Consciously I want to evolve.
My ego resists and I forget.
I blog, re-read, remember.
So I blog for me, mostly.
I have found that:
  • → sincere and regular prayer
  • → genuinely good intentions
  • → present-focus, "interest"
  • → extended sense of humor
  • → honesty, sharing, healing
  • → constant work to discover and release bias in oneself
  • → dogged (to the extreme) effort to pursue awareness and understanding
Leads a person to "interactive insight from the inside." We only grok by going through.
Spiritual growth is like all others: you absorb, become aware, and via love (sympathetic rapport and desire to become or absorb) and will (directed intent), that energy becomes part of your singular sense of identity. The 'growth' is in awareness, and with that comes power which is always over Self. Diversity is Legion; Singularity is the I AM. None of this is new or unique. It's simply "unconscious and slow" for most people. I figure I can't help doing it, so I would rather do it well than badly.
Darkness is not of the Nothingness. It is not the opposite of light, as it only exists within the realm of light itself. Darkness is just something-ness lacking color. The universe is fundamentally of light, and darkness fails to hold dominance and fails to understand why: its nature precludes it: awareness itself makes all identities children of the light.

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Astrological Trivia About Me

I was born in Ojai California USA at 8:29pm (edited: 7:29am I believe it is instead) on September 14, 1965.

Apparently my natal chart has the following points:

sun, mercury, uranus, pluto > all in virgo
venus, mars, neptune > all in scorpio
jupiter and north node > both in gemini
rising > aries
moon > taurus
saturn > pisces

I once said I should learn astrology so I can blame being such a pinhead on it. Now other people who know astrology can do so instead.

I did once look at a review of my natal chart. I actually felt it had a ton of negatives that were accurate except that over the course of my life I have worked through those things. So it was a little confusing in that I agreed it was good for what I began with but it didn’t seem to have so much to do with me now, I mean in the ‘little things’ particularly the negative aspects of personality.

I do think the Aries rising, the Venus/Mars in Scorpio and the Sun in Virgo feel right to me though, even with what miniscule grain of info I know about astrology it’d be tough to imagine myself with anything else in those spots, given the personality I have now. Well, and Moon in Taurus, if utterly stubborn loyalty and overbonding to friends has anything to do with that.

I was supposed to be a sleep but an old client/friend wrote me having lost their entire website so I am up late trying to find it or piece together something temporarily. I leave on vacation for a week as of tomorrow (early tomorrow must leave for the airport, and I am SO not ready! sheesh!) but I am really hoping to stay with the meditations and blogging them. It feels important.

I feel as if the last 3 were something special to me inside — the three disks, and the ‘tarot world’ of the last one. Although I still feel resistance, I feel as if the larger picture of my effort is getting… well… more fun.

P

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