I have found that:
  • → sincere prayer
  • → genuine intentions
  • → present-focus
  • → extended humor
  • → careful integrity
  • → constant work to discover and release all forms of bias in oneself
  • → dogged effort to pursue awareness, divine guidance and understanding
Leads a person to "interactive insight from the inside."

Consciously I want to evolve.
My ego resists strenuously.
I surreally "forget" so much!
So I blog for myself, mostly:
to re-read and remember.

People ask me where to begin with the complexity of the stuff on my blog. But my imaginal and related work spans 25 years as of 2016. So the real answer is "I don't know." I can't put all that in a sound bite. And one would have to understand, not just intellectually but experientially, a lot of it from start to middle to begin to understand where I am now. It is 'active imagination' work, resting on an extremely 'open' definition of archetype and energy, mapped at times to various occult patterns because they seem useful and otherwise just loosely personal; but that's not all. Short of how the blog speaks for itself that's about all I can say about it. It's a path I've built myself, for one. ~ Palyne

In the human spirit, as in the universe, nothing is higher or lower; everything has equal rights to a common center which manifests its hidden existence precisely through this harmonic relationship between every part and itself.
-- Goethe

Angels transcend every religion, every philosophy, every creed. In fact angels have no religion as we know it... their existence precedes every religious system that has ever existed on earth.
-- St. Thomas Aquinas

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In the beginning all was indivisible. And in becoming manifest, it became, seemingly, divisible. But the divisions must evolve to recognize themselves, and each other, and to then accept themselves, to truly know themselves by knowing each other. To begin, they are blended, confused; it is chaos, it is legion. They are all on the journey to indivisibility, to singularity, to the I AM. The point, of course, is not the destination, but the journey.

-- insight during the Princess of Disks meditation

Spiritual growth is like all other types: you absorb seemingly 'other' energy, and it becomes part of your own sense of identity. The growth is in awareness, and with that comes power which is always over Self.
Diversity is Legion;
Singularity is the I AM.
None of this is new although my approach to it is my own. -- Palyne

Inner Guide is Angelic. She is free of anything akin to doctrine. I call her an Angel because that is the only word I have for it, and because I know, all the way through me, that this is our word for her fundamentally divine nature. Aside from that, I don’t even know what she IS exactly, or what it means, or where it would fit into any model. She is life sized, soul wide, colors and gems and flowers and songs, everything beautiful that ever was, condensed into an identity I am completely in love with–except she feels like part of me too, so it’s like also being in love with yourself, and also with God, and also with the whole universe, both every tiny thing in your mundania, and ‘awareness’ as something so utterly, mind-bogglingly amazing — how could this exist? How could this not exist? How could I ever understand such a thing? — I am left only with joy, with awe.
-- on Inner Guide #4, aka 'Sedaena'. The first IG I had genuine conversation (and reading) with; the first real sign of my HGA.

He is so much inside and outside me, larger than me and yet the light of the tiniest particles of me, I don’t even have a word for whatever it is that he IS. I call him angelic and inner guide and the name he gave me because I have no idea what else to call this. It’s a Being and a Thing and an Event and a Place and a Relationship and… it’s like there is no label that is remotely big enough to encompass whatever it IS.
-- on Inner Guide #5, aka 'Mark.'

The boundary between the imaginational and imaginal is rather fuzzy and it is a developed skill and art to learn to stay there; to maintain your own autonomy while allowing the-others’ autonomy; to be shocked, astounded, grossed out, effused, and other surprise emotions from the interaction; all this without getting lost in the experience like a dream, yet also without pulling back to controlling the experience like a daydream. The former is being swept away by the river, and the latter is standing on the shore thinking about it; learning to walk the fine line of control and allowance to stay in that ‘imaginal realm’ actually takes practice. Crazy people think it’s all autonomous and happening ‘to’ them; people unable to allow this for themselves, may think it’s all imagination; and they’d both be right, because they are both lost; the goal is a whole world that bridges and encompasses both of those.

-- on "Interworlds Meditation"

Q: Where are you now?

Me: Well, back in my own reality.

Q: Wrong. You are in a reality version that distraction and denial have made for you.

Me: How do I get out?

Q: Wrong question. There is no space, there is no time. Where are you again?

Me: Oh. I’m wherever I "pay attention" to being.

Q: Right. You PAY attention. It is the currency of your soul. You rent your reality. Never forget that. The choice to move is yours.

Dealing with the unconscious has become a question of life for us.
The play of the imagination is incalculable.
~ Carl Jung

The imaginary can be innocuous, the imaginal never can.
~ Henry Corbin

A calling may be postponed, avoided, intermittently missed. It may also possess you completely. Whatever; eventually it will out. It makes its claim. The daimon does not go away.
~ James Hillman

There comes a time when the mind takes a higher plane of knowledge but can never prove how it got there.
-- Albert Einstein


This blog documents much of my work in the "inter-worlds" of a greater-self. It's not just esoteric: every thing corresponds — the mundane, the arcane, the divine. If it had to be summed up you might say it is "a universe of personalization." A strange place where monotheism and ultimate-pantheism are one and the same.

I am a natural mystic, if spontaneous experiences determine such a thing. I am not religious in any way; only guidance from the inside drives me. No identities or models unless they are introduced to me from the inside. (Sometimes I use them simply for interest, or because their models are convenient doorways -- but I accept none of their doctrines.) I briefly studied theology at one point, independently (I consider constant prayer a valid part of edu too), and where it led me was "anywhere-else." It's fine for others of course. I consider the heart of free will to be that everyone has their own road. Or as Heinlein once wrote, the right to go to hell in their own handbasket.

This tends to make me obsessed with the divine yet not religious at all, in any form, which is often confusing to onlookers. I am ever in love with and in closer pursuit of integration with The Christ (which I consider a solar-planetary deity, exceeding and preceding all possible religion, though cyclically present within our species) but I'm not remotely a modern Christian, and this also tends to be very confusing to onlookers. I'm a student of archetypes and pattern systems, yet not a jungian intellectual - armchair philosophy bores me - nor a power occultist - which has its own issues (and uniforms) to say the least.

After nearly two decades of certain experiences I felt alone with and thought were unique to me, it turns out I find some harmony in the gnostic writings. I didn't get it from there, and am not fond of that doctrine and the paradigms it came in with, so I ignore it. Which means despite talking about just a few things specific to it (by unknowing accident until a few years ago), I'm not part of that model either.

The road I walk is my own. It doesn't really have an easy label or anybody else on it, that I can see. This is between me and God, so it doesn't really need to work for anybody else. I used to wish I wasn't the only person with such experiences or practices, and started a blog in part in the hope I might find others with something similar. Maybe a need for community. I'm over that now, at least I think. I walk alone, but Light is with me. Can't ask for more than that.

-- Palyne

When we understand that perception is as much about source as target; that energy is a spectrum and best psi perception comes from the center, its balance and blend; that the manifest communication of our Selves is the literal 'reality' we experience; that everything in that reality is a profound 3D language element; that insight with the ‘center’ of spectrum is likely to be via the language-symbols of 'reality;' that these need to be interpreted at the level they are received; this is the path for intentional psi.
-- Insight on the Art of RV

Notes to Self, 02 May 2012

She dropped us in a big room with beat music and people all over, clearly a party of some kind. We found this woman that Calme recognized, like she was of her energy. She was a young woman and slightly high on something. We got her out of there and got her to go home and then… I lost track of what the hell we were doing–Nero pointed out my lousy attention span I might add–but somehow, we actually “became present in her” — to her notice. So basically this woman realized all the sudden that she had like six people that were all part of her somehow. … Anyway, that she did not run screaming into the night is to her credit. […] IG said the others were distracting me, which was possibly a diplomatic way of saying I had the attention span of a 3 year old, and so they left. […] I was on the street someplace that seemed a lot like here frankly. Modern day city. Late morning, slightly overcoast, windy, cars all over. A woman (age indeterminate to me) with long straight dark hair was walking, carrying this big artist’s portfolio she was fighting with on a windy day. I understood I was there related to her, so I made myself invisible (just to be sure I was) and followed her closely.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Notes to Self, 02 May 2012

Notes to Self, 22 Mar 12

Morning: Breathing with Jiri (Hot Amanakhaton).

Formerly-winged-guy felt more like 18% or so merged. Well, there is no ‘feeling’ involved just a ‘scan for awareness’ I’m doing.

Prayer. The real kind.

Did nothing else useful for most the day.

Late in day: freaked out for some reason. Actually ordered pizza and a 2L soda. Yes that’s very bad, not common for me but I was having some weird sudden moment I can’t explain, I wasn’t even really hungry and I had plenty of stuff (including carbs if that was the goal) at home. Took lots of gluten-ease but was only able to eat a few slices and had to force myself, at that. The whole thing tasted off. As if my body chemistry has changed in some weird way. The only thing that tasted weirder than the pizza was the soda (Sprite), that was especially icky-bizarre. It just didn’t have the good-brain-chemicals response this stuff normally would. How confusing! What a waste of money. I just put it all down and refused to eat or drink any more of it.

Formerly-winged-guy: about 23.something % merged. I’m wondering if I can blame the weird food response on him.

Late evening. Breathing with LaeLee, Calme, Nedlund.

I have felt especially affectionate about all the Aeons. Not really connected frankly. But affectionate. I prayed as part of each one today, to allow, to release and dissolve any resistance to their energy.

I felt at one point, that merely being allowed awareness of the

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Notes to Self, 22 Mar 12

Notes to Self, 21 Mar 12


Morning: I feel, at this moment, as if me and the formerly-winged-guy are sharing the same space, in terms of atomic particles, but are still almost fully separate. The ‘almost’ part took the whole night and morning to get to and still barely anything. It’s things like this that make me feel I’m just imagining it all.

Didn’t mean to fall asleep for my lunch time.

Afternoon: Breathing with Ithikah. Breathing with L’Anna. Breathing with Ray.

Took the Joplin Tornado pics off my phone and onto my computer. I haven’t even looked at them since the day I took them (2 weeks after it occurred) and I have never removed them from the phone. It’s like some massive passive aggressive response based on how it traumatized me. I just couldn’t, wouldn’t even think about it. Now all the sudden I just had the urge to deal with it and get it done.

Feel now as if formerly-winged-guy is now ‘a larger percentage’ of me, except it doesn’t feel any different… hard to explain. I had this impression that this was happening very slowly to prevent my subconscious rejecting it outright. It’s still only a small %. Like maybe 11 or so.

Humor: when I was initially attempting to merge with him, I had this sudden ‘notice’ of a prominent, er, body part he has, because of the associated lover painting linked to yesterday I’m sure, which made me laugh. Well I was typing something – oh, about a tarot

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Notes to Self, 21 Mar 12

Jiri and Bo

Hot Amanakhaton began as an extremely oversized gold-toned egyptian-esque statue, when I first met him. I didn’t really know what to do with him given he was not like all my other Aeons which, although they ranged from people to almost-people to some energy I didn’t really have a perceived form for, at least had the good grace to communicate with me. Hot (prounounced ‘Hote’) was an object, which was novel.

So I sat on its shoulders and talked to it, or imagined its oversized hands holding mine while I communicated. And gradually it morphed into a man, though it took awhile. The last time or two we’d talked, he had introduced himself to me as a regular person and said his friends called him Jiri. A nickname. So I did too. Our relationship had been improving. I didn’t know what I would find now. Would he have regressed back into the statue?

I closed my eyes and imagined myself with him. Jiri? I asked inside myself, as if to look for him.

He threw himself into a hug with me and said hello with such delight I was almost taken aback. He had never been that clear to me, let alone that enthusiastic.

How is it we feel so much closer? I asked him, delighted but bewildered.

Things go on while you aren’t paying attention, he laughed with a grin, still seeming so happy to see me.

I thought my work would stomp over my connect to all of you, I said with some surprise. It’s just so great to find our relationship has actually improved. Wow.

I have something to show you! He exclaimed, nearly bouncing with enthusiasm. His delight was infectious and I had to laugh a little. He’s never been like this for me. Never so communicative. Never so animated. Let alone done or said anything that was that much a surprise to me, at least that I recall.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Jiri and Bo

Waking Up to Pazyryk

I still don’t really understand what the Largers are for sure, or why they have such an effect, or how many there might be, but one thing is sure, when they really WANT to focus on me — as they have all done in the brief encounters I’ve had with them so far — I really feel it, hear it, see it, whatever. As if they are like my Aeons on-Steroids-of-the-Spirit or something.

So later that morning, I thought that might be an ideal time to do an Aeon round, and introduce my Largers to… er, my smallers, you might say — well anyway, to my Aeons, which seem to ‘compose me’, so it almost seems like I am somewhere between those two. One by one I formally introduced each Aeon to Pazyryk and asked him to help me integrate better with them, so I could integrate better with him, and me and the Aeon merged, and then I imagined (I had to imagine it, he wasn’t helping) Pazyryk to join the merge as well. Then after a few moments of positive energy, I just left them there together to do whatever they wished, and told the Aeon to tell me when they were done.
Various of them took various lengths until they said something. Taan the longest. But Taan is also, he said, the energies of both my body and how others and myself perceive my body, and Pazyryk is the guy who asked me ‘why my legs wouldn’t talk to him’, so maybe it relates somehow to that–I brought that up when I introduced them.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Waking Up to Pazyryk

The Larger Aeon Round

I feel as if most of two months ‘off’ meditating is something I really needed. Like I was ‘overtraining’, spiritually. The arrival of the Largers in me really kicked my ass. I feel so much better now. Like I am ready for a new cycle.

I think I actually dreamed I blogged something that I didn’t, very recently, since I find no trace of it. By the time I realized I had not ‘really’ blogged it, it was too late and I’d forgotten it. That’s kinda funny.

As I was told to simply give them names, I have named the three Largers. Dominon (dahm’-ee-non), Pazyryk (Pa-zsur’-ik), and Rahleon (rah-lee’-on). The first one’s name sounds a little like what I’d come up with originally that I got laughed at for, sort of. And to me has some of the big/dominating element. The second is the name of an ancient people that the aspect of him I see, seems like he could be from. And the third is just a made up word, for the sun and a lion, which is a little of how I perceive him.

My sex drive has pretty much tripled from the time of their arrival. I thought it was some weird phase that would pass but it’s been a couple of months and it hasn’t yet. It’s almost shocking. And since I’m single it’s a little bit frustrating of course. My physical energy in general is slightly higher as well, though not so much that I

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at The Larger Aeon Round

Hot Amanakhaton and the Queen

I was going to do an Aeon round this morning. I started at the top of the current arrangement, which is Hot Amanakhaton. He is more ‘human’ and less ‘giant golden egyptian-ish statue’ than ever. I was trying to tease him and feel emotion for him and bring him ‘closer’ to me, more real, more communicative. (In the end, it worked, but I never did get to any of the other Aeons.)

I was kinda randy so that gave me a bright idea, and I asked him how he felt about me using some quality time with him, with the energy all about our relationship and me ‘integrating’ him further. He agreed, and that went fairly well. I don’t feel as close as I do to Nero or Marcan, but way better than I ever have with H.A. before now.

A little later, I said to him that since he and I had been so non-integrated, and he was all that powerful male energy, that I assume he’s dominantly from the Senior’s energy. But he contradicted me, saying, “I am mostly of the Queen.” That really surprised me. Then I thought that since the identity I see her in is what I call “pre-Egyptian” (the long-head people I believe the Egyptians were trying to be like) maybe that makes sense.

Now it seems obvious — she is also a golden (metallic) eagle for goddsakes — yet for some reason, the giant gold egyptian statue, I didn’t realize was related to

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Hot Amanakhaton and the Queen

Aeon Round, 01-Sep-2010

Today was my mother’s birthday. She died when she was 37, when I was 9, and most years I try to do something specific on this day. If nothing else, just spend a decent chunk of time thinking about my life. About who I want to be. About what she might have wanted for me. About the advice that she might give me, from wherever she is. Sometimes I try to do something courageous on September 1st. I feel like she would want me to be courageous. I don’t remember a great deal of her, but I do remember that she was often telling me to ask for what I wanted in life. “The worst they can do is say no,” she used to say. I have always had a difficult time asking for anything, or accepting anything. I have gotten better at the latter, I think.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Aeon Round, 01-Sep-2010


There comes a time when you just wake up one day and realize that you are responsible for yourself and that anything you want, only you can get.

And there comes a time when you realize that you could be so much more than you are, and that your limits are more a matter of avoiding the responsibility of becoming your fuller potential, than anything else.

The other day somewhat out of the blue I just ‘understood’ what the Queen meant in the dream where I said I didn’t know why I was with the 4, all powerful psychics when I wasn’t, and she said they understood that I was still pretending all that but they trusted that I would grow past this and accept myself and become more one with them.

And I went to the Four and I told them, ok. I’m here, now. I’m done with that denial. I’m getting old. It’s time for me to finally grow up. Take responsibility for myself.

This requires behaviors in your physical world, the Senior said as a reminder.

I understood what he meant, then and from previous conversations. One doesn’t get more and more fluid with the all-of-them unless they spend consistent time interacting with the all-of-them, or whatever aspects of it they can. You don’t usually get much better at music, sports, or academic topics unless you spend some time studying or practicing. This is just the nature of experience.

So, that means regular time spent ‘touching base’

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Responsibility

Rambling. And: IG is Angelic

I was talking with IG, sort of. Emoting ‘with’ her as I do sometimes. Wondering just a little if I should close my eyes or turn around or something else that might make it easier for her to bring me an archetype, because sometimes I get the impression my expectations limit things. She has been so wildly creative and pushing the boundaries of what I expect or can figure out how to deal with. I was idly thinking about this at the same time I was just working on ‘being with’ her, when all the sudden, I think she shared her perception with me a little.

She thought I was so sweet. I felt her ‘sweetness’ on perceiving me and my efforts. That is another topic I’ll address in a bit.

The main point was that from her perspectives, what I am doing in archetype meditations, is like… I don’t want to say childish because we have a negative baggage on that word and she has nothing negative, she is nothing but love. But it is so… so rudimentary. Actually even that word is way too big and too advanced. If there are 100 points of ‘skill and experience’ I thought myself to be around, oh, maybe 30 or 40. But through her I saw: I am not even to 1! Not even to 0.01. Not because I’m not capable, but because that’s the limits on the experience I have allowed myself.

I suddenly understood that the kind of interaction she and I could have was so huge, wild, creative, amazing, powerful, I can’t even wrap my brain around a fraction of it. I can’t even imagine it, literally.

I saw that my little step by step process, despite that any one of those elements were fine if I wanted to do that or interact that way, the process — moreso, the “expectations” — were an incredible limitation. There aren’t even words for how limiting it is.

I felt as if, she had this entire world, this range that was cosmic, and such wild opportunity, and yet there I am down at the algae/amoeba level, walking through ‘the inner guide meditation’. There’s nothing wrong with it. It’s been awesome for me. I’ve certainly branched out of it a bit. But… it’s a tiny little box. I never knew that. I thought it was a doorway but it turns out it’s more like a tiny little structure.

The expectations limit what we can do.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Rambling. And: IG is Angelic

Aeon Round, Weaving

I was going to call my friend and go to sleep when I thought, well I should do an Aeon Round first. I grabbed my beads and made myself comfortable. Ithikah, I said, how about you help me here. What could I do that would be novel and neat?

He had this idea about ‘sewing’ the energy of me into each Aeon or vice-versa but no matter how I went about that I had this sort of feeling like ‘something punctured’ so that just didn’t work. We thought of other ideas and discarded them. We came back to the first and looked at alternatives, strings, etc. when I said, hey wait! IG used to “weave me” with RV targets when I was doing archetype-RV. Basically she would ‘unwind us’ into a string that she ‘wove’ with the other from the feet up until we were ‘merged’. I would keep that until after feedback and then she would “de-weave” us.

That’s how experiences like the one with the target of Ganymede (more sentient than I am, it turns out) happened, because I was still ‘merged’ with it when I was getting feedback, so G’s opinion on our opinion on what G was like was suddenly apparent, as if it were viewing or in rapport with me, and it all took off from there.That weaving was definitely in line with the ‘threads’ concept Ithikah had so we both loved the idea, and IG was clearly game to help out. She did it

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Aeon Round, Weaving

Novelty in Energy Work

It is a little like ditching the standard formula prayer (dear god/you’re cool/gimme stuff/in Jesus’s name/I’m done) and working on truly being spontaneous and inspired and free-form and making every communication genuinely from the heart and unique to that moment.

I did an archmed yesterday on “whatever I am most resistant about,” which I then modified, “I mean, which I am capable of working with,” because I suddenly had the feeling that ‘the most resistant’ thing would just fall out of my brain because I am, well, that resistant, haha. The archetype was so interesting. I was surprised I could see it at all let alone well. Then I was surprised that I found it pretty, which is rare to doesn’t-even-happen for things I am usually resistant to.

The figure was like human but instead of a head there was this fat flat post like where the neck would be and then instead of a head, that post sprouted two wide saturns-rings-like round shapes (half on each) that came around and left some open space in front. The flat open-front ring-like shape was sparkly deep-blue glitter with other sparkly glitters of metallics and deep green. I was so surprised that I found it so pretty, as I’d expected something either hard to see or yucky. [Later edit 24MAR2012: I just noticed something odd; the rich deep sparkly color of this, and my sense of beauty, reminds me greatly of my brief experience (recent) seeing the Heart Chakra. I don’t suppose this could have been a chakra or an archetype ‘influenced by’ the translated visual of one?)

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Novelty in Energy Work