I have found that:
  • → sincere prayer
  • → genuine intentions
  • → present-focus
  • → extended humor
  • → careful integrity
  • → constant work to discover and release all forms of bias in oneself
  • → dogged effort to pursue awareness, divine guidance and understanding
Leads a person to "interactive insight from the inside."

Consciously I want to evolve.
My ego resists strenuously.
I surreally "forget" so much!
So I blog for myself, mostly:
to re-read and remember.

People ask me where to begin with the complexity of the stuff on my blog. But my imaginal and related work spans 25 years as of 2016. So the real answer is "I don't know." I can't put all that in a sound bite. And one would have to understand, not just intellectually but experientially, a lot of it from start to middle to begin to understand where I am now. It is 'active imagination' work, resting on an extremely 'open' definition of archetype and energy, mapped at times to various occult patterns because they seem useful and otherwise just loosely personal; but that's not all. Short of how the blog speaks for itself that's about all I can say about it. It's a path I've built myself, for one. ~ Palyne

In the human spirit, as in the universe, nothing is higher or lower; everything has equal rights to a common center which manifests its hidden existence precisely through this harmonic relationship between every part and itself.
-- Goethe

Angels transcend every religion, every philosophy, every creed. In fact angels have no religion as we know it... their existence precedes every religious system that has ever existed on earth.
-- St. Thomas Aquinas

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In the beginning all was indivisible. And in becoming manifest, it became, seemingly, divisible. But the divisions must evolve to recognize themselves, and each other, and to then accept themselves, to truly know themselves by knowing each other. To begin, they are blended, confused; it is chaos, it is legion. They are all on the journey to indivisibility, to singularity, to the I AM. The point, of course, is not the destination, but the journey.

-- insight during the Princess of Disks meditation

Spiritual growth is like all other types: you absorb seemingly 'other' energy, and it becomes part of your own sense of identity. The growth is in awareness, and with that comes power which is always over Self.
Diversity is Legion;
Singularity is the I AM.
None of this is new although my approach to it is my own. -- Palyne

Inner Guide is Angelic. She is free of anything akin to doctrine. I call her an Angel because that is the only word I have for it, and because I know, all the way through me, that this is our word for her fundamentally divine nature. Aside from that, I don’t even know what she IS exactly, or what it means, or where it would fit into any model. She is life sized, soul wide, colors and gems and flowers and songs, everything beautiful that ever was, condensed into an identity I am completely in love with–except she feels like part of me too, so it’s like also being in love with yourself, and also with God, and also with the whole universe, both every tiny thing in your mundania, and ‘awareness’ as something so utterly, mind-bogglingly amazing — how could this exist? How could this not exist? How could I ever understand such a thing? — I am left only with joy, with awe.
-- on Inner Guide #4, aka 'Sedaena'. The first IG I had genuine conversation (and reading) with; the first real sign of my HGA.

He is so much inside and outside me, larger than me and yet the light of the tiniest particles of me, I don’t even have a word for whatever it is that he IS. I call him angelic and inner guide and the name he gave me because I have no idea what else to call this. It’s a Being and a Thing and an Event and a Place and a Relationship and… it’s like there is no label that is remotely big enough to encompass whatever it IS.
-- on Inner Guide #5, aka 'Mark.'

The boundary between the imaginational and imaginal is rather fuzzy and it is a developed skill and art to learn to stay there; to maintain your own autonomy while allowing the-others’ autonomy; to be shocked, astounded, grossed out, effused, and other surprise emotions from the interaction; all this without getting lost in the experience like a dream, yet also without pulling back to controlling the experience like a daydream. The former is being swept away by the river, and the latter is standing on the shore thinking about it; learning to walk the fine line of control and allowance to stay in that ‘imaginal realm’ actually takes practice. Crazy people think it’s all autonomous and happening ‘to’ them; people unable to allow this for themselves, may think it’s all imagination; and they’d both be right, because they are both lost; the goal is a whole world that bridges and encompasses both of those.

-- on "Interworlds Meditation"

Q: Where are you now?

Me: Well, back in my own reality.

Q: Wrong. You are in a reality version that distraction and denial have made for you.

Me: How do I get out?

Q: Wrong question. There is no space, there is no time. Where are you again?

Me: Oh. I’m wherever I "pay attention" to being.

Q: Right. You PAY attention. It is the currency of your soul. You rent your reality. Never forget that. The choice to move is yours.

Dealing with the unconscious has become a question of life for us.
The play of the imagination is incalculable.
~ Carl Jung

The imaginary can be innocuous, the imaginal never can.
~ Henry Corbin

A calling may be postponed, avoided, intermittently missed. It may also possess you completely. Whatever; eventually it will out. It makes its claim. The daimon does not go away.
~ James Hillman

There comes a time when the mind takes a higher plane of knowledge but can never prove how it got there.
-- Albert Einstein


This blog documents much of my work in the "inter-worlds" of a greater-self. It's not just esoteric: every thing corresponds — the mundane, the arcane, the divine. If it had to be summed up you might say it is "a universe of personalization." A strange place where monotheism and ultimate-pantheism are one and the same.

I am a natural mystic, if spontaneous experiences determine such a thing. I am not religious in any way; only guidance from the inside drives me. No identities or models unless they are introduced to me from the inside. (Sometimes I use them simply for interest, or because their models are convenient doorways -- but I accept none of their doctrines.) I briefly studied theology at one point, independently (I consider constant prayer a valid part of edu too), and where it led me was "anywhere-else." It's fine for others of course. I consider the heart of free will to be that everyone has their own road. Or as Heinlein once wrote, the right to go to hell in their own handbasket.

This tends to make me obsessed with the divine yet not religious at all, in any form, which is often confusing to onlookers. I am ever in love with and in closer pursuit of integration with The Christ (which I consider a solar-planetary deity, exceeding and preceding all possible religion, though cyclically present within our species) but I'm not remotely a modern Christian, and this also tends to be very confusing to onlookers. I'm a student of archetypes and pattern systems, yet not a jungian intellectual - armchair philosophy bores me - nor a power occultist - which has its own issues (and uniforms) to say the least.

After nearly two decades of certain experiences I felt alone with and thought were unique to me, it turns out I find some harmony in the gnostic writings. I didn't get it from there, and am not fond of that doctrine and the paradigms it came in with, so I ignore it. Which means despite talking about just a few things specific to it (by unknowing accident until a few years ago), I'm not part of that model either.

The road I walk is my own. It doesn't really have an easy label or anybody else on it, that I can see. This is between me and God, so it doesn't really need to work for anybody else. I used to wish I wasn't the only person with such experiences or practices, and started a blog in part in the hope I might find others with something similar. Maybe a need for community. I'm over that now, at least I think. I walk alone, but Light is with me. Can't ask for more than that.

-- Palyne

When we understand that perception is as much about source as target; that energy is a spectrum and best psi perception comes from the center, its balance and blend; that the manifest communication of our Selves is the literal 'reality' we experience; that everything in that reality is a profound 3D language element; that insight with the ‘center’ of spectrum is likely to be via the language-symbols of 'reality;' that these need to be interpreted at the level they are received; this is the path for intentional psi.
-- Insight on the Art of RV

Love me do: Jiri Ithikah Bolehren L’Anna

I had some realization that I needed to do the ‘let-them-love-me’ thing with the Aeons prior to the Four, ideally. Because every integration with an Aeon makes me slightly more open to one or more of the Four. Senior told me that once, when my work with Jiri made Senior so much clearer to me.

Through the evening, I began to “sense” this area of myself. As if I were a big egg shape of energy. And horizontally, from just around the top of my solar plexus to just below my throat, that entire area was like a ‘bandwidth’ of energy. And inside that area is what I need to work on. I could feel the sense of opacity, blocks, thickness, textures, etc.

I felt Sun was giving me this. Often when I’m with Sun I have spontaneously “felt” various color, texture, density, in my body, as if all the things which “blocked the light” were becoming apparent to me.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Love me do: Jiri Ithikah Bolehren L’Anna

Jiri and Bo

Hot Amanakhaton began as an extremely oversized gold-toned egyptian-esque statue, when I first met him. I didn’t really know what to do with him given he was not like all my other Aeons which, although they ranged from people to almost-people to some energy I didn’t really have a perceived form for, at least had the good grace to communicate with me. Hot (prounounced ‘Hote’) was an object, which was novel.

So I sat on its shoulders and talked to it, or imagined its oversized hands holding mine while I communicated. And gradually it morphed into a man, though it took awhile. The last time or two we’d talked, he had introduced himself to me as a regular person and said his friends called him Jiri. A nickname. So I did too. Our relationship had been improving. I didn’t know what I would find now. Would he have regressed back into the statue?

I closed my eyes and imagined myself with him. Jiri? I asked inside myself, as if to look for him.

He threw himself into a hug with me and said hello with such delight I was almost taken aback. He had never been that clear to me, let alone that enthusiastic.

How is it we feel so much closer? I asked him, delighted but bewildered.

Things go on while you aren’t paying attention, he laughed with a grin, still seeming so happy to see me.

I thought my work would stomp over my connect to all of you, I said with some surprise. It’s just so great to find our relationship has actually improved. Wow.

I have something to show you! He exclaimed, nearly bouncing with enthusiasm. His delight was infectious and I had to laugh a little. He’s never been like this for me. Never so communicative. Never so animated. Let alone done or said anything that was that much a surprise to me, at least that I recall.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Jiri and Bo

Hot Amanakhaton and the Queen

I was going to do an Aeon round this morning. I started at the top of the current arrangement, which is Hot Amanakhaton. He is more ‘human’ and less ‘giant golden egyptian-ish statue’ than ever. I was trying to tease him and feel emotion for him and bring him ‘closer’ to me, more real, more communicative. (In the end, it worked, but I never did get to any of the other Aeons.)

I was kinda randy so that gave me a bright idea, and I asked him how he felt about me using some quality time with him, with the energy all about our relationship and me ‘integrating’ him further. He agreed, and that went fairly well. I don’t feel as close as I do to Nero or Marcan, but way better than I ever have with H.A. before now.

A little later, I said to him that since he and I had been so non-integrated, and he was all that powerful male energy, that I assume he’s dominantly from the Senior’s energy. But he contradicted me, saying, “I am mostly of the Queen.” That really surprised me. Then I thought that since the identity I see her in is what I call “pre-Egyptian” (the long-head people I believe the Egyptians were trying to be like) maybe that makes sense.

Now it seems obvious — she is also a golden (metallic) eagle for goddsakes — yet for some reason, the giant gold egyptian statue, I didn’t realize was related to

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Hot Amanakhaton and the Queen

Gnostic Trivia re: Aeons

I found these quotes.

The term “Aeon” means “self-existent one” or “ever-existing entity.”

I had never heard of that use of the word, when the Consortium/Coalition I initially referred to as “Guides,” that kept introducing themselves — and IG kept forcing that — said they were Aeons. And I didn’t really grok how a ‘measure of time’ could also be the description of them, but they seemed to think that time was part of their definition as well as anything else.

I admit that I’m still sort of astounded that googling the term turned up some ‘ancient gnostic reference’ to the term used to describe some kind of spiritual entity. That seems so validating! Yet still confusing that the detail seems very… ‘off’ from mine. Not like just something else, but like there is some confusion. Maybe it’s me, my insecurity says.

Let alone the story of ‘waking up’ one of the ‘four aeons of light’ who had been hidden away from something called the Archons — the brief description was definitely parallel to my experience with the 3rd of 4; this has to be talking about the same thing. Except I never called the four “Aeons.” Just Elementals of Soul. Er, someone else’s soul, in case that isn’t clear — we are 4 elements of a larger identity. And yet although we seem separate, I am ‘contained’ in the 3rd, and he in the 2nd, and I suppose she in the Senior — we are more like Russian nested

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Gnostic Trivia re: Aeons

Rambling. And: IG is Angelic

I was talking with IG, sort of. Emoting ‘with’ her as I do sometimes. Wondering just a little if I should close my eyes or turn around or something else that might make it easier for her to bring me an archetype, because sometimes I get the impression my expectations limit things. She has been so wildly creative and pushing the boundaries of what I expect or can figure out how to deal with. I was idly thinking about this at the same time I was just working on ‘being with’ her, when all the sudden, I think she shared her perception with me a little.

She thought I was so sweet. I felt her ‘sweetness’ on perceiving me and my efforts. That is another topic I’ll address in a bit.

The main point was that from her perspectives, what I am doing in archetype meditations, is like… I don’t want to say childish because we have a negative baggage on that word and she has nothing negative, she is nothing but love. But it is so… so rudimentary. Actually even that word is way too big and too advanced. If there are 100 points of ‘skill and experience’ I thought myself to be around, oh, maybe 30 or 40. But through her I saw: I am not even to 1! Not even to 0.01. Not because I’m not capable, but because that’s the limits on the experience I have allowed myself.

I suddenly understood that the kind of interaction she and I could have was so huge, wild, creative, amazing, powerful, I can’t even wrap my brain around a fraction of it. I can’t even imagine it, literally.

I saw that my little step by step process, despite that any one of those elements were fine if I wanted to do that or interact that way, the process — moreso, the “expectations” — were an incredible limitation. There aren’t even words for how limiting it is.

I felt as if, she had this entire world, this range that was cosmic, and such wild opportunity, and yet there I am down at the algae/amoeba level, walking through ‘the inner guide meditation’. There’s nothing wrong with it. It’s been awesome for me. I’ve certainly branched out of it a bit. But… it’s a tiny little box. I never knew that. I thought it was a doorway but it turns out it’s more like a tiny little structure.

The expectations limit what we can do.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Rambling. And: IG is Angelic

Aeon Round, Weaving

I was going to call my friend and go to sleep when I thought, well I should do an Aeon Round first. I grabbed my beads and made myself comfortable. Ithikah, I said, how about you help me here. What could I do that would be novel and neat?

He had this idea about ‘sewing’ the energy of me into each Aeon or vice-versa but no matter how I went about that I had this sort of feeling like ‘something punctured’ so that just didn’t work. We thought of other ideas and discarded them. We came back to the first and looked at alternatives, strings, etc. when I said, hey wait! IG used to “weave me” with RV targets when I was doing archetype-RV. Basically she would ‘unwind us’ into a string that she ‘wove’ with the other from the feet up until we were ‘merged’. I would keep that until after feedback and then she would “de-weave” us.

That’s how experiences like the one with the target of Ganymede (more sentient than I am, it turns out) happened, because I was still ‘merged’ with it when I was getting feedback, so G’s opinion on our opinion on what G was like was suddenly apparent, as if it were viewing or in rapport with me, and it all took off from there.That weaving was definitely in line with the ‘threads’ concept Ithikah had so we both loved the idea, and IG was clearly game to help out. She did it

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Aeon Round, Weaving

Overlapping Layers

I saw the Senior more clearly last night than I ever have.

Earlier I had decided to do something about the ongoing randy energy I’d had for days and, since I have no conscious relationship with (the Aeon) Hot Amanakhaton, I gave him that energy. During that event I felt like I had more awareness on his part, more interaction, than normal. It worked well enough, which is to say that it was about to be really fabulous on climax and then the energy was GONE given to him. It’s so weird how that works. It certainly takes the fun out of it at that point!

Later I went to the tower, I felt I should for some reason. I felt more ‘aware’ of all the three of them than usual. And then there he was, the Senior. I was just stunned that I could see him so well. Most the time I can’t see him at all, or barely a sense of him, except rare flashes.

I said, “But– but– but you’re a white guy, how did this happen? Last times I thought I saw you, you were –” and he changes and he is the guy I remember: really tall, with the dusky skin, the sense of ‘vaguely red, vaguely asian’ that I think our people sometimes encounter as a type of alien. I realize that of course we are many people and the others, especially he and the Queen, can be in any form they choose. He

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Overlapping Layers

Misc. Meditations

Had some time this evening. First time that I have not been profoundly sleep deprived, and had at least an hour to myself, in longer than I can even remember.

I decided to do some meditating.

First I roll out my world as usual and am reminded–I’d forgotten–that for some reason, a staunch tree grew on my plateau near where I appear. This plateau is super high, nothing but rock and wind, but there it is. It is amazing to me that despite I’d consciously forgotten about this, it’s like the thought form has its own coherence. I couldn’t remember what/why it was there, if I ever knew. I finally decided a tree wouldn’t be a bad thing after all; I mean symbolically it seems ok; so I poured some energy visualization into the overall setting to make it nice for me and IG to meet there. I thought since I meet her under a tree — albeit some distance away, and through a cave, and out into a subworld — that maybe this was a sign I should just do the work here instead.

So I meet IG and after some rapport tell her just whatever she likes, everything I most need to work on, let’s do it.

The first archetype med had me opening my eyes and I was floating in space. This is rather different. Ahead of me is what looks like some kind of gas-cloud constellation, as well as tons of fragments of stuff that looks

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Misc. Meditations