I have found that:
  • → sincere prayer
  • → genuine intentions
  • → present-focus
  • → extended humor
  • → careful integrity
  • → constant work to discover and release all forms of bias in oneself
  • → dogged effort to pursue awareness, divine guidance and understanding
Leads a person to "interactive insight from the inside."

Consciously I want to evolve.
My ego resists strenuously.
I surreally "forget" so much!
So I blog for myself, mostly:
to re-read and remember.

People ask me where to begin with the complexity of the stuff on my blog. But my imaginal and related work spans 25 years as of 2016. So the real answer is "I don't know." I can't put all that in a sound bite. And one would have to understand, not just intellectually but experientially, a lot of it from start to middle to begin to understand where I am now. It is 'active imagination' work, resting on an extremely 'open' definition of archetype and energy, mapped at times to various occult patterns because they seem useful and otherwise just loosely personal; but that's not all. Short of how the blog speaks for itself that's about all I can say about it. It's a path I've built myself, for one. ~ Palyne

In the human spirit, as in the universe, nothing is higher or lower; everything has equal rights to a common center which manifests its hidden existence precisely through this harmonic relationship between every part and itself.
-- Goethe

Angels transcend every religion, every philosophy, every creed. In fact angels have no religion as we know it... their existence precedes every religious system that has ever existed on earth.
-- St. Thomas Aquinas

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In the beginning all was indivisible. And in becoming manifest, it became, seemingly, divisible. But the divisions must evolve to recognize themselves, and each other, and to then accept themselves, to truly know themselves by knowing each other. To begin, they are blended, confused; it is chaos, it is legion. They are all on the journey to indivisibility, to singularity, to the I AM. The point, of course, is not the destination, but the journey.

-- insight during the Princess of Disks meditation

Spiritual growth is like all other types: you absorb seemingly 'other' energy, and it becomes part of your own sense of identity. The growth is in awareness, and with that comes power which is always over Self.
Diversity is Legion;
Singularity is the I AM.
None of this is new although my approach to it is my own. -- Palyne

Inner Guide is Angelic. She is free of anything akin to doctrine. I call her an Angel because that is the only word I have for it, and because I know, all the way through me, that this is our word for her fundamentally divine nature. Aside from that, I don’t even know what she IS exactly, or what it means, or where it would fit into any model. She is life sized, soul wide, colors and gems and flowers and songs, everything beautiful that ever was, condensed into an identity I am completely in love with–except she feels like part of me too, so it’s like also being in love with yourself, and also with God, and also with the whole universe, both every tiny thing in your mundania, and ‘awareness’ as something so utterly, mind-bogglingly amazing — how could this exist? How could this not exist? How could I ever understand such a thing? — I am left only with joy, with awe.
-- on Inner Guide #4, aka 'Sedaena'. The first IG I had genuine conversation (and reading) with; the first real sign of my HGA.

He is so much inside and outside me, larger than me and yet the light of the tiniest particles of me, I don’t even have a word for whatever it is that he IS. I call him angelic and inner guide and the name he gave me because I have no idea what else to call this. It’s a Being and a Thing and an Event and a Place and a Relationship and… it’s like there is no label that is remotely big enough to encompass whatever it IS.
-- on Inner Guide #5, aka 'Mark.'

The boundary between the imaginational and imaginal is rather fuzzy and it is a developed skill and art to learn to stay there; to maintain your own autonomy while allowing the-others’ autonomy; to be shocked, astounded, grossed out, effused, and other surprise emotions from the interaction; all this without getting lost in the experience like a dream, yet also without pulling back to controlling the experience like a daydream. The former is being swept away by the river, and the latter is standing on the shore thinking about it; learning to walk the fine line of control and allowance to stay in that ‘imaginal realm’ actually takes practice. Crazy people think it’s all autonomous and happening ‘to’ them; people unable to allow this for themselves, may think it’s all imagination; and they’d both be right, because they are both lost; the goal is a whole world that bridges and encompasses both of those.

-- on "Interworlds Meditation"

Q: Where are you now?

Me: Well, back in my own reality.

Q: Wrong. You are in a reality version that distraction and denial have made for you.

Me: How do I get out?

Q: Wrong question. There is no space, there is no time. Where are you again?

Me: Oh. I’m wherever I "pay attention" to being.

Q: Right. You PAY attention. It is the currency of your soul. You rent your reality. Never forget that. The choice to move is yours.

Dealing with the unconscious has become a question of life for us.
The play of the imagination is incalculable.
~ Carl Jung

The imaginary can be innocuous, the imaginal never can.
~ Henry Corbin

A calling may be postponed, avoided, intermittently missed. It may also possess you completely. Whatever; eventually it will out. It makes its claim. The daimon does not go away.
~ James Hillman

There comes a time when the mind takes a higher plane of knowledge but can never prove how it got there.
-- Albert Einstein


This blog documents much of my work in the "inter-worlds" of a greater-self. It's not just esoteric: every thing corresponds — the mundane, the arcane, the divine. If it had to be summed up you might say it is "a universe of personalization." A strange place where monotheism and ultimate-pantheism are one and the same.

I am a natural mystic, if spontaneous experiences determine such a thing. I am not religious in any way; only guidance from the inside drives me. No identities or models unless they are introduced to me from the inside. (Sometimes I use them simply for interest, or because their models are convenient doorways -- but I accept none of their doctrines.) I briefly studied theology at one point, independently (I consider constant prayer a valid part of edu too), and where it led me was "anywhere-else." It's fine for others of course. I consider the heart of free will to be that everyone has their own road. Or as Heinlein once wrote, the right to go to hell in their own handbasket.

This tends to make me obsessed with the divine yet not religious at all, in any form, which is often confusing to onlookers. I am ever in love with and in closer pursuit of integration with The Christ (which I consider a solar-planetary deity, exceeding and preceding all possible religion, though cyclically present within our species) but I'm not remotely a modern Christian, and this also tends to be very confusing to onlookers. I'm a student of archetypes and pattern systems, yet not a jungian intellectual - armchair philosophy bores me - nor a power occultist - which has its own issues (and uniforms) to say the least.

After nearly two decades of certain experiences I felt alone with and thought were unique to me, it turns out I find some harmony in the gnostic writings. I didn't get it from there, and am not fond of that doctrine and the paradigms it came in with, so I ignore it. Which means despite talking about just a few things specific to it (by unknowing accident until a few years ago), I'm not part of that model either.

The road I walk is my own. It doesn't really have an easy label or anybody else on it, that I can see. This is between me and God, so it doesn't really need to work for anybody else. I used to wish I wasn't the only person with such experiences or practices, and started a blog in part in the hope I might find others with something similar. Maybe a need for community. I'm over that now, at least I think. I walk alone, but Light is with me. Can't ask for more than that.

-- Palyne

When we understand that perception is as much about source as target; that energy is a spectrum and best psi perception comes from the center, its balance and blend; that the manifest communication of our Selves is the literal 'reality' we experience; that everything in that reality is a profound 3D language element; that insight with the ‘center’ of spectrum is likely to be via the language-symbols of 'reality;' that these need to be interpreted at the level they are received; this is the path for intentional psi.
-- Insight on the Art of RV

The Eye of the Universe

I saw an eye. It surprised me. It was like a cross between a real eye, and a computer icon, and also a carved eye like in a statue, somehow. It didn’t move at all. But it was looking at me. Like it was ‘a symbol of awareness.’

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at The Eye of the Universe

Tarot Adjustment, Take III

Thoth Tarot Trumps VIII Adjustment

When it was time to trade some energy he/she reached out to the chakras above and below my feet/head and did something that connected them and I went, “Ohhhhh is THAT what those things on the card are?? I didn’t realize!” — maybe I am clueless.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Tarot Adjustment, Take III

Tarot Dreaming of The Magus

Thoth Tarot Trumps I The Magus

I was in the middle of a dream where I was talking with someone about a certain energy. It was many things at once including a number and a tarot card and so on. I looked at the card. A male human was on it, with a sense of being a ‘crucifixion’-“style” pose and something about the legs or feet slightly crossed. It was dominantly yellows with the other dominant color being greens. Then I thought to myself, “Hey, you’re dreaming about a tarot card! This is important, you gotta remember this!” and I was awake. Nice bit of lucidity alarm clock.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Tarot Dreaming of The Magus

Tarot The Sun

Thoth Tarot Trumps XIX The Sun

But she doesn’t “do” anything that I notice, I just see this man walking toward me, and I turn to him and realize we’re in a spring meadow of little wildflowers with nothing but meadow as far as I can see in every direction.

It’s the Sun. I know him. I used to meditate with him a lot back in the day, back when I really had some major reality-shifts going. The Sun can be in any form, of course, and any gender, but my favorite was this tall man with golden hair and a big smile.

He always seemed very wise to me, and very calm yet always amused in the most positive way of permanent good-humor. “It’s you!” I say to him, and I throw my arms around him and hold onto him for awhile, before stepping back to look up at him.

“Are you the same via Tarot as via internal ‘planet’ work?” I asked, surveying him critically, looking for differences.

“Mostly, but not entirely,” he says.

“I missed you so much!” I gush at him, and throw my arms around him again.

I feel like crying suddenly. Not in a bad way, but in the way where, when something really good happens, or ‘moves’ you, suddenly all that repressed dark stuff under the surface wants to vent out of the new opening.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Tarot The Sun

Tarot The Universe

Thoth Tarot Trumps XXI The Universe

“If I were to work with this,” the archetype said, “I would fold it into the infinity of darkness, as you call it.” Our hands moved and the orb disappeared in his visualization. “Oh, but no, no!” I cried, suddenly feeling unusually passionate about it all. “I would do this!” and I waved my hands and brought it back. “I would give it tons of light and love and colors and shape and time! I would give it everything, infinite everythings!” and as I waved my hands, I began with butterflies in every color and size and design, but expanded to an entire planet of everything.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Tarot The Universe

Tarot The Universe

Thoth Tarot Trumps XXI The Universe

All the sudden it was so obvious to me! The senior in the top right. The Queen actually IS a golden bird in another form, there you go, it’s right there! Me and my mate/twin are similar but for gender, in the bottom corners. The eye is an “I” — an identity — and it beams into four-fold manifestation in this universe. The shape and color of earth on the outside is actually a female opening, it’s a birthing symbol. There was some more that I lost because I was sleepy and didn’t write it down, something about the tiny lines at bottom middle. The center seems clearly related to kundalini given the giant snake but I didn’t get much on that aspect.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Tarot The Universe

Tarot The Tower, Take 3

Thoth Tarot Trumps XVI The Tower

I have had tremendous resistance about continuing the archetype of tarot “the Tower” meditation. Last night I went to sleep too late to meditate. But before falling asleep, curled up happily in my pillows, I talked to IG. I asked her to please work with me in dreams, and in waking, to “work through the Tower energy” so I would keep moving forward on it. Had I known the dream result ahead of time I might not have asked.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Tarot The Tower, Take 3

Tarot The Tower, Take 2

Thoth Tarot Trumps XVI The Tower

After awhile, it started to get a little demoralizing that this kept happening, but I told myself: it isn’t how many times you fail. It is only important that you make the effort one time more than that happens, so you succeed. So I went back again. And again. I am sure that people way more interesting than me just have really cosmic experiences and don’t have to blog about how they spontaneously spaced out a hundred times during a simple little jungian/shamanic-style meditation. I feel like such a nerd. I still don’t even see what is so HARD about this. I mean I don’t feel the profound emotions I have with many other archetypes. Actually I guess I don’t feel much at all, since even slightly too much mental focus instantly shuts me off like a light switch. At least body is now dumping me out the door back to this world again so I can realize after a moment that something just radically changed, and that I am in the midst of some completely unrelated thought process, and begin again. That certainly helps. In fact I feel as if having worked this out with body has probably saved me months of failed meditations ending in sleep on this archetype, so that’s cool.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Tarot The Tower, Take 2

Tarot The Tower, Take 1

Thoth Tarot Trumps XVI The Tower

I felt scared. I don’t know why for sure. I mean, something about the Aeons and the Four thinking this was important, and Nero & Co. making sure I was ready and such, just suddenly was frightening. Why do I never think this stuff can hurt me? I wondered to myself. If it can help, it could hurt. Maybe sometimes there is a level of working with stuff where, if you really screw it up, it has some kind of consequences. I mean it doesn’t make sense to believe that a good med can totally change your body, life, and whole reality, but a bad med would just not matter at all. … I was getting the impression of visual via another route, via a kinesthetic like sense. It was very surreal. It had a shape and a twist in it that was just… it was just wrong, in that saturn-green-weird sort of way, I don’t mean wrong like evil, no I mean like, some geometry that is just not native to the dimension it’s being viewed within. … I thought about telling it hello, and saying the usual — “Welcome. I honor you. Thank you for talking with it.” But by the time I was halfway through that thought and the instant I began to imagine saying it — I went unconscious.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Tarot The Tower, Take 1

Tarot Adjustment, Take II

Thoth Tarot Trumps VIII Adjustment

The moment I arrived and took IG’s hands–already my mind trying to escape–and begged her to help hold my attention there, I began abreacting. Muscle spasms went crazy. … It is very obvious I have a severe problem with this archetype but I can’t really figure out why. It’s just a card, just a symbol like anything else, and yes I realize that all Tarot symbols are universal archetypes and extremely powerful, but since I honestly felt this was “my” card, I actually thought it would be fun and easy. … The insight was something like, “You are in denial and avoidance because she is Truth. Real Truth. All the parts of you that hide from the Truth — of who you really are, mostly, of who you are meant to be, of the potential you run from — they fear her light. Exposure to her will destroy and kill the lies that make up a good part of your reality and hide you from things you don’t want to know. Of course your subconscious is acting terrified.”

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Tarot Adjustment, Take II

Tarot Adjustment

Thoth Tarot Trumps VIII Adjustment

And then yesterday out of the blue I got the idea to meditate on Thoth’s “Adjustment” and its deeper archetypal meaning. I realized that IG is the source of these spontaneous insights, which hit when I am minding my own business doing something else. I think she wants me to think it’s my idea. I told my boyfriend that and he laughed. He said “That’s what you get for having a woman IG now! All the ideas will come from her but she’ll let you think it’s YOUR idea.” That seems pretty funny. Well so I thought I would meditate on that last night as my first request and then do one IG wanted. I went to bed early enough to make it happen. I lit incense and a small votive and did what I could to make it a ritual. But it was HARD. I had to drag myself back to the meditation a dozen times before I even got to the cave! I had dragged myself back a good two dozen times before I ever even made it to IG! I hadn’t expected it would be hard. To me it’s just a tarot card; so what? But this is probably the hardest med I have tried to do in I can’t remember how long, if I could barely even GET there and only with immense self discipline. And my mind kept sliding right off and I would yell, “Freeze! Now back up… what was I doing…” until I finally got back to realizing I was trying to meditate on adjustment and would go back to what I was doing. It was just crazy!

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Tarot Adjustment