I have found that:
  • → sincere prayer
  • → genuine intentions
  • → present-focus
  • → extended humor
  • → careful integrity
  • → constant work to discover and release all forms of bias in oneself
  • → dogged effort to pursue awareness, divine guidance and understanding
Leads a person to "interactive insight from the inside."

Consciously I want to evolve.
My ego resists strenuously.
I surreally "forget" so much!
So I blog for myself, mostly:
to re-read and remember.

People ask me where to begin with the complexity of the stuff on my blog. But my imaginal and related work spans 25 years as of 2016. So the real answer is "I don't know." I can't put all that in a sound bite. And one would have to understand, not just intellectually but experientially, a lot of it from start to middle to begin to understand where I am now. It is 'active imagination' work, resting on an extremely 'open' definition of archetype and energy, mapped at times to various occult patterns because they seem useful and otherwise just loosely personal; but that's not all. Short of how the blog speaks for itself that's about all I can say about it. It's a path I've built myself, for one. ~ Palyne

In the human spirit, as in the universe, nothing is higher or lower; everything has equal rights to a common center which manifests its hidden existence precisely through this harmonic relationship between every part and itself.
-- Goethe

Angels transcend every religion, every philosophy, every creed. In fact angels have no religion as we know it... their existence precedes every religious system that has ever existed on earth.
-- St. Thomas Aquinas

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In the beginning all was indivisible. And in becoming manifest, it became, seemingly, divisible. But the divisions must evolve to recognize themselves, and each other, and to then accept themselves, to truly know themselves by knowing each other. To begin, they are blended, confused; it is chaos, it is legion. They are all on the journey to indivisibility, to singularity, to the I AM. The point, of course, is not the destination, but the journey.

-- insight during the Princess of Disks meditation

Spiritual growth is like all other types: you absorb seemingly 'other' energy, and it becomes part of your own sense of identity. The growth is in awareness, and with that comes power which is always over Self.
Diversity is Legion;
Singularity is the I AM.
None of this is new although my approach to it is my own. -- Palyne

Inner Guide is Angelic. She is free of anything akin to doctrine. I call her an Angel because that is the only word I have for it, and because I know, all the way through me, that this is our word for her fundamentally divine nature. Aside from that, I don’t even know what she IS exactly, or what it means, or where it would fit into any model. She is life sized, soul wide, colors and gems and flowers and songs, everything beautiful that ever was, condensed into an identity I am completely in love with–except she feels like part of me too, so it’s like also being in love with yourself, and also with God, and also with the whole universe, both every tiny thing in your mundania, and ‘awareness’ as something so utterly, mind-bogglingly amazing — how could this exist? How could this not exist? How could I ever understand such a thing? — I am left only with joy, with awe.
-- on Inner Guide #4, aka 'Sedaena'. The first IG I had genuine conversation (and reading) with; the first real sign of my HGA.

He is so much inside and outside me, larger than me and yet the light of the tiniest particles of me, I don’t even have a word for whatever it is that he IS. I call him angelic and inner guide and the name he gave me because I have no idea what else to call this. It’s a Being and a Thing and an Event and a Place and a Relationship and… it’s like there is no label that is remotely big enough to encompass whatever it IS.
-- on Inner Guide #5, aka 'Mark.'

The boundary between the imaginational and imaginal is rather fuzzy and it is a developed skill and art to learn to stay there; to maintain your own autonomy while allowing the-others’ autonomy; to be shocked, astounded, grossed out, effused, and other surprise emotions from the interaction; all this without getting lost in the experience like a dream, yet also without pulling back to controlling the experience like a daydream. The former is being swept away by the river, and the latter is standing on the shore thinking about it; learning to walk the fine line of control and allowance to stay in that ‘imaginal realm’ actually takes practice. Crazy people think it’s all autonomous and happening ‘to’ them; people unable to allow this for themselves, may think it’s all imagination; and they’d both be right, because they are both lost; the goal is a whole world that bridges and encompasses both of those.

-- on "Interworlds Meditation"

Q: Where are you now?

Me: Well, back in my own reality.

Q: Wrong. You are in a reality version that distraction and denial have made for you.

Me: How do I get out?

Q: Wrong question. There is no space, there is no time. Where are you again?

Me: Oh. I’m wherever I "pay attention" to being.

Q: Right. You PAY attention. It is the currency of your soul. You rent your reality. Never forget that. The choice to move is yours.

Dealing with the unconscious has become a question of life for us.
The play of the imagination is incalculable.
~ Carl Jung

The imaginary can be innocuous, the imaginal never can.
~ Henry Corbin

A calling may be postponed, avoided, intermittently missed. It may also possess you completely. Whatever; eventually it will out. It makes its claim. The daimon does not go away.
~ James Hillman

There comes a time when the mind takes a higher plane of knowledge but can never prove how it got there.
-- Albert Einstein


This blog documents much of my work in the "inter-worlds" of a greater-self. It's not just esoteric: every thing corresponds — the mundane, the arcane, the divine. If it had to be summed up you might say it is "a universe of personalization." A strange place where monotheism and ultimate-pantheism are one and the same.

I am a natural mystic, if spontaneous experiences determine such a thing. I am not religious in any way; only guidance from the inside drives me. No identities or models unless they are introduced to me from the inside. (Sometimes I use them simply for interest, or because their models are convenient doorways -- but I accept none of their doctrines.) I briefly studied theology at one point, independently (I consider constant prayer a valid part of edu too), and where it led me was "anywhere-else." It's fine for others of course. I consider the heart of free will to be that everyone has their own road. Or as Heinlein once wrote, the right to go to hell in their own handbasket.

This tends to make me obsessed with the divine yet not religious at all, in any form, which is often confusing to onlookers. I am ever in love with and in closer pursuit of integration with The Christ (which I consider a solar-planetary deity, exceeding and preceding all possible religion, though cyclically present within our species) but I'm not remotely a modern Christian, and this also tends to be very confusing to onlookers. I'm a student of archetypes and pattern systems, yet not a jungian intellectual - armchair philosophy bores me - nor a power occultist - which has its own issues (and uniforms) to say the least.

After nearly two decades of certain experiences I felt alone with and thought were unique to me, it turns out I find some harmony in the gnostic writings. I didn't get it from there, and am not fond of that doctrine and the paradigms it came in with, so I ignore it. Which means despite talking about just a few things specific to it (by unknowing accident until a few years ago), I'm not part of that model either.

The road I walk is my own. It doesn't really have an easy label or anybody else on it, that I can see. This is between me and God, so it doesn't really need to work for anybody else. I used to wish I wasn't the only person with such experiences or practices, and started a blog in part in the hope I might find others with something similar. Maybe a need for community. I'm over that now, at least I think. I walk alone, but Light is with me. Can't ask for more than that.

-- Palyne

When we understand that perception is as much about source as target; that energy is a spectrum and best psi perception comes from the center, its balance and blend; that the manifest communication of our Selves is the literal 'reality' we experience; that everything in that reality is a profound 3D language element; that insight with the ‘center’ of spectrum is likely to be via the language-symbols of 'reality;' that these need to be interpreted at the level they are received; this is the path for intentional psi.
-- Insight on the Art of RV

Thoth Tarot Seven of Cups (Debauch)

Today I pulled up the post I’d put a card in and then closed and ignored for some time now, and realized: debauch. Oh my gosh — yes. Decadence and corruption — that’s the energy I’ve had open in my ‘focus’ during this time. When am I gonna learn that the minute I ‘open a card to begin’ its energy will be ever-present??

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Thoth Tarot Seven of Cups (Debauch)

A Talk With Monde

I think this was indirectly the answer, in a way: that I was probably trying to get him to tell me what he could do FOR me, and he was saying that in the end — whatever it is, I’m going to have to do it myself. Guides can assist; not replace. So sue me, maybe I was hoping for an easier answer.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at A Talk With Monde

Towers of Power and The Word

There was a sense of devastation. Of loneliness. Of emptiness. It was in every direction I looked. It felt “post-apocalyptic” just a little bit.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Towers of Power and The Word

Monde and Dragonshead Cove

…I have this flash of the most beautiful color of pink. In fact the color I know as pink really can’t even touch this. Pink is an insult to the glory of this color. It’s like a sort of rich rose, like it’s got several other dimensions that no color can have in my world. Then it’s gone, and the name seems to gradually roll out for me.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Monde and Dragonshead Cove

Notes to Self, 03 May 2012

it seemed as if the cells, the molecules, the atoms, of my body and immediate energy body, were — what is the word when a worm goes into a cocoon and comes out a butterfly? The pupae I think, a sort of mutation that there are no words for adequately describing the incredible nature of it I suspect. Anyway it was like they did that. I went through my whole body as it ‘converted’ every atom – molecule – cell to something a bit different and, I sensed, a nature that was ‘more flexible’ in the future than they have been. Bit offbeat, not very physical, probably as I was far too beta brainwave, oh well.

Prayed a bit and then that was that. This is the first time I’ve managed to do work with IG on my lunch break, which I never actually take, but did today. I’m going to try and start taking a lunch break to work with her.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Notes to Self, 03 May 2012

The Left-Side of Darkness

I was behind myself and I was pulling out, slowly, this short little barbed bramble-like thing, from a wound in the skin just under my left shoulder blade. (Oddly, this is the infamous spot where I sometimes get massive itching and have a back scratcher and demand my kid help me because it just goes nuts sometimes. I would not have thought this had any relation to anything at all.)

The barb seemed almost like a combination of iron (I commonly get that symbol in problem energy in me) and an actual branch or bramble, which I think means it is a symbol of something more organic/naturally growing. I spent a few minutes, as each would rise a little to the surface, pulling out these little sharp hard things, like little geometries with points, along with blood and so on, rather visceral.

Finally, I got the normal reminder-to-self I get whenever something seems like a long job, a line from that movie Inception: Dream Bigger.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at The Left-Side of Darkness

Solar Self Meets the Largers

I could hear behind me the rhythmic sound of sawing, like through wood. I decided to go find the source of the sawing sound. So I turned and walked that way, shortly coming on a man sawing a piece of wood.

It was the 3rd. I was a little nonplussed, as I thought this would be something like an archmed, but I reminded myself IG can do whatever she wants and I need to let go of assumptions.

Me: What are you doing here?

3rd: Building a structure to hold the light.

That made me go ‘hmmmn.’ I watched him for a bit. Damn but he is beautiful in his primary form that he presents to me in. He’s human-ish, slightly larger than our species, with the larger bluer more slanted eyes and white hair. After awhile I said, “I’ll join you.” And I stepped into him and we sawed together.

After a few moments of this, I felt IG suggesting I close my eyes and allow dark silence, which is often how we begin things.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Solar Self Meets the Largers

Punching Through

I asked my Aeons if anybody had any opinions on what this meant.

Someone volunteered that just because I was capable of meeting a few of my Largers didn’t mean I was fully ready for that, with a “sorceror’s-apprentice” concept overlay.

Another had the concept opinion that the Largers, once their attention includes me, will pull me in–my own ‘inspiration’ and decisions will be matched to theirs, as we overlap and they have more power than I do and that is their will–but that just because this is good for them (getting me closer), doesn’t necessarily mean it’s ideal for me at this time.

Here’s where the ‘punching through’ element of both sudden visuals/ conceptuals comes through: it felt like a reference to writings about kundalini and how if you’ve blocks in the energy body, the kundalini energy may burn through them but it ain’t pretty, and may instead be blocked or go around, all with some interesting results.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Punching Through

Larger 4th

I met the 4th ‘Larger’ as I call them (for lack of a clue on what they really are) recently.

I was in denial. This was clear even during the experience, and from my evasion of blogging about it. That also affected how much it impacted me during the experience, although he did some, and he told me at least three times “you need to breathe more,” and I had the predictable following three days of unbelievable sex drive.

I don’t remember much else now. Because I “couldn’t get around to” writing it down. Of course my working hours are much of that. Feeling a bit despairing about that, and the under-capacity situation at work.

Like the others I have no name for him (though I named them, later — Dominon, Pazyryk and Rahleon), no clue what he does, only that is part of the group that I am part of them, and they are really powerful.

Had a nightmare today that I lost my kid. Like sent her cross country to somewhere, turned out to be the wrong place, couldn’t find her, was very frustrating. She is ill. I am fighting to stay well.


MedList 7dec2010

I did all the typical stuff with him but it didn’t change him at all. I did get some rushing out of the water and wind but barely. I talked with him, are you my Larger, as I call them? and he said yes. I said, how come I don’t feel you at all? The others… they were so powerful. You, it’s like… you’re not real. He said, You’re not letting my energy through, is all. I said, Can you help me let you through? He seemed to try but the result was either not strong or not immediate. I formally asked him to keep working with me at all times until we are able to fully integrate. Then I asked for us to trade energy constructs we could work on integration with.

He ‘wove’ this net of golden light, like a cat’s cradle kind of thing with his hands, and the string of light had little brighter white specs in the gold. I felt as if he were literally giving me something related to the stars, it seemed both beautiful and cosmic. He made it fairly large and then he put it in my body, and it expanded to fill all of my body. I got some decent rushing from that, a couple waves of it, so apparently something worked. I made him a small but dense little energy ball labeled “Me.” and put it near the outside of his heart chakra.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at MedList 7dec2010

Waking Up to Pazyryk

I still don’t really understand what the Largers are for sure, or why they have such an effect, or how many there might be, but one thing is sure, when they really WANT to focus on me — as they have all done in the brief encounters I’ve had with them so far — I really feel it, hear it, see it, whatever. As if they are like my Aeons on-Steroids-of-the-Spirit or something.

So later that morning, I thought that might be an ideal time to do an Aeon round, and introduce my Largers to… er, my smallers, you might say — well anyway, to my Aeons, which seem to ‘compose me’, so it almost seems like I am somewhere between those two. One by one I formally introduced each Aeon to Pazyryk and asked him to help me integrate better with them, so I could integrate better with him, and me and the Aeon merged, and then I imagined (I had to imagine it, he wasn’t helping) Pazyryk to join the merge as well. Then after a few moments of positive energy, I just left them there together to do whatever they wished, and told the Aeon to tell me when they were done.
Various of them took various lengths until they said something. Taan the longest. But Taan is also, he said, the energies of both my body and how others and myself perceive my body, and Pazyryk is the guy who asked me ‘why my legs wouldn’t talk to him’, so maybe it relates somehow to that–I brought that up when I introduced them.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Waking Up to Pazyryk

IG med Dec01

I had the clear idea presented me that if I would commit to, for example, two meditations — they could be relatively brief — per day, letting IG drive whatever the content, every day, that she would be able to make a much larger, more complex and powerful planning, rather than only working on one thing in the once-in-a-great-while that I am not only meditating but giving her the driver’s seat. It was clear that if I really want the degree of scope/power/result I think I want, that I would make this happen, that it could make a really big, exponential difference.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at IG med Dec01