I have found that:
  • → sincere prayer
  • → genuine intentions
  • → present-focus
  • → extended humor
  • → careful integrity
  • → constant work to discover and release all forms of bias in oneself
  • → dogged effort to pursue awareness, divine guidance and understanding
Leads a person to "interactive insight from the inside."

Consciously I want to evolve.
My ego resists strenuously.
I surreally "forget" so much!
So I blog for myself, mostly:
to re-read and remember.

People ask me where to begin with the complexity of the stuff on my blog. But my imaginal and related work spans 25 years as of 2016. So the real answer is "I don't know." I can't put all that in a sound bite. And one would have to understand, not just intellectually but experientially, a lot of it from start to middle to begin to understand where I am now. It is 'active imagination' work, resting on an extremely 'open' definition of archetype and energy, mapped at times to various occult patterns because they seem useful and otherwise just loosely personal; but that's not all. Short of how the blog speaks for itself that's about all I can say about it. It's a path I've built myself, for one. ~ Palyne

In the human spirit, as in the universe, nothing is higher or lower; everything has equal rights to a common center which manifests its hidden existence precisely through this harmonic relationship between every part and itself.
-- Goethe

Angels transcend every religion, every philosophy, every creed. In fact angels have no religion as we know it... their existence precedes every religious system that has ever existed on earth.
-- St. Thomas Aquinas

Recent Posts & Archives

  • 2018 (6)
  • 2017 (15)
  • 2016 (25)
  • 2015 (28)
  • 2014 (50)
  • 2013 (79)
  • 2012 (108)
  • 2011 (44)
  • 2010 (117)
  • 2009 (97)
  • 2008 (57)
  • 2007 (11)
  • 2005 (1)

In the beginning all was indivisible. And in becoming manifest, it became, seemingly, divisible. But the divisions must evolve to recognize themselves, and each other, and to then accept themselves, to truly know themselves by knowing each other. To begin, they are blended, confused; it is chaos, it is legion. They are all on the journey to indivisibility, to singularity, to the I AM. The point, of course, is not the destination, but the journey.

-- insight during the Princess of Disks meditation

Spiritual growth is like all other types: you absorb seemingly 'other' energy, and it becomes part of your own sense of identity. The growth is in awareness, and with that comes power which is always over Self.
Diversity is Legion;
Singularity is the I AM.
None of this is new although my approach to it is my own. -- Palyne

Inner Guide is Angelic. She is free of anything akin to doctrine. I call her an Angel because that is the only word I have for it, and because I know, all the way through me, that this is our word for her fundamentally divine nature. Aside from that, I don’t even know what she IS exactly, or what it means, or where it would fit into any model. She is life sized, soul wide, colors and gems and flowers and songs, everything beautiful that ever was, condensed into an identity I am completely in love with–except she feels like part of me too, so it’s like also being in love with yourself, and also with God, and also with the whole universe, both every tiny thing in your mundania, and ‘awareness’ as something so utterly, mind-bogglingly amazing — how could this exist? How could this not exist? How could I ever understand such a thing? — I am left only with joy, with awe.
-- on Inner Guide #4, aka 'Sedaena'. The first IG I had genuine conversation (and reading) with; the first real sign of my HGA.

He is so much inside and outside me, larger than me and yet the light of the tiniest particles of me, I don’t even have a word for whatever it is that he IS. I call him angelic and inner guide and the name he gave me because I have no idea what else to call this. It’s a Being and a Thing and an Event and a Place and a Relationship and… it’s like there is no label that is remotely big enough to encompass whatever it IS.
-- on Inner Guide #5, aka 'Mark.'

The boundary between the imaginational and imaginal is rather fuzzy and it is a developed skill and art to learn to stay there; to maintain your own autonomy while allowing the-others’ autonomy; to be shocked, astounded, grossed out, effused, and other surprise emotions from the interaction; all this without getting lost in the experience like a dream, yet also without pulling back to controlling the experience like a daydream. The former is being swept away by the river, and the latter is standing on the shore thinking about it; learning to walk the fine line of control and allowance to stay in that ‘imaginal realm’ actually takes practice. Crazy people think it’s all autonomous and happening ‘to’ them; people unable to allow this for themselves, may think it’s all imagination; and they’d both be right, because they are both lost; the goal is a whole world that bridges and encompasses both of those.

-- on "Interworlds Meditation"

Q: Where are you now?

Me: Well, back in my own reality.

Q: Wrong. You are in a reality version that distraction and denial have made for you.

Me: How do I get out?

Q: Wrong question. There is no space, there is no time. Where are you again?

Me: Oh. I’m wherever I "pay attention" to being.

Q: Right. You PAY attention. It is the currency of your soul. You rent your reality. Never forget that. The choice to move is yours.

Dealing with the unconscious has become a question of life for us.
The play of the imagination is incalculable.
~ Carl Jung

The imaginary can be innocuous, the imaginal never can.
~ Henry Corbin

A calling may be postponed, avoided, intermittently missed. It may also possess you completely. Whatever; eventually it will out. It makes its claim. The daimon does not go away.
~ James Hillman

There comes a time when the mind takes a higher plane of knowledge but can never prove how it got there.
-- Albert Einstein


This blog documents much of my work in the "inter-worlds" of a greater-self. It's not just esoteric: every thing corresponds — the mundane, the arcane, the divine. If it had to be summed up you might say it is "a universe of personalization." A strange place where monotheism and ultimate-pantheism are one and the same.

I am a natural mystic, if spontaneous experiences determine such a thing. I am not religious in any way; only guidance from the inside drives me. No identities or models unless they are introduced to me from the inside. (Sometimes I use them simply for interest, or because their models are convenient doorways -- but I accept none of their doctrines.) I briefly studied theology at one point, independently (I consider constant prayer a valid part of edu too), and where it led me was "anywhere-else." It's fine for others of course. I consider the heart of free will to be that everyone has their own road. Or as Heinlein once wrote, the right to go to hell in their own handbasket.

This tends to make me obsessed with the divine yet not religious at all, in any form, which is often confusing to onlookers. I am ever in love with and in closer pursuit of integration with The Christ (which I consider a solar-planetary deity, exceeding and preceding all possible religion, though cyclically present within our species) but I'm not remotely a modern Christian, and this also tends to be very confusing to onlookers. I'm a student of archetypes and pattern systems, yet not a jungian intellectual - armchair philosophy bores me - nor a power occultist - which has its own issues (and uniforms) to say the least.

After nearly two decades of certain experiences I felt alone with and thought were unique to me, it turns out I find some harmony in the gnostic writings. I didn't get it from there, and am not fond of that doctrine and the paradigms it came in with, so I ignore it. Which means despite talking about just a few things specific to it (by unknowing accident until a few years ago), I'm not part of that model either.

The road I walk is my own. It doesn't really have an easy label or anybody else on it, that I can see. This is between me and God, so it doesn't really need to work for anybody else. I used to wish I wasn't the only person with such experiences or practices, and started a blog in part in the hope I might find others with something similar. Maybe a need for community. I'm over that now, at least I think. I walk alone, but Light is with me. Can't ask for more than that.

-- Palyne

When we understand that perception is as much about source as target; that energy is a spectrum and best psi perception comes from the center, its balance and blend; that the manifest communication of our Selves is the literal 'reality' we experience; that everything in that reality is a profound 3D language element; that insight with the ‘center’ of spectrum is likely to be via the language-symbols of 'reality;' that these need to be interpreted at the level they are received; this is the path for intentional psi.
-- Insight on the Art of RV


Dreams, alter psychology, and a good meditation, despite all the inner silence.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Unconscious

MM w/IG 19-Apr: A Home in the Universe

We all feel that this ‘new castle’ is a celebration event.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at MM w/IG 19-Apr: A Home in the Universe

Misc. Meds

It occurs to me that there has been a fairly massive shift in my work with IG. And I have the feeling that really this is only the beginning. It’s a good thing, of course. But it’s a lot like the “boundaries of my self-protection” have come down, and that includes everything from psychology to spirituality to my body to my sense of reality. I think it’s a huge advance in my ability to do this stuff.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Misc. Meds


Well, what is IG if not the ultimate facilitator? Is she not the project manager of the ultimate toolset for reaching into our interior and getting exactly what we need? So I spent awhile praying related to that, related to finding the parts of me which most support divine will, and my ideal self, and a self that will have good habits, for my spiritual life and focus, and for health, and creativity.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Oroln

Bloom, Fandors and Pegasus

Them: This plant has a unique experience of Truth. When ingested, it shares this perspective with you.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Bloom, Fandors and Pegasus

Exxon in the Body and the Shield for Medusa

“Put it in front of me so I can’t miss it,” I tell the insiders. “Some lesser-problem that represents energy I have a serious issue with elsewhere, that I might better use some other facet/version of the same energy to work on.”

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Exxon in the Body and the Shield for Medusa

Viru and Maal

I notice barbershop quartet music somewhere, and I think, that is a rather different time period, is it not?? But then I’m distracted by a sudden seemingly profound thought: in addition to never having ‘modern world’ symbols in these, do you notice how they all ‘hold together with your expectations’? Like this is the old West, so you don’t see something from China in it for example. … It occurs to me there is no law saying something cannot have a similar symbolism. I mean… the whole concept of archetypes, really, is a repeat of symbols, forms and dynamics. Accept this, says the 3rd, so I do. … I’m an Aeon, she says. I just stare at her. You can’t be, I say, having struggled with that and decided. That’s impossible. There are only 12 and they are already accounted for. There are other groupings, she says. No, I insist.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Viru and Maal

Notes to Self, 22 Mar 12

Morning: Breathing with Jiri (Hot Amanakhaton).

Formerly-winged-guy felt more like 18% or so merged. Well, there is no ‘feeling’ involved just a ‘scan for awareness’ I’m doing.

Prayer. The real kind.

Did nothing else useful for most the day.

Late in day: freaked out for some reason. Actually ordered pizza and a 2L soda. Yes that’s very bad, not common for me but I was having some weird sudden moment I can’t explain, I wasn’t even really hungry and I had plenty of stuff (including carbs if that was the goal) at home. Took lots of gluten-ease but was only able to eat a few slices and had to force myself, at that. The whole thing tasted off. As if my body chemistry has changed in some weird way. The only thing that tasted weirder than the pizza was the soda (Sprite), that was especially icky-bizarre. It just didn’t have the good-brain-chemicals response this stuff normally would. How confusing! What a waste of money. I just put it all down and refused to eat or drink any more of it.

Formerly-winged-guy: about 23.something % merged. I’m wondering if I can blame the weird food response on him.

Late evening. Breathing with LaeLee, Calme, Nedlund.

I have felt especially affectionate about all the Aeons. Not really connected frankly. But affectionate. I prayed as part of each one today, to allow, to release and dissolve any resistance to their energy.

I felt at one point, that merely being allowed awareness of the

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Notes to Self, 22 Mar 12

Notes to Self, 21 Mar 12


Morning: I feel, at this moment, as if me and the formerly-winged-guy are sharing the same space, in terms of atomic particles, but are still almost fully separate. The ‘almost’ part took the whole night and morning to get to and still barely anything. It’s things like this that make me feel I’m just imagining it all.

Didn’t mean to fall asleep for my lunch time.

Afternoon: Breathing with Ithikah. Breathing with L’Anna. Breathing with Ray.

Took the Joplin Tornado pics off my phone and onto my computer. I haven’t even looked at them since the day I took them (2 weeks after it occurred) and I have never removed them from the phone. It’s like some massive passive aggressive response based on how it traumatized me. I just couldn’t, wouldn’t even think about it. Now all the sudden I just had the urge to deal with it and get it done.

Feel now as if formerly-winged-guy is now ‘a larger percentage’ of me, except it doesn’t feel any different… hard to explain. I had this impression that this was happening very slowly to prevent my subconscious rejecting it outright. It’s still only a small %. Like maybe 11 or so.

Humor: when I was initially attempting to merge with him, I had this sudden ‘notice’ of a prominent, er, body part he has, because of the associated lover painting linked to yesterday I’m sure, which made me laugh. Well I was typing something – oh, about a tarot

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Notes to Self, 21 Mar 12

Notes to Self, 20 Mar 12

Early morning: Made some graphic ‘sigils’ of the first group of Aeons, from the current round. I am not yet sure if I will do something with this, or if this concept of sigils (meaning, a specific combination of energies in a specific sequence) even means anything or not.

Morning to afternoon: Did ‘breathing with’ Nero, Bolehren, Marcan and Taan. Got that idea of 10 slow deep breaths, breathing them in, breathing them out, from Dominon (who was Mondnom at the time, I’d just met him) as it was his idea and he was doing that with me. Seems to work pretty well.

I gave them each a tablet of signed slips for ‘override’ of my defenses-etc. Got that idea of the blank check or “decree” from the arch in The Devic Kingdom of Me meditation.


Late Afternoon: Briefly talked with the recent guide I met w/IG who said he handled “Instinctual things, habitual, ritual things, and natively programmed instincts.” Tried to get his name. Instead of a name I just see this color/shape that reminds me of some stacked figs I once saw in a magazine ad. Oddly, it seems reasonable that if it were translated into sound, it might be a sound “with ‘ee’ in the middle, except sideways.” The spacial stuff that mixes with sound is just so weird! I bet this is Nedlund’s area — sound that has ‘extra dimension’. Or throat chakra, since I notice there are

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Notes to Self, 20 Mar 12

The Door to My Psiche (and other misc.)

Most of us can “analogy” our lives ok. At least the significant stuff. We can look at events, or circumstance, and come up with “what this might represent if it were a dream symbol,” with a little thought.

Recently I had a rather different way of getting that information. It just hit me like a “sudden amazed realization,” as if the information about my reality, and what it meant in a certain way, was delivered to me with utter clarity all wrapped up into one moment.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at The Door to My Psiche (and other misc.)

The Rider

A vision?, a daydream?, a wandering in time, I guess. This had a curious feel, as if the story were entirely separate from me (rolling out on its own) yet all the ‘energy’ for the unrolling had to come from me to propell it. Difficult to explain. Like it was a film reel, but I had to run the projector.

It was a mountain of snow and literally months of travel and then many weeks of walking and climbing, and me and my men and the animals were near-frozen by the time we reached the small castle buried in the folds of the rock.

We wore heavy dark-furred boots that went past our knees, and dark-furred coats that went nearly to the ground, and over our hoods we had dark-furred brimmed hats. Our faces were covered with some light material close-up, but nearly covered anyway by the folds of the furred hoods and the low brim of the hats.

Our hands were gloved in the same dark fur and we all held large fairly heavy sticks that I felt were sheathed swords mostly, but a couple of different shape had shot (like single-shot), and we all used them as walking staffs. Mine was much lighter, though it certainly didn’t feel like it by then, as I struggled to keep on, and we all gasped for breath in the thin air. We had lost two men on this trek so far and I felt their deaths keenly as my responsibility. We

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at The Rider