I have found that:
  • → sincere prayer
  • → genuine intentions
  • → present-focus
  • → extended humor
  • → careful integrity
  • → constant work to discover and release all forms of bias in oneself
  • → dogged effort to pursue awareness, divine guidance and understanding
Leads a person to "interactive insight from the inside."

Consciously I want to evolve.
My ego resists strenuously.
I surreally "forget" so much!
So I blog for myself, mostly:
to re-read and remember.

People ask me where to begin with the complexity of the stuff on my blog. But my imaginal and related work spans 25 years as of 2016. So the real answer is "I don't know." I can't put all that in a sound bite. And one would have to understand, not just intellectually but experientially, a lot of it from start to middle to begin to understand where I am now. It is 'active imagination' work, resting on an extremely 'open' definition of archetype and energy, mapped at times to various occult patterns because they seem useful and otherwise just loosely personal; but that's not all. Short of how the blog speaks for itself that's about all I can say about it. It's a path I've built myself, for one. ~ Palyne

In the human spirit, as in the universe, nothing is higher or lower; everything has equal rights to a common center which manifests its hidden existence precisely through this harmonic relationship between every part and itself.
-- Goethe

Angels transcend every religion, every philosophy, every creed. In fact angels have no religion as we know it... their existence precedes every religious system that has ever existed on earth.
-- St. Thomas Aquinas

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In the beginning all was indivisible. And in becoming manifest, it became, seemingly, divisible. But the divisions must evolve to recognize themselves, and each other, and to then accept themselves, to truly know themselves by knowing each other. To begin, they are blended, confused; it is chaos, it is legion. They are all on the journey to indivisibility, to singularity, to the I AM. The point, of course, is not the destination, but the journey.

-- insight during the Princess of Disks meditation

Spiritual growth is like all other types: you absorb seemingly 'other' energy, and it becomes part of your own sense of identity. The growth is in awareness, and with that comes power which is always over Self.
Diversity is Legion;
Singularity is the I AM.
None of this is new although my approach to it is my own. -- Palyne

Inner Guide is Angelic. She is free of anything akin to doctrine. I call her an Angel because that is the only word I have for it, and because I know, all the way through me, that this is our word for her fundamentally divine nature. Aside from that, I don’t even know what she IS exactly, or what it means, or where it would fit into any model. She is life sized, soul wide, colors and gems and flowers and songs, everything beautiful that ever was, condensed into an identity I am completely in love with–except she feels like part of me too, so it’s like also being in love with yourself, and also with God, and also with the whole universe, both every tiny thing in your mundania, and ‘awareness’ as something so utterly, mind-bogglingly amazing — how could this exist? How could this not exist? How could I ever understand such a thing? — I am left only with joy, with awe.
-- on Inner Guide #4, aka 'Sedaena'. The first IG I had genuine conversation (and reading) with; the first real sign of my HGA.

He is so much inside and outside me, larger than me and yet the light of the tiniest particles of me, I don’t even have a word for whatever it is that he IS. I call him angelic and inner guide and the name he gave me because I have no idea what else to call this. It’s a Being and a Thing and an Event and a Place and a Relationship and… it’s like there is no label that is remotely big enough to encompass whatever it IS.
-- on Inner Guide #5, aka 'Mark.'

The boundary between the imaginational and imaginal is rather fuzzy and it is a developed skill and art to learn to stay there; to maintain your own autonomy while allowing the-others’ autonomy; to be shocked, astounded, grossed out, effused, and other surprise emotions from the interaction; all this without getting lost in the experience like a dream, yet also without pulling back to controlling the experience like a daydream. The former is being swept away by the river, and the latter is standing on the shore thinking about it; learning to walk the fine line of control and allowance to stay in that ‘imaginal realm’ actually takes practice. Crazy people think it’s all autonomous and happening ‘to’ them; people unable to allow this for themselves, may think it’s all imagination; and they’d both be right, because they are both lost; the goal is a whole world that bridges and encompasses both of those.

-- on "Interworlds Meditation"

Q: Where are you now?

Me: Well, back in my own reality.

Q: Wrong. You are in a reality version that distraction and denial have made for you.

Me: How do I get out?

Q: Wrong question. There is no space, there is no time. Where are you again?

Me: Oh. I’m wherever I "pay attention" to being.

Q: Right. You PAY attention. It is the currency of your soul. You rent your reality. Never forget that. The choice to move is yours.

Dealing with the unconscious has become a question of life for us.
The play of the imagination is incalculable.
~ Carl Jung

The imaginary can be innocuous, the imaginal never can.
~ Henry Corbin

A calling may be postponed, avoided, intermittently missed. It may also possess you completely. Whatever; eventually it will out. It makes its claim. The daimon does not go away.
~ James Hillman

There comes a time when the mind takes a higher plane of knowledge but can never prove how it got there.
-- Albert Einstein


This blog documents much of my work in the "inter-worlds" of a greater-self. It's not just esoteric: every thing corresponds — the mundane, the arcane, the divine. If it had to be summed up you might say it is "a universe of personalization." A strange place where monotheism and ultimate-pantheism are one and the same.

I am a natural mystic, if spontaneous experiences determine such a thing. I am not religious in any way; only guidance from the inside drives me. No identities or models unless they are introduced to me from the inside. (Sometimes I use them simply for interest, or because their models are convenient doorways -- but I accept none of their doctrines.) I briefly studied theology at one point, independently (I consider constant prayer a valid part of edu too), and where it led me was "anywhere-else." It's fine for others of course. I consider the heart of free will to be that everyone has their own road. Or as Heinlein once wrote, the right to go to hell in their own handbasket.

This tends to make me obsessed with the divine yet not religious at all, in any form, which is often confusing to onlookers. I am ever in love with and in closer pursuit of integration with The Christ (which I consider a solar-planetary deity, exceeding and preceding all possible religion, though cyclically present within our species) but I'm not remotely a modern Christian, and this also tends to be very confusing to onlookers. I'm a student of archetypes and pattern systems, yet not a jungian intellectual - armchair philosophy bores me - nor a power occultist - which has its own issues (and uniforms) to say the least.

After nearly two decades of certain experiences I felt alone with and thought were unique to me, it turns out I find some harmony in the gnostic writings. I didn't get it from there, and am not fond of that doctrine and the paradigms it came in with, so I ignore it. Which means despite talking about just a few things specific to it (by unknowing accident until a few years ago), I'm not part of that model either.

The road I walk is my own. It doesn't really have an easy label or anybody else on it, that I can see. This is between me and God, so it doesn't really need to work for anybody else. I used to wish I wasn't the only person with such experiences or practices, and started a blog in part in the hope I might find others with something similar. Maybe a need for community. I'm over that now, at least I think. I walk alone, but Light is with me. Can't ask for more than that.

-- Palyne

When we understand that perception is as much about source as target; that energy is a spectrum and best psi perception comes from the center, its balance and blend; that the manifest communication of our Selves is the literal 'reality' we experience; that everything in that reality is a profound 3D language element; that insight with the ‘center’ of spectrum is likely to be via the language-symbols of 'reality;' that these need to be interpreted at the level they are received; this is the path for intentional psi.
-- Insight on the Art of RV

Crown Chakra Review

My crown chakra once had an experiential-conversation with me and showed me some detail about its nature. Since that time I have had various insights. I’ve decided to write down what I feel is my greater understanding of it, now that it’s had more time to assimilate in me and be improved by further experience.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Crown Chakra Review

On Truth, II

The only guide for Truth is the inner feeling. There is no such thing as total-truth which is a verbal or written statement. So I don’t think that any of us are ever going to be able to look at anything from a math problem to a religious doctrine to an abduction account to a suicide note and say, “This is totally true or not.” We may be able to say, “I feel in my gut that there is truth here, in a strong or light intensity.” We may be able to say, “I feel there is a ‘break’ in the flow of this energy and two ‘cold words’ indicating someone other than the main author inserted these two words.” We may be able to say, ‘I sense accuracy (note: this is not Truth, but accuracy is a valid energy of its own) in the first part of this sentence, but not in the second part.’ All of those things can happen, and can help us intellectually evaluate things in the outer-worlds. But none of those are actually a decree of “This is TRUE!” or not. Because our reality is a kaleidoscope of patterns that are creative variations on Truth. There is Truth within the patterns to varying degrees, and ‘through’ them, but the fundamental composition of our reality is only some percentage of Truth.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at On Truth, II

On Religion

I have a bias about religion. It is this:

I find organized religion to be a Machiavellian control scheme, imposed via a collection of mostly bad mythological fiction, which is loosely based on some elements of facts, those which at this point nobody will ever have straight, and which are mostly if not completely irrelevant to an individual’s personal relationship with the divine inside them anyway.

I will add that under the umbrella of organized religion, untold numbers of individuals, both alone and collectively, have given more mercy, charity, faith, devotion, altruism and sacrifice and every other good thing, than any other umbrella mankind has ever had.

I have the utmost respect for anybody who is truly dedicated to what they perceive as bringing the divine of spirit farther into our world. To the degree this reflects anything I can recognize as sun-centered (love) philosophy or practice, I’m all for it, no matter what the details. To me, Christian or Catholic, Buddhist or Hindu, Sikh or Muslim, Mormon or Zen or Cabalist, or “independent mystic” as I would probably be labeled as, it is the personal relationship with God and what it brings to the inside of the human and their outside reality as a result, that I feel matters. Not the label or the detail.

To take something love-centered and then screw it up so profoundly as to leave a planet-wide lasting legacy of knee-jerk bias just like mine, you need the worst-possible collective human form, which of course is “government:” and it is Church’s function as government, both social and otherwise, both external and internal, that my bias is addressed toward.

And sure, it’d be fair to point out that without the control construct, much of the umbrella that individuals have used for good works, would not have existed. I recognize this, but that’s a sorry excuse that does not begin to exempt the rest.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at On Religion

Layers of Effects

This sounds so simple but it affected me so profoundly that I was clutching my gut and feeling slightly sick, not so much nauseated as if someone had literally just “punched me in the gut” and almost knocked the wind out of me.

Not integrating with Senior has implications far beyond what I do in daily life or for work. It is a required integration before certain degrees of strength, integrity, and further growth can occur.

Attempting to continue work, like with the Largers, while not accepting this and learning from it and working through it, is not just poor timing, it’s deadly. Physically. Even spiritually at least in the sense of literally ‘cracking into pieces” and all the work it would take to put myself back together–possibly a zillion more lives before I get back to the point of consciously knowing my Aeons and the Four, for example.

Some of them are heavy in his energy and they will “calve off” like the ice shelves, not accessible to me so directly anymore, if I don’t step back in the ring and walk into that energy.

I am in “cognitive dissonance.” That’s why I’m creating a reality where I work all the time. Where even when I’m not working, I’m a space cadet. The PO warned me way back when, and he was right. That I could end up walking away. Losing connections I had made.

There comes a time on any path where you can’t just stay still. You have to make a commitment. You are already in motion, in momentum, and the road moves too. If you don’t choose the high road, let’s call it in this analogy, you are still by default making a choice for the other road.

I’m on the other path, somewhere down the road, and the one I know I want to be on is barely in sight in the distance. I need to go back to the fork and make a conscious decision. It means some backtracking but if I don’t want to continue on this road, where I get further and further from feeling any ‘connection’ to Truth, to the Divine, to my Aeons, to the Four, almost none of whom I even think about any more and which seem like distant fiction most the time… I have to go back and deal with Senior’s energy. I have to resolve the cognitive dissonance. Because it forces denial, avoidance.

I can’t feel it. But I understand that’s part of the side-effect of what I’ve done to myself. Nothing feels physical or real anymore.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Layers of Effects

Rambling 04Dec09

I have a variety of e-post-it notes that I’d wanted to collect here, so it’s archived, together, and later I can find it. Many different topics here, copied from those or narrative.


My memory is so bizarrely “iffy” when it comes to this entire topic that if I didn’t blog everything (to the point of boring even myself) it would be gone forever. Not only does re-reading my blog remind me of things that I had forgotten and their details, but often it reminds me for the fourth time. Or more! Is that weird or what. It just falls out of my brain.

It’s like that movie ’50 First Dates’ where the woman has brain damage and every day is the same day from years ago and she has zero memory of anything since. So she wakes up each morning to a video that explains her situation, shows her her kids, and so on! I’m not quite THAT bad, but when it comes to remembering my “shamanic” life, so to speak, at any given time I have pieces, not the whole.

On the other hand, I notice in talking with other people that even if they record their dreams or meditations they tend to forget them and in re-reading them, finding their dream log later, some are refreshers they’d forgotten and some they don’t remember at all. Maybe this is normal.

…or not. I’ll say more about this later but I think I’m going to do a

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Rambling 04Dec09