I have found that:
  • → sincere prayer
  • → genuine intentions
  • → present-focus
  • → extended humor
  • → careful integrity
  • → constant work to discover and release all forms of bias in oneself
  • → dogged effort to pursue awareness, divine guidance and understanding
Leads a person to "interactive insight from the inside."

Consciously I want to evolve.
My ego resists strenuously.
I surreally "forget" so much!
So I blog for myself, mostly:
to re-read and remember.

People ask me where to begin with the complexity of the stuff on my blog. But my imaginal and related work spans 25 years as of 2016. So the real answer is "I don't know." I can't put all that in a sound bite. And one would have to understand, not just intellectually but experientially, a lot of it from start to middle to begin to understand where I am now. It is 'active imagination' work, resting on an extremely 'open' definition of archetype and energy, mapped at times to various occult patterns because they seem useful and otherwise just loosely personal; but that's not all. Short of how the blog speaks for itself that's about all I can say about it. It's a path I've built myself, for one. ~ Palyne

In the human spirit, as in the universe, nothing is higher or lower; everything has equal rights to a common center which manifests its hidden existence precisely through this harmonic relationship between every part and itself.
-- Goethe

Angels transcend every religion, every philosophy, every creed. In fact angels have no religion as we know it... their existence precedes every religious system that has ever existed on earth.
-- St. Thomas Aquinas

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In the beginning all was indivisible. And in becoming manifest, it became, seemingly, divisible. But the divisions must evolve to recognize themselves, and each other, and to then accept themselves, to truly know themselves by knowing each other. To begin, they are blended, confused; it is chaos, it is legion. They are all on the journey to indivisibility, to singularity, to the I AM. The point, of course, is not the destination, but the journey.

-- insight during the Princess of Disks meditation

Spiritual growth is like all other types: you absorb seemingly 'other' energy, and it becomes part of your own sense of identity. The growth is in awareness, and with that comes power which is always over Self.
Diversity is Legion;
Singularity is the I AM.
None of this is new although my approach to it is my own. -- Palyne

Inner Guide is Angelic. She is free of anything akin to doctrine. I call her an Angel because that is the only word I have for it, and because I know, all the way through me, that this is our word for her fundamentally divine nature. Aside from that, I don’t even know what she IS exactly, or what it means, or where it would fit into any model. She is life sized, soul wide, colors and gems and flowers and songs, everything beautiful that ever was, condensed into an identity I am completely in love with–except she feels like part of me too, so it’s like also being in love with yourself, and also with God, and also with the whole universe, both every tiny thing in your mundania, and ‘awareness’ as something so utterly, mind-bogglingly amazing — how could this exist? How could this not exist? How could I ever understand such a thing? — I am left only with joy, with awe.
-- on Inner Guide #4, aka 'Sedaena'. The first IG I had genuine conversation (and reading) with; the first real sign of my HGA.

He is so much inside and outside me, larger than me and yet the light of the tiniest particles of me, I don’t even have a word for whatever it is that he IS. I call him angelic and inner guide and the name he gave me because I have no idea what else to call this. It’s a Being and a Thing and an Event and a Place and a Relationship and… it’s like there is no label that is remotely big enough to encompass whatever it IS.
-- on Inner Guide #5, aka 'Mark.'

The boundary between the imaginational and imaginal is rather fuzzy and it is a developed skill and art to learn to stay there; to maintain your own autonomy while allowing the-others’ autonomy; to be shocked, astounded, grossed out, effused, and other surprise emotions from the interaction; all this without getting lost in the experience like a dream, yet also without pulling back to controlling the experience like a daydream. The former is being swept away by the river, and the latter is standing on the shore thinking about it; learning to walk the fine line of control and allowance to stay in that ‘imaginal realm’ actually takes practice. Crazy people think it’s all autonomous and happening ‘to’ them; people unable to allow this for themselves, may think it’s all imagination; and they’d both be right, because they are both lost; the goal is a whole world that bridges and encompasses both of those.

-- on "Interworlds Meditation"

Q: Where are you now?

Me: Well, back in my own reality.

Q: Wrong. You are in a reality version that distraction and denial have made for you.

Me: How do I get out?

Q: Wrong question. There is no space, there is no time. Where are you again?

Me: Oh. I’m wherever I "pay attention" to being.

Q: Right. You PAY attention. It is the currency of your soul. You rent your reality. Never forget that. The choice to move is yours.

Dealing with the unconscious has become a question of life for us.
The play of the imagination is incalculable.
~ Carl Jung

The imaginary can be innocuous, the imaginal never can.
~ Henry Corbin

A calling may be postponed, avoided, intermittently missed. It may also possess you completely. Whatever; eventually it will out. It makes its claim. The daimon does not go away.
~ James Hillman

There comes a time when the mind takes a higher plane of knowledge but can never prove how it got there.
-- Albert Einstein


This blog documents much of my work in the "inter-worlds" of a greater-self. It's not just esoteric: every thing corresponds — the mundane, the arcane, the divine. If it had to be summed up you might say it is "a universe of personalization." A strange place where monotheism and ultimate-pantheism are one and the same.

I am a natural mystic, if spontaneous experiences determine such a thing. I am not religious in any way; only guidance from the inside drives me. No identities or models unless they are introduced to me from the inside. (Sometimes I use them simply for interest, or because their models are convenient doorways -- but I accept none of their doctrines.) I briefly studied theology at one point, independently (I consider constant prayer a valid part of edu too), and where it led me was "anywhere-else." It's fine for others of course. I consider the heart of free will to be that everyone has their own road. Or as Heinlein once wrote, the right to go to hell in their own handbasket.

This tends to make me obsessed with the divine yet not religious at all, in any form, which is often confusing to onlookers. I am ever in love with and in closer pursuit of integration with The Christ (which I consider a solar-planetary deity, exceeding and preceding all possible religion, though cyclically present within our species) but I'm not remotely a modern Christian, and this also tends to be very confusing to onlookers. I'm a student of archetypes and pattern systems, yet not a jungian intellectual - armchair philosophy bores me - nor a power occultist - which has its own issues (and uniforms) to say the least.

After nearly two decades of certain experiences I felt alone with and thought were unique to me, it turns out I find some harmony in the gnostic writings. I didn't get it from there, and am not fond of that doctrine and the paradigms it came in with, so I ignore it. Which means despite talking about just a few things specific to it (by unknowing accident until a few years ago), I'm not part of that model either.

The road I walk is my own. It doesn't really have an easy label or anybody else on it, that I can see. This is between me and God, so it doesn't really need to work for anybody else. I used to wish I wasn't the only person with such experiences or practices, and started a blog in part in the hope I might find others with something similar. Maybe a need for community. I'm over that now, at least I think. I walk alone, but Light is with me. Can't ask for more than that.

-- Palyne

When we understand that perception is as much about source as target; that energy is a spectrum and best psi perception comes from the center, its balance and blend; that the manifest communication of our Selves is the literal 'reality' we experience; that everything in that reality is a profound 3D language element; that insight with the ‘center’ of spectrum is likely to be via the language-symbols of 'reality;' that these need to be interpreted at the level they are received; this is the path for intentional psi.
-- Insight on the Art of RV

Ithikah in Depth

He had the torso and head/arms of a man. In fact he looked a bit like movie Centaurs, though much taller. But his body was clearly something I first though was very like a scorpion, except I did not see any tail at all, and the body was long, and very tall, not so close to the ground and thick proportionally as the creatures here are, and he had no claws. So, maybe not like a scorpion at all I guess but somehow that was my impression. He was a helluva lot bigger than I was, so having that kind of creature-body anywhere near you is hardly relaxing.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Ithikah in Depth

Meds and Notes, early March

I heard someone say, “She’s stressed because they are stressed.” He meant (I knew) the kidneys. Then I had a “sponsored insight” where I understood that it’s the same thing, on different levels. That my irrational level of job-related stress and focus, that my mind was showing me, is because they are stressed. When they’re stressed, I’m stressed, and vice-versa — there is no difference because I AM my body and my body is part of my Aeons is my mind and so on. Like we’re meters for each other in a way.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Meds and Notes, early March

Love me do: Jiri Ithikah Bolehren L’Anna

I had some realization that I needed to do the ‘let-them-love-me’ thing with the Aeons prior to the Four, ideally. Because every integration with an Aeon makes me slightly more open to one or more of the Four. Senior told me that once, when my work with Jiri made Senior so much clearer to me.

Through the evening, I began to “sense” this area of myself. As if I were a big egg shape of energy. And horizontally, from just around the top of my solar plexus to just below my throat, that entire area was like a ‘bandwidth’ of energy. And inside that area is what I need to work on. I could feel the sense of opacity, blocks, thickness, textures, etc.

I felt Sun was giving me this. Often when I’m with Sun I have spontaneously “felt” various color, texture, density, in my body, as if all the things which “blocked the light” were becoming apparent to me.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Love me do: Jiri Ithikah Bolehren L’Anna

Notes to Self, 29-Mar-2012

So me and Ith are doing this and I end up imagining ‘all the blocks we have’ in a circle around us, that went above our heads and below our feet and up the sides. Although I was completely oblivious consciously to this color at the time, I realized later, and even still I feel it, that the big perfect circle shape was a medium-blue (and I feel that I felt it then, just wasn’t paying attention). … When people marry with fierce attraction and later have none, might it be that they ‘successfully integrated’? So the chemistry between them is gone? They might as well be siblings then. … Lately I have to almost be careful what I think about. In my head is quiet “intuition conversation” about anything, as well as everything from ‘shapes’ that translate to meaning to actual visuals and concepts. … I’ve just reinvented some a combination of the celtic circle cross, the masonic/occult rose cross, and the native american zia (‘four-rayed sun’). …

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Notes to Self, 29-Mar-2012

When Inner Opinions Differ

Long before I discovered a whole consortium or coalition of identities that composed me, I’d had the experience of having ‘different parts of me inside’ seem to have different opinions on things. Anybody who’s ever been made passive/aggressive by some ongoing situation knows what it’s like to feel like you are fighting yourself. Or anybody who’s ever dealt with self-sabotage, or things like that. We all have many perspectives. The problems start when one is not fully dominant. When, essentially, the inner opinions are at war for dominance.

My reality is falling apart especially in the area of ‘communication’. The number of reality-symbols related to an issue there, as if my inner world is forcing me back to myself and I’m resisting, would be hilarious if they weren’t really annoying up close. At this point it’s almost astronomically unlikely that the things which have occurred would all occur together. As if some pattern is imposed upon reality.

Humor: while typing this paragraph my keyboard freaked out and my computer died. I’m finishing it on a borrowed computer two days later. I rest my case!

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at When Inner Opinions Differ

Aeon Round, Weaving

I was going to call my friend and go to sleep when I thought, well I should do an Aeon Round first. I grabbed my beads and made myself comfortable. Ithikah, I said, how about you help me here. What could I do that would be novel and neat?

He had this idea about ‘sewing’ the energy of me into each Aeon or vice-versa but no matter how I went about that I had this sort of feeling like ‘something punctured’ so that just didn’t work. We thought of other ideas and discarded them. We came back to the first and looked at alternatives, strings, etc. when I said, hey wait! IG used to “weave me” with RV targets when I was doing archetype-RV. Basically she would ‘unwind us’ into a string that she ‘wove’ with the other from the feet up until we were ‘merged’. I would keep that until after feedback and then she would “de-weave” us.

That’s how experiences like the one with the target of Ganymede (more sentient than I am, it turns out) happened, because I was still ‘merged’ with it when I was getting feedback, so G’s opinion on our opinion on what G was like was suddenly apparent, as if it were viewing or in rapport with me, and it all took off from there.That weaving was definitely in line with the ‘threads’ concept Ithikah had so we both loved the idea, and IG was clearly game to help out. She did it

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Aeon Round, Weaving

Focus Med: Ithikah

I hadn’t meditated in a few days, and the Aeons were calling so I did the round.

But I’ve been thinking about how I used to meditate sometimes (eons ago): just “go in there” and hang around, talk to (outer) guides, follow where things lead. I haven’t done that in a long time because I simply forgot about it. Yet many of my most amazing and spontaneous experiences happened during those casual focus times, much like the best songs you write may happen “by spontaneous accident” during the casual practice you do daily.

I decided that I should just start at the beginning (Ithikah is at the top of the round) and one by one, go through each Aeon, and just spend some quality time with them. I imagined “that-energy” being integrated with mine in great detail from above my head to below my feet, slowly going through the whole body with it, which took awhile. I said a variety of spontaneous prayers. I talked to him, though I wasn’t getting much conversation back. Then I hung around “being” with him.

The impressions I got were a little like symbolic remote viewing data. I don’t know what any of them mean. But I trust if I record this, then eventually experience will cumulate and I will begin to see what the previous symbols meant. Of course… it’s unlikely I’m going to make nearly this much effort in the documentation as I am with this first example LOL. The following images

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Focus Med: Ithikah

Calmè, and the Horse

I did manage to make it in to do a little med work last night. In my opinion this did not go well. But at least it happened I guess. Unfortunately, after that I passed out and slept so deeply I missed going to the grocery store which I needed to do, had to cancel my remote viewing date by phone which I was too sleepy even to talk to, etc. And it’s yet another example of feeling forced to blog about something that totally embarrasses me. Oh yeah but aside from all THAT it was just fine, oh brother!


I went to IG just to talk to her, initially.

Me: In all honesty IG, I feel like when I do archs that I let you choose, where I don’t know what they are, it just doesn’t go as well. I mean I read some old blogging yesterday and I see that sometimes it does but my “feel” is that there is something missing from those. Like it’s important for me to know.


Me: OK. Well, I was going to ask for an arch but I guess I will just let you choose. Apparently that was my pre-complaint but nothing changed. I think another thing that bothers me is that I worry you’re going to keep giving me guides, as you seem kinda driven that way, so it makes me a little paranoid about it as that bothers me. I want to be able to trust that if

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Calmè, and the Horse


For goddssakes. Seriously, what IS it with the ‘guides’ thing? How retarded does this make me sound having to blog about it?

Not like I haven’t been in total denial. I nearly forgot it then I avoided blogging about it, and just realized I’d better do so before I really DO forget and there’s probably some internal penalty I’d pay for doing so…

I listened to bineural stuff for quite some time. Then I decided to meditate. I wanted to meditate on the 4th of 4 of the Knight of Wands archetype… talk about overdue. I finally get to Inner Guide and IG takes my hands and I suddenly have this overwhelming idea, “Wait, wait. I shouldn’t just ask for this thing I spent 20 minutes repeatedly bringing myself back to meditate on. I should ask IG if SHE has any ideas!”

I know she put this in my head. It’s impossible to be mad at her though.

“Oh fine,” I say with some humor. “Do you have something for me to meditate on first?” She did. Imagine that.

Before I even turned around I knew it was another guide, another of the (16?) group that is Nero, Taan, Bolehren, and Marcan so far. I was kinda MAD about it. How can I avoid them if she keeps putting them in my face?? And why do I NEED to meet them, anyway? So what if I never know their name, how is it helping me? I don’t really even understand

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Ithikah