Consciously I want to evolve.
My ego resists and I forget.
I blog, re-read, remember.
So I blog for me, mostly.
I have found that:
- → sincere and regular prayer
- → genuinely good intentions
- → present-focus, "interest"
- → extended sense of humor
- → honesty, sharing, healing
- → constant work to discover and release bias in oneself
- →
dogged (to the extreme) effort to pursue awareness and understanding
Leads a person to "interactive insight from the inside." We only grok by going through. Spiritual growth is like all others: you absorb, become aware, and via love (sympathetic rapport and desire to become or absorb) and will (directed intent), that energy becomes part of your singular sense of identity. The 'growth' is in awareness, and with that comes power which is always over Self. Diversity is Legion; Singularity is the I AM. None of this is new or unique. It's simply "unconscious and slow" for most people. I figure I can't help doing it, so I would rather do it well than badly. Darkness is not of the Nothingness. It is not the opposite of light, as it only exists within the realm of light itself. Darkness is just something-ness lacking color. The universe is fundamentally of light, and darkness fails to hold dominance and fails to understand why: its nature precludes it: awareness itself makes all identities children of the light.
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Posted by Palyne on 2012.04.27 Thursday, 27 April 2012, Midnight Mass with IG
They were like ‘a unit’, the way they stood together. A woman and the large scary yet slightly cartoonish lizard, who stood chest-to-chest or would have if he weren’t 3 foot taller, and her arms were down and his were around her.
I had no idea what this was. I’d had the impression on beginning that I might be meeting another chakra, either 2nd or 3rd, and the male/female element would support that, but… this was different given at least one presented like a person to me. (Well the Themelian was like a person, albeit very different sort of face.) More like an archetype, it seemed.
I did the standard elements on us. And then the scary cartoon was a man, of normal size, but they stayed together like that.
Who are you? I asked.
She said Bess and Ari, or Bessandari, or Bessand Ari. I don’t know, but I’m making it the latter because if it’s a chakra that would at least match the pattern that Konewa Turi’s name falls in I guess.
Me: Wow, I can’t believe it was that easy. (Then I spent awhile trying to go back over it thinking I couldn’t have heard it clearly.)
I still have no idea what or who they are internally, and I can’t recall anything else. But I suspect this is going to end up being the 2nd chakra, just something about the lizard appearance of the male initially gives me
Read the full article at Bessand Ari
http://www.palyne.com/blog.psiche/bessand-ari/
Posted by Palyne on 2012.04.12 I just understood something. I should have got this sooner. It’s the ajna (third-eye) visual senses. Everything has an extra ‘dimension’ of sorts.
But the dimensional quality means something.
I guess I sort of realized this “sometimes.” The ‘quality’ of a solid colored anything varies and “everything visual carries information.”
Think of it like art. Imagine that you have a super ‘flat’ paint, and a super ‘high glossy’ paint, and you have a finish on something that was some shellack-ish clear thing rubbed hard for hours over something so it’s shiny but has real depth, and you have a very “matte” quality, you get the idea. The diff is that with the ajna visuals, it all means something. In regular life, red and glossy vs. white and flat, sure they have an aesthetic difference, which can translate in-use to somewhat more conceptual and aesthetic impressions. But they don’t really MEAN anything. I mean they don’t carry great meaning to our brains, our guts, even a sense of a deeper self, even if maybe they have it.
In the ajna visuals, the color has great meaning. The texture, and the depth of both texture and color, have meaning. It’s like that part of it is information too. And all the meanings are “deep and profound” like Truth with a capital T or the very IS-ness of a thing as Seth might have said. And many elements of a thing which in our regular world are not visual–could not possibly
Read the full article at Ajna Visuals
http://www.palyne.com/blog.psiche/ajna-visuals/
Posted by Palyne on 2012.04.12 Wed 11 April 2012 Midnight mass with IG
Over time it is getting more difficult to think of her in the “shamanic psychological” framework I began this study with nearly 20 years ago. It gets more and more apparent and unquestionably obvious that she is Angelic.
I have to resist referring to her as ‘the angel’ since I feel like that gives a different meaning to readers, but then, I really don’t know jack about angels, so maybe it doesn’t. All I know is that this always seemed like a mental thing but she is something way beyond.
I have sometimes suspected that all of my IG’s are actually “percentages of” my blue eyes of soul — the holy guardian angel or spark of divine or whatever you want to call it — that perhaps as one moves on in this work, you are able to take a larger dose, so to speak. I’m not sure. I guess it doesn’t matter. She is what she is. Really awesome.
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Had an incredibly difficult time staying focused. Both I and IG had to rescue my attention repeatedly and after not more than 2 seconds. It was getting very frustrating and embarrassing eventually.
Then I saw this woman VERY clearly initially, her face was incredibly clear. She was sitting (maybe a wheelchair? or just chair, not sure) with a ‘charcoal colored’ whole head, for some reason, that color name even came through. It looked odd, a sort of curious color flatness
Read the full article at Sierpienta
http://www.palyne.com/blog.psiche/sierpienta/
Posted by Palyne on 2012.04.05 ~ 5:10am central 05-April-2012 Thursday
Man this just occurred to me out of nowhere.
Senior has come across as that race of human-aliens who are ‘vaguely red’ and ‘vaguely asian’. (In dreams, he comes across as black, sometimes negro-black but also sometimes black like a chess piece.) His symbolic colors, though, are red and black. Does that… does that relate?
So the 3rd, his polarity, his color in symbol is white, he would be… white and blue. And come to think of it, he comes across as the human-alien with white-blonde hair and super-blue eyes. OMG. Is that an incredible coincidence?? Is it some archetypal level pattern manifest??
Well the queen’s symbols (so far that I get) are gold (color/metal) and the torus and an eagle (and I suspect from a vision, and a dream, and a ref I found, also bats as kind of the ‘underside’ of that eagle energy). She comes across as the pre-egyptian woman with the long head and in various symbols, of course, gold in various ways (golden cloak so bright I couldn’t look at it, golden bird, golden chains, golden rope, golden sarcophagus, and I suspect egyptian for the association with golden jewelry and so on? Total ‘Isis’ symbolism of course which for us, is Egyptian). But I don’t hear anybody ever talking about Egyptian stuff related to the ‘contact’ stuff, hmmn, so I guess this element seems uninvolved.
These symbols I perceive with them are … they’re geometry and spiritual. They’re part of
Posted by Palyne on 2012.03.29 So me and Ith are doing this and I end up imagining ‘all the blocks we have’ in a circle around us, that went above our heads and below our feet and up the sides. Although I was completely oblivious consciously to this color at the time, I realized later, and even still I feel it, that the big perfect circle shape was a medium-blue (and I feel that I felt it then, just wasn’t paying attention). … When people marry with fierce attraction and later have none, might it be that they ‘successfully integrated’? So the chemistry between them is gone? They might as well be siblings then. … Lately I have to almost be careful what I think about. In my head is quiet “intuition conversation” about anything, as well as everything from ‘shapes’ that translate to meaning to actual visuals and concepts. … I’ve just reinvented some a combination of the celtic circle cross, the masonic/occult rose cross, and the native american zia (‘four-rayed sun’). …
Posted by Palyne on 2012.03.25 I had the impression (this could be wrong) that this was one name of one chakra and yet that it was in two parts because it represented a duality, with the 2nd part being the receptive or feminine element. I hope I didn’t mess that up, it was a subtlety. I said it out loud several times, to ‘feel’ if he/she/they/it would ‘respond’ to that, felt ok with it, and I felt as if there was an answering recognition in that part of my energy body in a way, as if they did. Boy we really need gender words that cover “both” and “neither” in our language.
Posted by Palyne on 2012.03.23 Morning: Breathing with Jiri (Hot Amanakhaton).
Formerly-winged-guy felt more like 18% or so merged. Well, there is no ‘feeling’ involved just a ‘scan for awareness’ I’m doing.
Prayer. The real kind.
Did nothing else useful for most the day.
Late in day: freaked out for some reason. Actually ordered pizza and a 2L soda. Yes that’s very bad, not common for me but I was having some weird sudden moment I can’t explain, I wasn’t even really hungry and I had plenty of stuff (including carbs if that was the goal) at home. Took lots of gluten-ease but was only able to eat a few slices and had to force myself, at that. The whole thing tasted off. As if my body chemistry has changed in some weird way. The only thing that tasted weirder than the pizza was the soda (Sprite), that was especially icky-bizarre. It just didn’t have the good-brain-chemicals response this stuff normally would. How confusing! What a waste of money. I just put it all down and refused to eat or drink any more of it.
Formerly-winged-guy: about 23.something % merged. I’m wondering if I can blame the weird food response on him.
Late evening. Breathing with LaeLee, Calme, Nedlund.
I have felt especially affectionate about all the Aeons. Not really connected frankly. But affectionate. I prayed as part of each one today, to allow, to release and dissolve any resistance to their energy.
I felt at one point, that merely being allowed awareness of the
Posted by Palyne on 2011.12.16 I just grinned at IG and leaped out to go do cleansing and a chakra round in the gem world. I got a slight merge-like rush from some of the focus moments, but only some, varied with the gem. I told them all how I want to know them. I was feeling very positive.
I talked to the Four for awhile and ended up whining about how it’s just so damn boring ‘being with them’ and not doing anything else and they said that was my restrictions on what I allowed myself, implying we’d have a more ‘active’ time if I was up for it. At some point in there I was thinking about the gem chakra world and (they?) suggested that I should work on getting — this is my phrasing, it was a translation even at the time — “something of each chakra in each day.”
So for example, something related to (as one option) survival for the root — doing something constructive toward your future or health or safety I got would work for that. Not just something on paper or mental, something you gotta do with your body. And, something that is creative, sexual or ideally both, for the 2nd. Something that is intentional ‘discipline’ for the third, I got that would match it well. Something specific to the heart and I got that in the absence of having gushing love at that moment for something or someone, ‘gratitude’ was another ‘aspect’ of love. Something for
Posted by Palyne on 2011.12.13 12:01 I realized, and slammed my laptop lid down and put an eyemask on and rolled out the inner world and was sitting next to IG.
I was getting a lot of subtle but unformed visuals. We were about to do something and then I remembered I had done no cleansing, and no chakra work. I asked if she could make me an inner world-of-me I could visit, much like the world of the chakra-gems, for a sort of repeatable ritual element (for cleansing). I thought it would help build the thought form and habit, but I also think now that it might make me more open to non-structured experience after a grounding in that.
So she did. I went into the top of a mountain and then into this tube I had to fly through and then it opened up into this big cave with a deep pool with steps carved into it and the water was completely opaque, not clear as is normal for caves I think. It was the cleansing water. I stepped down into the bath-like water in the cave that reminded me of thick salt water like in floatation tanks kind of, and the steps ended at a place that had me in the center of a ball of water that was probably like just extending my human form about 10 feet in every direction like an egg sphere. I stood there for awhile, though I felt that even several seconds, if I was focused,
Posted by Palyne on 2011.11.07 Denial apparently remains the center of my meditative practices. Last night before the whole gems thing, there was a whole little segment of ‘conversation’. I don’t know with whom precisely, it doesn’t really matter on the internal stuff, usually The Four and the Aeons blend in and out seamlessly (as does private oracle and inner guide). This happens a little more mutually than it sounds when writing it down but this is the gist of it.
I remembered it today but had to wait till I was off work to come blog it.
I was in the middle of relaxing, minding my own business, when I sensed-heard:
Vows matter.
Me: Uh. Ok, and … ?
Seamless: For example, you have wedding vows you are not keeping.
Me: Excuse me? I’ve been separated since January of 1997! I’ve been living a continent away since Spring of 2000!
Seamless: Then you should release yourself from the vow.
Me: Oh. Yeah, I paid for the paperwork, but he never came back from Canada, and … and … well fine I guess, I don’t see why it matters but if you think it does, I can finish that off I guess.
Seamless: You got the church dues bill today.
Me: And?
Seamless: You ‘owe’ dues to two churches you have nothing to do with and don’t share a belief system with.
Me: Well they aren’t killing me.
Seamless: Vows matter. You could be an ‘inactive’ member.
Me: Well alright then, yeah I guess, that’d
Read the full article at Vows Matter
http://www.palyne.com/blog.psiche/vows-matter/
Posted by Palyne on 2011.11.07 I got to IG on time. For some reason, making this midnight appointment seems critically important to me. Like it is a commitment. Not to be delayed or put aside for other things.
I sat by her for a bit, glad that my mind was fairly, decently calm pretty quickly. I had the Narnia soundtrack (orchestra version, minus the ‘white witch’ track) in headphones on lowest volume, and I sat in the dark.
I let shapes and concepts and colors and impressions wind through my head and around me, not attempting to touch or notice any of them, just letting them be, waiting for something to eventually resolve and present itself.
This was still going on when I realized I was distracted by this visual out the window. Out in the distance, in the dark, was this absolutely amazing green pyramid. Its green was somehow many shades at once, translating to that sense of it “feeding me” at chest-level I sometimes get from a mass profusion of spring plants growing amuck. The pyramid glowed in the night as if it would be seen for many miles around. It was 4-sided, but the bottom went straight up for a bit, before it shifted to the slanted dimension that took it up to a point. It seemed like it was lit, or giving off light.
I looked at IG. I still keep stealing glances at her, as if she doesn’t know, as if she’s going to disappear and I have to make
Read the full article at The Landscape of Me
http://www.palyne.com/blog.psiche/the-landscape-of-me/
Posted by Palyne on 2011.11.06 I was able to get my thoughts calmed down a little more quickly tonight. I was about to ask IG if we would be doing something with “that world out there” outside the giant window, when I realized I was somewhere else.
I was standing in a rectangular warehouse-like room. Perhaps 30 feet tall and 40 feet wide and 80 feet long. I was standing near one edge, and it was utterly empty, ‘echoing with silence’, only slightly dusty not much, when something above me made me look up.
A line or wire was stretched from side to side, about 20 feet up, and a young boy about 12 or so was hung up on it, as if it went through the sleeves of his clothing and behind his shoulders, so his arms were outstretched in a slightly messianic pose. He was silent, as if he had been there a long time.
I went up there to him, and before getting him down, I felt as if I should do something… healing, in some way. Before my conscious brain made the decision (a lot of that going on lately), I had put my hand upon his chest and heard myself saying, “Perhaps our Themelians can commune a little.” It felt right, and rushing shook my body with warm shivers down to my knees.
I got him down, and looked at him ‘medically’ in a light-box like an internet light-box for photos except this saw through him energetically. He had a
Read the full article at Warehousing
http://www.palyne.com/blog.psiche/warehousing/
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Reality = Physiology = Psychology = Spirituality = Cosmology = Geometry = Number = Sound = Form There is no difference.  Posts  Comments Identity is an arbitrary collection of consciousness assigned a title. My work is not just study; it's prayer, it's mental techniques, it's life habits. It's not just about inner worlds; discipline and physical environment matter. It's not just spiritual; my body and world is part of it. It's not just esoteric; everything corresponds integrally — the mundane, the arcane, the divine. It's not just an '-ology'; my own identity, body, reality, psyche is key to it all. The only tenets of truth I hold are based on personal experience.This effort has spanned my life, but not until ~1994 did it become intentional, not 'til late '00s did it become fairly 'serious'. I've gone through many models and philosophies over time, but now I've none except what experience teach me. I am ever the student, but I've reached a point of "fluency" and "internal guidance" where I don't care about labels or other peoples' paradigms.
CATEGORIES on this blog are extensive and nested. Most everything that matters or repeats much has a category.
The TAGS are just minor notes of reference trivia. They are usually a rare experience, or an observation about something I read.
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