both of those.

-- on "Interworlds Meditation"


Q: Where are you now?

Me: Well, back in my own reality.

Q: Wrong. You are in a reality version that distraction and denial have made for you.

Me: How do I get out?

Q: Wrong question. There is no space, there is no time. Where are you again?

Me: Oh. I’m wherever I "pay attention" to being.

Q: Right. You PAY attention. It is the currency of your soul. You rent your reality. Never forget that. The choice to move is yours.




Dealing with the unconscious has become a question of life for us.
The play of the imagination is incalculable.
~ Carl Jung

The imaginary can be innocuous, the imaginal never can.
~ Henry Corbin

A calling may be postponed, avoided, intermittently missed. It may also possess you completely. Whatever; eventually it will out. It makes its claim. The daimon does not go away.
~ James Hillman

There comes a time when the mind takes a higher plane of knowledge but can never prove how it got there.
-- Albert Einstein


ABOUT ME


This blog documents much of my work in the "inter-worlds" of a greater-self. It's not just esoteric: every thing corresponds — the mundane, the arcane, the divine. If it had to be summed up you might say it is "a universe of personalization." A strange place where monotheism and ultimate-pantheism are one and the same.

I am a natural mystic, if spontaneous experiences determine such a thing. I am not religious in any way; only guidance from the inside drives me. No identities or models unless they are introduced to me from the inside. (Sometimes I use them simply for interest, or because their models are convenient doorways -- but I accept none of their doctrines.) I briefly studied theology at one point, independently (I consider constant prayer a valid part of edu too), and where it led me was "anywhere-else." It's fine for others of course. I consider the heart of free will to be that everyone has their own road. Or as Heinlein once wrote, the right to go to hell in their own handbasket.

This tends to make me obsessed with the divine yet not religious at all, in any form, which is often confusing to onlookers. I am ever in love with and in closer pursuit of integration with The Christ (which I consider a solar-planetary deity, exceeding and preceding all possible religion, though cyclically present within our species) but I'm not remotely a modern Christian, and this also tends to be very confusing to onlookers. I'm a student of archetypes and pattern systems, yet not a jungian intellectual - armchair philosophy bores me - nor a power occultist - which has its own issues (and uniforms) to say the least.

After nearly two decades of certain experiences I felt alone with and thought were unique to me, it turns out I find some harmony in the gnostic writings. I didn't get it from there, and am not fond of that doctrine and the paradigms it came in with, so I ignore it. Which means despite talking about just a few things specific to it (by unknowing accident until a few years ago), I'm not part of that model either.

The road I walk is my own. It doesn't really have an easy label or anybody else on it, that I can see. This is between me and God, so it doesn't really need to work for anybody else. I used to wish I wasn't the only person with such experiences or practices, and started a blog in part in the hope I might find others with something similar. Maybe a need for community. I'm over that now, at least I think. I walk alone, but Light is with me. Can't ask for more than that.

-- Palyne


When we understand that perception is as much about source as target; that energy is a spectrum and best psi perception comes from the center, its balance and blend; that the manifest communication of our Selves is the literal 'reality' we experience; that everything in that reality is a profound 3D language element; that insight with the ‘center’ of spectrum is likely to be via the language-symbols of 'reality;' that these need to be interpreted at the level they are received; this is the path for intentional psi.
-- Insight on the Art of RV

Knock Knock, Neo

Tonight when I began my meditation, I stopped in my outer ‘sacred space’, a high cliff desert plateau. I considered the ‘sense’ of my outer guides here and there around me. I wondered why it is I perceive them there. Are they always there? Do they have placeholders in case I show up? Does that space represent my more immediate time/space or energy fields where they are always present? And why can I not see them clearly?

At times in the past I’ve had experiences with them. A few times I’ve sort-of seen one or two. A couple times they’ve interacted with me and shown me something offbeat they said they wanted me to remember them by since I was both deaf and blind to them (only ‘sense’ got me that info), like ‘orange’ or ‘giant’. The only one that I ever saw with clarity was Brin. I was so stunned by HOW clearly I saw him, how unbelievably physically and in detail I saw him, that I spent most of the time gaping like a geek and re-re-exclaiming, “Oh my god! I can SEE you! I can see you so well!” as if it helped to say that 20 times.

I don’t know why I let him go that day, some time later. I’ve never had the urge to do that with any other guide. I like the idea of having a guide, someone I can see, and I wish I had another. I told Nero recently I want to see him better. At times I have seen him pretty well but not for quite awhile.

I once saw an outer guide pretty well who seemed like a young man. I asked him if he wanted to come into my inner guide meditation with me and he agreed. He seemed utterly blown away by it for some reason though. The next time I showed up to meditate, he had like 20 other people with him, and I had the overlay of like an edu thing, like he brought his whole college class or something. I let them come in with me to the inner space. That meditation didn’t go so well as it turns out, my fault not theirs. They were rowdy at first and I had to scold them to calm down a couple times but they did. Anyway, I’m not even sure what question I should be asking. Only that if guides exist–and as retarded as it sounds to my logical mind, they do seem to–then it seems like ‘awareness’ of this ought to provide some advantage. Like you could work with them better somehow, if you knew.

Anyway I pondered all the outer guides, wondering if there is something I am supposed to be DOing with them. Like is there some huge potential that I am missing, when I just go right past them every time I meditate? If there is no reason for them to be there, then why are they there? It seems like that ought to ‘mean’ something. Isn’t that the whole point after all — that everything ‘means’ something.

***

I’m having a lot of abreactions still. And I’m starting to forget stuff almost immediately after doing it, which makes blogging it even more important I guess. I must be working on stuff heavier duty than I realize.

I went to see IG but I didn’t know what I wanted to meditate on. I told her I’d rather like to do another med on the physiological component related to psi. But I spaced out a little while in front of her.

I came to abruptly when I heard this loud KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK. I opened my eyes–because it’s an audible sound like something in physical reality–but I realized that although it seemed like I “heard” it, that no, it was actually in my head. I remembered telling a friend recently who had that experience (it’s not that uncommon) that someone was knocking and the thing to do is to imagine opening the door.

So I opened a door in my imagination and this really big… um, person thing, came in. Very hard to articulate. A sense of person, of robot, of complexity, large. I said to IG, “Um…. so is this an archetype you would like me to deal with? I didn’t ask for it, so it came knocking?” She said yes.

I had a hard time doing much with it and couldn’t perceive it clearly. I decided I’m going to try using the geometric energy healing approach with the archs at times, since it worked so amazingly well for that impossibly tall red dragonish arch recently. I felt inside the arch as an ‘energy construct’ and I felt something many layers in that seemed like a problem.

When I got to it, it was a little different than these things usually feel. I think watching ‘The Matrix’ earlier today had another influence — anything visual-dynamic that I watch tends to filter into my meditations as part of the “imaginative toolset” I notice, but that’s fine — I didn’t feel like there was a block or a hook, I felt like there was a sort of metal implant. It had a long spike-like thing that went “into” the arch deeply. I followed it to its pointed end and dissolved it all the way back to where it ‘attached’ at the end of a tubular rod.

But inside the arch’s energy it was odd. It wasn’t like “empty” then as it normally is when you remove an energy hook. It was like it had its own thin metal ‘casing’ that the thing had fit into. So I had to dissolve that too, which was part of it, and get it fully out, and then go back yet again and get the energy to ‘heal and weave together’ from the bottom all the way to the top. It took a bit of time.

Then I got back to the ‘rod’ that it had been attached to. I had thought that it must be connected to someone else. I felt that it was and yet I hadn’t found the end. It was like an irrigation system or something, there were many offshoots of this thin metal piping that went all over, and each one with a special attachment that went deep down into the archetype, and for which the archetype itself had developed some kind of thin metal casing to hold.

It seemed like this was all just taking too long. So I gathered up all the energy I could and then just imagined powerfully doing it all at once, dissolving those long spiky things and and the adapters inside and healing everything. I had a nice energy rush while I was doing that. When finished I pulled a little on it and then let it ‘snap back’ to wherever it came from. Whatever source it was, was like a constant “drip irrigation” deeply rooted. I had the sense of all of it thwacking-back so hard it knocked someone over. That felt fairly satisfying. ;-)

I said to him, “I’m having constant abreactions but only in my right leg. The calf, the knee and thigh. None anywhere else. Why is it that I am reacting here to you?” And the arch said, “Why don’t you do a meditation on the archetype of your right leg.” I was dumbfounded. I never thought of meditating on a body part. And yet if our body is manifest energy, and a core part of us, and our memory and so on is throughout our body, then surely every part of the body is a primal part of us. Surely every part of our body has a great deal of symbolic and literal meaning.

When I was done I nearly lost focus for a bit but finally we traded. I gave him my heart, which in my hands felt like a vulnerable beating flower. He gave me his which felt like a powerful pumping strength. Then we merged. I hardly felt anything, but the fact I felt a “little” something is good on its own, and there was a bunch of feel earlier when working on him. So it was ok.

I’d like to do another archmed but literally, I came out of that one, and I could “feel it slipping away” from my memory. I’ve felt more of that lately. I mean even when I have good ones I often forget them entirely and if I didn’t occasionally look back in my blog, that would have been that. I have edited this post while writing to add in a ton of stuff I forgot as I was typing it out. I don’t know why but it seems like my level of denial has just amplified considerably. I want to be aware of that problem and compensate for it, help prevent myself doing that kind of thing. So I thought I would write it down and then go back to another med.

I’d like to work on something easier. It gets kind of difficult and demoralizing when everything I’m working on is hard!

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