I have found that:
  • → sincere prayer
  • → genuine intentions
  • → present-focus
  • → extended humor
  • → careful integrity
  • → constant work to discover and release all forms of bias in oneself
  • → dogged effort to pursue awareness, divine guidance and understanding
Leads a person to "interactive insight from the inside."

Consciously I want to evolve.
My ego resists strenuously.
I surreally "forget" so much!
So I blog for myself, mostly:
to re-read and remember.

People ask me where to begin with the complexity of the stuff on my blog. But my imaginal and related work spans 25 years as of 2016. So the real answer is "I don't know." I can't put all that in a sound bite. And one would have to understand, not just intellectually but experientially, a lot of it from start to middle to begin to understand where I am now. It is 'active imagination' work, resting on an extremely 'open' definition of archetype and energy, mapped at times to various occult patterns because they seem useful and otherwise just loosely personal; but that's not all. Short of how the blog speaks for itself that's about all I can say about it. It's a path I've built myself, for one. ~ Palyne

In the human spirit, as in the universe, nothing is higher or lower; everything has equal rights to a common center which manifests its hidden existence precisely through this harmonic relationship between every part and itself.
-- Goethe

Angels transcend every religion, every philosophy, every creed. In fact angels have no religion as we know it... their existence precedes every religious system that has ever existed on earth.
-- St. Thomas Aquinas

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In the beginning all was indivisible. And in becoming manifest, it became, seemingly, divisible. But the divisions must evolve to recognize themselves, and each other, and to then accept themselves, to truly know themselves by knowing each other. To begin, they are blended, confused; it is chaos, it is legion. They are all on the journey to indivisibility, to singularity, to the I AM. The point, of course, is not the destination, but the journey.

-- insight during the Princess of Disks meditation

Spiritual growth is like all other types: you absorb seemingly 'other' energy, and it becomes part of your own sense of identity. The growth is in awareness, and with that comes power which is always over Self.
Diversity is Legion;
Singularity is the I AM.
None of this is new although my approach to it is my own. -- Palyne

Inner Guide is Angelic. She is free of anything akin to doctrine. I call her an Angel because that is the only word I have for it, and because I know, all the way through me, that this is our word for her fundamentally divine nature. Aside from that, I don’t even know what she IS exactly, or what it means, or where it would fit into any model. She is life sized, soul wide, colors and gems and flowers and songs, everything beautiful that ever was, condensed into an identity I am completely in love with–except she feels like part of me too, so it’s like also being in love with yourself, and also with God, and also with the whole universe, both every tiny thing in your mundania, and ‘awareness’ as something so utterly, mind-bogglingly amazing — how could this exist? How could this not exist? How could I ever understand such a thing? — I am left only with joy, with awe.
-- on Inner Guide #4, aka 'Sedaena'. The first IG I had genuine conversation (and reading) with; the first real sign of my HGA.

He is so much inside and outside me, larger than me and yet the light of the tiniest particles of me, I don’t even have a word for whatever it is that he IS. I call him angelic and inner guide and the name he gave me because I have no idea what else to call this. It’s a Being and a Thing and an Event and a Place and a Relationship and… it’s like there is no label that is remotely big enough to encompass whatever it IS.
-- on Inner Guide #5, aka 'Mark.'

The boundary between the imaginational and imaginal is rather fuzzy and it is a developed skill and art to learn to stay there; to maintain your own autonomy while allowing the-others’ autonomy; to be shocked, astounded, grossed out, effused, and other surprise emotions from the interaction; all this without getting lost in the experience like a dream, yet also without pulling back to controlling the experience like a daydream. The former is being swept away by the river, and the latter is standing on the shore thinking about it; learning to walk the fine line of control and allowance to stay in that ‘imaginal realm’ actually takes practice. Crazy people think it’s all autonomous and happening ‘to’ them; people unable to allow this for themselves, may think it’s all imagination; and they’d both be right, because they are both lost; the goal is a whole world that bridges and encompasses both of those.

-- on "Interworlds Meditation"

Q: Where are you now?

Me: Well, back in my own reality.

Q: Wrong. You are in a reality version that distraction and denial have made for you.

Me: How do I get out?

Q: Wrong question. There is no space, there is no time. Where are you again?

Me: Oh. I’m wherever I "pay attention" to being.

Q: Right. You PAY attention. It is the currency of your soul. You rent your reality. Never forget that. The choice to move is yours.

Dealing with the unconscious has become a question of life for us.
The play of the imagination is incalculable.
~ Carl Jung

The imaginary can be innocuous, the imaginal never can.
~ Henry Corbin

A calling may be postponed, avoided, intermittently missed. It may also possess you completely. Whatever; eventually it will out. It makes its claim. The daimon does not go away.
~ James Hillman

There comes a time when the mind takes a higher plane of knowledge but can never prove how it got there.
-- Albert Einstein


This blog documents much of my work in the "inter-worlds" of a greater-self. It's not just esoteric: every thing corresponds — the mundane, the arcane, the divine. If it had to be summed up you might say it is "a universe of personalization." A strange place where monotheism and ultimate-pantheism are one and the same.

I am a natural mystic, if spontaneous experiences determine such a thing. I am not religious in any way; only guidance from the inside drives me. No identities or models unless they are introduced to me from the inside. (Sometimes I use them simply for interest, or because their models are convenient doorways -- but I accept none of their doctrines.) I briefly studied theology at one point, independently (I consider constant prayer a valid part of edu too), and where it led me was "anywhere-else." It's fine for others of course. I consider the heart of free will to be that everyone has their own road. Or as Heinlein once wrote, the right to go to hell in their own handbasket.

This tends to make me obsessed with the divine yet not religious at all, in any form, which is often confusing to onlookers. I am ever in love with and in closer pursuit of integration with The Christ (which I consider a solar-planetary deity, exceeding and preceding all possible religion, though cyclically present within our species) but I'm not remotely a modern Christian, and this also tends to be very confusing to onlookers. I'm a student of archetypes and pattern systems, yet not a jungian intellectual - armchair philosophy bores me - nor a power occultist - which has its own issues (and uniforms) to say the least.

After nearly two decades of certain experiences I felt alone with and thought were unique to me, it turns out I find some harmony in the gnostic writings. I didn't get it from there, and am not fond of that doctrine and the paradigms it came in with, so I ignore it. Which means despite talking about just a few things specific to it (by unknowing accident until a few years ago), I'm not part of that model either.

The road I walk is my own. It doesn't really have an easy label or anybody else on it, that I can see. This is between me and God, so it doesn't really need to work for anybody else. I used to wish I wasn't the only person with such experiences or practices, and started a blog in part in the hope I might find others with something similar. Maybe a need for community. I'm over that now, at least I think. I walk alone, but Light is with me. Can't ask for more than that.

-- Palyne

When we understand that perception is as much about source as target; that energy is a spectrum and best psi perception comes from the center, its balance and blend; that the manifest communication of our Selves is the literal 'reality' we experience; that everything in that reality is a profound 3D language element; that insight with the ‘center’ of spectrum is likely to be via the language-symbols of 'reality;' that these need to be interpreted at the level they are received; this is the path for intentional psi.
-- Insight on the Art of RV

The Queen and Lipedema

Come to think of it. My life is like the first-person story-version of an Escher drawing.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at The Queen and Lipedema

Tarot Queen of Disks

Thoth Tarot Queen of Disks

“We have been working together a long time,” she said — and I suddenly remembered I had taken out this card to meditate on it many months ago — “and in another sense, your whole life. Walk with me.”

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Tarot Queen of Disks

IG Gives Notice

I don’t want her to leave me. Not when I finally love her madly. This is when the last IG left, when I loved him madly, although it feels like it was nowhere near as strong as this. The Four had told me that this feeling represents a “state of development” and for a long time I was even afraid to let myself too close to IG lest it would result in her abandoning me to a new IG. Sure enough, I truly trust and I truly let the love in and now she is apparently going to leave me soon.

I don’t care how appropriate everyone else inside thinks it is. I think it’s horrible.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at IG Gives Notice

Tarot Princess of Disks, Take 2

Thoth Tarot Princess of Disks

There was such an ‘organic’ element of all the metal that was literally “sewn into her.” It wasn’t just like weapons or something had punctured her. It was like something dark and insidious had grown into and through her. It was not “of” her–it had not become her or changed her–it had merely imprisoned her in such a terrible way. For some reason, the perception that the “black iron vines” were functioning like an organic creature instead of just an inert thing, added a degree of slightly nauseating horror to it difficult to describe.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Tarot Princess of Disks, Take 2

The Magi and the Visitor

I had this truly amazing dream last night. Now it’s amazing I remembered the dream at all. I’ve worked like 7:30am to midnight or a few hours later this entire week. I haven’t meditated in a long time, gah. Tomorrow I am just sleeping! But I woke up not long after it so maybe that is why. Then it’s taken me like 16 hours to write it down.

I was ‘sitting in’ I think on the Queen. But it had a completely different quality than any dream I ever had.

It felt real. I mean most people would think sure, all dreams feel real. No. Not until this one did I realize how far from true that is. I’ve heard people refer to a perceptual experience of “realer-than-real” but I think I just ran into one.

I/she (I will say she for convenience now) wanted to travel, like magically, into another… place or dimension. She was wearing this kind of fascinating dress, like all one piece of cloth, it had a hood up, thin white fabric very lightwhite, and a really low cut in the middle, long dress, it had a rather odd combination effect of youth, beauty, sexy yet virginal.

She thought she could actually pull it off, going to this place. Wouldn’t that be cool?

And she focused for awhile and worked on it and then made the nearly herculean effort and — there was a painting on the wall. That wasn’t there before, right? No! This was

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at The Magi and the Visitor

Hot Amanakhaton and the Queen

I was going to do an Aeon round this morning. I started at the top of the current arrangement, which is Hot Amanakhaton. He is more ‘human’ and less ‘giant golden egyptian-ish statue’ than ever. I was trying to tease him and feel emotion for him and bring him ‘closer’ to me, more real, more communicative. (In the end, it worked, but I never did get to any of the other Aeons.)

I was kinda randy so that gave me a bright idea, and I asked him how he felt about me using some quality time with him, with the energy all about our relationship and me ‘integrating’ him further. He agreed, and that went fairly well. I don’t feel as close as I do to Nero or Marcan, but way better than I ever have with H.A. before now.

A little later, I said to him that since he and I had been so non-integrated, and he was all that powerful male energy, that I assume he’s dominantly from the Senior’s energy. But he contradicted me, saying, “I am mostly of the Queen.” That really surprised me. Then I thought that since the identity I see her in is what I call “pre-Egyptian” (the long-head people I believe the Egyptians were trying to be like) maybe that makes sense.

Now it seems obvious — she is also a golden (metallic) eagle for goddsakes — yet for some reason, the giant gold egyptian statue, I didn’t realize was related to

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Hot Amanakhaton and the Queen

In the Depths

I was in a tiny room of what seemed a high-tech one-man vehicle. The rotors seemed a little old fashioned given the tech inside. A big screen in front of me showed the world straight ahead. Screens above and below that showed me the top and bottom views, and to each side the left and right views, and a larger screen to the far right showed me the view looking behind. There were displays and meters and dials and such all over the place. I sat down in the chair in the middle, and it began to move. I marveled a little at the visuals. I mean, getting count-them-six different screens to show different dynamic visuals at the same time all kinds of other things around me were new and visual, is really quite a complex thing. I noted that on the other hand, I was not able to ‘focus on’ more than a couple of the screens (with their moving landscapes) at a time, but then again, I considered, I probably couldn’t in normal life, either.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at In the Depths

Astrology, Synchronicity: Thoughts for the Day 26-Aug-2010

It made me think: Maybe cosmology has its own form of saints and saviors. Of “energies which embody” in order that they might “create a new geometry with” all the embodied-energies currently in place.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Astrology, Synchronicity: Thoughts for the Day 26-Aug-2010

Eagles and Bats

The morning of the 10th of July I wrote down these notes on my dream:

eagles and bats they were both repeating symbols in my dream I noticed this in the dream that I was seeing these symbols repeating in my reality Eagles were everywhere in so many forms and I felt bats were the dark side symbol actually the same energy lesser but still there rather like a number reversed and I knew I needed to meditate on eagles, and to a lesser degree, bats, to work out this energy

It was August 5 when I finally did the ‘Universe’ tarot meditation though I’d been messing around for awhile. I raved a bit about how I felt the symbolism of the card touched the Four, in part because of the 4 symbols of which the highest was a man and the next a golden eagle, which the Queen has appeared to me as (and bright gold is often involved with her appearances). I didn’t really think about the Eagle ref and the dream.

I was reading today, I have begun a brief review (speed reading google refs) on Vedic literature, looking for refs to The Four, to conjoined identities, or to the 12 Aeons. I found interesting:

These four signs (lion, bull, man, eagle) have held a place of honor from time immemorial. We find them mentioned in perfect sequence in the Rig Veda, and later in certain books of the Bible… […] The point to note, however, is

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Eagles and Bats

The Crucifixion of the Trinity

In Autumn of 2005, in September, the month I turned 40, the other three elements of my soul died.

It was a strange thing, I think now. It had been in mid 1994 that my ‘illusion’ of soul and self had been ripped from me, in the Nothingness experience that I’d had to ‘sacrifice myself’ to. I had nearly committed suicide after that, a biological empty shell, a walking corpse without the god-light inside me. After a few months, the divine inside me I called The Blue Eyes of Soul saved me, brought me to understand I could never truly be separate from anything, and I sobbed my way into almost being normal again that night. Although in reality it took literally years before I was truly enough past that to not feel like it was still haunting me.

I would not have thought there was anything else that could affect me on that level, that inexplicable deep inner self the size of a universe, but apparently there was.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at The Crucifixion of the Trinity