I have found that:
  • → sincere prayer
  • → genuine intentions
  • → present-focus
  • → extended humor
  • → careful integrity
  • → constant work to discover and release all forms of bias in oneself
  • → dogged effort to pursue awareness, divine guidance and understanding
Leads a person to "interactive insight from the inside."

Consciously I want to evolve.
My ego resists strenuously.
I surreally "forget" so much!
So I blog for myself, mostly:
to re-read and remember.

People ask me where to begin with the complexity of the stuff on my blog. But my imaginal and related work spans 25 years as of 2016. So the real answer is "I don't know." I can't put all that in a sound bite. And one would have to understand, not just intellectually but experientially, a lot of it from start to middle to begin to understand where I am now. It is 'active imagination' work, resting on an extremely 'open' definition of archetype and energy, mapped at times to various occult patterns because they seem useful and otherwise just loosely personal; but that's not all. Short of how the blog speaks for itself that's about all I can say about it. It's a path I've built myself, for one. ~ Palyne

In the human spirit, as in the universe, nothing is higher or lower; everything has equal rights to a common center which manifests its hidden existence precisely through this harmonic relationship between every part and itself.
-- Goethe

Angels transcend every religion, every philosophy, every creed. In fact angels have no religion as we know it... their existence precedes every religious system that has ever existed on earth.
-- St. Thomas Aquinas

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In the beginning all was indivisible. And in becoming manifest, it became, seemingly, divisible. But the divisions must evolve to recognize themselves, and each other, and to then accept themselves, to truly know themselves by knowing each other. To begin, they are blended, confused; it is chaos, it is legion. They are all on the journey to indivisibility, to singularity, to the I AM. The point, of course, is not the destination, but the journey.

-- insight during the Princess of Disks meditation

Spiritual growth is like all other types: you absorb seemingly 'other' energy, and it becomes part of your own sense of identity. The growth is in awareness, and with that comes power which is always over Self.
Diversity is Legion;
Singularity is the I AM.
None of this is new although my approach to it is my own. -- Palyne

Inner Guide is Angelic. She is free of anything akin to doctrine. I call her an Angel because that is the only word I have for it, and because I know, all the way through me, that this is our word for her fundamentally divine nature. Aside from that, I don’t even know what she IS exactly, or what it means, or where it would fit into any model. She is life sized, soul wide, colors and gems and flowers and songs, everything beautiful that ever was, condensed into an identity I am completely in love with–except she feels like part of me too, so it’s like also being in love with yourself, and also with God, and also with the whole universe, both every tiny thing in your mundania, and ‘awareness’ as something so utterly, mind-bogglingly amazing — how could this exist? How could this not exist? How could I ever understand such a thing? — I am left only with joy, with awe.
-- on Inner Guide #4, aka 'Sedaena'. The first IG I had genuine conversation (and reading) with; the first real sign of my HGA.

He is so much inside and outside me, larger than me and yet the light of the tiniest particles of me, I don’t even have a word for whatever it is that he IS. I call him angelic and inner guide and the name he gave me because I have no idea what else to call this. It’s a Being and a Thing and an Event and a Place and a Relationship and… it’s like there is no label that is remotely big enough to encompass whatever it IS.
-- on Inner Guide #5, aka 'Mark.'

The boundary between the imaginational and imaginal is rather fuzzy and it is a developed skill and art to learn to stay there; to maintain your own autonomy while allowing the-others’ autonomy; to be shocked, astounded, grossed out, effused, and other surprise emotions from the interaction; all this without getting lost in the experience like a dream, yet also without pulling back to controlling the experience like a daydream. The former is being swept away by the river, and the latter is standing on the shore thinking about it; learning to walk the fine line of control and allowance to stay in that ‘imaginal realm’ actually takes practice. Crazy people think it’s all autonomous and happening ‘to’ them; people unable to allow this for themselves, may think it’s all imagination; and they’d both be right, because they are both lost; the goal is a whole world that bridges and encompasses both of those.

-- on "Interworlds Meditation"

Q: Where are you now?

Me: Well, back in my own reality.

Q: Wrong. You are in a reality version that distraction and denial have made for you.

Me: How do I get out?

Q: Wrong question. There is no space, there is no time. Where are you again?

Me: Oh. I’m wherever I "pay attention" to being.

Q: Right. You PAY attention. It is the currency of your soul. You rent your reality. Never forget that. The choice to move is yours.

Dealing with the unconscious has become a question of life for us.
The play of the imagination is incalculable.
~ Carl Jung

The imaginary can be innocuous, the imaginal never can.
~ Henry Corbin

A calling may be postponed, avoided, intermittently missed. It may also possess you completely. Whatever; eventually it will out. It makes its claim. The daimon does not go away.
~ James Hillman

There comes a time when the mind takes a higher plane of knowledge but can never prove how it got there.
-- Albert Einstein


This blog documents much of my work in the "inter-worlds" of a greater-self. It's not just esoteric: every thing corresponds — the mundane, the arcane, the divine. If it had to be summed up you might say it is "a universe of personalization." A strange place where monotheism and ultimate-pantheism are one and the same.

I am a natural mystic, if spontaneous experiences determine such a thing. I am not religious in any way; only guidance from the inside drives me. No identities or models unless they are introduced to me from the inside. (Sometimes I use them simply for interest, or because their models are convenient doorways -- but I accept none of their doctrines.) I briefly studied theology at one point, independently (I consider constant prayer a valid part of edu too), and where it led me was "anywhere-else." It's fine for others of course. I consider the heart of free will to be that everyone has their own road. Or as Heinlein once wrote, the right to go to hell in their own handbasket.

This tends to make me obsessed with the divine yet not religious at all, in any form, which is often confusing to onlookers. I am ever in love with and in closer pursuit of integration with The Christ (which I consider a solar-planetary deity, exceeding and preceding all possible religion, though cyclically present within our species) but I'm not remotely a modern Christian, and this also tends to be very confusing to onlookers. I'm a student of archetypes and pattern systems, yet not a jungian intellectual - armchair philosophy bores me - nor a power occultist - which has its own issues (and uniforms) to say the least.

After nearly two decades of certain experiences I felt alone with and thought were unique to me, it turns out I find some harmony in the gnostic writings. I didn't get it from there, and am not fond of that doctrine and the paradigms it came in with, so I ignore it. Which means despite talking about just a few things specific to it (by unknowing accident until a few years ago), I'm not part of that model either.

The road I walk is my own. It doesn't really have an easy label or anybody else on it, that I can see. This is between me and God, so it doesn't really need to work for anybody else. I used to wish I wasn't the only person with such experiences or practices, and started a blog in part in the hope I might find others with something similar. Maybe a need for community. I'm over that now, at least I think. I walk alone, but Light is with me. Can't ask for more than that.

-- Palyne

When we understand that perception is as much about source as target; that energy is a spectrum and best psi perception comes from the center, its balance and blend; that the manifest communication of our Selves is the literal 'reality' we experience; that everything in that reality is a profound 3D language element; that insight with the ‘center’ of spectrum is likely to be via the language-symbols of 'reality;' that these need to be interpreted at the level they are received; this is the path for intentional psi.
-- Insight on the Art of RV

The Eye of the Universe

I saw an eye. It surprised me. It was like a cross between a real eye, and a computer icon, and also a carved eye like in a statue, somehow. It didn’t move at all. But it was looking at me. Like it was ‘a symbol of awareness.’

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at The Eye of the Universe

The True Self, and Eating Disorders

It was so devious that I suddenly had a huge humor about it — I couldn’t help but admire the strategy. Sneaky!

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at The True Self, and Eating Disorders

The Glory we are Borne of

And I talked to Sun, as Ra sometimes, and I slid into a state of mind local to the mood, I suppose. I loved Sun. And I loved Earth. And I recognized myself as smaller than an atomic particle comparatively and yet, borne of them, and I loved me, for being that wondrous, miraculous creature of them.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at The Glory we are Borne of


I had all but forgotten that my best friend had bought me this cool textile of the River of Sky — the “nature god” I’ve had a couple of experiences with, one via IG’s brief introduction [IG and the Flying Dragon], one via that 1st-person memory-story of some woman’s life [The Rider].

This one is (as they all are) just a stylized version of the ‘long Chinese dragon’ but it works, it’s fun. It’s in tan/ brown/ cream/ black and it was made to be a full sized bedspread so it’s about 88×108 inches. (Pic) I had intended to hang it as a tapestry and I finally decided suddenly that I must do it. RIGHT NOW. Not sure why!

It turned out the local hardware store only had 4′ dowels and this is 8-9′ wide. So instead, I got 4 each 4′ length, and I actually hung this in a ‘corner’ of my room, a little over 4 feet out each way. One goes right to the edge of my window/curtains. The other goes to about 2.5′ from the door of my closet. In that open space stands my Japanese shoji lamp, which is tan and cream color. I like it so much I think I’m going to get this OM textile (which is a match to size and color scheme) and put it across from that in my room.

This drastically

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Memory

A different kind of healing

I had a meditation which I didn’t bother to blog about although it was translate-able just fine. This always reflects denial on my part although, being in denial, I forgot that. :-) I put off meditating for a long time. Then I did another — and in a way it also reflected the same thing. Which I didn’t blog. And decided didn’t matter… again.

I was doing something else on my computer when the “observance and realization” just arrived that the last two meditations IG worked with me on, I have essentially invalidated, by choosing to not blog them — for social insecurity reasons.

This seemed so reasonable to me, previous to a few minutes ago when I felt like a complete dolt. So, on the assumption I can at least mention the fragments I recall, I came here to blog them.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at A different kind of healing

Solar Self Meets the Largers

I could hear behind me the rhythmic sound of sawing, like through wood. I decided to go find the source of the sawing sound. So I turned and walked that way, shortly coming on a man sawing a piece of wood.

It was the 3rd. I was a little nonplussed, as I thought this would be something like an archmed, but I reminded myself IG can do whatever she wants and I need to let go of assumptions.

Me: What are you doing here?

3rd: Building a structure to hold the light.

That made me go ‘hmmmn.’ I watched him for a bit. Damn but he is beautiful in his primary form that he presents to me in. He’s human-ish, slightly larger than our species, with the larger bluer more slanted eyes and white hair. After awhile I said, “I’ll join you.” And I stepped into him and we sawed together.

After a few moments of this, I felt IG suggesting I close my eyes and allow dark silence, which is often how we begin things.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Solar Self Meets the Largers

Background Changes in Humanity

I was dreaming just now (fell asleep writing this, sitting in bed with lapto). I was dreaming. “I get that this [a chakra] is the Themelian chop-off point,” I was saying to I think the 3rd, “but — “

— and then I woke up super abruptly, feeling like he woke me up so I would HEAR that, would remember what I had just said. […]

It felt like some… some people or species… they just ended right there, abruptly kind of, like they came through and were surprisingly large in our chest at times but didn’t normally extend very much outward themselves though energy could — the “chop-off” term was mine and as usual I was being kind of irritatingly over-exaggerating I suppose. Like they came through — oh. Yeah. Like ‘tunneling through at that point’.

I remember better now. I think it was the heart chakra and those are the… uh… the chakra-beings. They are like a horizontal species, hahaha. (I’m surprised their name is even translate-able. I mean, the Largers names’ aren’t.)

They exist from the bottom to the top of the heart chakra though they reach up a little in each outlet (person) to meet the download reaching of the crown, meeting at the chakra just above (in me, the upper chest where The Four connect with me, the ‘secret key’ of zero or nothingness, the hidden sephiroth, various concepts I’ve gotten for that over time). The species is of course existent in that range of frequency which is not just about humans (though it extends like a bandwidth through us, we are more vertical so to speak) it’s a whole part of the universe. That is their reality.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Background Changes in Humanity

Authority and Money

This is one of those that I expected something from — maybe a monster. A ‘thing’ sort of archetype.

And it ended up being something so completely different as an experience, that later on, I realized I had no idea how the experience related to that issue at all. Apparently IG’s understanding of this is deeper than mine… not surprising I guess.

During the experience, it seemed profoundly, cosmically meaningful, ‘amazed realizations’ and ‘shaking with sobs at the power of it’ kind of thing, repeatedly throughout it.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Authority and Money

Sylphs and the Four

I slept since this happened so I have forgotten much of it. I suspect it’s going to sound even stupider as a result.

I was doing my morning prayers. As I have felt very separated from everything for awhile, this was my, “to whom it may concern” level prayer. I thank God for my life. I thank IG for her awesome self and ask her to please stay involved with guidance and insight with me. And I attempt to bring the Four close in the body-place where we all connect, between the heart and throat chakras. For some time now, this entire series has pretty much no experiential result at all.

This morning it did. I sensed IG. And I really sensed the 3rd, and then all Four of us together. Just yesterday I wrote a post about being in neutral so I had kind of accepted that and was surprised that all the sudden, at least these things were back in me again.

I was sitting ‘with’ the Four. We seemed slightly different. More… active, perhaps. I mention this and the 3rd tells me, We have been, since the _____. My brain tells me this word means “discovery” but I feel that was not the word he used. The word, whatever it was, almost meant something like an agreement of union of two different groups of people; a joint venture, in business, don’t know what it is outside that.

[Discovery]? I say, surprised and even ever so slightly amused-yet-irked.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Sylphs and the Four

The Spaces Between

I have noticed, over time, that I cyclically have a phase where my eyes keep unfocussing. Where I will realize that a moment ago I was doing something but now I’m neither doing nor thinking, and my eyes are open, but completely unfocused.

After awhile it starts to bother me that I am living my life in trance and I start forcing myself to stop that. I don’t know why it’s more common in certain cycles.

I made an effort to meditate on several occasions yesterday. Somehow the moment I began, there was this whole list of things that seemed impossible to get through without getting mentally lost. The simple cleansing visualization kept doing me in. I never even got to the point of starting the actual meditation part with Inner Guide. I was intending to do Six of Disks (“Success”).

Today I will get to it, let alone through it.


I found this quote from Jung that I feel concurs with what I was saying about astrology in my previous post — that there is clearly a correspondence between the solar system and humans, but that I feel it is a parallel secondary effect — certainly I do not feel the stars are a ’cause’ as seems to be the popular view. Jung wrote, in 1947:

Astrology is of particular interest to the psychologist, since it contains a sort of psychological experience which we call projected–this means that we find the psychological facts as it were in the

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at The Spaces Between


I found this in draft mode from 12/23/2009. Thought I would publish it even though it just makes me sound like a retard.

draft was:

I have repeatedly been encountering something in both dream and meditative not-sleep states and instantly forgetting it. Geez it bugs me when that happens. It means that I am not ok with it. Usually the first thing that helps me start getting enough brain-handle on something is to give it a label or name. Even if it’s not accurate, it still puts it in the logical-mind category, which ties into some kind of existing belief system or at least association. It’s a foothold, of sorts. I never remember these moments except when I am abruptly realizing I have just ‘forgotten something’ which is the same thing I have forgotten repeatedly.

I’ve been spontaneously thinking more about nature devas lately for some reason.

Maybe it relates. Because early this morning, for just an instant, I realized the thing I was observing, with some level of my mind, was the thing I’ve forgotten innumerable times, and just before my brain “closed down and shut it out”, someone in my head yelled, SPRITES! — as their label. That’s what they are, the things I keep perceiving and closing down. I mean they yelled it at me quickly like to make sure I heard it!

Now I know why I had the odd niggling Deja Vu recently during that movie Avatar in 3D. (You MUST go see that —

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Sprites

My Body, My Avatar

I’ve never meditated with the archetype of my body. I once did my right leg. The arch was stunning and glorious, in iridescent colors, literally seemed angelic to me, and I passed out, my normal response to energy I’m not really ready to deal with. But I’ve never focused on my whole body.

My body and I have a love-hate relationship. It loves to stay fat, and I hate it for doing so. All the endless science and research and hormones and more aside, it all comes down to my body’s metabolism, and the impact that my ridiculously large body has on my life in so many ways.

Maybe most people would be considering the medical issues. But me, that I can eat what someone 1/3 my size does and stay fat (or, if it’s high in carbs, get fatter) — I take it pretty personally.

Long ago, right around the time I gained about 200# in a bit less than 2 years, my body suddenly decided that my fat cells were precious and it was not letting go. No amount of undereating, exercising, did anything but make me feel horrible in a dozen ways. It ruined the career I’d planned my whole life. And it severely screwed up my social life, sex life, and even business life (to a lesser degree, from the social-reasons) across the board.

There are genetic animal models of this metabolic behavior. Rats or mice that fed the same food as other rats, will predictably

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at My Body, My Avatar