I have found that:
  • → sincere prayer
  • → genuine intentions
  • → present-focus
  • → extended humor
  • → careful integrity
  • → constant work to discover and release all forms of bias in oneself
  • → dogged effort to pursue awareness, divine guidance and understanding
Leads a person to "interactive insight from the inside."

Consciously I want to evolve.
My ego resists strenuously.
I surreally "forget" so much!
So I blog for myself, mostly:
to re-read and remember.

People ask me where to begin with the complexity of the stuff on my blog. But my imaginal and related work spans 25 years as of 2016. So the real answer is "I don't know." I can't put all that in a sound bite. And one would have to understand, not just intellectually but experientially, a lot of it from start to middle to begin to understand where I am now. It is 'active imagination' work, resting on an extremely 'open' definition of archetype and energy, mapped at times to various occult patterns because they seem useful and otherwise just loosely personal; but that's not all. Short of how the blog speaks for itself that's about all I can say about it. It's a path I've built myself, for one. ~ Palyne

In the human spirit, as in the universe, nothing is higher or lower; everything has equal rights to a common center which manifests its hidden existence precisely through this harmonic relationship between every part and itself.
-- Goethe

Angels transcend every religion, every philosophy, every creed. In fact angels have no religion as we know it... their existence precedes every religious system that has ever existed on earth.
-- St. Thomas Aquinas

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In the beginning all was indivisible. And in becoming manifest, it became, seemingly, divisible. But the divisions must evolve to recognize themselves, and each other, and to then accept themselves, to truly know themselves by knowing each other. To begin, they are blended, confused; it is chaos, it is legion. They are all on the journey to indivisibility, to singularity, to the I AM. The point, of course, is not the destination, but the journey.

-- insight during the Princess of Disks meditation

Spiritual growth is like all other types: you absorb seemingly 'other' energy, and it becomes part of your own sense of identity. The growth is in awareness, and with that comes power which is always over Self.
Diversity is Legion;
Singularity is the I AM.
None of this is new although my approach to it is my own. -- Palyne

Inner Guide is Angelic. She is free of anything akin to doctrine. I call her an Angel because that is the only word I have for it, and because I know, all the way through me, that this is our word for her fundamentally divine nature. Aside from that, I don’t even know what she IS exactly, or what it means, or where it would fit into any model. She is life sized, soul wide, colors and gems and flowers and songs, everything beautiful that ever was, condensed into an identity I am completely in love with–except she feels like part of me too, so it’s like also being in love with yourself, and also with God, and also with the whole universe, both every tiny thing in your mundania, and ‘awareness’ as something so utterly, mind-bogglingly amazing — how could this exist? How could this not exist? How could I ever understand such a thing? — I am left only with joy, with awe.
-- on Inner Guide #4, aka 'Sedaena'. The first IG I had genuine conversation (and reading) with; the first real sign of my HGA.

He is so much inside and outside me, larger than me and yet the light of the tiniest particles of me, I don’t even have a word for whatever it is that he IS. I call him angelic and inner guide and the name he gave me because I have no idea what else to call this. It’s a Being and a Thing and an Event and a Place and a Relationship and… it’s like there is no label that is remotely big enough to encompass whatever it IS.
-- on Inner Guide #5, aka 'Mark.'

The boundary between the imaginational and imaginal is rather fuzzy and it is a developed skill and art to learn to stay there; to maintain your own autonomy while allowing the-others’ autonomy; to be shocked, astounded, grossed out, effused, and other surprise emotions from the interaction; all this without getting lost in the experience like a dream, yet also without pulling back to controlling the experience like a daydream. The former is being swept away by the river, and the latter is standing on the shore thinking about it; learning to walk the fine line of control and allowance to stay in that ‘imaginal realm’ actually takes practice. Crazy people think it’s all autonomous and happening ‘to’ them; people unable to allow this for themselves, may think it’s all imagination; and they’d both be right, because they are both lost; the goal is a whole world that bridges and encompasses both of those.

-- on "Interworlds Meditation"

Q: Where are you now?

Me: Well, back in my own reality.

Q: Wrong. You are in a reality version that distraction and denial have made for you.

Me: How do I get out?

Q: Wrong question. There is no space, there is no time. Where are you again?

Me: Oh. I’m wherever I "pay attention" to being.

Q: Right. You PAY attention. It is the currency of your soul. You rent your reality. Never forget that. The choice to move is yours.

Dealing with the unconscious has become a question of life for us.
The play of the imagination is incalculable.
~ Carl Jung

The imaginary can be innocuous, the imaginal never can.
~ Henry Corbin

A calling may be postponed, avoided, intermittently missed. It may also possess you completely. Whatever; eventually it will out. It makes its claim. The daimon does not go away.
~ James Hillman

There comes a time when the mind takes a higher plane of knowledge but can never prove how it got there.
-- Albert Einstein


This blog documents much of my work in the "inter-worlds" of a greater-self. It's not just esoteric: every thing corresponds — the mundane, the arcane, the divine. If it had to be summed up you might say it is "a universe of personalization." A strange place where monotheism and ultimate-pantheism are one and the same.

I am a natural mystic, if spontaneous experiences determine such a thing. I am not religious in any way; only guidance from the inside drives me. No identities or models unless they are introduced to me from the inside. (Sometimes I use them simply for interest, or because their models are convenient doorways -- but I accept none of their doctrines.) I briefly studied theology at one point, independently (I consider constant prayer a valid part of edu too), and where it led me was "anywhere-else." It's fine for others of course. I consider the heart of free will to be that everyone has their own road. Or as Heinlein once wrote, the right to go to hell in their own handbasket.

This tends to make me obsessed with the divine yet not religious at all, in any form, which is often confusing to onlookers. I am ever in love with and in closer pursuit of integration with The Christ (which I consider a solar-planetary deity, exceeding and preceding all possible religion, though cyclically present within our species) but I'm not remotely a modern Christian, and this also tends to be very confusing to onlookers. I'm a student of archetypes and pattern systems, yet not a jungian intellectual - armchair philosophy bores me - nor a power occultist - which has its own issues (and uniforms) to say the least.

After nearly two decades of certain experiences I felt alone with and thought were unique to me, it turns out I find some harmony in the gnostic writings. I didn't get it from there, and am not fond of that doctrine and the paradigms it came in with, so I ignore it. Which means despite talking about just a few things specific to it (by unknowing accident until a few years ago), I'm not part of that model either.

The road I walk is my own. It doesn't really have an easy label or anybody else on it, that I can see. This is between me and God, so it doesn't really need to work for anybody else. I used to wish I wasn't the only person with such experiences or practices, and started a blog in part in the hope I might find others with something similar. Maybe a need for community. I'm over that now, at least I think. I walk alone, but Light is with me. Can't ask for more than that.

-- Palyne

When we understand that perception is as much about source as target; that energy is a spectrum and best psi perception comes from the center, its balance and blend; that the manifest communication of our Selves is the literal 'reality' we experience; that everything in that reality is a profound 3D language element; that insight with the ‘center’ of spectrum is likely to be via the language-symbols of 'reality;' that these need to be interpreted at the level they are received; this is the path for intentional psi.
-- Insight on the Art of RV

Crossing the Boundary to Conscious

I had wanted to nap. I think I did get 40 minutes in. I woke up because the front door opened. My daughter’s two friends walked past my room and into her room and got something in there. As they came out, I said hello to them, and they said hi and I said something else I forget now, and then left. I sighed, because I was utterly wide awake, no chance of returning to nap.

So I figured I might as well get up, use the bathroom, and go into the kitchen and make food since I’m doing intermittant fasting, and I was pushing it late for my eating window, and I had to suck everything down in that one eating event (not usually, but today it worked that way).

I sat up and pushed my laptop computer and its cooling pad down below my feet so I could turn and sit on the side of my bed in prep for standing up. Then with some humor I laid all the way back comfortably, lazy, and as I turned my head a bit, this man slowly but casually walked into my room.

Not my physical eyes. I knew it was interworld perception. But it was SO CLEAR. Wow! Wow!

I was a little bit nervous, just because it was SO clear, and so novel. I didn’t feel a threat but then again, I wasn’t sure. His face was… unique, but it seemed familiar, but he seemed serious, and there was a sense of sort of… well I’m not sure I have words. So I quickly visualized a cleansing through my room and body, and then I called to Mark and said, divine light, please guide and protect me, and I kept the flaming red spinning pyramid of protection (something an IG4 meditation showed me years ago) to my right sort of… handy just in case… and I stared at him as he came to a stop standing next to me.

I had the feeling that he was seeing me a lot like I am now in the physical but that normally he saw me differently, from inside.

Me: Are you a guide?

Him: Yes.

Me: Are you an Aeon?

Him: No.

Me: Why can I see and hear you so clearly?

Him: You have chosen to.

Me: You look… you seem… familiar.

Him: We have often … interacted.

Me: What do you work with me on?

Him: {a bit of a shrug}… a variety of different things.

I stared at him, still agog over how clear it all was.

Me: Um. Is there anything you’d like to… that you would… tell me, now that you have my attention?

Him: Let go.

I think to myself: someone else told me that. Years ago. Oh! The Private Oracle. It was about allowing love and stuff.

Me: You mean like —

Him: Yes. Allow yourself to feel and love fully and completely.

I stared at him, realizing that until that moment I had only “paid attention” to his face, which is different, like the top half of the face is slightly redder than the rest, medium-dark complexion, I have a sense of ‘ancient’ with him like some people we would assume were walking around with clubs it’s so long ago. His hair was black and inches past his shoulders, straight. But now, all the sudden, I “became aware” of his body that I had ignored

As I did so, realized that I perceived him as wearing a suit. And I perceived the rest of him, even his head that I’d seen before, as more… clean and elegant than I had previously. I wondered if it was the talk of love or just me opening up to trust a little more because I knew he wasn’t any threat to me.

Me: Thank you. Wow. Thank you so much for this. For letting me perceive you so clearly like this.

He nodded slightly, and then turned and walked out of my room, and as he exited the doorway it was like the visual of him just vanished as each part of him passed through it, and he was gone.

I was left just thinking: wow! Wow! Wow! I saw him SO clearly!!

The last guide I saw and heard clearly — but it was in a meditation — was Brin. And I spontaneously chose to ‘release’ him though I don’t know why, and that was … gosh. I’m guessing a decade ago.

And I have heard and seen guides while ‘wide awake’ before — most of my meditations I am awake but my state of mind varies — but Marcan once followed me from a dream into my room (one of my Aeons), and I met the Aeons of numbers/letters and the Aeons-of-Aeons of Tarot, with the sense of them in my room — stuffing it, it was so crowded — pretty alertly. But that was also years ago. And not this… “clear” in terms of my utterly alert normal-life state of mind and environment.

I feel so delighted. It feels like that’s how it should be. I wish I got much more of this.

Me: Mark, why can’t I have way more of that kind of conscious experience?

He didn’t give me english words, but it amounted to: well you can. If more often you were sitting very calmly, wide awake, but not exhausted, and somewhat centered.

Later I thought to ask his name, in the kitchen, and I thought he told me but I couldn’t grasp it. I asked him to please spring it on me when I least expected it and yell it at me, and asked Mark to give him the energy from me if needed, so it wouldn’t “cost” him anything to make that effort, if such a thing were a consideration.

I thanked all guides, Aeons, chakras, Mark etc. for the experience, and then jumped up to go get food made for the day. This is day 3 on a ketogenic, intermittant fasting plan that I hope will help with the edema loss and general recovery after the open heart surgery, and that I hope will support the adaptive workout plan I’ve begun to go along with it.


PS I wanted to add something about the look of him. His natural skin tone, dusky, was a dusky-dark-reddish all the way to just below prominent cheekbones. This had a look to it that I couldn’t place at the time, but now I think I know where that combination color in the face, I’ve seen: in ‘masks’ like tribal maybe… maybe south America. A web search could not find an image similar to show, but I did find one that showed about the coverage area of the face, here. Came to the bottom of the nose, but it was just a natural deeper skin coloration (the color of that pic is pretty good actually). I think somehow that’s just how his people are. Not that I know of any people like that in our world/time.

3 comments to Crossing the Boundary to Conscious

  • KMG

    Wow! Did you do anything recently to “choose” seeing like this?

  • PJ

    Not that I know of! I mean that was awesome. Gosh I’d love to have more that was just that crystal clear in the utterly-alert state of mind. If there was some button I could push to make this happen, I think I’d be pushing it a lot! Mark’s response to my later question, though, does sort of bring home that up until now — since my surgery I have been sleeping more than I ever have in my adult life, which is to say, more like normal people — I just really haven’t been wide awake without exhaustion present as well. So maybe that matters for me, who knows.

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