I have found that:
  • → sincere prayer
  • → genuine intentions
  • → present-focus
  • → extended humor
  • → careful integrity
  • → constant work to discover and release all forms of bias in oneself
  • → dogged effort to pursue awareness, divine guidance and understanding
Leads a person to "interactive insight from the inside."

Consciously I want to evolve.
My ego resists strenuously.
I surreally "forget" so much!
So I blog for myself, mostly:
to re-read and remember.

People ask me where to begin with the complexity of the stuff on my blog. But my imaginal and related work spans 25 years as of 2016. So the real answer is "I don't know." I can't put all that in a sound bite. And one would have to understand, not just intellectually but experientially, a lot of it from start to middle to begin to understand where I am now. It is 'active imagination' work, resting on an extremely 'open' definition of archetype and energy, mapped at times to various occult patterns because they seem useful and otherwise just loosely personal; but that's not all. Short of how the blog speaks for itself that's about all I can say about it. It's a path I've built myself, for one. ~ Palyne

In the human spirit, as in the universe, nothing is higher or lower; everything has equal rights to a common center which manifests its hidden existence precisely through this harmonic relationship between every part and itself.
-- Goethe

Angels transcend every religion, every philosophy, every creed. In fact angels have no religion as we know it... their existence precedes every religious system that has ever existed on earth.
-- St. Thomas Aquinas

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In the beginning all was indivisible. And in becoming manifest, it became, seemingly, divisible. But the divisions must evolve to recognize themselves, and each other, and to then accept themselves, to truly know themselves by knowing each other. To begin, they are blended, confused; it is chaos, it is legion. They are all on the journey to indivisibility, to singularity, to the I AM. The point, of course, is not the destination, but the journey.

-- insight during the Princess of Disks meditation

Spiritual growth is like all other types: you absorb seemingly 'other' energy, and it becomes part of your own sense of identity. The growth is in awareness, and with that comes power which is always over Self.
Diversity is Legion;
Singularity is the I AM.
None of this is new although my approach to it is my own. -- Palyne

Inner Guide is Angelic. She is free of anything akin to doctrine. I call her an Angel because that is the only word I have for it, and because I know, all the way through me, that this is our word for her fundamentally divine nature. Aside from that, I don’t even know what she IS exactly, or what it means, or where it would fit into any model. She is life sized, soul wide, colors and gems and flowers and songs, everything beautiful that ever was, condensed into an identity I am completely in love with–except she feels like part of me too, so it’s like also being in love with yourself, and also with God, and also with the whole universe, both every tiny thing in your mundania, and ‘awareness’ as something so utterly, mind-bogglingly amazing — how could this exist? How could this not exist? How could I ever understand such a thing? — I am left only with joy, with awe.
-- on Inner Guide #4, aka 'Sedaena'. The first IG I had genuine conversation (and reading) with; the first real sign of my HGA.

He is so much inside and outside me, larger than me and yet the light of the tiniest particles of me, I don’t even have a word for whatever it is that he IS. I call him angelic and inner guide and the name he gave me because I have no idea what else to call this. It’s a Being and a Thing and an Event and a Place and a Relationship and… it’s like there is no label that is remotely big enough to encompass whatever it IS.
-- on Inner Guide #5, aka 'Mark.'

The boundary between the imaginational and imaginal is rather fuzzy and it is a developed skill and art to learn to stay there; to maintain your own autonomy while allowing the-others’ autonomy; to be shocked, astounded, grossed out, effused, and other surprise emotions from the interaction; all this without getting lost in the experience like a dream, yet also without pulling back to controlling the experience like a daydream. The former is being swept away by the river, and the latter is standing on the shore thinking about it; learning to walk the fine line of control and allowance to stay in that ‘imaginal realm’ actually takes practice. Crazy people think it’s all autonomous and happening ‘to’ them; people unable to allow this for themselves, may think it’s all imagination; and they’d both be right, because they are both lost; the goal is a whole world that bridges and encompasses both of those.

-- on "Interworlds Meditation"

Q: Where are you now?

Me: Well, back in my own reality.

Q: Wrong. You are in a reality version that distraction and denial have made for you.

Me: How do I get out?

Q: Wrong question. There is no space, there is no time. Where are you again?

Me: Oh. I’m wherever I "pay attention" to being.

Q: Right. You PAY attention. It is the currency of your soul. You rent your reality. Never forget that. The choice to move is yours.

Dealing with the unconscious has become a question of life for us.
The play of the imagination is incalculable.
~ Carl Jung

The imaginary can be innocuous, the imaginal never can.
~ Henry Corbin

A calling may be postponed, avoided, intermittently missed. It may also possess you completely. Whatever; eventually it will out. It makes its claim. The daimon does not go away.
~ James Hillman

There comes a time when the mind takes a higher plane of knowledge but can never prove how it got there.
-- Albert Einstein


This blog documents much of my work in the "inter-worlds" of a greater-self. It's not just esoteric: every thing corresponds — the mundane, the arcane, the divine. If it had to be summed up you might say it is "a universe of personalization." A strange place where monotheism and ultimate-pantheism are one and the same.

I am a natural mystic, if spontaneous experiences determine such a thing. I am not religious in any way; only guidance from the inside drives me. No identities or models unless they are introduced to me from the inside. (Sometimes I use them simply for interest, or because their models are convenient doorways -- but I accept none of their doctrines.) I briefly studied theology at one point, independently (I consider constant prayer a valid part of edu too), and where it led me was "anywhere-else." It's fine for others of course. I consider the heart of free will to be that everyone has their own road. Or as Heinlein once wrote, the right to go to hell in their own handbasket.

This tends to make me obsessed with the divine yet not religious at all, in any form, which is often confusing to onlookers. I am ever in love with and in closer pursuit of integration with The Christ (which I consider a solar-planetary deity, exceeding and preceding all possible religion, though cyclically present within our species) but I'm not remotely a modern Christian, and this also tends to be very confusing to onlookers. I'm a student of archetypes and pattern systems, yet not a jungian intellectual - armchair philosophy bores me - nor a power occultist - which has its own issues (and uniforms) to say the least.

After nearly two decades of certain experiences I felt alone with and thought were unique to me, it turns out I find some harmony in the gnostic writings. I didn't get it from there, and am not fond of that doctrine and the paradigms it came in with, so I ignore it. Which means despite talking about just a few things specific to it (by unknowing accident until a few years ago), I'm not part of that model either.

The road I walk is my own. It doesn't really have an easy label or anybody else on it, that I can see. This is between me and God, so it doesn't really need to work for anybody else. I used to wish I wasn't the only person with such experiences or practices, and started a blog in part in the hope I might find others with something similar. Maybe a need for community. I'm over that now, at least I think. I walk alone, but Light is with me. Can't ask for more than that.

-- Palyne

When we understand that perception is as much about source as target; that energy is a spectrum and best psi perception comes from the center, its balance and blend; that the manifest communication of our Selves is the literal 'reality' we experience; that everything in that reality is a profound 3D language element; that insight with the ‘center’ of spectrum is likely to be via the language-symbols of 'reality;' that these need to be interpreted at the level they are received; this is the path for intentional psi.
-- Insight on the Art of RV

The Eye of the Universe

I saw an eye. It surprised me. It was like a cross between a real eye, and a computer icon, and also a carved eye like in a statue, somehow. It didn’t move at all. But it was looking at me. Like it was ‘a symbol of awareness.’

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at The Eye of the Universe

LaeLee, Calme and Nedlund

And then we saw it in the distance: an actual dragon. “I met one in a dream once!” I told the Aeons with some excitement. “Huge and terrifying, but also amazing and psychic. But it ate people. Scary deadly.”

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at LaeLee, Calme and Nedlund

The Door to My Psiche (and other misc.)

Most of us can “analogy” our lives ok. At least the significant stuff. We can look at events, or circumstance, and come up with “what this might represent if it were a dream symbol,” with a little thought.

Recently I had a rather different way of getting that information. It just hit me like a “sudden amazed realization,” as if the information about my reality, and what it meant in a certain way, was delivered to me with utter clarity all wrapped up into one moment.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at The Door to My Psiche (and other misc.)

When Inner Opinions Differ

Long before I discovered a whole consortium or coalition of identities that composed me, I’d had the experience of having ‘different parts of me inside’ seem to have different opinions on things. Anybody who’s ever been made passive/aggressive by some ongoing situation knows what it’s like to feel like you are fighting yourself. Or anybody who’s ever dealt with self-sabotage, or things like that. We all have many perspectives. The problems start when one is not fully dominant. When, essentially, the inner opinions are at war for dominance.

My reality is falling apart especially in the area of ‘communication’. The number of reality-symbols related to an issue there, as if my inner world is forcing me back to myself and I’m resisting, would be hilarious if they weren’t really annoying up close. At this point it’s almost astronomically unlikely that the things which have occurred would all occur together. As if some pattern is imposed upon reality.

Humor: while typing this paragraph my keyboard freaked out and my computer died. I’m finishing it on a borrowed computer two days later. I rest my case!

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at When Inner Opinions Differ


There comes a time when you just wake up one day and realize that you are responsible for yourself and that anything you want, only you can get.

And there comes a time when you realize that you could be so much more than you are, and that your limits are more a matter of avoiding the responsibility of becoming your fuller potential, than anything else.

The other day somewhat out of the blue I just ‘understood’ what the Queen meant in the dream where I said I didn’t know why I was with the 4, all powerful psychics when I wasn’t, and she said they understood that I was still pretending all that but they trusted that I would grow past this and accept myself and become more one with them.

And I went to the Four and I told them, ok. I’m here, now. I’m done with that denial. I’m getting old. It’s time for me to finally grow up. Take responsibility for myself.

This requires behaviors in your physical world, the Senior said as a reminder.

I understood what he meant, then and from previous conversations. One doesn’t get more and more fluid with the all-of-them unless they spend consistent time interacting with the all-of-them, or whatever aspects of it they can. You don’t usually get much better at music, sports, or academic topics unless you spend some time studying or practicing. This is just the nature of experience.

So, that means regular time spent ‘touching base’

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Responsibility

Aeon Round, Weaving

I was going to call my friend and go to sleep when I thought, well I should do an Aeon Round first. I grabbed my beads and made myself comfortable. Ithikah, I said, how about you help me here. What could I do that would be novel and neat?

He had this idea about ‘sewing’ the energy of me into each Aeon or vice-versa but no matter how I went about that I had this sort of feeling like ‘something punctured’ so that just didn’t work. We thought of other ideas and discarded them. We came back to the first and looked at alternatives, strings, etc. when I said, hey wait! IG used to “weave me” with RV targets when I was doing archetype-RV. Basically she would ‘unwind us’ into a string that she ‘wove’ with the other from the feet up until we were ‘merged’. I would keep that until after feedback and then she would “de-weave” us.

That’s how experiences like the one with the target of Ganymede (more sentient than I am, it turns out) happened, because I was still ‘merged’ with it when I was getting feedback, so G’s opinion on our opinion on what G was like was suddenly apparent, as if it were viewing or in rapport with me, and it all took off from there.That weaving was definitely in line with the ‘threads’ concept Ithikah had so we both loved the idea, and IG was clearly game to help out. She did it

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Aeon Round, Weaving

Rambling 04Dec09

I have a variety of e-post-it notes that I’d wanted to collect here, so it’s archived, together, and later I can find it. Many different topics here, copied from those or narrative.


My memory is so bizarrely “iffy” when it comes to this entire topic that if I didn’t blog everything (to the point of boring even myself) it would be gone forever. Not only does re-reading my blog remind me of things that I had forgotten and their details, but often it reminds me for the fourth time. Or more! Is that weird or what. It just falls out of my brain.

It’s like that movie ’50 First Dates’ where the woman has brain damage and every day is the same day from years ago and she has zero memory of anything since. So she wakes up each morning to a video that explains her situation, shows her her kids, and so on! I’m not quite THAT bad, but when it comes to remembering my “shamanic” life, so to speak, at any given time I have pieces, not the whole.

On the other hand, I notice in talking with other people that even if they record their dreams or meditations they tend to forget them and in re-reading them, finding their dream log later, some are refreshers they’d forgotten and some they don’t remember at all. Maybe this is normal.

…or not. I’ll say more about this later but I think I’m going to do a

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Rambling 04Dec09

LaeLee, L’Anna, Healers and Blocks

I’ve been sick with asthma, allergies, cold symptoms, for over six weeks. Longest I have ever been sick in my life. Mind you it’s not bad for most of that, it’s just annoying and saps my energy to do much of anything. The problem is that off and on, I’ve been eating terribly. Pizza will give me asthma for days. Bread and pasta will give me major asthma for 1-2 days. Junk food (fast food, packaged food) with gluten will make it even worse. The less energy I have the less I feel like cooking and cleaning, so this becomes a sort of downward spiral.

Because my eating the last couple weeks has been terrible–all of those things–by last night I had realized that even my Albuterol inhaler was failing to clear up my lungs more than about 50%. My breathing sounded frightening, as it has for a long time, but especially because I’d eaten a bunch of pumpernickel bread with fresh garlic cheese spread just earlier. Even with the inhaler it’d be a miracle if I breathed much during sleep (I have such sleep apnea anyway), and by morning my asthma would be bad enough to make me sound like a Darth Vader choir. Again.

Some kind of self-destructive, I am.


As far as ‘physical representations’ of the Aeons go, I’ve spent more time on LaeLee than any of the others. Maybe than all of the others.

The problem is, there is a picture, a painting actually, that

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at LaeLee, L’Anna, Healers and Blocks