I have found that:
  • → sincere prayer
  • → genuine intentions
  • → present-focus
  • → extended humor
  • → careful integrity
  • → constant work to discover and release all forms of bias in oneself
  • → dogged effort to pursue awareness, divine guidance and understanding
Leads a person to "interactive insight from the inside."

Consciously I want to evolve.
My ego resists strenuously.
I surreally "forget" so much!
So I blog for myself, mostly:
to re-read and remember.

People ask me where to begin with the complexity of the stuff on my blog. But my imaginal and related work spans 25 years as of 2016. So the real answer is "I don't know." I can't put all that in a sound bite. And one would have to understand, not just intellectually but experientially, a lot of it from start to middle to begin to understand where I am now. It is 'active imagination' work, resting on an extremely 'open' definition of archetype and energy, mapped at times to various occult patterns because they seem useful and otherwise just loosely personal; but that's not all. Short of how the blog speaks for itself that's about all I can say about it. It's a path I've built myself, for one. ~ Palyne

In the human spirit, as in the universe, nothing is higher or lower; everything has equal rights to a common center which manifests its hidden existence precisely through this harmonic relationship between every part and itself.
-- Goethe

Angels transcend every religion, every philosophy, every creed. In fact angels have no religion as we know it... their existence precedes every religious system that has ever existed on earth.
-- St. Thomas Aquinas

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In the beginning all was indivisible. And in becoming manifest, it became, seemingly, divisible. But the divisions must evolve to recognize themselves, and each other, and to then accept themselves, to truly know themselves by knowing each other. To begin, they are blended, confused; it is chaos, it is legion. They are all on the journey to indivisibility, to singularity, to the I AM. The point, of course, is not the destination, but the journey.

-- insight during the Princess of Disks meditation

Spiritual growth is like all other types: you absorb seemingly 'other' energy, and it becomes part of your own sense of identity. The growth is in awareness, and with that comes power which is always over Self.
Diversity is Legion;
Singularity is the I AM.
None of this is new although my approach to it is my own. -- Palyne

Inner Guide is Angelic. She is free of anything akin to doctrine. I call her an Angel because that is the only word I have for it, and because I know, all the way through me, that this is our word for her fundamentally divine nature. Aside from that, I don’t even know what she IS exactly, or what it means, or where it would fit into any model. She is life sized, soul wide, colors and gems and flowers and songs, everything beautiful that ever was, condensed into an identity I am completely in love with–except she feels like part of me too, so it’s like also being in love with yourself, and also with God, and also with the whole universe, both every tiny thing in your mundania, and ‘awareness’ as something so utterly, mind-bogglingly amazing — how could this exist? How could this not exist? How could I ever understand such a thing? — I am left only with joy, with awe.
-- on Inner Guide #4, aka 'Sedaena'. The first IG I had genuine conversation (and reading) with; the first real sign of my HGA.

He is so much inside and outside me, larger than me and yet the light of the tiniest particles of me, I don’t even have a word for whatever it is that he IS. I call him angelic and inner guide and the name he gave me because I have no idea what else to call this. It’s a Being and a Thing and an Event and a Place and a Relationship and… it’s like there is no label that is remotely big enough to encompass whatever it IS.
-- on Inner Guide #5, aka 'Mark.'

The boundary between the imaginational and imaginal is rather fuzzy and it is a developed skill and art to learn to stay there; to maintain your own autonomy while allowing the-others’ autonomy; to be shocked, astounded, grossed out, effused, and other surprise emotions from the interaction; all this without getting lost in the experience like a dream, yet also without pulling back to controlling the experience like a daydream. The former is being swept away by the river, and the latter is standing on the shore thinking about it; learning to walk the fine line of control and allowance to stay in that ‘imaginal realm’ actually takes practice. Crazy people think it’s all autonomous and happening ‘to’ them; people unable to allow this for themselves, may think it’s all imagination; and they’d both be right, because they are both lost; the goal is a whole world that bridges and encompasses both of those.

-- on "Interworlds Meditation"

Q: Where are you now?

Me: Well, back in my own reality.

Q: Wrong. You are in a reality version that distraction and denial have made for you.

Me: How do I get out?

Q: Wrong question. There is no space, there is no time. Where are you again?

Me: Oh. I’m wherever I "pay attention" to being.

Q: Right. You PAY attention. It is the currency of your soul. You rent your reality. Never forget that. The choice to move is yours.

Dealing with the unconscious has become a question of life for us.
The play of the imagination is incalculable.
~ Carl Jung

The imaginary can be innocuous, the imaginal never can.
~ Henry Corbin

A calling may be postponed, avoided, intermittently missed. It may also possess you completely. Whatever; eventually it will out. It makes its claim. The daimon does not go away.
~ James Hillman

There comes a time when the mind takes a higher plane of knowledge but can never prove how it got there.
-- Albert Einstein


This blog documents much of my work in the "inter-worlds" of a greater-self. It's not just esoteric: every thing corresponds — the mundane, the arcane, the divine. If it had to be summed up you might say it is "a universe of personalization." A strange place where monotheism and ultimate-pantheism are one and the same.

I am a natural mystic, if spontaneous experiences determine such a thing. I am not religious in any way; only guidance from the inside drives me. No identities or models unless they are introduced to me from the inside. (Sometimes I use them simply for interest, or because their models are convenient doorways -- but I accept none of their doctrines.) I briefly studied theology at one point, independently (I consider constant prayer a valid part of edu too), and where it led me was "anywhere-else." It's fine for others of course. I consider the heart of free will to be that everyone has their own road. Or as Heinlein once wrote, the right to go to hell in their own handbasket.

This tends to make me obsessed with the divine yet not religious at all, in any form, which is often confusing to onlookers. I am ever in love with and in closer pursuit of integration with The Christ (which I consider a solar-planetary deity, exceeding and preceding all possible religion, though cyclically present within our species) but I'm not remotely a modern Christian, and this also tends to be very confusing to onlookers. I'm a student of archetypes and pattern systems, yet not a jungian intellectual - armchair philosophy bores me - nor a power occultist - which has its own issues (and uniforms) to say the least.

After nearly two decades of certain experiences I felt alone with and thought were unique to me, it turns out I find some harmony in the gnostic writings. I didn't get it from there, and am not fond of that doctrine and the paradigms it came in with, so I ignore it. Which means despite talking about just a few things specific to it (by unknowing accident until a few years ago), I'm not part of that model either.

The road I walk is my own. It doesn't really have an easy label or anybody else on it, that I can see. This is between me and God, so it doesn't really need to work for anybody else. I used to wish I wasn't the only person with such experiences or practices, and started a blog in part in the hope I might find others with something similar. Maybe a need for community. I'm over that now, at least I think. I walk alone, but Light is with me. Can't ask for more than that.

-- Palyne

When we understand that perception is as much about source as target; that energy is a spectrum and best psi perception comes from the center, its balance and blend; that the manifest communication of our Selves is the literal 'reality' we experience; that everything in that reality is a profound 3D language element; that insight with the ‘center’ of spectrum is likely to be via the language-symbols of 'reality;' that these need to be interpreted at the level they are received; this is the path for intentional psi.
-- Insight on the Art of RV

Just What I Asked for but Not What I Wanted

As for the kundalini and my health, that’s an example of getting exactly what you asked for but perhaps not what you wanted.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Just What I Asked for but Not What I Wanted

Konewa Turi nearly kills me

Until then I was having a lovely day.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Konewa Turi nearly kills me

Love me do: Jiri Ithikah Bolehren L’Anna

I had some realization that I needed to do the ‘let-them-love-me’ thing with the Aeons prior to the Four, ideally. Because every integration with an Aeon makes me slightly more open to one or more of the Four. Senior told me that once, when my work with Jiri made Senior so much clearer to me.

Through the evening, I began to “sense” this area of myself. As if I were a big egg shape of energy. And horizontally, from just around the top of my solar plexus to just below my throat, that entire area was like a ‘bandwidth’ of energy. And inside that area is what I need to work on. I could feel the sense of opacity, blocks, thickness, textures, etc.

I felt Sun was giving me this. Often when I’m with Sun I have spontaneously “felt” various color, texture, density, in my body, as if all the things which “blocked the light” were becoming apparent to me.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Love me do: Jiri Ithikah Bolehren L’Anna

Notes to Self, 19 June 2012

Having the desire to deal with the three most repressed issues in my life — the alter(s), fiction writing, and music — is so completely amazing I’m awed about it. That this would all hit just as I am starting this ‘liver’ plan and a week off work doesn’t seem like coincidence…. I realized that I was in some spontaneous visual like when they just ‘happen’ without planning.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Notes to Self, 19 June 2012

Jiri and Bo

Hot Amanakhaton began as an extremely oversized gold-toned egyptian-esque statue, when I first met him. I didn’t really know what to do with him given he was not like all my other Aeons which, although they ranged from people to almost-people to some energy I didn’t really have a perceived form for, at least had the good grace to communicate with me. Hot (prounounced ‘Hote’) was an object, which was novel.

So I sat on its shoulders and talked to it, or imagined its oversized hands holding mine while I communicated. And gradually it morphed into a man, though it took awhile. The last time or two we’d talked, he had introduced himself to me as a regular person and said his friends called him Jiri. A nickname. So I did too. Our relationship had been improving. I didn’t know what I would find now. Would he have regressed back into the statue?

I closed my eyes and imagined myself with him. Jiri? I asked inside myself, as if to look for him.

He threw himself into a hug with me and said hello with such delight I was almost taken aback. He had never been that clear to me, let alone that enthusiastic.

How is it we feel so much closer? I asked him, delighted but bewildered.

Things go on while you aren’t paying attention, he laughed with a grin, still seeming so happy to see me.

I thought my work would stomp over my connect to all of you, I said with some surprise. It’s just so great to find our relationship has actually improved. Wow.

I have something to show you! He exclaimed, nearly bouncing with enthusiasm. His delight was infectious and I had to laugh a little. He’s never been like this for me. Never so communicative. Never so animated. Let alone done or said anything that was that much a surprise to me, at least that I recall.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Jiri and Bo

Hangin’ with Bolehren

I was going to do the 9 of Disks and asked her what we should do about that. Should I un-merge? What if she didn’t have the degree of… absorption I did or something, would that limit the result? What if it was something she wasn’t ready for? What if…? She felt that I should consider this much like I consider the healing question. IF someone is ‘with me’ at the time I am to do a certain energy work, then just assume that is how it is to be, for both sides, and c’est la vie.

So we were doing the meditation together. Before IG had given us anything, I started giggling. I swear it felt like we were kids in a sleepover trying to be still and quiet because it’s bedtime, and stifling giggles so mom doesn’t get annoyed.

As we worked through the stuff from IG, I kept having all these bizarre spontaneous memories. Stuff I have not thought of probably since the time they happened, really really old stuff. Like what someone said to me one day when I was 18, or a situation from many years ago. Now, although I do get anything from energy via memory to occasional wandering, this was different.

After about the 8th thing, I realized that in a weird way they all had a certain thing in common. A genre, you might say. They all related to my relationship with another person(s). Most were things I didn’t feel had gone well in some fashion. I realized that as this is what Bolehren’s energy relates to, at least in part as I was previously told, that this was like her being ‘sparked’ by the work we were doing, as opposed to me. Well, yes it is me, but you might say, the sector of me that overlaps with and/or is composed of her.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Hangin’ with Bolehren

Aeon Round, Weaving

I was going to call my friend and go to sleep when I thought, well I should do an Aeon Round first. I grabbed my beads and made myself comfortable. Ithikah, I said, how about you help me here. What could I do that would be novel and neat?

He had this idea about ‘sewing’ the energy of me into each Aeon or vice-versa but no matter how I went about that I had this sort of feeling like ‘something punctured’ so that just didn’t work. We thought of other ideas and discarded them. We came back to the first and looked at alternatives, strings, etc. when I said, hey wait! IG used to “weave me” with RV targets when I was doing archetype-RV. Basically she would ‘unwind us’ into a string that she ‘wove’ with the other from the feet up until we were ‘merged’. I would keep that until after feedback and then she would “de-weave” us.

That’s how experiences like the one with the target of Ganymede (more sentient than I am, it turns out) happened, because I was still ‘merged’ with it when I was getting feedback, so G’s opinion on our opinion on what G was like was suddenly apparent, as if it were viewing or in rapport with me, and it all took off from there.That weaving was definitely in line with the ‘threads’ concept Ithikah had so we both loved the idea, and IG was clearly game to help out. She did it

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Aeon Round, Weaving

Power Grids

I forgot to mention this.

On 12/20 evening I posted this focus med with Bolehren which was a meditation that included an issue with a “power grid” and burnout and so on.

I didn’t even realize this sync until just now. But on 12/22 the entire wall behind me in my bedroom (which is also the wall of the kitchen) burned out. Its power is gone — nothing works on that wall at all now. Dang it!

You would think the meditation would have improved whatever issue existed but I guess not. Anyway I think it’s important to pay attention to the reality-symbols that reflect the ‘inner shape of me’. I don’t really know what this means.

In my secret life, though, not unnatural guilt this time but legitimate wish-it-weren’t-true-ness, I have to note that for some time I have really trashed my body’s main power source, by having incredibly little protein or supplements, and lousy food to make things much worse, and which gives me asthma so when I sleep I don’t get enough oxygen. Combining under-proteining with under-oxygenation is really deadly to me and makes me so exhausted. The kitchen where the toaster plugs in (gluten in bread is the main offender), and my bed headboard, are probably the two most likely ‘reality symbol’ associations with a “problem with the power grid” of my body caused by this. And it just so happens that the plugs right behind those two areas both fried and died. Probably

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Power Grids

Focus med: Bolehren

I did a focus med on Ithikah last Tuesday. Bolehren was supposed to be the next evening, Wednesday, but I put her off. It wasn’t until last night that I saw an interesting sort of timing-sync. Now that I see this, I am wondering…

When I do archetype meditations, if I begin a meditation, basically “open up” that energy, and I do not finish it, that energy runs rampant in my life and in my head. On problem issues this really IS a problem. It’s often the thing that forces me to get my act together and get back in and finish the work, because of all the chaos in my life from that energy bouncing all over, and I can track it to ‘that energy’ by the detail.

Well I had intended to work with Bo until pretty much the last minute I had a “denial” attack and wandered off to do anything that wasn’t meditating. So I’m wondering if, by my intent, I essentially had already kind of opened up the process even if I hadn’t got to uttering the words yet.

The day after I was supposed to work with Bo, I had such a bad day as far as people are concerned. By the end of the day I was convinced “everybody dislikes me!” I just felt so crummy about it. I haven’t felt like that in so many eons I can’t remember. (Not because everybody likes me, mind you, but because I only require a

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Focus med: Bolehren

Bolehren, and Denial

Last night it was time to meditate, but I found other things to do.

Later, I realized I was getting too sleepy and had to meditate while I still could, IF I still could, but I found other things to do.

Later, I realized I was exhausted and needed to sleep, but I was adamant with myself that I would not sleep until I had meditated… and I found other things to do.

Later, it was 3:45 AM, and I was thinking my God, you must sleep already!, when I noticed a book on my shelf and was suddenly fascinated with “Crochet in plain English.”

It was then I understood that obviously I was in some kind of avoidance-denial. Nobody, especially someone who only crochets once every year or two and really badly, is fascinated with a book on crochet at 3:45 AM. Get real.

So I forced myself to go to bed. I was ridiculously over-tired by then, of course! I had intended to meet with Bolehren. Funny enough, I could not remember her name. I finally had to copy the text of her name onto a desktop ‘sticky’ because my memory of it would only last about 10 minutes before I couldn’t remember it again and had to look it up. This is also an obvious sign of denial.

Since she is like Nero, who is with me always, there is no required meditation space or archetype world or whatever. I rolled out my meditation space though, and

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Bolehren, and Denial

Fluency with Archetype Meditations

I figured of all the stuff on the list, surely “fluency with archetype meditations” was the most important. Wasn’t it some famous person who said if he had six hours to chop down a tree, he’d spend the first 5 sharpening his axe? I figured this meditation ought to be my version of sharpening the axe. In fact it occurred to me to wonder why I had never actually thought about doing an archmed ON archmeds before.

I paid a lot of attention to deliberately focusing on everything from the moment I appeared in my space on the plateau. I don’t know why I’d kind of forgotten this, but a lot of what you eventually get out of an archmed depends on how much you’ve put in. By that I mean, if you pay no attention to anything until you get there, then when it doesn’t seem very vivid, well that’s partly because I’d been taking no effort to ground myself ‘in’ that world up to then. It’s in part for the effect it has on the state of mind, of course. The more clear your process just of getting to IG is, the better the meditations are likely to be in some respects. So I made a point to really focus this time, feeling that IG was the one reminding me of all this.

So for the arch, which I turn around to see behind me, I had this response I’ve had a few times before: when I turned

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Fluency with Archetype Meditations