I have found that:
  • → sincere prayer
  • → genuine intentions
  • → present-focus
  • → extended humor
  • → careful integrity
  • → constant work to discover and release all forms of bias in oneself
  • → dogged effort to pursue awareness, divine guidance and understanding
Leads a person to "interactive insight from the inside."

Consciously I want to evolve.
My ego resists strenuously.
I surreally "forget" so much!
So I blog for myself, mostly:
to re-read and remember.

People ask me where to begin with the complexity of the stuff on my blog. But my imaginal and related work spans 25 years as of 2016. So the real answer is "I don't know." I can't put all that in a sound bite. And one would have to understand, not just intellectually but experientially, a lot of it from start to middle to begin to understand where I am now. It is 'active imagination' work, resting on an extremely 'open' definition of archetype and energy, mapped at times to various occult patterns because they seem useful and otherwise just loosely personal; but that's not all. Short of how the blog speaks for itself that's about all I can say about it. It's a path I've built myself, for one. ~ Palyne

In the human spirit, as in the universe, nothing is higher or lower; everything has equal rights to a common center which manifests its hidden existence precisely through this harmonic relationship between every part and itself.
-- Goethe

Angels transcend every religion, every philosophy, every creed. In fact angels have no religion as we know it... their existence precedes every religious system that has ever existed on earth.
-- St. Thomas Aquinas

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In the beginning all was indivisible. And in becoming manifest, it became, seemingly, divisible. But the divisions must evolve to recognize themselves, and each other, and to then accept themselves, to truly know themselves by knowing each other. To begin, they are blended, confused; it is chaos, it is legion. They are all on the journey to indivisibility, to singularity, to the I AM. The point, of course, is not the destination, but the journey.

-- insight during the Princess of Disks meditation

Spiritual growth is like all other types: you absorb seemingly 'other' energy, and it becomes part of your own sense of identity. The growth is in awareness, and with that comes power which is always over Self.
Diversity is Legion;
Singularity is the I AM.
None of this is new although my approach to it is my own. -- Palyne

Inner Guide is Angelic. She is free of anything akin to doctrine. I call her an Angel because that is the only word I have for it, and because I know, all the way through me, that this is our word for her fundamentally divine nature. Aside from that, I don’t even know what she IS exactly, or what it means, or where it would fit into any model. She is life sized, soul wide, colors and gems and flowers and songs, everything beautiful that ever was, condensed into an identity I am completely in love with–except she feels like part of me too, so it’s like also being in love with yourself, and also with God, and also with the whole universe, both every tiny thing in your mundania, and ‘awareness’ as something so utterly, mind-bogglingly amazing — how could this exist? How could this not exist? How could I ever understand such a thing? — I am left only with joy, with awe.
-- on Inner Guide #4, aka 'Sedaena'. The first IG I had genuine conversation (and reading) with; the first real sign of my HGA.

He is so much inside and outside me, larger than me and yet the light of the tiniest particles of me, I don’t even have a word for whatever it is that he IS. I call him angelic and inner guide and the name he gave me because I have no idea what else to call this. It’s a Being and a Thing and an Event and a Place and a Relationship and… it’s like there is no label that is remotely big enough to encompass whatever it IS.
-- on Inner Guide #5, aka 'Mark.'

The boundary between the imaginational and imaginal is rather fuzzy and it is a developed skill and art to learn to stay there; to maintain your own autonomy while allowing the-others’ autonomy; to be shocked, astounded, grossed out, effused, and other surprise emotions from the interaction; all this without getting lost in the experience like a dream, yet also without pulling back to controlling the experience like a daydream. The former is being swept away by the river, and the latter is standing on the shore thinking about it; learning to walk the fine line of control and allowance to stay in that ‘imaginal realm’ actually takes practice. Crazy people think it’s all autonomous and happening ‘to’ them; people unable to allow this for themselves, may think it’s all imagination; and they’d both be right, because they are both lost; the goal is a whole world that bridges and encompasses both of those.

-- on "Interworlds Meditation"

Q: Where are you now?

Me: Well, back in my own reality.

Q: Wrong. You are in a reality version that distraction and denial have made for you.

Me: How do I get out?

Q: Wrong question. There is no space, there is no time. Where are you again?

Me: Oh. I’m wherever I "pay attention" to being.

Q: Right. You PAY attention. It is the currency of your soul. You rent your reality. Never forget that. The choice to move is yours.

Dealing with the unconscious has become a question of life for us.
The play of the imagination is incalculable.
~ Carl Jung

The imaginary can be innocuous, the imaginal never can.
~ Henry Corbin

A calling may be postponed, avoided, intermittently missed. It may also possess you completely. Whatever; eventually it will out. It makes its claim. The daimon does not go away.
~ James Hillman

There comes a time when the mind takes a higher plane of knowledge but can never prove how it got there.
-- Albert Einstein


This blog documents much of my work in the "inter-worlds" of a greater-self. It's not just esoteric: every thing corresponds — the mundane, the arcane, the divine. If it had to be summed up you might say it is "a universe of personalization." A strange place where monotheism and ultimate-pantheism are one and the same.

I am a natural mystic, if spontaneous experiences determine such a thing. I am not religious in any way; only guidance from the inside drives me. No identities or models unless they are introduced to me from the inside. (Sometimes I use them simply for interest, or because their models are convenient doorways -- but I accept none of their doctrines.) I briefly studied theology at one point, independently (I consider constant prayer a valid part of edu too), and where it led me was "anywhere-else." It's fine for others of course. I consider the heart of free will to be that everyone has their own road. Or as Heinlein once wrote, the right to go to hell in their own handbasket.

This tends to make me obsessed with the divine yet not religious at all, in any form, which is often confusing to onlookers. I am ever in love with and in closer pursuit of integration with The Christ (which I consider a solar-planetary deity, exceeding and preceding all possible religion, though cyclically present within our species) but I'm not remotely a modern Christian, and this also tends to be very confusing to onlookers. I'm a student of archetypes and pattern systems, yet not a jungian intellectual - armchair philosophy bores me - nor a power occultist - which has its own issues (and uniforms) to say the least.

After nearly two decades of certain experiences I felt alone with and thought were unique to me, it turns out I find some harmony in the gnostic writings. I didn't get it from there, and am not fond of that doctrine and the paradigms it came in with, so I ignore it. Which means despite talking about just a few things specific to it (by unknowing accident until a few years ago), I'm not part of that model either.

The road I walk is my own. It doesn't really have an easy label or anybody else on it, that I can see. This is between me and God, so it doesn't really need to work for anybody else. I used to wish I wasn't the only person with such experiences or practices, and started a blog in part in the hope I might find others with something similar. Maybe a need for community. I'm over that now, at least I think. I walk alone, but Light is with me. Can't ask for more than that.

-- Palyne

When we understand that perception is as much about source as target; that energy is a spectrum and best psi perception comes from the center, its balance and blend; that the manifest communication of our Selves is the literal 'reality' we experience; that everything in that reality is a profound 3D language element; that insight with the ‘center’ of spectrum is likely to be via the language-symbols of 'reality;' that these need to be interpreted at the level they are received; this is the path for intentional psi.
-- Insight on the Art of RV

Black and Red: The Castle

After awhile of the Four being gone, I saw them now and then in dreams, only at a distance and briefly. I barely remembered the fragments, but did remember that they were so young. Like small children, even though they looked the same. And then older children, and then teens, and then the next time I saw them they seemed normally matured. I wondered what that meant.

I was standing on the edge of my plateau one day, looking a bit blankly off into the distance from up high. I felt alone. I had only seen the Four distantly and barely, in dreams, aside from that first meditation with IG. I knew they were back, or reborn, or whatever, but that brain-knowing didn’t make up for the heart-lonely of not having them interact with me.

After awhile, it occurred to me that maybe if I wanted them back in my life I could do something to welcome them. Make a place for them inside me manually, so to speak. I focused on the edge of the cliff some distance away, and hollowed much of the cliff out around one square area on the edge, making it a stand-alone piece of high stone, separated from all around it, so you had to fly to reach it.

I built a small 4-sided square white pavilion on the top, using as materials for some of the building silver and gold, lapis lazuli and jasper. There was a big, tall and wide doorway in

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Black and Red: The Castle

On Chakras; and Cleansing

This is a few small cleaning center meditation notes from various years, and a cool meditation on chakras that had some new insights for me.


Journal Fragment, July 17, 2002

I SAW a guide! I mean I really SAW him with absolute real-world clarity, amazing!! (It was the asian guy but this was MUCH more clear than ever!) I asked him why I could see him so super-clearly?? and he said I was ready for him. (Then I was like, “I can hear you too! OMG!” hahaha!)

We went to the Cleaning Center for a “body cleansing” med and I worked on what the guide gave me, weird and gross as often. I was cleaning when I stopped and asked him, “Hey, can we somehow send this same cleaning effect to ‘all else in the body of the same shape or circumstance?’ Can you arrange that?” He said yes.

He set up a second holotable, wired into the first one, and I took each piece of the big encrusted yucky blob over to do a cleaning, and strongly “willed” this to every point in the body similar.

Man. I felt like vomiting! I felt so exhausted suddenly. I did the next piece. Each was different. After about six of the major parts, I just had to stop. I feel ill and tired. It’s ok, I think it’s just a lot of toxins in my system all at once. I’ve got to drink major water from now on…

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at On Chakras; and Cleansing

The Devic Kingdom of Me

In terms of profound, complex visuals, of staggering clarity and color and depth, this old meditation remains probably the #1 most utterly mindblowing one I’ve ever had in that category. Ever. This was a RELIGIOUS experience it was so intense and astounding. The body, up close and personal inside, is beyond merely amazing. The ‘deva’ aspect was awesome and completely autonomous (that is so amazing when it works that way!).

Journal Fragment, January 9, 2006

The last two days my meditations went nowhere. Literally like the battery was 100% run down. I just sort of existed there and did nothing. But I did make effort as I want to stay consistent.

Today I went in again and I’ve been impressed with how much my visuals, their intensity and detail, has suddenly amped up. It’s like that part of my brain or chakra are just wired for speed now.

I went in and got Brin and Stets (my outer guides) and had the feelings that I needed to do another inside med. Recently in my sacred space a sort of dimensional doorway opened up like a big crack in the plateau, in the middle, and we jump in, and slide down this literal slide for quite awhile, and turn and twist etc. Kinda fun. We end up way deep ‘inside the earth’. Today I had a little time for a meditation and we slid in and landed in a strange place.

It was nearly dark but a

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at The Devic Kingdom of Me

Archmed: ’94 Dream Symbol (left hand)

In 1994 I had a very powerful dream that included this symbol:

I noted that somehow his death had cut my left hand in a couple of places. Deeply, and it bled thick and dark like molasses…

I told IG I wanted to meditate on that, on the wounding, on the hand and blood, on that overall energy, as I made myself comfortable and waited for the archetype.

IG: Are you sure?

Me: What? Wait, you of all people are hesitant to give me an archetype?! Yes, I’m sure.

She’s so weird at the most unexpected times, I swear. We move on, and the archetype is instantly in motion, some impossibly tall, really thick writhing, a sky-high column maybe two feet in diameter that is sinuous and twisting and covered with huge barbed thorns.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Archmed: ’94 Dream Symbol (left hand)

ArchMed: Fear of Psi #2

And to think, when I began this ‘fear of psi’ as an archetype meditation idea, I thought it’d be a little thing I would just cover ‘in case’ it related to my seeming self-blocked from awareness. OK. So I’m an alien ancient-brain reptilian in the insignificance of infinity. It’s just another day.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at ArchMed: Fear of Psi #2

Knock Knock, Neo

I’d like to do another archmed but literally, I came out of that one, and I could “feel it slipping away” from my memory. I’ve felt more of that lately. I mean even when I have good ones I often forget them entirely and if I didn’t occasionally look back in my blog, that would have been that. I have edited this post while writing to add in a ton of stuff I forgot as I was typing it out. I don’t know why but it seems like my level of denial has just amplified considerably. I want to be aware of that problem and compensate for it, help prevent myself doing that kind of thing.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Knock Knock, Neo

The Crucifixion of the Trinity

In Autumn of 2005, in September, the month I turned 40, the other three elements of my soul died.

It was a strange thing, I think now. It had been in mid 1994 that my ‘illusion’ of soul and self had been ripped from me, in the Nothingness experience that I’d had to ‘sacrifice myself’ to. I had nearly committed suicide after that, a biological empty shell, a walking corpse without the god-light inside me. After a few months, the divine inside me I called The Blue Eyes of Soul saved me, brought me to understand I could never truly be separate from anything, and I sobbed my way into almost being normal again that night. Although in reality it took literally years before I was truly enough past that to not feel like it was still haunting me.

I would not have thought there was anything else that could affect me on that level, that inexplicable deep inner self the size of a universe, but apparently there was.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at The Crucifixion of the Trinity