I have found that:
  • → sincere prayer
  • → genuine intentions
  • → present-focus
  • → extended humor
  • → careful integrity
  • → constant work to discover and release all forms of bias in oneself
  • → dogged effort to pursue awareness, divine guidance and understanding
Leads a person to "interactive insight from the inside."

Consciously I want to evolve.
My ego resists strenuously.
I surreally "forget" so much!
So I blog for myself, mostly:
to re-read and remember.

People ask me where to begin with the complexity of the stuff on my blog. But my imaginal and related work spans 25 years as of 2016. So the real answer is "I don't know." I can't put all that in a sound bite. And one would have to understand, not just intellectually but experientially, a lot of it from start to middle to begin to understand where I am now. It is 'active imagination' work, resting on an extremely 'open' definition of archetype and energy, mapped at times to various occult patterns because they seem useful and otherwise just loosely personal; but that's not all. Short of how the blog speaks for itself that's about all I can say about it. It's a path I've built myself, for one. ~ Palyne

In the human spirit, as in the universe, nothing is higher or lower; everything has equal rights to a common center which manifests its hidden existence precisely through this harmonic relationship between every part and itself.
-- Goethe

Angels transcend every religion, every philosophy, every creed. In fact angels have no religion as we know it... their existence precedes every religious system that has ever existed on earth.
-- St. Thomas Aquinas

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In the beginning all was indivisible. And in becoming manifest, it became, seemingly, divisible. But the divisions must evolve to recognize themselves, and each other, and to then accept themselves, to truly know themselves by knowing each other. To begin, they are blended, confused; it is chaos, it is legion. They are all on the journey to indivisibility, to singularity, to the I AM. The point, of course, is not the destination, but the journey.

-- insight during the Princess of Disks meditation

Spiritual growth is like all other types: you absorb seemingly 'other' energy, and it becomes part of your own sense of identity. The growth is in awareness, and with that comes power which is always over Self.
Diversity is Legion;
Singularity is the I AM.
None of this is new although my approach to it is my own. -- Palyne

Inner Guide is Angelic. She is free of anything akin to doctrine. I call her an Angel because that is the only word I have for it, and because I know, all the way through me, that this is our word for her fundamentally divine nature. Aside from that, I don’t even know what she IS exactly, or what it means, or where it would fit into any model. She is life sized, soul wide, colors and gems and flowers and songs, everything beautiful that ever was, condensed into an identity I am completely in love with–except she feels like part of me too, so it’s like also being in love with yourself, and also with God, and also with the whole universe, both every tiny thing in your mundania, and ‘awareness’ as something so utterly, mind-bogglingly amazing — how could this exist? How could this not exist? How could I ever understand such a thing? — I am left only with joy, with awe.
-- on Inner Guide #4, aka 'Sedaena'. The first IG I had genuine conversation (and reading) with; the first real sign of my HGA.

He is so much inside and outside me, larger than me and yet the light of the tiniest particles of me, I don’t even have a word for whatever it is that he IS. I call him angelic and inner guide and the name he gave me because I have no idea what else to call this. It’s a Being and a Thing and an Event and a Place and a Relationship and… it’s like there is no label that is remotely big enough to encompass whatever it IS.
-- on Inner Guide #5, aka 'Mark.'

The boundary between the imaginational and imaginal is rather fuzzy and it is a developed skill and art to learn to stay there; to maintain your own autonomy while allowing the-others’ autonomy; to be shocked, astounded, grossed out, effused, and other surprise emotions from the interaction; all this without getting lost in the experience like a dream, yet also without pulling back to controlling the experience like a daydream. The former is being swept away by the river, and the latter is standing on the shore thinking about it; learning to walk the fine line of control and allowance to stay in that ‘imaginal realm’ actually takes practice. Crazy people think it’s all autonomous and happening ‘to’ them; people unable to allow this for themselves, may think it’s all imagination; and they’d both be right, because they are both lost; the goal is a whole world that bridges and encompasses both of those.

-- on "Interworlds Meditation"

Q: Where are you now?

Me: Well, back in my own reality.

Q: Wrong. You are in a reality version that distraction and denial have made for you.

Me: How do I get out?

Q: Wrong question. There is no space, there is no time. Where are you again?

Me: Oh. I’m wherever I "pay attention" to being.

Q: Right. You PAY attention. It is the currency of your soul. You rent your reality. Never forget that. The choice to move is yours.

Dealing with the unconscious has become a question of life for us.
The play of the imagination is incalculable.
~ Carl Jung

The imaginary can be innocuous, the imaginal never can.
~ Henry Corbin

A calling may be postponed, avoided, intermittently missed. It may also possess you completely. Whatever; eventually it will out. It makes its claim. The daimon does not go away.
~ James Hillman

There comes a time when the mind takes a higher plane of knowledge but can never prove how it got there.
-- Albert Einstein


This blog documents much of my work in the "inter-worlds" of a greater-self. It's not just esoteric: every thing corresponds — the mundane, the arcane, the divine. If it had to be summed up you might say it is "a universe of personalization." A strange place where monotheism and ultimate-pantheism are one and the same.

I am a natural mystic, if spontaneous experiences determine such a thing. I am not religious in any way; only guidance from the inside drives me. No identities or models unless they are introduced to me from the inside. (Sometimes I use them simply for interest, or because their models are convenient doorways -- but I accept none of their doctrines.) I briefly studied theology at one point, independently (I consider constant prayer a valid part of edu too), and where it led me was "anywhere-else." It's fine for others of course. I consider the heart of free will to be that everyone has their own road. Or as Heinlein once wrote, the right to go to hell in their own handbasket.

This tends to make me obsessed with the divine yet not religious at all, in any form, which is often confusing to onlookers. I am ever in love with and in closer pursuit of integration with The Christ (which I consider a solar-planetary deity, exceeding and preceding all possible religion, though cyclically present within our species) but I'm not remotely a modern Christian, and this also tends to be very confusing to onlookers. I'm a student of archetypes and pattern systems, yet not a jungian intellectual - armchair philosophy bores me - nor a power occultist - which has its own issues (and uniforms) to say the least.

After nearly two decades of certain experiences I felt alone with and thought were unique to me, it turns out I find some harmony in the gnostic writings. I didn't get it from there, and am not fond of that doctrine and the paradigms it came in with, so I ignore it. Which means despite talking about just a few things specific to it (by unknowing accident until a few years ago), I'm not part of that model either.

The road I walk is my own. It doesn't really have an easy label or anybody else on it, that I can see. This is between me and God, so it doesn't really need to work for anybody else. I used to wish I wasn't the only person with such experiences or practices, and started a blog in part in the hope I might find others with something similar. Maybe a need for community. I'm over that now, at least I think. I walk alone, but Light is with me. Can't ask for more than that.

-- Palyne

When we understand that perception is as much about source as target; that energy is a spectrum and best psi perception comes from the center, its balance and blend; that the manifest communication of our Selves is the literal 'reality' we experience; that everything in that reality is a profound 3D language element; that insight with the ‘center’ of spectrum is likely to be via the language-symbols of 'reality;' that these need to be interpreted at the level they are received; this is the path for intentional psi.
-- Insight on the Art of RV

IG5 is Mark. Really.

I got lost in half-sleep and half-something and at one point awhile later, surfaced long enough to realize I was still sitting against him on the couch, and I opened my eyes a little and tilted my head back at him, and he looked down at me and said, Mark. I sleepily started laughing then, because I’m such a total dork, with my ego and pre-set beliefs about the most retarded things, and then I lost awareness again. I woke up this morning and the first thing I heard in my head was, Mark.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at IG5 is Mark. Really.

Power and Identity

I feel so ruthless, I whispered to J’rend in my head, as if I’d confessed something intimate.

I know, he whispered back. We all do. That is the effect of the power.

It kept growing, until I could feel a whole universe of me that was nothing but hunger. Utterly ruthless, merciless, consuming.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Power and Identity


She says there will be an official change with introduction to the new IG soon.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Sedaena

IG Gives Notice

I don’t want her to leave me. Not when I finally love her madly. This is when the last IG left, when I loved him madly, although it feels like it was nowhere near as strong as this. The Four had told me that this feeling represents a “state of development” and for a long time I was even afraid to let myself too close to IG lest it would result in her abandoning me to a new IG. Sure enough, I truly trust and I truly let the love in and now she is apparently going to leave me soon.

I don’t care how appropriate everyone else inside thinks it is. I think it’s horrible.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at IG Gives Notice


Him: You already know I’m a guide.

Me: And charming you are, too.

3rd inside me: I like him!

Me to 3rd: You would.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at J’rend


Yesterday I was watching a variety of “time-lapse star videos.” They are so beautiful, especially with nice music. Here are some links. You’ll want HD and fullscreen and headphones for these.

The not-even-subconscious, nearly-overwhelming, passive-aggressive and self-sabotage feelings do seem to have rather radically lifted after last night’s meditation. And my feelings and behavior today have been a whole lot better.

Later, we had a rather offbeat meditation.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Stars


A man with dark-blonde shaggy hair was holding something small out to me in his hand for a bit before I realized it. I took it and asked him if he were the archetype. He said he was a guide. Name? Ronan. I wasn’t going to argue how easy it was as imagination. If my head wants to imagine guides with names easy to understand, fine with me. I’m weary of the alternative. I’ve begun to understand that there is no advantage to things being hard. It doesn’t make them any more real.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Dominants

The Spark of the Divine

I have a crush on her like I’ve never had on a human, if one could. I never so wanted to be nicer and sweeter to anybody or anything. I never felt so overwhelmingly honored, so fall-on-your-face-and-thank-God-for-it grateful, for the mere existence of an identity. Glorious.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at The Spark of the Divine

Sweet Divine

I have begun to consider her literally a local fragment of divine will, genuinely spiritual. I don’t recall Steinbrecher ever mentioning this which I find odd. Is everyone’s 4th IG Angelic?

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Sweet Divine

Notes to Self, 20 Mar 12

Early morning: Made some graphic ‘sigils’ of the first group of Aeons, from the current round. I am not yet sure if I will do something with this, or if this concept of sigils (meaning, a specific combination of energies in a specific sequence) even means anything or not.

Morning to afternoon: Did ‘breathing with’ Nero, Bolehren, Marcan and Taan. Got that idea of 10 slow deep breaths, breathing them in, breathing them out, from Dominon (who was Mondnom at the time, I’d just met him) as it was his idea and he was doing that with me. Seems to work pretty well.

I gave them each a tablet of signed slips for ‘override’ of my defenses-etc. Got that idea of the blank check or “decree” from the arch in The Devic Kingdom of Me meditation.


Late Afternoon: Briefly talked with the recent guide I met w/IG who said he handled “Instinctual things, habitual, ritual things, and natively programmed instincts.” Tried to get his name. Instead of a name I just see this color/shape that reminds me of some stacked figs I once saw in a magazine ad. Oddly, it seems reasonable that if it were translated into sound, it might be a sound “with ‘ee’ in the middle, except sideways.” The spacial stuff that mixes with sound is just so weird! I bet this is Nedlund’s area — sound that has ‘extra dimension’. Or throat chakra, since I notice there are

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Notes to Self, 20 Mar 12

Good Humor and Miscellany

At some point in there I was thinking about the gem chakra world and (they?) suggested that I should work on getting — this is my phrasing, it was a translation even at the time — “something of each chakra in each day.”

So for example, something related to (as one option) survival for the root — doing something constructive toward your future or health or safety I got would work for that. Not just something on paper or mental, something you gotta do with your body. And, something that is creative, sexual or ideally both, for the 2nd. Something that is intentional ‘discipline’ for the third, I got that would match it well. Something specific to the heart and I got that in the absence of having gushing love at that moment for something or someone, ‘gratitude’ was another ‘aspect’ of love. Something for the throat, and I had a hard time translating this and might have messed it up but I think they were suggesting that speaking or singing ‘with truth’ here; not just writing or talking normally, but something that is core to me, something that feels important and meaningful, in which I have as much ‘integrity’ as possible. Something for the ajna, and I got that if I were meditating even a little that was going to be taken care of anyway. And something for the crown, and I had the sense that intentional prayer, divine-will sort of focus, was ideal for that.

I had this concept-overlay during all this, like there are recipes for how to eat or exercise each day, there are ‘plans’ for how to live like mindfulness and meditation schedules, but why not a plan for the ‘overall self’ instead? Like a “chakra plan,” given the positive and healthy spectrum of elements that would bring into one’s daily life on purpose?

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Good Humor and Miscellany

Midnight Session, 13Dec2011

I did the chakras of the joints as well and I couldn’t help notice that when really focus-allowing, I felt a sense of holiness after everything. My hip joints, my wrists, everything, was just intense and had great profound meaning and manifestation, when I was just realize, almost agog at that moment, how for example my shoulder connecting my arm to my body was like this massive energy that was a catalyst and a translator and a negotiator and the ultimate flexible tool and politic and was like this entire creature or being intentionally designed to be the functional, flexible, powerful interface between the ‘sense of self’ and every concept you can think of related to reaching out, defending, holding up, pulling-from, everything, like there was an entire section of the universe summed up in the energy of these chakras.

Every chakra, even the tiny ones, are like a tarot of their own, an Aeon of sorts, a collection of energy divine and composed of a certain energy of the universe.

At one moment that I realized and then forgot again, as if I couldn’t hold the state of mind needed for it, I totally grokked how my body is the literal manifestation of energies of the universe, which can be divided by ‘my body’ or by ‘tarot’ or by ‘the universe of objects’ or by ‘the table of elements+’ or by numbers or by any other thing, but the important thing was that my body particularly chakras as this is what I was focused on, was like a major intense, density collection of certain key/core concepts/functions… this is very hard to explain. It was amazing and holy and I was so honored.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Midnight Session, 13Dec2011