I have found that:
  • → sincere prayer
  • → genuine intentions
  • → present-focus
  • → extended humor
  • → careful integrity
  • → constant work to discover and release all forms of bias in oneself
  • → dogged effort to pursue awareness, divine guidance and understanding
Leads a person to "interactive insight from the inside."

Consciously I want to evolve.
My ego resists strenuously.
I surreally "forget" so much!
So I blog for myself, mostly:
to re-read and remember.

People ask me where to begin with the complexity of the stuff on my blog. But my imaginal and related work spans 25 years as of 2016. So the real answer is "I don't know." I can't put all that in a sound bite. And one would have to understand, not just intellectually but experientially, a lot of it from start to middle to begin to understand where I am now. It is 'active imagination' work, resting on an extremely 'open' definition of archetype and energy, mapped at times to various occult patterns because they seem useful and otherwise just loosely personal; but that's not all. Short of how the blog speaks for itself that's about all I can say about it. It's a path I've built myself, for one. ~ Palyne

In the human spirit, as in the universe, nothing is higher or lower; everything has equal rights to a common center which manifests its hidden existence precisely through this harmonic relationship between every part and itself.
-- Goethe

Angels transcend every religion, every philosophy, every creed. In fact angels have no religion as we know it... their existence precedes every religious system that has ever existed on earth.
-- St. Thomas Aquinas

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In the beginning all was indivisible. And in becoming manifest, it became, seemingly, divisible. But the divisions must evolve to recognize themselves, and each other, and to then accept themselves, to truly know themselves by knowing each other. To begin, they are blended, confused; it is chaos, it is legion. They are all on the journey to indivisibility, to singularity, to the I AM. The point, of course, is not the destination, but the journey.

-- insight during the Princess of Disks meditation

Spiritual growth is like all other types: you absorb seemingly 'other' energy, and it becomes part of your own sense of identity. The growth is in awareness, and with that comes power which is always over Self.
Diversity is Legion;
Singularity is the I AM.
None of this is new although my approach to it is my own. -- Palyne

Inner Guide is Angelic. She is free of anything akin to doctrine. I call her an Angel because that is the only word I have for it, and because I know, all the way through me, that this is our word for her fundamentally divine nature. Aside from that, I don’t even know what she IS exactly, or what it means, or where it would fit into any model. She is life sized, soul wide, colors and gems and flowers and songs, everything beautiful that ever was, condensed into an identity I am completely in love with–except she feels like part of me too, so it’s like also being in love with yourself, and also with God, and also with the whole universe, both every tiny thing in your mundania, and ‘awareness’ as something so utterly, mind-bogglingly amazing — how could this exist? How could this not exist? How could I ever understand such a thing? — I am left only with joy, with awe.
-- on Inner Guide #4, aka 'Sedaena'. The first IG I had genuine conversation (and reading) with; the first real sign of my HGA.

He is so much inside and outside me, larger than me and yet the light of the tiniest particles of me, I don’t even have a word for whatever it is that he IS. I call him angelic and inner guide and the name he gave me because I have no idea what else to call this. It’s a Being and a Thing and an Event and a Place and a Relationship and… it’s like there is no label that is remotely big enough to encompass whatever it IS.
-- on Inner Guide #5, aka 'Mark.'

The boundary between the imaginational and imaginal is rather fuzzy and it is a developed skill and art to learn to stay there; to maintain your own autonomy while allowing the-others’ autonomy; to be shocked, astounded, grossed out, effused, and other surprise emotions from the interaction; all this without getting lost in the experience like a dream, yet also without pulling back to controlling the experience like a daydream. The former is being swept away by the river, and the latter is standing on the shore thinking about it; learning to walk the fine line of control and allowance to stay in that ‘imaginal realm’ actually takes practice. Crazy people think it’s all autonomous and happening ‘to’ them; people unable to allow this for themselves, may think it’s all imagination; and they’d both be right, because they are both lost; the goal is a whole world that bridges and encompasses both of those.

-- on "Interworlds Meditation"

Q: Where are you now?

Me: Well, back in my own reality.

Q: Wrong. You are in a reality version that distraction and denial have made for you.

Me: How do I get out?

Q: Wrong question. There is no space, there is no time. Where are you again?

Me: Oh. I’m wherever I "pay attention" to being.

Q: Right. You PAY attention. It is the currency of your soul. You rent your reality. Never forget that. The choice to move is yours.

Dealing with the unconscious has become a question of life for us.
The play of the imagination is incalculable.
~ Carl Jung

The imaginary can be innocuous, the imaginal never can.
~ Henry Corbin

A calling may be postponed, avoided, intermittently missed. It may also possess you completely. Whatever; eventually it will out. It makes its claim. The daimon does not go away.
~ James Hillman

There comes a time when the mind takes a higher plane of knowledge but can never prove how it got there.
-- Albert Einstein


This blog documents much of my work in the "inter-worlds" of a greater-self. It's not just esoteric: every thing corresponds — the mundane, the arcane, the divine. If it had to be summed up you might say it is "a universe of personalization." A strange place where monotheism and ultimate-pantheism are one and the same.

I am a natural mystic, if spontaneous experiences determine such a thing. I am not religious in any way; only guidance from the inside drives me. No identities or models unless they are introduced to me from the inside. (Sometimes I use them simply for interest, or because their models are convenient doorways -- but I accept none of their doctrines.) I briefly studied theology at one point, independently (I consider constant prayer a valid part of edu too), and where it led me was "anywhere-else." It's fine for others of course. I consider the heart of free will to be that everyone has their own road. Or as Heinlein once wrote, the right to go to hell in their own handbasket.

This tends to make me obsessed with the divine yet not religious at all, in any form, which is often confusing to onlookers. I am ever in love with and in closer pursuit of integration with The Christ (which I consider a solar-planetary deity, exceeding and preceding all possible religion, though cyclically present within our species) but I'm not remotely a modern Christian, and this also tends to be very confusing to onlookers. I'm a student of archetypes and pattern systems, yet not a jungian intellectual - armchair philosophy bores me - nor a power occultist - which has its own issues (and uniforms) to say the least.

After nearly two decades of certain experiences I felt alone with and thought were unique to me, it turns out I find some harmony in the gnostic writings. I didn't get it from there, and am not fond of that doctrine and the paradigms it came in with, so I ignore it. Which means despite talking about just a few things specific to it (by unknowing accident until a few years ago), I'm not part of that model either.

The road I walk is my own. It doesn't really have an easy label or anybody else on it, that I can see. This is between me and God, so it doesn't really need to work for anybody else. I used to wish I wasn't the only person with such experiences or practices, and started a blog in part in the hope I might find others with something similar. Maybe a need for community. I'm over that now, at least I think. I walk alone, but Light is with me. Can't ask for more than that.

-- Palyne

When we understand that perception is as much about source as target; that energy is a spectrum and best psi perception comes from the center, its balance and blend; that the manifest communication of our Selves is the literal 'reality' we experience; that everything in that reality is a profound 3D language element; that insight with the ‘center’ of spectrum is likely to be via the language-symbols of 'reality;' that these need to be interpreted at the level they are received; this is the path for intentional psi.
-- Insight on the Art of RV

Crown Chakra Review

My crown chakra once had an experiential-conversation with me and showed me some detail about its nature. Since that time I have had various insights. I’ve decided to write down what I feel is my greater understanding of it, now that it’s had more time to assimilate in me and be improved by further experience.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Crown Chakra Review

Slower Suicide

I was meandering through the house initially, lost in thought.

I was thinking about a post on chocolate (my super-tiny private forum) where I’d basically–to paraphrase and sum up–said that my problem eating decently is the biggest real problem I have. Being supersized and not young anymore it’s a serious health issue, and it affects my psychology as much or more than my body.

When I really ponder the overall issue, I see that while there are a few things specific to my size, most things boil down more to the effects that eating poorly or just not eating well “enough” (particularly enough protein for my large body size) have on me.

Part of me observed that I’ve been eating gluten and not even bothering with gluten-ease. I can barely breathe from the asthma response.

Another part agreed with the ‘tone’ of that, and pointed out that I haven’t been taking any supplements, with or without food issues. And that even if I wanted to eat poorly that’s no reason not to take supplements given malnutrition is likely at the heart of a lot of my metabolic problems.

The first part said that was a lot like how I could work out even a little, no matter how I was eating, if I wanted to bother.

I interrupted all this with, “So, really, the problem is fundamental self-destructive behavior.”

Sudden silence.

The beliefs you think are hidden are never really hidden, a different aspect said clearly in a wiser-one way.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Slower Suicide

Shape is the Language of Form

Shape is the language of form.

I had a whole inner realization about that recently. Everything, from the fairly unique size and shape of your liver, to McDonald’s golden arches, to a crumpled-up gum wrapper, everything has meaning.

We may be oblivious to what that is, as oblivious as we are to what the birds are saying or what a cloud pattern means, but it’s there. All of reality is talking to us with its very existence.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Shape is the Language of Form

IG med Dec01

I had the clear idea presented me that if I would commit to, for example, two meditations — they could be relatively brief — per day, letting IG drive whatever the content, every day, that she would be able to make a much larger, more complex and powerful planning, rather than only working on one thing in the once-in-a-great-while that I am not only meditating but giving her the driver’s seat. It was clear that if I really want the degree of scope/power/result I think I want, that I would make this happen, that it could make a really big, exponential difference.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at IG med Dec01

Musing on QBL, the Four, and Geekiness

As I laid in bed and mused on this, the no-brainer stuff that I thought I already knew but obviously didn’t (given the ‘aha’ moment) sunk into me: Each of these energies is time, is space, is form, is dynamic, is some-thing, is no-thing, is an “entity”, and is a full rich pie-slice of “the universe”. They aren’t just cards. Not just labels. Not just “someone’s way of making categories.” They are utterly *alive*, in a very rich way that is far more complex than we are, frankly, at least our focus-personalities. I thought about the QBL Tree of Life and how Crowley had his Thoth tarot attributions articulated upon it. I thought about those, and about meditating with that. And I suddenly just understood, I mean really and truly “grokked” it: The tarot is a map of the manifest universe, and the Tree of Life is a map of the divine structure, and the two of them conjoined are a map of the Soul. Large capital S. And that the soul IS everything else: it is the geometry of the planets and the cells, the motion of the tides and the cycles of friendship, minerals and butterflies, it’s just the perspective you’ve got on it.

I spent some time today speed reading a variety of stuff on QBL, Tree of Life, various mappings of attributes to it, and even another tiny tidbit of the ‘gnostic’ stuff that had mentioned the Aeons. Concerning most — not all, but most — of the above, I again have the same inner feeling I did last time I was stupid enough to do this. It feels dead. It feels like stumbling on a dead language. No, it feels like stumbling on a bunch of armchair intellectuals who have pontificated at lengths that makes ME look like the soul of brevity, about their opinions on obscure points of someone else’s opinion, of how some other idea or mental model should be, with reference to what 8 other people in history thought, about two words in a dead language. For godssakes! I read at enormous speed when I try, and even I cannot get through most of this stuff. It feels like it is sucking the moisture out of my soul with its mental-masturbation level of intellectual agony. … to this day we are still looking at a whole legion of diverging opinions about the few most basic systems of modeling these concepts. And the dry intellectualism of it! My god! Not since Dickens spent pages writing about what someone thought as they turned a doorknob have I read authors who could so kill all interest in a topic the more they spoke of it. … It’s like the heavy history of mystic studies has weighed down even the internet, long the last-bastion of irrepressible mirth and creativity.

To me, these Tarot energies, and the Sephira and paths, are the ultimate in alive, and an awesome potential for creative interaction. Maybe it’s just a bad day with google, but today it seems like most people are either busy thinking they already have all the answers, or studying someone else’s version of all the answers. If they’re being creative and working on their own, they are not inclined to share about it, apparently. I’m riding the short bus alone.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Musing on QBL, the Four, and Geekiness


Ha! The first tiny symptoms of actually getting what I asked for in my ‘commitment’ meditation are showing up. So far… I didn’t even realize it until now and today I’ve been oblivious. Now I realize, I have been reacting like it’s metaphysical Whack-A-Mole! or something.

Hey, what is that doing in my reality?! Whack!!

A bit ago, I randomly (sort of) thought of my right leg (I forget why but there was some reason). This made me remember the archmed I once did on that and the amazing initial visual. Then I thought of the vast amount of STUFF in my right leg from toes to hip when you look at it from a macro level — it’s really quite amazing when you think about it, even as its own ‘thing’.

It’s a whole world on its own I thought, at the same time as inside my head, a ‘small planet with amazing colorful social spaceport’ image + concept bloomed, replete with the sense of moving hovercars and more below. I thought to myself, Oh, well THAT’s imaginative! Hey, drop that or it’ll screw up your next archmed. Remember you wanted to try that again. If you make up stuff, your med might pick up that complex fantasy symbolism, instead of whatever was natural to the archmed.

Then I felt inside, like a corrective answer (is this IG responding to my pleading to talk to me more pointedly during normal life? It feels more like the Aeons

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Whack-a-Mole!


IG doesn’t normally talk a lot and it occurs to me with some humor that she is as singularly unhelpful as most ‘spiritual entities’ at the moment. IG I don’t want this right now I said. I cannot doubt myself at this point, it’s important I keep the faith in myself and my experience. And some new entity(s) I don’t even know or understand make me doubt myself all over again. Like WHY is this here, am I making this up for entertainment? For goddsakes, I already have more entities inside me than anybody sane!!

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Commitment

Overlapping Layers

I saw the Senior more clearly last night than I ever have.

Earlier I had decided to do something about the ongoing randy energy I’d had for days and, since I have no conscious relationship with (the Aeon) Hot Amanakhaton, I gave him that energy. During that event I felt like I had more awareness on his part, more interaction, than normal. It worked well enough, which is to say that it was about to be really fabulous on climax and then the energy was GONE given to him. It’s so weird how that works. It certainly takes the fun out of it at that point!

Later I went to the tower, I felt I should for some reason. I felt more ‘aware’ of all the three of them than usual. And then there he was, the Senior. I was just stunned that I could see him so well. Most the time I can’t see him at all, or barely a sense of him, except rare flashes.

I said, “But– but– but you’re a white guy, how did this happen? Last times I thought I saw you, you were –” and he changes and he is the guy I remember: really tall, with the dusky skin, the sense of ‘vaguely red, vaguely asian’ that I think our people sometimes encounter as a type of alien. I realize that of course we are many people and the others, especially he and the Queen, can be in any form they choose. He

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Overlapping Layers

Mapping the Inner Realm

I was at amazon.com looking at books for the kid’s homeschooling tonight when I chanced on one book that looked really great, more layman than textbook. The cover was really cool too, everything had this nifty colorful cool looking symbol. Then I chanced on another book that is a focus on a big beautiful photograph of every element in the periodic table. And it hit me upside the head.


THIS is how the universe really IS ‘divided and mapped’!

It isn’t culturally based. It’s a fundamental. The building blocks of reality!

Anything manifest is powerfully dense energetically. I “feel” this is more important than I’m even capable of comprehending right now.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Mapping the Inner Realm

Captain of the Guard

This is an experience I had near the end of 1993 I believe. Although I’ve written it down to others a few times, it’s not in my formal archives and I have no idea where to find it, so I thought I would record it again for posterity. I remembered it after reading the latest post on the Cobalt Sigil blog.

I was definitely in a trance state, but not deeply; I was resting, having finished email, and was considering what to do about dinner, as I gazed mindlessly out my back sliding glass door. It was still very light outside though evening was approaching fast, and I was feeling a bit languid and didn’t much feel like getting up and doing anything.

It took me a little while to realize that something had just happened. Often this kind of thing actually goes on for a bit before my conscious mind clues in and decides to pay attention. I had just “shared” the experience of an entity.


He had traveled far to make the request. Journeyed among many lands and strange creatures to get to the place where you could make a petition to the Gods. Maybe if you were lucky, the Gods might hear you; there was no other choice, now.

He carried the sword the King had given him personally, and he felt heavy with the responsibility. He carried the weight of worry in his heart, and the fate of

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Captain of the Guard

Remote Viewing and Energy

I would subtitle this “IG Points Out the Obvious”.

This morning me and my best friend were having a discussion about viewing — which we do regularly of course. I don’t even remember all the talk, but I remember what I was thinking about afterward. Mostly, it came down to this:

Why? When we get the totally wrong target, why? When we clearly perceive specific data, and it turns out to be wrong, why?

I don’t care about data you screw up on your own, which is the majority of problem data frankly. I don’t care about poor contact or process issues. All of those are visible at feedback, and you can learn from feedback, and that is a sport-skill. No, I am talking about when a viewer has good contact, has a clear experience, and yet that is not about the target intended. In that instance feedback is useless, is more harm than help to likely psi experience, and we don’t learn anything except not to trust ourselves.

Everybody has this in RV; nobody is exempt. Everybody seems to accept that’s the way it is. Even in the professional lab, viewers will include ‘getting the correct target to start with’ as a separate statistic; one may say, “I’m on target about 68% of the time, but when I am, about 92% of my data is accurate.” Everybody accepts that some portion of the time, a viewer

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Remote Viewing and Energy

Arch-Dreams and Chaos

I started abreacting. I would have a thought or start an arch-dream and my body would jerk violently in one place or another, mostly lower body. I could literally feel it this time, as if energy-which-is-also-information were trying to run through my nervous system, but blocks were “shunting it off” with muscle spams.

It got more severe. At one point, I found myself in this arch-dream and I went, “Hey! Hey, I remember this now! This is where I was last night! This–” and an abreaction so severe that my entire body spasmed wildly hit me. I forgot everything except that last thought. But at least it made me realize that I didn’t just pass out in the middle of a thought last night; I was doing “something”, I just don’t remember what.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Arch-Dreams and Chaos