I have found that:
  • → sincere prayer
  • → genuine intentions
  • → present-focus
  • → extended humor
  • → careful integrity
  • → constant work to discover and release all forms of bias in oneself
  • → dogged effort to pursue awareness, divine guidance and understanding
Leads a person to "interactive insight from the inside."

Consciously I want to evolve.
My ego resists strenuously.
I surreally "forget" so much!
So I blog for myself, mostly:
to re-read and remember.

People ask me where to begin with the complexity of the stuff on my blog. But my imaginal and related work spans 25 years as of 2016. So the real answer is "I don't know." I can't put all that in a sound bite. And one would have to understand, not just intellectually but experientially, a lot of it from start to middle to begin to understand where I am now. It is 'active imagination' work, resting on an extremely 'open' definition of archetype and energy, mapped at times to various occult patterns because they seem useful and otherwise just loosely personal; but that's not all. Short of how the blog speaks for itself that's about all I can say about it. It's a path I've built myself, for one. ~ Palyne

In the human spirit, as in the universe, nothing is higher or lower; everything has equal rights to a common center which manifests its hidden existence precisely through this harmonic relationship between every part and itself.
-- Goethe

Angels transcend every religion, every philosophy, every creed. In fact angels have no religion as we know it... their existence precedes every religious system that has ever existed on earth.
-- St. Thomas Aquinas

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In the beginning all was indivisible. And in becoming manifest, it became, seemingly, divisible. But the divisions must evolve to recognize themselves, and each other, and to then accept themselves, to truly know themselves by knowing each other. To begin, they are blended, confused; it is chaos, it is legion. They are all on the journey to indivisibility, to singularity, to the I AM. The point, of course, is not the destination, but the journey.

-- insight during the Princess of Disks meditation

Spiritual growth is like all other types: you absorb seemingly 'other' energy, and it becomes part of your own sense of identity. The growth is in awareness, and with that comes power which is always over Self.
Diversity is Legion;
Singularity is the I AM.
None of this is new although my approach to it is my own. -- Palyne

Inner Guide is Angelic. She is free of anything akin to doctrine. I call her an Angel because that is the only word I have for it, and because I know, all the way through me, that this is our word for her fundamentally divine nature. Aside from that, I don’t even know what she IS exactly, or what it means, or where it would fit into any model. She is life sized, soul wide, colors and gems and flowers and songs, everything beautiful that ever was, condensed into an identity I am completely in love with–except she feels like part of me too, so it’s like also being in love with yourself, and also with God, and also with the whole universe, both every tiny thing in your mundania, and ‘awareness’ as something so utterly, mind-bogglingly amazing — how could this exist? How could this not exist? How could I ever understand such a thing? — I am left only with joy, with awe.
-- on Inner Guide #4, aka 'Sedaena'. The first IG I had genuine conversation (and reading) with; the first real sign of my HGA.

He is so much inside and outside me, larger than me and yet the light of the tiniest particles of me, I don’t even have a word for whatever it is that he IS. I call him angelic and inner guide and the name he gave me because I have no idea what else to call this. It’s a Being and a Thing and an Event and a Place and a Relationship and… it’s like there is no label that is remotely big enough to encompass whatever it IS.
-- on Inner Guide #5, aka 'Mark.'

The boundary between the imaginational and imaginal is rather fuzzy and it is a developed skill and art to learn to stay there; to maintain your own autonomy while allowing the-others’ autonomy; to be shocked, astounded, grossed out, effused, and other surprise emotions from the interaction; all this without getting lost in the experience like a dream, yet also without pulling back to controlling the experience like a daydream. The former is being swept away by the river, and the latter is standing on the shore thinking about it; learning to walk the fine line of control and allowance to stay in that ‘imaginal realm’ actually takes practice. Crazy people think it’s all autonomous and happening ‘to’ them; people unable to allow this for themselves, may think it’s all imagination; and they’d both be right, because they are both lost; the goal is a whole world that bridges and encompasses both of those.

-- on "Interworlds Meditation"

Q: Where are you now?

Me: Well, back in my own reality.

Q: Wrong. You are in a reality version that distraction and denial have made for you.

Me: How do I get out?

Q: Wrong question. There is no space, there is no time. Where are you again?

Me: Oh. I’m wherever I "pay attention" to being.

Q: Right. You PAY attention. It is the currency of your soul. You rent your reality. Never forget that. The choice to move is yours.

Dealing with the unconscious has become a question of life for us.
The play of the imagination is incalculable.
~ Carl Jung

The imaginary can be innocuous, the imaginal never can.
~ Henry Corbin

A calling may be postponed, avoided, intermittently missed. It may also possess you completely. Whatever; eventually it will out. It makes its claim. The daimon does not go away.
~ James Hillman

There comes a time when the mind takes a higher plane of knowledge but can never prove how it got there.
-- Albert Einstein


This blog documents much of my work in the "inter-worlds" of a greater-self. It's not just esoteric: every thing corresponds — the mundane, the arcane, the divine. If it had to be summed up you might say it is "a universe of personalization." A strange place where monotheism and ultimate-pantheism are one and the same.

I am a natural mystic, if spontaneous experiences determine such a thing. I am not religious in any way; only guidance from the inside drives me. No identities or models unless they are introduced to me from the inside. (Sometimes I use them simply for interest, or because their models are convenient doorways -- but I accept none of their doctrines.) I briefly studied theology at one point, independently (I consider constant prayer a valid part of edu too), and where it led me was "anywhere-else." It's fine for others of course. I consider the heart of free will to be that everyone has their own road. Or as Heinlein once wrote, the right to go to hell in their own handbasket.

This tends to make me obsessed with the divine yet not religious at all, in any form, which is often confusing to onlookers. I am ever in love with and in closer pursuit of integration with The Christ (which I consider a solar-planetary deity, exceeding and preceding all possible religion, though cyclically present within our species) but I'm not remotely a modern Christian, and this also tends to be very confusing to onlookers. I'm a student of archetypes and pattern systems, yet not a jungian intellectual - armchair philosophy bores me - nor a power occultist - which has its own issues (and uniforms) to say the least.

After nearly two decades of certain experiences I felt alone with and thought were unique to me, it turns out I find some harmony in the gnostic writings. I didn't get it from there, and am not fond of that doctrine and the paradigms it came in with, so I ignore it. Which means despite talking about just a few things specific to it (by unknowing accident until a few years ago), I'm not part of that model either.

The road I walk is my own. It doesn't really have an easy label or anybody else on it, that I can see. This is between me and God, so it doesn't really need to work for anybody else. I used to wish I wasn't the only person with such experiences or practices, and started a blog in part in the hope I might find others with something similar. Maybe a need for community. I'm over that now, at least I think. I walk alone, but Light is with me. Can't ask for more than that.

-- Palyne

When we understand that perception is as much about source as target; that energy is a spectrum and best psi perception comes from the center, its balance and blend; that the manifest communication of our Selves is the literal 'reality' we experience; that everything in that reality is a profound 3D language element; that insight with the ‘center’ of spectrum is likely to be via the language-symbols of 'reality;' that these need to be interpreted at the level they are received; this is the path for intentional psi.
-- Insight on the Art of RV

Tarot 10 of Wands – Oppression

Thoth Tarot Ten of Wands (Oppression)

It seemed like this was the dynamic of it: that fear borne of a sense of personal weakness, was behind even the most abstract or the most egregious oppression even when it came from non-individuals like religion, government, institution, education, because all those things have people making up their guidance and management.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Tarot 10 of Wands – Oppression

BUSM and the rejection of parts of self

I think one reason I haven’t thought very hard about that whole follow-on experience with the chakra-feminine was that it really bothered me. I’m not sure if scared me, freaked me out, or irritated me because it sounded stupid, the whole concept of the archon ‘invasion’. Also, because then I had to wonder if every time I got sick I had been invaded or something. (Reminding me of the ancient idea that illness was when the tiny little demons (messengers?) got in your bloodstream. Seth once said that we actually catch ‘ideas’, as if that’s what germs really were. If every molecule let alone cell of energy is an information unit, and daemons are messengers, this makes a weird kind of sense.)

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at BUSM and the rejection of parts of self

Tarot Princess of Wands

Thoth Tarot Princess of Wands

I just reached into the center, to the ‘core of light’ of the arch and grabbed it and connected to it and poured energy in to expand it, and it kind of just exploded off and there she was. She’d been like inside it.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Tarot Princess of Wands

4th in the 1st World

So for a long time I’ve mentioned and observed how integrating the energy of the Senior is my biggest challenge. Senior’s world in tarot is Wands, so Knight of Wands was apparently the worst 6-month meditation of all time because it was his energy in his world, no less. This weekend I wasn’t doing much constructive physically so now and then I did blog stuff. And in looking at tarot stuff I thought to myself, “Well on the bright side, I’m working through it. I mean, I did the Princess of Wands meditation and –” Wait a minute … I did the Disks all the way up to the Princess. And I did the Wands from Knight down to Prince. Guess what the next card up was? The card actually sitting out for months and months now? I had taken out both Princess cards and did the Disks. And then… I quit meditating regularly ENTIRELY. … Just as an incredible coincidence, Princess of Wands would be, in theory, the big “crux” card of that issue.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at 4th in the 1st World

Tarot Prince of Wands, Take 2

Thoth Tarot Prince of Wands

I felt as if I had something on my upper chest, in the area where The Four connect with me, between the heart and throat chakras. … I was affectionate during it, and talking with him, as I had before I’d left the previous med. I had an idea that making this tantric would be a good end but alas, I was neither in the mood nor the situation for that. I merged with him and then with the landscape and I got some decent rushing from that. But I actually got the most rushing while I was working on his legs, especially when I was focusing-in “with emotional impelling” to the degree I could summon. The more you really want the healing and the merge the better it goes at that moment, generally. IG seemed to think it went ok.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Tarot Prince of Wands, Take 2

Tarot Prince of Wands, take 1

Thoth Tarot Prince of Wands

Shriveled and broken and more that I couldn’t make sense of. I couldn’t even see the legs and feet really, just a sense of a complete disaster there. … I was thinking how it isn’t a surprise the legs are so affected in an arch, probably the only surprise is this symbol didn’t occur earlier. But then some other part of me said that this related to El Nino, to the fact that I had to go rescue Jared’s horse who had been immobilized in a big boulder. Maybe the power beneath, motive, transport, strength… the symbols seem clear though they are a bit abstracted.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Tarot Prince of Wands, take 1

Life, the Universe, and Nothing

He was the Prince of Wands, I understood that.

He wore a suit. He was very powerful, a magician with great force of will, and a temper to match.

They were immortals. They had existed before Time, and would exist after Time. But there weren’t that many left. Their eternal feuding, no matter its duration, no matter their immortal nature, did not keep them from being taken from identity-existence. Not if you did it right, which someone occasionally did. Occasionally is a whole lot when you have all of eternity to work with. Their numbers had thinned until only a handful remained.

He and the woman were in battle. They wrestled in energy and then wrestled in person. She stole his wand, and it took him several centuries to get it back. He stole something of hers and she came to challenge him regularly for it. They battled again. To the death, they pretended. He trapped her in a space she couldn’t escape. She surrounded herself with something impenetrable by force or fire. He removed all the oxygen from her space, and it began to vacuum, her energy pulling around her like a fabric.

But nothing else happened and when she struggled out of that, she saw that he was gone. He would let her live to try and kill him another day. Or he would be back for her. And they would battle.

But nobody would die, I realized, as if it were the most important realization in the entire universe.

Because there is no worse curse, no more horrifying fate, no sorrow so deep, as being alone.

Really, really alone. For eternity.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Life, the Universe, and Nothing

Tarot Queen of Wands

Thoth Tarot Queen of Wands

I had some ‘impressions’ while in this. They weren’t real strong so I hope I am not screwing this up. But it had to do with the four royal cards of each tarot suit, and the Four (a rather obvious correlation of course), and with the four suits themselves, and the Four (also a rather obvious correlation–I am disks, 3rd is swords, Queen is cups, Senior is wands).

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Tarot Queen of Wands

Tarot Knight of Wands, Part 6 (4/4)

Thoth Tarot Knight of Wands

Finally! My god! It has taken SIX MONTHS to get all the way through this ONE archetype. I’ve never had anything be that hard before — to do or “to get around to” doing. Finally this morning I managed to get to the last meditation to finish it off. I couldn’t see the arch through most of it. I just held onto it. Everything I did ‘to’ the arch I felt personally, with all kinds of ‘rushes’ and ‘buzzes’ through my whole body. Mostly just all the basic stuff. When I was finally done, it looked like me. Geez. The 4th of 4?? Maybe I should have seen that coming. We merged and spent awhile on that. Then I pulled in a merge each of the other three and THAT was a really body rocking merge altogether. When totally done, I did another meditation on the relationship between me and my guides, with an emphasis on my resistance/issues. The arch started out as something like a spider-human hybrid that was about 20 feet tall. Ok… apparently I have some problems there LOL. By the time I finally finished, I was able to merge a bit, and then I went through and held the hands and focused on each of my outer guides in turn that I’ve been introduced to (Nero, Taan, Bolehren, Ithika, and Marcan), and then merged them all into me which was a great rush. IG was invisible–I’ve been out of this too long–but I felt great with her at the end. I’ve got to do more of this for my own good.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Tarot Knight of Wands, Part 6 (4/4)

Tarot Knight of Wands, Part 5 (3/4)

Thoth Tarot Knight of Wands

My impression was of an oversized and bulbuous skull, as if I were seeing a skeleton sort of, on a very large and bulky man. He had way too much bone everywhere, like 3x as much as a human is supposed to need. It took me several meditation attempts to connect properly with him and work with him. … But he still had more bone than is normal. Maybe that’s a symbol in itself. … I felt like maybe I wasn’t succeeding, but he suggested, ‘Maybe that is the way I choose to be.’ I had a sense then that just because something is not ideal in my opinion doesn’t mean it is bad. I had the sense that the heavy thick bone he had was like a result of my childhood somehow, and so you might say, it was a little heavier than it should be, but it was also stronger, more powerful, and maybe he chose to keep that power/strength rather than be what I call normal or better looking.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Tarot Knight of Wands, Part 5 (3/4)

Tarot Knight of Wands, Part 4 (2/4)

Thoth Tarot Knight of Wands

I swear, this may go down as the most difficult and epic archetype meditation of my life. … I “became aware” that I was to do the next step of the archetype meditation on the knight of wands. Not having finished this has left me open to the effects of that energy activated and not dealt with and it’s been kicking my ass bigtime for two months. I figured well why not, and agreed, and before I could even ask for the next step, a woman appeared. … She looked sort of ok on the outside. There was something wrong but I couldn’t see what. She had longish straight dark hair, and after considering her for a bit, I felt that there was a sense of a grevious wound like from a sword, that wrapped up around her torso and across her neck. Like it was deep and bloody. And yet I couldn’t see anything at all there… so that was just inexplicable. I started talking to her, and I felt so very affectionate about her for some reason. I felt like she was a woman and yet, like a a vulnerable child who was holding something inside, like a secret, as if held for someone else, paying a price for something every day. I laid her on a table and brought in an imagined technology that would make her completely translucent to me so I could ‘see inside her’. I didn’t know what to make of it. She was absolutely stuffed FULL of… stuff. The kind of stuff that looks like a metal junkyard, a local trash heap, someone’s storage bin, everything you can imagine, random pieces of metal and weird and yucky stuff, actual objects, things in pieces, things rolled up like for packing, everything stuffed together tightly, and some impossible quantity of it stuffed into her body.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Tarot Knight of Wands, Part 4 (2/4)

Tarot Knight of Wands, part 3 (1/4)

Thoth Tarot Knight of Wands

The first, which I didn’t start on before I passed out that time, seemed sort of normal in front except a monkey-like face, but the back was completely burned out, hollowed out, the whole back of the body. … The meditation was very difficult although not complex. I got him onto a gurney and flipped him over and filled all the hollowed-out of him with “the water of life”. I asked for the Angelics and they came and each put a hand on my back on a shoulder blade. Then I ‘got the attention’ of the front of him that was still fleshed out and asked it to become flexible and to start replicating cells, to rebuild him from the front, gradually adding flesh on the inside where the little lakes were.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Tarot Knight of Wands, part 3 (1/4)