I have found that:
  • → sincere prayer
  • → genuine intentions
  • → present-focus
  • → extended humor
  • → careful integrity
  • → constant work to discover and release all forms of bias in oneself
  • → dogged effort to pursue awareness, divine guidance and understanding
Leads a person to "interactive insight from the inside."

Consciously I want to evolve.
My ego resists strenuously.
I surreally "forget" so much!
So I blog for myself, mostly:
to re-read and remember.

People ask me where to begin with the complexity of the stuff on my blog. But my imaginal and related work spans 25 years as of 2016. So the real answer is "I don't know." I can't put all that in a sound bite. And one would have to understand, not just intellectually but experientially, a lot of it from start to middle to begin to understand where I am now. It is 'active imagination' work, resting on an extremely 'open' definition of archetype and energy, mapped at times to various occult patterns because they seem useful and otherwise just loosely personal; but that's not all. Short of how the blog speaks for itself that's about all I can say about it. It's a path I've built myself, for one. ~ Palyne

In the human spirit, as in the universe, nothing is higher or lower; everything has equal rights to a common center which manifests its hidden existence precisely through this harmonic relationship between every part and itself.
-- Goethe

Angels transcend every religion, every philosophy, every creed. In fact angels have no religion as we know it... their existence precedes every religious system that has ever existed on earth.
-- St. Thomas Aquinas

Recent Posts & Archives

  • 2018 (6)
  • 2017 (15)
  • 2016 (25)
  • 2015 (28)
  • 2014 (50)
  • 2013 (79)
  • 2012 (108)
  • 2011 (44)
  • 2010 (117)
  • 2009 (97)
  • 2008 (57)
  • 2007 (11)
  • 2005 (1)

In the beginning all was indivisible. And in becoming manifest, it became, seemingly, divisible. But the divisions must evolve to recognize themselves, and each other, and to then accept themselves, to truly know themselves by knowing each other. To begin, they are blended, confused; it is chaos, it is legion. They are all on the journey to indivisibility, to singularity, to the I AM. The point, of course, is not the destination, but the journey.

-- insight during the Princess of Disks meditation

Spiritual growth is like all other types: you absorb seemingly 'other' energy, and it becomes part of your own sense of identity. The growth is in awareness, and with that comes power which is always over Self.
Diversity is Legion;
Singularity is the I AM.
None of this is new although my approach to it is my own. -- Palyne

Inner Guide is Angelic. She is free of anything akin to doctrine. I call her an Angel because that is the only word I have for it, and because I know, all the way through me, that this is our word for her fundamentally divine nature. Aside from that, I don’t even know what she IS exactly, or what it means, or where it would fit into any model. She is life sized, soul wide, colors and gems and flowers and songs, everything beautiful that ever was, condensed into an identity I am completely in love with–except she feels like part of me too, so it’s like also being in love with yourself, and also with God, and also with the whole universe, both every tiny thing in your mundania, and ‘awareness’ as something so utterly, mind-bogglingly amazing — how could this exist? How could this not exist? How could I ever understand such a thing? — I am left only with joy, with awe.
-- on Inner Guide #4, aka 'Sedaena'. The first IG I had genuine conversation (and reading) with; the first real sign of my HGA.

He is so much inside and outside me, larger than me and yet the light of the tiniest particles of me, I don’t even have a word for whatever it is that he IS. I call him angelic and inner guide and the name he gave me because I have no idea what else to call this. It’s a Being and a Thing and an Event and a Place and a Relationship and… it’s like there is no label that is remotely big enough to encompass whatever it IS.
-- on Inner Guide #5, aka 'Mark.'

The boundary between the imaginational and imaginal is rather fuzzy and it is a developed skill and art to learn to stay there; to maintain your own autonomy while allowing the-others’ autonomy; to be shocked, astounded, grossed out, effused, and other surprise emotions from the interaction; all this without getting lost in the experience like a dream, yet also without pulling back to controlling the experience like a daydream. The former is being swept away by the river, and the latter is standing on the shore thinking about it; learning to walk the fine line of control and allowance to stay in that ‘imaginal realm’ actually takes practice. Crazy people think it’s all autonomous and happening ‘to’ them; people unable to allow this for themselves, may think it’s all imagination; and they’d both be right, because they are both lost; the goal is a whole world that bridges and encompasses both of those.

-- on "Interworlds Meditation"

Q: Where are you now?

Me: Well, back in my own reality.

Q: Wrong. You are in a reality version that distraction and denial have made for you.

Me: How do I get out?

Q: Wrong question. There is no space, there is no time. Where are you again?

Me: Oh. I’m wherever I "pay attention" to being.

Q: Right. You PAY attention. It is the currency of your soul. You rent your reality. Never forget that. The choice to move is yours.

Dealing with the unconscious has become a question of life for us.
The play of the imagination is incalculable.
~ Carl Jung

The imaginary can be innocuous, the imaginal never can.
~ Henry Corbin

A calling may be postponed, avoided, intermittently missed. It may also possess you completely. Whatever; eventually it will out. It makes its claim. The daimon does not go away.
~ James Hillman

There comes a time when the mind takes a higher plane of knowledge but can never prove how it got there.
-- Albert Einstein


This blog documents much of my work in the "inter-worlds" of a greater-self. It's not just esoteric: every thing corresponds — the mundane, the arcane, the divine. If it had to be summed up you might say it is "a universe of personalization." A strange place where monotheism and ultimate-pantheism are one and the same.

I am a natural mystic, if spontaneous experiences determine such a thing. I am not religious in any way; only guidance from the inside drives me. No identities or models unless they are introduced to me from the inside. (Sometimes I use them simply for interest, or because their models are convenient doorways -- but I accept none of their doctrines.) I briefly studied theology at one point, independently (I consider constant prayer a valid part of edu too), and where it led me was "anywhere-else." It's fine for others of course. I consider the heart of free will to be that everyone has their own road. Or as Heinlein once wrote, the right to go to hell in their own handbasket.

This tends to make me obsessed with the divine yet not religious at all, in any form, which is often confusing to onlookers. I am ever in love with and in closer pursuit of integration with The Christ (which I consider a solar-planetary deity, exceeding and preceding all possible religion, though cyclically present within our species) but I'm not remotely a modern Christian, and this also tends to be very confusing to onlookers. I'm a student of archetypes and pattern systems, yet not a jungian intellectual - armchair philosophy bores me - nor a power occultist - which has its own issues (and uniforms) to say the least.

After nearly two decades of certain experiences I felt alone with and thought were unique to me, it turns out I find some harmony in the gnostic writings. I didn't get it from there, and am not fond of that doctrine and the paradigms it came in with, so I ignore it. Which means despite talking about just a few things specific to it (by unknowing accident until a few years ago), I'm not part of that model either.

The road I walk is my own. It doesn't really have an easy label or anybody else on it, that I can see. This is between me and God, so it doesn't really need to work for anybody else. I used to wish I wasn't the only person with such experiences or practices, and started a blog in part in the hope I might find others with something similar. Maybe a need for community. I'm over that now, at least I think. I walk alone, but Light is with me. Can't ask for more than that.

-- Palyne

When we understand that perception is as much about source as target; that energy is a spectrum and best psi perception comes from the center, its balance and blend; that the manifest communication of our Selves is the literal 'reality' we experience; that everything in that reality is a profound 3D language element; that insight with the ‘center’ of spectrum is likely to be via the language-symbols of 'reality;' that these need to be interpreted at the level they are received; this is the path for intentional psi.
-- Insight on the Art of RV

The Prejudice of Preconceptions

The instant, utter CRASH of how Jared feels to me internally, versus the personality he embodies here as, was such a cognitive dissonance that my psychology slammed that door shut immediately.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at The Prejudice of Preconceptions

Notes to Self, 02 May 2012

She dropped us in a big room with beat music and people all over, clearly a party of some kind. We found this woman that Calme recognized, like she was of her energy. She was a young woman and slightly high on something. We got her out of there and got her to go home and then… I lost track of what the hell we were doing–Nero pointed out my lousy attention span I might add–but somehow, we actually “became present in her” — to her notice. So basically this woman realized all the sudden that she had like six people that were all part of her somehow. … Anyway, that she did not run screaming into the night is to her credit. […] IG said the others were distracting me, which was possibly a diplomatic way of saying I had the attention span of a 3 year old, and so they left. […] I was on the street someplace that seemed a lot like here frankly. Modern day city. Late morning, slightly overcoast, windy, cars all over. A woman (age indeterminate to me) with long straight dark hair was walking, carrying this big artist’s portfolio she was fighting with on a windy day. I understood I was there related to her, so I made myself invisible (just to be sure I was) and followed her closely.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Notes to Self, 02 May 2012

Notes to Self, 21 Mar 12


Morning: I feel, at this moment, as if me and the formerly-winged-guy are sharing the same space, in terms of atomic particles, but are still almost fully separate. The ‘almost’ part took the whole night and morning to get to and still barely anything. It’s things like this that make me feel I’m just imagining it all.

Didn’t mean to fall asleep for my lunch time.

Afternoon: Breathing with Ithikah. Breathing with L’Anna. Breathing with Ray.

Took the Joplin Tornado pics off my phone and onto my computer. I haven’t even looked at them since the day I took them (2 weeks after it occurred) and I have never removed them from the phone. It’s like some massive passive aggressive response based on how it traumatized me. I just couldn’t, wouldn’t even think about it. Now all the sudden I just had the urge to deal with it and get it done.

Feel now as if formerly-winged-guy is now ‘a larger percentage’ of me, except it doesn’t feel any different… hard to explain. I had this impression that this was happening very slowly to prevent my subconscious rejecting it outright. It’s still only a small %. Like maybe 11 or so.

Humor: when I was initially attempting to merge with him, I had this sudden ‘notice’ of a prominent, er, body part he has, because of the associated lover painting linked to yesterday I’m sure, which made me laugh. Well I was typing something – oh, about a tarot

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Notes to Self, 21 Mar 12

Tarot Prince of Wands, take 1

Thoth Tarot Prince of Wands

Shriveled and broken and more that I couldn’t make sense of. I couldn’t even see the legs and feet really, just a sense of a complete disaster there. … I was thinking how it isn’t a surprise the legs are so affected in an arch, probably the only surprise is this symbol didn’t occur earlier. But then some other part of me said that this related to El Nino, to the fact that I had to go rescue Jared’s horse who had been immobilized in a big boulder. Maybe the power beneath, motive, transport, strength… the symbols seem clear though they are a bit abstracted.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Tarot Prince of Wands, take 1

Gnostic Trivia re: Aeons

I found these quotes.

The term “Aeon” means “self-existent one” or “ever-existing entity.”

I had never heard of that use of the word, when the Consortium/Coalition I initially referred to as “Guides,” that kept introducing themselves — and IG kept forcing that — said they were Aeons. And I didn’t really grok how a ‘measure of time’ could also be the description of them, but they seemed to think that time was part of their definition as well as anything else.

I admit that I’m still sort of astounded that googling the term turned up some ‘ancient gnostic reference’ to the term used to describe some kind of spiritual entity. That seems so validating! Yet still confusing that the detail seems very… ‘off’ from mine. Not like just something else, but like there is some confusion. Maybe it’s me, my insecurity says.

Let alone the story of ‘waking up’ one of the ‘four aeons of light’ who had been hidden away from something called the Archons — the brief description was definitely parallel to my experience with the 3rd of 4; this has to be talking about the same thing. Except I never called the four “Aeons.” Just Elementals of Soul. Er, someone else’s soul, in case that isn’t clear — we are 4 elements of a larger identity. And yet although we seem separate, I am ‘contained’ in the 3rd, and he in the 2nd, and I suppose she in the Senior — we are more like Russian nested

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Gnostic Trivia re: Aeons


There comes a time when you just wake up one day and realize that you are responsible for yourself and that anything you want, only you can get.

And there comes a time when you realize that you could be so much more than you are, and that your limits are more a matter of avoiding the responsibility of becoming your fuller potential, than anything else.

The other day somewhat out of the blue I just ‘understood’ what the Queen meant in the dream where I said I didn’t know why I was with the 4, all powerful psychics when I wasn’t, and she said they understood that I was still pretending all that but they trusted that I would grow past this and accept myself and become more one with them.

And I went to the Four and I told them, ok. I’m here, now. I’m done with that denial. I’m getting old. It’s time for me to finally grow up. Take responsibility for myself.

This requires behaviors in your physical world, the Senior said as a reminder.

I understood what he meant, then and from previous conversations. One doesn’t get more and more fluid with the all-of-them unless they spend consistent time interacting with the all-of-them, or whatever aspects of it they can. You don’t usually get much better at music, sports, or academic topics unless you spend some time studying or practicing. This is just the nature of experience.

So, that means regular time spent ‘touching base’

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Responsibility

Rambling. And: IG is Angelic

I was talking with IG, sort of. Emoting ‘with’ her as I do sometimes. Wondering just a little if I should close my eyes or turn around or something else that might make it easier for her to bring me an archetype, because sometimes I get the impression my expectations limit things. She has been so wildly creative and pushing the boundaries of what I expect or can figure out how to deal with. I was idly thinking about this at the same time I was just working on ‘being with’ her, when all the sudden, I think she shared her perception with me a little.

She thought I was so sweet. I felt her ‘sweetness’ on perceiving me and my efforts. That is another topic I’ll address in a bit.

The main point was that from her perspectives, what I am doing in archetype meditations, is like… I don’t want to say childish because we have a negative baggage on that word and she has nothing negative, she is nothing but love. But it is so… so rudimentary. Actually even that word is way too big and too advanced. If there are 100 points of ‘skill and experience’ I thought myself to be around, oh, maybe 30 or 40. But through her I saw: I am not even to 1! Not even to 0.01. Not because I’m not capable, but because that’s the limits on the experience I have allowed myself.

I suddenly understood that the kind of interaction she and I could have was so huge, wild, creative, amazing, powerful, I can’t even wrap my brain around a fraction of it. I can’t even imagine it, literally.

I saw that my little step by step process, despite that any one of those elements were fine if I wanted to do that or interact that way, the process — moreso, the “expectations” — were an incredible limitation. There aren’t even words for how limiting it is.

I felt as if, she had this entire world, this range that was cosmic, and such wild opportunity, and yet there I am down at the algae/amoeba level, walking through ‘the inner guide meditation’. There’s nothing wrong with it. It’s been awesome for me. I’ve certainly branched out of it a bit. But… it’s a tiny little box. I never knew that. I thought it was a doorway but it turns out it’s more like a tiny little structure.

The expectations limit what we can do.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Rambling. And: IG is Angelic

Aeon Round, Weaving

I was going to call my friend and go to sleep when I thought, well I should do an Aeon Round first. I grabbed my beads and made myself comfortable. Ithikah, I said, how about you help me here. What could I do that would be novel and neat?

He had this idea about ‘sewing’ the energy of me into each Aeon or vice-versa but no matter how I went about that I had this sort of feeling like ‘something punctured’ so that just didn’t work. We thought of other ideas and discarded them. We came back to the first and looked at alternatives, strings, etc. when I said, hey wait! IG used to “weave me” with RV targets when I was doing archetype-RV. Basically she would ‘unwind us’ into a string that she ‘wove’ with the other from the feet up until we were ‘merged’. I would keep that until after feedback and then she would “de-weave” us.

That’s how experiences like the one with the target of Ganymede (more sentient than I am, it turns out) happened, because I was still ‘merged’ with it when I was getting feedback, so G’s opinion on our opinion on what G was like was suddenly apparent, as if it were viewing or in rapport with me, and it all took off from there.That weaving was definitely in line with the ‘threads’ concept Ithikah had so we both loved the idea, and IG was clearly game to help out. She did it

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Aeon Round, Weaving

History & Environment Review, and Nedmund

For some reason, I think to kind of review and make it clear to myself as well as to anybody else, I feel like talking about the overall structure, environment, of my “inner world.” And whatever the people are all over the plateau. And a new introduction to a guide loosely called “Nedmund” because I couldn’t really get any closer to a name than that. This will be boring to anybody else, I’m writing it for me, so don’t feel any kind of impelled to read this one lol.

The Sacred Space

When I first ‘go to meditate’, I ‘unroll an inner world’ that I imagine is kept stored in a microdot in my heart chakra. My ‘sacred space’ as I was taught to call it. Unlike most people’s warm safe shady garden-like area, mine is a high plateau of stone, warm enough from a desert-like environ, but arid and windy up that high.

It’s curious to me this is what I was most attracted to. There is nothing in my life experience along these lines, short of maybe a couple visits to the Southwest, which didn’t make much impression on me besides the Grand Canyon being rather amazing.

I have often dreamed about being on Mars, in an environment a little like this in a way, except among ‘ruins’ of some kind. In the dreams, it feels like the ultimate ‘longing for home’, and things just impossibly big in some way, but everything there is millions of years of

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at History & Environment Review, and Nedmund

Archmed: The Lake; Jared and el Niño

I imagined holding my laptop and on the computer screen ran a program that gave me a sonar and thermal joint map of the interior of the lake. Over on one side, there was this big area, like a bubble from the edge, that was like a ‘dead zone’. Nothing it it at all. On the opposite side, there was this big area, another bubble-type area from the edge, that was stuffed with something irregularly shaped and dark and a little frighteningly mysterious. I vanished the screen and thought about it. Apparently I would have to go underwater, I concluded. I was about to dive in when part of me thought, “What if there are monsters in here?” I’m so ridiculous. But I’ve learned to trust that whatever I feel I just have to go with it, validate it. Rolling my eyes at myself I enlarged, stabilized, then moved my platform over to the edge just offside of the ‘dead zone’. I created a holograph in the air that starting at the bottom of the lake, built up and showed me the picture of what was ‘in’ that part of the lake in detail.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Archmed: The Lake; Jared and el Niño

Calmè, and the Horse

I did manage to make it in to do a little med work last night. In my opinion this did not go well. But at least it happened I guess. Unfortunately, after that I passed out and slept so deeply I missed going to the grocery store which I needed to do, had to cancel my remote viewing date by phone which I was too sleepy even to talk to, etc. And it’s yet another example of feeling forced to blog about something that totally embarrasses me. Oh yeah but aside from all THAT it was just fine, oh brother!


I went to IG just to talk to her, initially.

Me: In all honesty IG, I feel like when I do archs that I let you choose, where I don’t know what they are, it just doesn’t go as well. I mean I read some old blogging yesterday and I see that sometimes it does but my “feel” is that there is something missing from those. Like it’s important for me to know.


Me: OK. Well, I was going to ask for an arch but I guess I will just let you choose. Apparently that was my pre-complaint but nothing changed. I think another thing that bothers me is that I worry you’re going to keep giving me guides, as you seem kinda driven that way, so it makes me a little paranoid about it as that bothers me. I want to be able to trust that if

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Calmè, and the Horse

Med: My Biggest Problem, Take 3

I was looking at a bronzed statue of a roman centurion. His knees were slightly bent and he had a big sword and a round shield, but I don’t think he was wearing a helmet. (I kind of wondered about the soldier symbology, given the last arch had that too.) As I stood there pondering it, I “understood” that this was not a statue. I had this overlay of the Narnia movie (and books) and how the white witch had frozen life forms as statues. So I anchored myself and imagined my heart chakra opening and asked for Aslan and The Christ to help me out and I put my hands on his thighs and imagined pouring gold loving energy into him. After a few moments, I also imagined pouring some of my own blood and living biochemicals into him, to help restore him. And finally he started changing, first inside and then finally visibly, until eventually the metal-bronze was completely gone and the man stood before me, just looking at me quietly.

I don’t know why, but I felt guilty. I don’t think I’ve ever felt guilty with an archetype before. But I found myself saying, “I’m so sorry. I know there is no excuse, so I can only apologize for whatever I did to entrap you or create that stasis. I’m glad you’re free. If you need anything, I am here for you.” He didn’t say anything, just considered me. I stood on my toes and kissed him, and he kissed me back, but when I tried to merge into him, we couldn’t do it. I kissed him again anyway and told him he was beautiful and I was sorry and that if he wasn’t ready to merge I understood or would try to, and I thanked him for spending that time with me.

I created in the palm of my hand an earring, something I felt represented his strength, his style, his independence, and I put it on him. He took off a big leather armband from his bicep, and he put it on me. I half-bowed to him, and he turned and disappeared.

I looked at IG. “I’m just completely incompetent apparently,” I groused.
“You have the wrong expectations for this,” she said.
“I just want to merge!” I said in exasperation. “I can’t touch anybody lately, apparently!”
“That’s not always the right thing to do,” she said. “You are accomplishing a great deal.”

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Med: My Biggest Problem, Take 3