I have found that:
  • → sincere prayer
  • → genuine intentions
  • → present-focus
  • → extended humor
  • → careful integrity
  • → constant work to discover and release all forms of bias in oneself
  • → dogged effort to pursue awareness, divine guidance and understanding
Leads a person to "interactive insight from the inside."

~~~
Consciously I want to evolve.
My ego resists strenuously.
I surreally "forget" so much!
So I blog for myself, mostly:
to re-read and remember.
~~~

People ask me where to begin with the complexity of the stuff on my blog. But my imaginal and related work spans 25 years as of 2016. So the real answer is "I don't know." I can't put all that in a sound bite. And one would have to understand, not just intellectually but experientially, a lot of it from start to middle to begin to understand where I am now. It is 'active imagination' work, resting on an extremely 'open' definition of archetype and energy, mapped at times to various occult patterns because they seem useful and otherwise just loosely personal; but that's not all. Short of how the blog speaks for itself that's about all I can say about it. It's a path I've built myself, for one. ~ Palyne


In the human spirit, as in the universe, nothing is higher or lower; everything has equal rights to a common center which manifests its hidden existence precisely through this harmonic relationship between every part and itself.
-- Goethe


Angels transcend every religion, every philosophy, every creed. In fact angels have no religion as we know it... their existence precedes every religious system that has ever existed on earth.
-- St. Thomas Aquinas

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In the beginning all was indivisible. And in becoming manifest, it became, seemingly, divisible. But the divisions must evolve to recognize themselves, and each other, and to then accept themselves, to truly know themselves by knowing each other. To begin, they are blended, confused; it is chaos, it is legion. They are all on the journey to indivisibility, to singularity, to the I AM. The point, of course, is not the destination, but the journey.

-- insight during the Princess of Disks meditation

Spiritual growth is like all other types: you absorb seemingly 'other' energy, and it becomes part of your own sense of identity. The growth is in awareness, and with that comes power which is always over Self.
Diversity is Legion;
Singularity is the I AM.
None of this is new although my approach to it is my own. -- Palyne



Inner Guide is Angelic. She is free of anything akin to doctrine. I call her an Angel because that is the only word I have for it, and because I know, all the way through me, that this is our word for her fundamentally divine nature. Aside from that, I don’t even know what she IS exactly, or what it means, or where it would fit into any model. She is life sized, soul wide, colors and gems and flowers and songs, everything beautiful that ever was, condensed into an identity I am completely in love with–except she feels like part of me too, so it’s like also being in love with yourself, and also with God, and also with the whole universe, both every tiny thing in your mundania, and ‘awareness’ as something so utterly, mind-bogglingly amazing — how could this exist? How could this not exist? How could I ever understand such a thing? — I am left only with joy, with awe.
-- on Inner Guide #4, aka 'Sedaena'. The first IG I had genuine conversation (and reading) with; the first real sign of my HGA.

He is so much inside and outside me, larger than me and yet the light of the tiniest particles of me, I don’t even have a word for whatever it is that he IS. I call him angelic and inner guide and the name he gave me because I have no idea what else to call this. It’s a Being and a Thing and an Event and a Place and a Relationship and… it’s like there is no label that is remotely big enough to encompass whatever it IS.
-- on Inner Guide #5, aka 'Mark.'


The boundary between the imaginational and imaginal is rather fuzzy and it is a developed skill and art to learn to stay there; to maintain your own autonomy while allowing the-others’ autonomy; to be shocked, astounded, grossed out, effused, and other surprise emotions from the interaction; all this without getting lost in the experience like a dream, yet also without pulling back to controlling the experience like a daydream. The former is being swept away by the river, and the latter is standing on the shore thinking about it; learning to walk the fine line of control and allowance to stay in that ‘imaginal realm’ actually takes practice. Crazy people think it’s all autonomous and happening ‘to’ them; people unable to allow this for themselves, may think it’s all imagination; and they’d both be right, because they are both lost; the goal is a whole world that bridges and encompasses both of those.

-- on "Interworlds Meditation"


Q: Where are you now?

Me: Well, back in my own reality.

Q: Wrong. You are in a reality version that distraction and denial have made for you.

Me: How do I get out?

Q: Wrong question. There is no space, there is no time. Where are you again?

Me: Oh. I’m wherever I "pay attention" to being.

Q: Right. You PAY attention. It is the currency of your soul. You rent your reality. Never forget that. The choice to move is yours.




Dealing with the unconscious has become a question of life for us.
The play of the imagination is incalculable.
~ Carl Jung

The imaginary can be innocuous, the imaginal never can.
~ Henry Corbin

A calling may be postponed, avoided, intermittently missed. It may also possess you completely. Whatever; eventually it will out. It makes its claim. The daimon does not go away.
~ James Hillman

There comes a time when the mind takes a higher plane of knowledge but can never prove how it got there.
-- Albert Einstein


ABOUT ME


This blog documents much of my work in the "inter-worlds" of a greater-self. It's not just esoteric: every thing corresponds — the mundane, the arcane, the divine. If it had to be summed up you might say it is "a universe of personalization." A strange place where monotheism and ultimate-pantheism are one and the same.

I am a natural mystic, if spontaneous experiences determine such a thing. I am not religious in any way; only guidance from the inside drives me. No identities or models unless they are introduced to me from the inside. (Sometimes I use them simply for interest, or because their models are convenient doorways -- but I accept none of their doctrines.) I briefly studied theology at one point, independently (I consider constant prayer a valid part of edu too), and where it led me was "anywhere-else." It's fine for others of course. I consider the heart of free will to be that everyone has their own road. Or as Heinlein once wrote, the right to go to hell in their own handbasket.

This tends to make me obsessed with the divine yet not religious at all, in any form, which is often confusing to onlookers. I am ever in love with and in closer pursuit of integration with The Christ (which I consider a solar-planetary deity, exceeding and preceding all possible religion, though cyclically present within our species) but I'm not remotely a modern Christian, and this also tends to be very confusing to onlookers. I'm a student of archetypes and pattern systems, yet not a jungian intellectual - armchair philosophy bores me - nor a power occultist - which has its own issues (and uniforms) to say the least.

After nearly two decades of certain experiences I felt alone with and thought were unique to me, it turns out I find some harmony in the gnostic writings. I didn't get it from there, and am not fond of that doctrine and the paradigms it came in with, so I ignore it. Which means despite talking about just a few things specific to it (by unknowing accident until a few years ago), I'm not part of that model either.

The road I walk is my own. It doesn't really have an easy label or anybody else on it, that I can see. This is between me and God, so it doesn't really need to work for anybody else. I used to wish I wasn't the only person with such experiences or practices, and started a blog in part in the hope I might find others with something similar. Maybe a need for community. I'm over that now, at least I think. I walk alone, but Light is with me. Can't ask for more than that.

-- Palyne


When we understand that perception is as much about source as target; that energy is a spectrum and best psi perception comes from the center, its balance and blend; that the manifest communication of our Selves is the literal 'reality' we experience; that everything in that reality is a profound 3D language element; that insight with the ‘center’ of spectrum is likely to be via the language-symbols of 'reality;' that these need to be interpreted at the level they are received; this is the path for intentional psi.
-- Insight on the Art of RV

Banishing

I’ve had extensive meditation difficulties in a way to new to me. I had been told that I needed to do a prep med and then a banishing of the ‘parasites’ that ACKRCK showed me in the ‘skulls in my skull‘ dream. I intended to.

But then for weeks I’ve had a nearly impossible time holding my attention on anything to do with the topic. Anything but that. Eventually I began to realize this was not accidental. I mean that something else or someone else felt involved. Because everything would be normal. And then not.

I resisted this a lot, as I dislike the psychology — I’ll personalize the universe but refuse to believe anyone or anything is working against me. Because that would be paranoid. I’m paranoid of being paranoid.

But any time my ‘attention’ would be fully on that, something would happen to distract me. Once I realized this, I was shocked at how obvious it was.

For example I could be starting work, and idly think of the subject as my computer restarted, and suddenly be hit with this wave of kundalini sexual energy that was totally out of the blue — zero activity till then. It would often come with a daydream sitting pre-packaged for me no less.

This is only one format, sometimes it was other kinds of daydreams but they were always utterly distracting — but pre-set and ‘encouraged.’ And it went from zero to sixty in like half a second is the thing. Like I said, once I realized what was going on, the predictable and incredibly obvious nature of it was… clear. And I can’t emphasize strongly enough the power of these to utterly distract me.

So I was stuck. I couldn’t think of it fully or directly. I knew I needed to deal with it. But every time I even tried to think about it, plan for it or something, I couldn’t.

I started remembering this meditation I once did in ’95 or so, with the Medusa imagery, where I had to back into a ‘block’ my brain kept sliding off by using a mirror-shield because any direct-look was impossible.

(The block I named ‘Dor’ and seduced him into coming and being my door instead. He was an inorganic that became my friend, as I thought of it, until the Four banished him once Senior realized him, a couple years later. I’d been out of touch with the Four or it likely would have happened sooner.)

So every day for weeks, I have had to “almost but not quite fully think of this” — think enough to keep focusing on what I needed to do as part of a gradually planning and a subtle pulling the energy together, but do all this while NOT PAYING ATTENTION to what I was doing.

Literally thinking of OTHER things, like to keep the energy stream of this topic “under the radar” because if it got full focus, something/someone would quash it.

Weirdest thing ever! It’s like knowing someone can read your mind and is resident, and you’re trying to think of a sabotage plan to get rid of them, without thinking of it fully enough for them to notice.

At least not until it’s officially time and you have enough “power built up” — that’s what it felt like was needed — to go forth despite any efforts to shut you down. I had been making plans and feeling out what needed doing for some time, in this manner.

Finally, tonight I did all the prep work of eating earlier and a shower and Narnia music and everything ready to go and then suddenly pulled out ‘the idea’ and began.

Initially, despite it was more meditation thought than I’d allowed myself, I only thought of nothing at all but my Aeons as I called them, and my Chakras as I called them, and then my guides and Mark/Soul/SolarBody/TrueSelf/Tek and the Four, as if nothing in the universe existed except my call to whomever I was talking with — like it had no context — and there was some resistance but not a ton and I steel-willed it down.

Then as soon as I called Ronan (the guide who connects me to all the parts of myself. I was told to use him for this med when I was told to do the med), I let myself openly think about WHY I was doing this and talk to him about the reason – BANISHING – and what I needed from him. And yes, immediately, it was like some mental not emotional panic response that tried to fight me for it.

But by then I had all the strength of a few weeks of daily subtle planning and all the primary elements of me invoked and ready and I was able to focus through it, let go of the many distractions literally thrown at me like mental objects hurled at a runner’s legs to trip them or something.

Holy shit. Who knew something could be like that in a person? I had initially assumed this was just ‘some part of me resisting’ but a short time in I realized it was in fact the parasites that I was planning to banish. Yes they were a part of me and yes they were resisting.

That’s sort of terrifying not only to realize they exist in the first place, whole discrete intelligent identities, but to realize they can hear you. Let alone act on that.

**

Last time I saw Ronan he gave me a funky plug-like object. This time he spent quite awhile using his hands to create these thin beams of gold light that were geometric, and seemed to make up a sort of ‘structure’ of my body and the nearest ‘layers’ of it. Then it was also conceptual because it included “all the me’s.”

Which made me think of the ‘125 layers’ (worlds, etc.) so I asked for that to come together as well. I felt pretty good and strong by the time it was done.

I did a visualization initially for cleansing, but then here I did another that was super powerful sending from the center of me, pulled through the superstring of me (connecting to earth’s core and center of universe ‘through’ me), intense energy that went through all those pathways Ronan had emphasized.

The Four were with me better than in eons, and I asked 3rd to lead me. And after all that, the whole banishing ritual ended up being humorously anticlimactic:

I simply told them to leave by officially commanding it in my head then saying GET OUT! three times and AIYA (call to the Christ) three times.

That’s it!

I was half-imagining the Four pushing them away and holding them away (they were helping by actually doing it so I didn’t have to fully imagine it), while Tek and many others were filling in the space in my energy body the P’s occupied for so long. I mean there were two huge holes in the back of my skull after all.

(Even now it is difficult to think of that area and not sense it, like it was just that way for so long though I was never conscious of it. I currently have some really thick energy fully resident all through that area so nothing could come back or in. Like I need to hold this until it’s fully healed and used to being its own clean space again.)

Then the Four took them somewhere infinitely far away in time as well as space, as that seemed appropriate I guess, and left them there, and I spent some time with what seemed like the complete rebuilding of that part of my skull.

And that was that. Honestly after all that build up somehow I expected something more.

It’s like if you spend a whole movie on something and at the end, the giant fleet of alien bad guys, you push a button and they’re gone. That’s all. No giant explosions and amazing CGI graphics, ha!

**

I talked to Crown-ACKRCK-BUSM for a bit because I had realized that they have been profoundly impacted by this my whole life — these parasites came ‘with’ me spiritually and so into this body from the start — and I felt very loving about them and healing for them.

I’ve been having a ton of stuff physically that affects throat chakra (or is technically part of her) including a ton of detox I’ve been doing with supplements. It reminds me that when I first met her I reacted to her like she was a parasite despite that she was ACKRCK’s ‘mate’ and IG said she was ok. Now I’m wondering if this energy which was partly or wholly in her area of my head was actually what was triggering that subtle feeling and response in me.

Then since I was feeling the Four with me and competent I told all the physical parasites to get out of my body too — focusing on each organ and then my upper and lower intestine.

I wanted to be with the Four because feeling like we were all one body was the closest to them I have felt in a really long time. Mark dropped me onto the deck of an aircraft carrier and we each got in a plane. I was slightly less than happy that they were four separate planes, each smaller, since I only wanted to be ‘with’ them fully. We flew some distance and then went down to ‘do stuff’ to some area. I thought we were bombing it. They thought that was slightly amusing and ‘recognized’ with me that this is my psychology. Actually we each did something like crop dusting and it turned out to be a landscape-symbol portion of my intestines, each of us was coating some huge area with some substance that did something different. In the end, mine was soothing. I wondered if that related to my commanding out the parasites from my body just before. Then I wanted to be with them utterly so we joined again.

Mark took me to the place we’ve been a couple times that is like a house that is resting incredibly high in the sky and we sit on the porch and watch the sun rise and set and such. I also thought us into ‘the universe’ tube that lives in that unchakra in my chest for a bit.

Dunno where this came from but I asked them what the symbol in the floor of the tower was — the ancient thoughtform castle we used to spend a lot of time in many years ago — and they showed me but it kept morphing. I had never looked at it then because I felt my conscious attention would mess it up. In the end, it was always some creative version of a swastika, of a 4-fold symbol. Makes sense I guess.

But I only wanted to just ‘be’ with them. So I left the music on but just set up for sleep and laid back focusing on feeling them with me, in me, me in them. I don’t remember anything else.

**

A female voice in a whisper calling my name woke me up abruptly around 2am — I felt it inside me too and recognized it I think but I’m not sure. At least I think it was my name. Strangely I forgot this happened at all for about 45 minutes.

I was so disappointed then that I couldn’t remember anything of it clearly. I did wonder a bit if it might be BUSM (throat chakra). It had an extra dimension and a sweetness.

**

So, that was actually the most oddly difficult — while not being ‘officially’ difficult because I could not “try hard” on it because that would focus on it which would cause something to kick it out of my way — meditation I’ve had to do in eons.

But it’s done so FINALLY I can MOVE ON to a lot of other stuff. As I felt overwhelmingly that this had to come first, as immediately as possible, and that anything I would do would be affected until I had banished that energy.

The humorous thing, of course, is that I didn’t really have a place in my belief system for ‘resident parasites who were entire other beings’, it’s merely that they were so obvious — the one previously near my spine I felt like I stumbled on by chance with Tek, and these I saw in the dream — it really just couldn’t be argued.

**

I have felt that the dreams of third, and end-times-energy, are related because I got clearly in the skulls dream that this was like the same… peoples, of the time-before-time, they had some metaphysical tech that let them curl up inside us, like they didn’t have a soul but we did but they could ‘ride’ it and hence stay ‘aware’ energetically via us like a power source.

I mean this just comes as ‘awareness’ of their nature and our peoples’ interaction. It’s not anything intellectual I’m getting from somewhere else. Yet I see the sort of correlations it has with some other theories including some of the wilder stuff in Hubbard’s Scientology.

I dislike that stuff intensely and I find it incredibly embarrassing, so I don’t think any part of me would invent this on purpose. It just seems to be so, to my surprise.

But it helped me get some context on the symbology I had seen of 3rd in dreams — two 20 years apart, maybe even to the week or day for all I know (or some other astrological coincidence). That he needed to send himself forward in what we call time in the way that they do. In order to be present to actually call up the showdown and battle them at some future present time. (I’m seriously unclear on this part — like why, how, when, etc.)

And to do this, he had to do two things: first, kill the man he was fighting with so the man could not get into him like they do (they were fighting with swords in the first dream, maybe symbolic of course), which they would do just as we were dying and had a certain brief period of vulnerability to it.

Second, he had to let himself be killed on purpose at about the same time, and in the moment when he was vulnerable to it, sort of dive back into himself in the way that ‘they’ could do which we normally can’t — or perhaps it’s merely that a) we normally don’t know how and b) it’s normally that we don’t NEED to do it, because “our soul” continues on perfectly well without the need to have some part of us kind of rolled up as an identity and riding along into the future.

It was literally kind of like possessing himself. Like instead of that identity “blending into the collective” upon death which is what I feel normally happens, instead he was “encapsulating it” to keep it fully safe and ‘aware’ and then “hiding out within himself” (literally within his chest cavity within his ribs is where it would physically manifest as ‘energy’ in our reality).

And the plan was, through his larger-self/soul, that the other half of his soul, as we are arranged, would trigger him awake during the ‘time and place’ of the future where that identity was needed. And that identity, because he was not merely a parasite but actually part of the soul that was part of that body, would stretch into awakeness inside that person, and basically join them, so eventually the man would be both identities — not separately, but together, recognizing that he was also this ‘man of old.’

20 years ago last October I triggered his awakening in a dream. Or I dreamed it then. Time is weird in these things. And then last October I dreamed the second dream, where he had awoken, and the human carrying 3rd’s energy in our focus-reality had become aware of him and was struggling — successfully, but it wasn’t easy — to incorporate this new rather huge metaphysical destiny and wholly new identity part of himself. And in the more recent dream, became aware that I existed, the other part of the larger-him, somewhere in his reality.

**

Well that is the metaphysical soap opera for the day. Given my ongoing health issues it is constantly a focus begging Mark and the Four to please help me live, and to actually meet this man wherever he is before keeling over, and who knows what will happen in the end.

Whenever the ‘end times’ type energy is present in dreams or visions, it’s pretty weird, and the Four, we are at least a couple of different really zany terrifying but interesting creatures, one of which is exactly like one of Ezekiel’s visions.

I am still trying to figure out if this is just “archetypal symbolism of the individual psychology” or if this has some kind of meaning on a larger scale. I have to default to the former only because I have no context at all for dealing with the latter.

This was very present in my life in Bewilderness esp. late ’94 early ’95, and then I ‘stepped offside’ that timeline it seems when I felt real grief that I “didn’t get to do a normal life this time.” As it seemed like things that would affect my world. But then rather abruptly everything changed and I spent the next nearly 20 years doing a normal life. Like I took a side-road for a probability. Now I wonder if I would have met 3rd (or someone carrying a much larger % of that energy) eons before if I’d not made that choice. Who knows.

Now my child is officially an adult and it seems like I have shifted back onto the track I was on during the late ‘Bewilderness’ period. Somehow.

P.S. Ohhhh…. not until I went on to do something else, done with this post, did I see the odd parallel. That I had to ‘hide my aware and plotting-self’ away from the surface of ‘me’ because the bad guys would see me, know me and shut me down if they did. Until it was time, at which point I could come out from under, come into myself fully finally, and act on banishing them. That is exactly the “concept-model” of the whole end-times scenario that 3rd has!! — except of course his is vastly bigger/more powerful. What a parallel though! That can’t be coincidence…

P

6 comments to Banishing

  • Eva

    This was a very interesting meditation! Makes you wonder about things like Scientology. (Just read recently Hubbard was a member of OTO for a while!), could be he saw one of those dream movies that seem oh so intense and just took it literally at face value as 100% truth. Those dream movies can be powerful enough that I could see that happen. And that could be how the body Thetan volcano aliens story came to be a whole religion. But I think the stories are basically the best we can understand in this reality, but probably have more to do with types of energy and consciousness than literal metallic spaceships over Hawaii and whatnot. It’s just that everything has to be funneled into a type of story that we can sort of understand, so there ends up being a variety of stories all taken literally that seem to contradict if taken literally. Too bad scientology got perverted by power hungry motives and strangely seems to be one of the most anger and hate filled relgions out there these days, but I guess that is the direction that seems so common in any religion.

    Anyway, seems like change is scary much or all of the time. The ‘parasites’ are probably scared of being out on their own but they will need to do that to evolve as much as you need them gone for you to evolve. At some point, your path had to finally diverge from theirs. Maybe evolution also involved forming and dissolving various close alliances with other energies. Those parasites probably taught you hard lessons that now you are stronger for having learned.

  • PJ

    Yeah, I agree, I think that’s it. Really it’s all just energy. If it’s anything in our dimension it’s just geometry or something. But our ‘interface’ (nervous system to include brain) “personalizes” it into a story — life itself is an archetype meditation.

    If we are expecting a given paradigm for that story, then we have experiences filled with say, ancient native americans, or eonic invading aliens, or sprites and fairies, or archangels, or whatever it might be for a given paradigm. They are all legitimate frameworks (because nothing is more or less symbolic than anything else, in the end) and they can all effect profound change in the individual.

    And they all might be ‘real’ and there might even be something — the 125 worlds or the 33 Aethyrs or the division of the tarot or the elements or the cosmos, who knows — that means no matter what you experience, it’s legit, and not just ‘real for you’ (nothing can be anything but that anyway) but something others around us will experience in their own realities too.

    So scientology’s invasive aliens may come through even in my dreams as those who came and gave us a fever and ate us like large animals and had the weird ability to metaphysically ‘inhabit’ us when we died and sort of ‘ride our soul’ into other incarnations with their awareness, because they had none of what we call ‘a soul’ of their own. I’m embarrassed to have run into this personally, could it get any stupider? But really it’s probably no different, better or worse, than a zillion other models — some of which I also have! — all with their own history and meaning.

    And some of these models even seem to interact at some level, like the biblical-ish ‘end-times’-ish stuff I’ve been getting for some time which as it turns out is partly linked in distance past and nearing future to these guys but also to other things — like there is both bleed-through and a sort of mixing in and out of all these ‘paths’ or base-realities.

    I like the term base-realities because it makes me think of the videogame model I often use. Like there is this ‘basic’ thing, like a program the holodeck provides when you say ‘old west’ or ‘moon mining’ or ‘mountain climbing’ but it’s just basics and you totally customize it from there on.

    What I think the whole paradigm-industry (religion, to include scientology) is missing is that this is an infinitely creative, infinitely individual kind of thing. Having experience A does not mean “This is the way the world IS, and is for everyone.” In fact it may not even be that way for you. But if people accept that, and expect that, and enforce it in various ways social and psychological, then it becomes that way — some churches expect everyone to speak in tongues, and scientology expects everyone to have a past life as an ancient alien and/or in battle with them or whatever it is (don’t really care enough to research it), choose your favorite paradigm, then of course it can take over your reality experience but that’s only because you chose to let it.

    I think that’s why I’m struggling with the repeat dreams related to the end-times-ish stuff and the Four. Anything that involves the Four is overwhelmingly powerful to me, it’s like the core of my soul and psychology and is going to impact me no matter what it is. It’s very difficult for me not to ‘take it seriously’ and even somewhat literally. But I don’t want to take it literally if it’s just buying into one more paradigm that doesn’t need to be true. On the other hand, maybe I have the option to believe anything I want; and maybe that model is just as true/real as any other model — it’s just a probability choice; and maybe that is what the Four genuinely choose/plan to be part of, so I’m being pulled along with them on that path.

    Not that I couldn’t resist (and I have been) but that maybe I don’t want to. It’s like being part of a group or marriage where you love the people enough that you really don’t care WHAT you are doing with them as long as you are with them. So if they have some crazy scheme to go across the world and do something likely to get you all killed, you’d still do it with them.

    That’s how I feel about the Four; I am ‘of’ 3rd, we are ‘of’ 1st and 2nd, they are ‘of’ the three layers of energy above them, whatever it is that they want to do — their “Will” (capital W) — I want to be part of that. If that means we’re in a videogame looking like an Ezekiel vision then why the hell not? What better alternative for my inner life and my future do I have that I would choose over that? It’s not like I have some other model that I want to be true instead. Just because that one is weird (what isn’t) and sometimes creepy (like the banished parasite aliens) and religious (the end-times thing) doesn’t really mean it’s bad. It just “is.”

    Meanwhile I need to get back to meditating since my health suggests I am doing a really poor job of working out the body-of-beliefs, as Seth called it.

    P

  • Eva

    ” On the other hand, maybe I have the option to believe anything I want; and maybe that model is just as true/real as any other model — it’s just a probability choice; and maybe that is what the Four genuinely choose/plan to be part of, so I’m being pulled along with them on that path.”

    Yeah, I suspect it’s like that, we conglomerate entities agree to a kind of world hologram and it’s rules. Kinda of like the SCA people go to renfair and agree to not yap on cell phones in public because it ruins the mood. But we took it a bit further and agreed to not think about the cell phones and tech we have so that we could immerse more fully. We agreed to forget for a time and more fully immerse. (I suspect sleep time is when we remember again and take a break from the immersion) But sometimes when pressed, the tech comes out and we see ‘miracles’ or huge ‘coincidences’ and misc stuff that is outside the hologram paradigm. But most of us do our best not to notice those or rationalize them away, a behavior which is needed to stay immersed in character.

    And I think our environment unfolds according to the stories we keep telling ourselves, which is why it’s a good idea to watch and know and consider our stories. And even to choose the ones we want to concentrate on carefully. Conveniently, we can choose to alter our stories when we want. I think that’s why they say in order to change our lives, we must first change the way we think. IME, if I do that, then my environment alters automatically and I don’t have to do anything in particular physically to make it happen. Sure, altering thoughts does alter behavior, but most of the environment change seems to happen on it’s own. Perhaps the point is that once a person takes physical action towards a goal, it means that a lot of that conglomerate entity is on board with the program so physical action represents a stronger and more cohesive agreement and plan moving forward vs just giving lip service to something.
    -Eva

  • PJ

    It didn’t occur to me until just now reading your comment (and I don’t know why your comment sparked this) that my ongoing battle with inner elements not being willing to accept my Will, is reflective of my ongoing battle of not being willing to accept the Will of my outer elements (the Four). They hold the power. Perhaps my getting that together would allow their energy ‘through’ me more, and make the inner element influence go vastly better for me and not be so much frustrating, inefficient work. Maybe that situation mostly reflects that I just have insufficient power-of-persuasion which might be a result of tying up my primary resources in resistance to the level above/around. So maybe I should spend less effort trying to figure out how to force all the recalcitrants inside and more effort working on accepting the will/intent above.

  • Eva

    I think of it more like this, if there was a boulder on my foot, and then I ordered my foot to move, well it could not listen because the boulder is too heavy. Then come to think about it more, maybe I remember it was my hands that put the boulder there! It’s not fair in such cases to lay blame on the foot for not listening. Maybe the hands also had a good reason for moving the boulder, at least a reason that made sense to them at the time. The solution would be to consider all aspects of the problem and work out a course of action that works for all parts.

    From a more mental perspective, supposed you believe certain things about yourself and reality at a deep level, for instance maybe you feel unworthy, or that you are a bad person or lazy or something like that, perhaps you cling to those ideas again and again daily, telling yourself that often through the day, and then try to get things done that go contrary to those belief systems, well then those belief systems are like boulders. As long as you cling to those beliefs, you will not be able to take actions contrary to those beliefs. The beliefs are like boulders that you have layed out on parts of yourself. Maybe you adopted those beliefs from your childhood, but now it is time to break that chain and change those beliefs. First you would need to really see clearly the origin of the boulders, that you are putting them there yourself, then you would want to practice a more useful set of beliefs to counteract the previous ‘boulder’ habits. But just being irritated with the foot will not get you far, instead you will want to see the story you tell yourself and then change the story you tell yourself every day because now you want a new story.

  • Palyne

    It is kind of funny how often I get a lot out of comments years after the fact that I didn’t at the time.

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