I have found that:
  • → sincere prayer
  • → genuine intentions
  • → present-focus
  • → extended humor
  • → careful integrity
  • → constant work to discover and release all forms of bias in oneself
  • → dogged effort to pursue awareness, divine guidance and understanding
Leads a person to "interactive insight from the inside."

Consciously I want to evolve.
My ego resists strenuously.
I surreally "forget" so much!
So I blog for myself, mostly:
to re-read and remember.

People ask me where to begin with the complexity of the stuff on my blog. But my imaginal and related work spans 25 years as of 2016. So the real answer is "I don't know." I can't put all that in a sound bite. And one would have to understand, not just intellectually but experientially, a lot of it from start to middle to begin to understand where I am now. It is 'active imagination' work, resting on an extremely 'open' definition of archetype and energy, mapped at times to various occult patterns because they seem useful and otherwise just loosely personal; but that's not all. Short of how the blog speaks for itself that's about all I can say about it. It's a path I've built myself, for one. ~ Palyne

In the human spirit, as in the universe, nothing is higher or lower; everything has equal rights to a common center which manifests its hidden existence precisely through this harmonic relationship between every part and itself.
-- Goethe

Angels transcend every religion, every philosophy, every creed. In fact angels have no religion as we know it... their existence precedes every religious system that has ever existed on earth.
-- St. Thomas Aquinas

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In the beginning all was indivisible. And in becoming manifest, it became, seemingly, divisible. But the divisions must evolve to recognize themselves, and each other, and to then accept themselves, to truly know themselves by knowing each other. To begin, they are blended, confused; it is chaos, it is legion. They are all on the journey to indivisibility, to singularity, to the I AM. The point, of course, is not the destination, but the journey.

-- insight during the Princess of Disks meditation

Spiritual growth is like all other types: you absorb seemingly 'other' energy, and it becomes part of your own sense of identity. The growth is in awareness, and with that comes power which is always over Self.
Diversity is Legion;
Singularity is the I AM.
None of this is new although my approach to it is my own. -- Palyne

Inner Guide is Angelic. She is free of anything akin to doctrine. I call her an Angel because that is the only word I have for it, and because I know, all the way through me, that this is our word for her fundamentally divine nature. Aside from that, I don’t even know what she IS exactly, or what it means, or where it would fit into any model. She is life sized, soul wide, colors and gems and flowers and songs, everything beautiful that ever was, condensed into an identity I am completely in love with–except she feels like part of me too, so it’s like also being in love with yourself, and also with God, and also with the whole universe, both every tiny thing in your mundania, and ‘awareness’ as something so utterly, mind-bogglingly amazing — how could this exist? How could this not exist? How could I ever understand such a thing? — I am left only with joy, with awe.
-- on Inner Guide #4, aka 'Sedaena'. The first IG I had genuine conversation (and reading) with; the first real sign of my HGA.

He is so much inside and outside me, larger than me and yet the light of the tiniest particles of me, I don’t even have a word for whatever it is that he IS. I call him angelic and inner guide and the name he gave me because I have no idea what else to call this. It’s a Being and a Thing and an Event and a Place and a Relationship and… it’s like there is no label that is remotely big enough to encompass whatever it IS.
-- on Inner Guide #5, aka 'Mark.'

The boundary between the imaginational and imaginal is rather fuzzy and it is a developed skill and art to learn to stay there; to maintain your own autonomy while allowing the-others’ autonomy; to be shocked, astounded, grossed out, effused, and other surprise emotions from the interaction; all this without getting lost in the experience like a dream, yet also without pulling back to controlling the experience like a daydream. The former is being swept away by the river, and the latter is standing on the shore thinking about it; learning to walk the fine line of control and allowance to stay in that ‘imaginal realm’ actually takes practice. Crazy people think it’s all autonomous and happening ‘to’ them; people unable to allow this for themselves, may think it’s all imagination; and they’d both be right, because they are both lost; the goal is a whole world that bridges and encompasses both of those.

-- on "Interworlds Meditation"

Q: Where are you now?

Me: Well, back in my own reality.

Q: Wrong. You are in a reality version that distraction and denial have made for you.

Me: How do I get out?

Q: Wrong question. There is no space, there is no time. Where are you again?

Me: Oh. I’m wherever I "pay attention" to being.

Q: Right. You PAY attention. It is the currency of your soul. You rent your reality. Never forget that. The choice to move is yours.

Dealing with the unconscious has become a question of life for us.
The play of the imagination is incalculable.
~ Carl Jung

The imaginary can be innocuous, the imaginal never can.
~ Henry Corbin

A calling may be postponed, avoided, intermittently missed. It may also possess you completely. Whatever; eventually it will out. It makes its claim. The daimon does not go away.
~ James Hillman

There comes a time when the mind takes a higher plane of knowledge but can never prove how it got there.
-- Albert Einstein


This blog documents much of my work in the "inter-worlds" of a greater-self. It's not just esoteric: every thing corresponds — the mundane, the arcane, the divine. If it had to be summed up you might say it is "a universe of personalization." A strange place where monotheism and ultimate-pantheism are one and the same.

I am a natural mystic, if spontaneous experiences determine such a thing. I am not religious in any way; only guidance from the inside drives me. No identities or models unless they are introduced to me from the inside. (Sometimes I use them simply for interest, or because their models are convenient doorways -- but I accept none of their doctrines.) I briefly studied theology at one point, independently (I consider constant prayer a valid part of edu too), and where it led me was "anywhere-else." It's fine for others of course. I consider the heart of free will to be that everyone has their own road. Or as Heinlein once wrote, the right to go to hell in their own handbasket.

This tends to make me obsessed with the divine yet not religious at all, in any form, which is often confusing to onlookers. I am ever in love with and in closer pursuit of integration with The Christ (which I consider a solar-planetary deity, exceeding and preceding all possible religion, though cyclically present within our species) but I'm not remotely a modern Christian, and this also tends to be very confusing to onlookers. I'm a student of archetypes and pattern systems, yet not a jungian intellectual - armchair philosophy bores me - nor a power occultist - which has its own issues (and uniforms) to say the least.

After nearly two decades of certain experiences I felt alone with and thought were unique to me, it turns out I find some harmony in the gnostic writings. I didn't get it from there, and am not fond of that doctrine and the paradigms it came in with, so I ignore it. Which means despite talking about just a few things specific to it (by unknowing accident until a few years ago), I'm not part of that model either.

The road I walk is my own. It doesn't really have an easy label or anybody else on it, that I can see. This is between me and God, so it doesn't really need to work for anybody else. I used to wish I wasn't the only person with such experiences or practices, and started a blog in part in the hope I might find others with something similar. Maybe a need for community. I'm over that now, at least I think. I walk alone, but Light is with me. Can't ask for more than that.

-- Palyne

When we understand that perception is as much about source as target; that energy is a spectrum and best psi perception comes from the center, its balance and blend; that the manifest communication of our Selves is the literal 'reality' we experience; that everything in that reality is a profound 3D language element; that insight with the ‘center’ of spectrum is likely to be via the language-symbols of 'reality;' that these need to be interpreted at the level they are received; this is the path for intentional psi.
-- Insight on the Art of RV

Whistling Reality Into Being

The aeons suddenly “shared one of our memories” with me in a really major and sudden way. It was something that happened about 26 years ago. And it was something that had always been brain-crunching thing for me.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Whistling Reality Into Being

Nothing New Apparently

I suddenly ‘saw’ this totally black skull, but black like very shiny like lacquered, it was a couple feet below my ‘eye level’ in the vision about a foot from my body, and it was looking slightly downward.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Nothing New Apparently

Language of the Heart

Back to symbols (all of reality) being a language (like ideogram-heiroglyphics in 3-D all around us).

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Language of the Heart

Crown Chakra Review

My crown chakra once had an experiential-conversation with me and showed me some detail about its nature. Since that time I have had various insights. I’ve decided to write down what I feel is my greater understanding of it, now that it’s had more time to assimilate in me and be improved by further experience.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Crown Chakra Review

Exxon in the Body and the Shield for Medusa

“Put it in front of me so I can’t miss it,” I tell the insiders. “Some lesser-problem that represents energy I have a serious issue with elsewhere, that I might better use some other facet/version of the same energy to work on.”

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Exxon in the Body and the Shield for Medusa

Konewa Turi the Kundalini

I had the impression (this could be wrong) that this was one name of one chakra and yet that it was in two parts because it represented a duality, with the 2nd part being the receptive or feminine element. I hope I didn’t mess that up, it was a subtlety. I said it out loud several times, to ‘feel’ if he/she/they/it would ‘respond’ to that, felt ok with it, and I felt as if there was an answering recognition in that part of my energy body in a way, as if they did. Boy we really need gender words that cover “both” and “neither” in our language.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Konewa Turi the Kundalini

Layers of Effects

This sounds so simple but it affected me so profoundly that I was clutching my gut and feeling slightly sick, not so much nauseated as if someone had literally just “punched me in the gut” and almost knocked the wind out of me.

Not integrating with Senior has implications far beyond what I do in daily life or for work. It is a required integration before certain degrees of strength, integrity, and further growth can occur.

Attempting to continue work, like with the Largers, while not accepting this and learning from it and working through it, is not just poor timing, it’s deadly. Physically. Even spiritually at least in the sense of literally ‘cracking into pieces” and all the work it would take to put myself back together–possibly a zillion more lives before I get back to the point of consciously knowing my Aeons and the Four, for example.

Some of them are heavy in his energy and they will “calve off” like the ice shelves, not accessible to me so directly anymore, if I don’t step back in the ring and walk into that energy.

I am in “cognitive dissonance.” That’s why I’m creating a reality where I work all the time. Where even when I’m not working, I’m a space cadet. The PO warned me way back when, and he was right. That I could end up walking away. Losing connections I had made.

There comes a time on any path where you can’t just stay still. You have to make a commitment. You are already in motion, in momentum, and the road moves too. If you don’t choose the high road, let’s call it in this analogy, you are still by default making a choice for the other road.

I’m on the other path, somewhere down the road, and the one I know I want to be on is barely in sight in the distance. I need to go back to the fork and make a conscious decision. It means some backtracking but if I don’t want to continue on this road, where I get further and further from feeling any ‘connection’ to Truth, to the Divine, to my Aeons, to the Four, almost none of whom I even think about any more and which seem like distant fiction most the time… I have to go back and deal with Senior’s energy. I have to resolve the cognitive dissonance. Because it forces denial, avoidance.

I can’t feel it. But I understand that’s part of the side-effect of what I’ve done to myself. Nothing feels physical or real anymore.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Layers of Effects

Identity as a Canvas

I had a ‘sponsored realization’ as I call them, during one of those tiny ‘conversational’ events lately, one of the incredibly rapid interactions that I tend to realize just after they’ve finished. I don’t remember the details, only the end result in concept.

I wonder if this also applies to all of reality as we know it, but I find the idea so disturbing I will assume not.

It does sort of relate to the subjective reality idea, but far too literally I think!

It related to what is really going on when I communicate with a Larger, an Aeon, the Four, whatever. It’s not… it’s not what I think it is, or how I have thought of it. It is wholly subjective. Wait, let me articulate it better.

Let us say that me and Nero are having a conversation, doesn’t matter about what. Then maybe we did a breathing exercise together. That essentially is just an ‘energetic event’ in objective terms.

In other words, to him, we did not have that conversation. But that energy, that attention, that relationship, that interaction, that energy, it is part of something that is part of both of us, that we share, although we each experience it our own way.

Now in his life, it might result in him having a conversation with me, at some other time, but a completely different one. It might merely blend into his dreams or his life in some other way.

The relationship is real, the energy

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Identity as a Canvas

Higher Selves… so much for angels

When I once perceived ‘via’ IG in tiny part briefly, I got very clearly that she is “of the Angelic realm”. And while I have no idea what her relationship is with me in terms of some boring Urantia- or Talmud- style heirarchy of X begat Y, it seemed reasonable to me that maybe she is my higher self in some fashion. And maybe she is, who knows.

But then again… maybe that is WAY higher. Or of some different nature.

After this morning’s meditation, I’m thinking that maybe some… ‘more complex’ selves come through just as normally as the… um, ‘composing’ selves of Aeons do.

If the Consortium composes me and they are Aeons, what would I call those whom I am part of the composition of, in turn? I have no idea.

I remembered my recent 2 meditations with finding and restoring Nero. I remembered this lovely framed poster I got from my best friend for my birthday, one of Michael Parkes’s beautiful art works, which I’d never seen large enough or close enough to realize that at the edge is a contained waterfall, similar to the symbolism from those meds.

I recalled that during a med, I had the sudden realization: I am the Aeon to my higher selves, and they are trying to reach me, as I am trying to reach Nero. Or something that translated to that.


I had the feeling that the big guy-creature I recently was introduced to by IG, MondnoM (that

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Higher Selves… so much for angels

Gone Native

My state of mind lately has been changing. My reality has been changing a little with it.

First I decided to spend what money I’m supposed to come by in a couple weeks, on something I should, rather than something I’d planned. That’s a good thing. Much more responsible.

Then, a few days ago, I was talking to the Four. How is my kid gonna see the value in inner work, if there are no outer confirmations there’s some point to it all? I asked them. I know I haven’t meditated on say, getting my bathtub, or floor, or water issues fixed, except once maybe, in combination with other things. But I want this to happen and SHE expects it SHOULD if meditation ‘works’. I didn’t realize that until a conversation we had the other day, but suddenly, it had a lot more importance to me that this occur.

I had recently had a talk with my best friend and was telling him I thought one reason this thing I wanted hadn’t happened, was because for some inexplicable reason, I just didn’t care enough. Like the only thing I’ve cared about for awhile, I mean really at the gut level, is my personal evolution. The reality around me has been real, sure, and things sometimes drive me crazy, but I just haven’t had the “ooomph” for anything except “internal experience” and that sense of inner growth.

Well this shift to the focus on my kid, and her plaintively asking me

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Gone Native


She put something on me, and in my hands, that almost felt like ‘centurion gear’, but I was sure I had to be imagining that or misunderstanding, so I ignored it, and turned around. A guy wearing gear a lot like mine nearly took my head off with a sword. I rolled back and ran away, tuning back into the sense of the clothes and sword so I could defend myself. OK I grant my archetypes are sometimes “proactively hostile” that’s true, especially if IG chooses them, for some reason — maybe those are just the ones I have the worst relationship to — but maybe that was some kind of lesson about not ignoring her and assuming what I perceived was wrong!

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Soldiering

Reality Shifts

After immense amounts of speed reading, leaning hard on the four, IG and the aeons to help me understand, then waking up with tons of “geometry inside me” that explained a lot of it, I started writing a blog post. It took over two days. Trying to unwind it and articulate it. (Coming soon.)

Then I had to look up some stuff from old posts I wanted to reference. And then it took a day to read that.

And as always, I found a ton of material in my blog, of my experience, that I had utterly forgotten, some of which was critical and impacted on some of the very points under discussion, some of which WAS like a lite, earlier version of the same stuff, but not understood nearly as well.

I feel as if I have to run into things repeatedly, like a spiral upward. Like first I just ‘muse on an idea in passing’. Then I start to realize it’s like so. Then it goes away for a bit and then some major realization occurs that has that at center. And then in further cycles, I will get a deeper understanding of how it applies. I guess this makes sense, now that I think about it, but it makes me feel both repetitive, and kinda dense.

It’s like spiritual Alzheimers: new epiphanies every day!

I never did find the brief paragraph quote I was looking for (will keep trying before I publish the last post).

New review-insights

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Reality Shifts