I have found that:
  • → sincere prayer
  • → genuine intentions
  • → present-focus
  • → extended humor
  • → careful integrity
  • → constant work to discover and release all forms of bias in oneself
  • → dogged effort to pursue awareness, divine guidance and understanding
Leads a person to "interactive insight from the inside."

Consciously I want to evolve.
My ego resists strenuously.
I surreally "forget" so much!
So I blog for myself, mostly:
to re-read and remember.

People ask me where to begin with the complexity of the stuff on my blog. But my imaginal and related work spans 25 years as of 2016. So the real answer is "I don't know." I can't put all that in a sound bite. And one would have to understand, not just intellectually but experientially, a lot of it from start to middle to begin to understand where I am now. It is 'active imagination' work, resting on an extremely 'open' definition of archetype and energy, mapped at times to various occult patterns because they seem useful and otherwise just loosely personal; but that's not all. Short of how the blog speaks for itself that's about all I can say about it. It's a path I've built myself, for one. ~ Palyne

In the human spirit, as in the universe, nothing is higher or lower; everything has equal rights to a common center which manifests its hidden existence precisely through this harmonic relationship between every part and itself.
-- Goethe

Angels transcend every religion, every philosophy, every creed. In fact angels have no religion as we know it... their existence precedes every religious system that has ever existed on earth.
-- St. Thomas Aquinas

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In the beginning all was indivisible. And in becoming manifest, it became, seemingly, divisible. But the divisions must evolve to recognize themselves, and each other, and to then accept themselves, to truly know themselves by knowing each other. To begin, they are blended, confused; it is chaos, it is legion. They are all on the journey to indivisibility, to singularity, to the I AM. The point, of course, is not the destination, but the journey.

-- insight during the Princess of Disks meditation

Spiritual growth is like all other types: you absorb seemingly 'other' energy, and it becomes part of your own sense of identity. The growth is in awareness, and with that comes power which is always over Self.
Diversity is Legion;
Singularity is the I AM.
None of this is new although my approach to it is my own. -- Palyne

Inner Guide is Angelic. She is free of anything akin to doctrine. I call her an Angel because that is the only word I have for it, and because I know, all the way through me, that this is our word for her fundamentally divine nature. Aside from that, I don’t even know what she IS exactly, or what it means, or where it would fit into any model. She is life sized, soul wide, colors and gems and flowers and songs, everything beautiful that ever was, condensed into an identity I am completely in love with–except she feels like part of me too, so it’s like also being in love with yourself, and also with God, and also with the whole universe, both every tiny thing in your mundania, and ‘awareness’ as something so utterly, mind-bogglingly amazing — how could this exist? How could this not exist? How could I ever understand such a thing? — I am left only with joy, with awe.
-- on Inner Guide #4, aka 'Sedaena'. The first IG I had genuine conversation (and reading) with; the first real sign of my HGA.

He is so much inside and outside me, larger than me and yet the light of the tiniest particles of me, I don’t even have a word for whatever it is that he IS. I call him angelic and inner guide and the name he gave me because I have no idea what else to call this. It’s a Being and a Thing and an Event and a Place and a Relationship and… it’s like there is no label that is remotely big enough to encompass whatever it IS.
-- on Inner Guide #5, aka 'Mark.'

The boundary between the imaginational and imaginal is rather fuzzy and it is a developed skill and art to learn to stay there; to maintain your own autonomy while allowing the-others’ autonomy; to be shocked, astounded, grossed out, effused, and other surprise emotions from the interaction; all this without getting lost in the experience like a dream, yet also without pulling back to controlling the experience like a daydream. The former is being swept away by the river, and the latter is standing on the shore thinking about it; learning to walk the fine line of control and allowance to stay in that ‘imaginal realm’ actually takes practice. Crazy people think it’s all autonomous and happening ‘to’ them; people unable to allow this for themselves, may think it’s all imagination; and they’d both be right, because they are both lost; the goal is a whole world that bridges and encompasses both of those.

-- on "Interworlds Meditation"

Q: Where are you now?

Me: Well, back in my own reality.

Q: Wrong. You are in a reality version that distraction and denial have made for you.

Me: How do I get out?

Q: Wrong question. There is no space, there is no time. Where are you again?

Me: Oh. I’m wherever I "pay attention" to being.

Q: Right. You PAY attention. It is the currency of your soul. You rent your reality. Never forget that. The choice to move is yours.

Dealing with the unconscious has become a question of life for us.
The play of the imagination is incalculable.
~ Carl Jung

The imaginary can be innocuous, the imaginal never can.
~ Henry Corbin

A calling may be postponed, avoided, intermittently missed. It may also possess you completely. Whatever; eventually it will out. It makes its claim. The daimon does not go away.
~ James Hillman

There comes a time when the mind takes a higher plane of knowledge but can never prove how it got there.
-- Albert Einstein


This blog documents much of my work in the "inter-worlds" of a greater-self. It's not just esoteric: every thing corresponds — the mundane, the arcane, the divine. If it had to be summed up you might say it is "a universe of personalization." A strange place where monotheism and ultimate-pantheism are one and the same.

I am a natural mystic, if spontaneous experiences determine such a thing. I am not religious in any way; only guidance from the inside drives me. No identities or models unless they are introduced to me from the inside. (Sometimes I use them simply for interest, or because their models are convenient doorways -- but I accept none of their doctrines.) I briefly studied theology at one point, independently (I consider constant prayer a valid part of edu too), and where it led me was "anywhere-else." It's fine for others of course. I consider the heart of free will to be that everyone has their own road. Or as Heinlein once wrote, the right to go to hell in their own handbasket.

This tends to make me obsessed with the divine yet not religious at all, in any form, which is often confusing to onlookers. I am ever in love with and in closer pursuit of integration with The Christ (which I consider a solar-planetary deity, exceeding and preceding all possible religion, though cyclically present within our species) but I'm not remotely a modern Christian, and this also tends to be very confusing to onlookers. I'm a student of archetypes and pattern systems, yet not a jungian intellectual - armchair philosophy bores me - nor a power occultist - which has its own issues (and uniforms) to say the least.

After nearly two decades of certain experiences I felt alone with and thought were unique to me, it turns out I find some harmony in the gnostic writings. I didn't get it from there, and am not fond of that doctrine and the paradigms it came in with, so I ignore it. Which means despite talking about just a few things specific to it (by unknowing accident until a few years ago), I'm not part of that model either.

The road I walk is my own. It doesn't really have an easy label or anybody else on it, that I can see. This is between me and God, so it doesn't really need to work for anybody else. I used to wish I wasn't the only person with such experiences or practices, and started a blog in part in the hope I might find others with something similar. Maybe a need for community. I'm over that now, at least I think. I walk alone, but Light is with me. Can't ask for more than that.

-- Palyne

When we understand that perception is as much about source as target; that energy is a spectrum and best psi perception comes from the center, its balance and blend; that the manifest communication of our Selves is the literal 'reality' we experience; that everything in that reality is a profound 3D language element; that insight with the ‘center’ of spectrum is likely to be via the language-symbols of 'reality;' that these need to be interpreted at the level they are received; this is the path for intentional psi.
-- Insight on the Art of RV

Archmed Self-Sabotage

I look around the ‘world’ I can’t see too clearly. “I suspect this is ALL guising,” I say. “Self! Remove the glam and show me what is really here!” I command.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Archmed Self-Sabotage

Midnight Mass w/IG Sun 19 Aug

I said, How symbolic, IG, that I am climbing a mountain for you. Once I reached the top it was actually a fairly flat, slightly sloped landscape, and I walked down into it until I was surrounded by trees.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Midnight Mass w/IG Sun 19 Aug

Tek Med, 01 Aug 2013

The back of my head says that I have seen a photograph ‘similar’ (not exact) to this, of some kind of rock or mineral, which had this bristly, stiff-hair like growth on it. Like natural light-brown hairbrush-bristles but super thin tubes like hair or crystal.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Tek Med, 01 Aug 2013

Foot Med

Today I got a spontaneous visualization. Basically this means I was minding my own business when I suddenly appeared to ‘be’ in the midst of an archetype-style environment or process, but I hadn’t done anything to intentionally get myself there.

I was looking at a foot that I understood to be my own right foot. But I was only focused on ‘it’ in front of me as its own archetype-like symbol. The foot was turned, toes to my left, so I was seeing the inside of the foot from base to ankle.

The middle looked like “steampunk.” There was this whole section of the middle of the side, maybe four inches wide and two inches high, and it seemed to be silvery metal, I sensed steel, and it had something like little holes all over in it, evenly spaced like a sieve, as if it were ‘designed’. Yet at the same time, I could feel the ‘concept’ of it, and it wasn’t that at all. It felt like a grievous oozing wound, my impression was, the sort that might be a horrible worse-than-rash caused by something internal.

…I don’t know why I would get spontaneous visualization related to my foot. There is nothing wrong with my right foot as far as I know!

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Foot Med

Tek Med: Duct

Then I had a Tek (body) med. He took me up this vertical plane like a wall to the ‘top’ where something was above me like a soft ceiling, and this place kind of ‘on the wall’ was this big ugly yucky mess. Sort of like encrusted over the long term. The position/shape of it vaguely reminded me of the entry to the attic crawl-space that is in my garage. “What is it?” I said, and he says, “It is a duct.”

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Tek Med: Duct

Notes to Self, 19 June 2012

Having the desire to deal with the three most repressed issues in my life — the alter(s), fiction writing, and music — is so completely amazing I’m awed about it. That this would all hit just as I am starting this ‘liver’ plan and a week off work doesn’t seem like coincidence…. I realized that I was in some spontaneous visual like when they just ‘happen’ without planning.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Notes to Self, 19 June 2012

The Local God

In a rather fascinating ‘archetypal’ model (universe-mother archetypes work here), the liver “takes everything unto itself,” and then is essentially creating the rest of the body “out of itself” to send out into the universe of the body to experience life.

The liver uses the minerals of the earth, and the enzymes of plants to create our bodies. [Those enzymes and minerals are combined and condensed in the tissues of animals that eat them, which as a result is a very powerful food for us.]

If the liver creates the base of the all cells of our body, then it is literally our creator-god at the “local” level you might say. Every cell of our body used to be part of the liver. We are literally “made in its image.”

Some ancient cultures considered the liver the seat of the soul.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at The Local God

Tarot Princess of Disks, Take 2

Thoth Tarot Princess of Disks

There was such an ‘organic’ element of all the metal that was literally “sewn into her.” It wasn’t just like weapons or something had punctured her. It was like something dark and insidious had grown into and through her. It was not “of” her–it had not become her or changed her–it had merely imprisoned her in such a terrible way. For some reason, the perception that the “black iron vines” were functioning like an organic creature instead of just an inert thing, added a degree of slightly nauseating horror to it difficult to describe.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Tarot Princess of Disks, Take 2

On Chakras; and Cleansing

This is a few small cleaning center meditation notes from various years, and a cool meditation on chakras that had some new insights for me.


Journal Fragment, July 17, 2002

I SAW a guide! I mean I really SAW him with absolute real-world clarity, amazing!! (It was the asian guy but this was MUCH more clear than ever!) I asked him why I could see him so super-clearly?? and he said I was ready for him. (Then I was like, “I can hear you too! OMG!” hahaha!)

We went to the Cleaning Center for a “body cleansing” med and I worked on what the guide gave me, weird and gross as often. I was cleaning when I stopped and asked him, “Hey, can we somehow send this same cleaning effect to ‘all else in the body of the same shape or circumstance?’ Can you arrange that?” He said yes.

He set up a second holotable, wired into the first one, and I took each piece of the big encrusted yucky blob over to do a cleaning, and strongly “willed” this to every point in the body similar.

Man. I felt like vomiting! I felt so exhausted suddenly. I did the next piece. Each was different. After about six of the major parts, I just had to stop. I feel ill and tired. It’s ok, I think it’s just a lot of toxins in my system all at once. I’ve got to drink major water from now on…

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at On Chakras; and Cleansing

Programming the Self

I had forgotten about this meditation approach: Create a ‘geometry’ which ‘is’ a given energy. This is like that geometric language you feel inside you, that some say is called the Angelic language, where the geometric shapes ‘are’ the ‘ISness’, the thing itself being communicated. Then you are plugging it in” to the programming control center of yourself.

I remembered the last part, but not the first about making it a geometry that feels right, and I think this is very important and more powerful somehow. Also I had forgotten the part about ‘conflict resolution’, I think that is important too.

Also I had forgotten that there is a specific “DNA Meditation” that one can do there. Sheesh! Anything else I’m forgetting?? Oh yeah: I had also forgotten that my outer guides (OG) used to work with me so often and often came with me to the body-worlds and did a ton of energy work with me like on my chakras.

The guides in the various science-lab centers ‘inside/under’ the plateau, as a group, that deal with my body, are the overlapping guide-identities that I now call “Tek”.

Journal fragment, July 16, 2002

I was doing a Control Center med, some OGs in there with me too. It totally rocked!

I came up with a single, succinct and direct sentence for what I wanted (“I am very disciplined and have much will”). Then, I had my imagination come up with a geometric shape that “said” exactly that,

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Programming the Self

Identities in the Inner Realm

In spontaneous experience, inside meditations, dreams, mixed states or sudden visions, over the years (mostly since 1993) I have come to accept that ‘I’ am composed of a “merged multiplicity”, and in turn am part of a larger merged identity where I am just one of the parts, as well. I sometimes see indirect or “philosophical” reference to this concept but I have no doctrine or model I am following, only my own sometimes confusing experiences. I would love to meet others who may have similar experiences. I blog my thoughts and experiences mostly because I have a surreal problem with forgetting things in this genre very quickly, but also in the hope that someday, Google willing, others with similar experiences may chance on me.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Identities in the Inner Realm

A Tek Med, Balancing Energy

Today’s morning communion with the consortium members went fine. The last one ‘through’ the four had more ‘rushing’ body-feelings. None as powerful as the first time but still nice.

I let Tek lead a meditation. Usually I descend into a white room and he gives me a ‘thing’ holographically to ‘clean or heal’. Once he had me hose down the room. Sometimes it’s a different Tek like the one that has the ‘control room’ where a given idea or belief is ‘plugged in’. Today was rather different though.

First I felt I was in a large irregularly shaped room. I was near the right side wall but it was higher and oddly shaped on the ceiling at the far left side with a sense of high wooden beams. These rooms have always been white and small before so that was a bit different.

Briefly, he put some kind of ‘suit’ on me that ‘allowed me to fly/better’. That seemed like a concept. I tried it out, flying. I could flap wings in the suit, and glide, and then just fly where I wanted, so I realized it was more magical flying than winged flying, and then realized that this was a concept he was providing me, that we were going to do something that would free me in some way.

Just then I felt this deep ache in my left upper outer arm. Two things struck me about the ache. The first was that it was so significant and sudden

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at A Tek Med, Balancing Energy