I have found that:
  • → sincere prayer
  • → genuine intentions
  • → present-focus
  • → extended humor
  • → careful integrity
  • → constant work to discover and release all forms of bias in oneself
  • → dogged effort to pursue awareness, divine guidance and understanding
Leads a person to "interactive insight from the inside."

~~~
Consciously I want to evolve.
My ego resists strenuously.
I surreally "forget" so much!
So I blog for myself, mostly:
to re-read and remember.
~~~

People ask me where to begin with the complexity of the stuff on my blog. But my imaginal and related work spans 25 years as of 2016. So the real answer is "I don't know." I can't put all that in a sound bite. And one would have to understand, not just intellectually but experientially, a lot of it from start to middle to begin to understand where I am now. It is 'active imagination' work, resting on an extremely 'open' definition of archetype and energy, mapped at times to various occult patterns because they seem useful and otherwise just loosely personal; but that's not all. Short of how the blog speaks for itself that's about all I can say about it. It's a path I've built myself, for one. ~ Palyne


In the human spirit, as in the universe, nothing is higher or lower; everything has equal rights to a common center which manifests its hidden existence precisely through this harmonic relationship between every part and itself.
-- Goethe


Angels transcend every religion, every philosophy, every creed. In fact angels have no religion as we know it... their existence precedes every religious system that has ever existed on earth.
-- St. Thomas Aquinas

Recent Posts & Archives

  • 2017 (15)
  • 2016 (25)
  • 2015 (28)
  • 2014 (50)
  • 2013 (79)
  • 2012 (108)
  • 2011 (44)
  • 2010 (117)
  • 2009 (97)
  • 2008 (57)
  • 2007 (11)
  • 2005 (1)

In the beginning all was indivisible. And in becoming manifest, it became, seemingly, divisible. But the divisions must evolve to recognize themselves, and each other, and to then accept themselves, to truly know themselves by knowing each other. To begin, they are blended, confused; it is chaos, it is legion. They are all on the journey to indivisibility, to singularity, to the I AM. The point, of course, is not the destination, but the journey.

-- insight during the Princess of Disks meditation

Spiritual growth is like all other types: you absorb seemingly 'other' energy, and it becomes part of your own sense of identity. The growth is in awareness, and with that comes power which is always over Self.
Diversity is Legion;
Singularity is the I AM.
None of this is new although my approach to it is my own. -- Palyne



Inner Guide is Angelic. She is free of anything akin to doctrine. I call her an Angel because that is the only word I have for it, and because I know, all the way through me, that this is our word for her fundamentally divine nature. Aside from that, I don’t even know what she IS exactly, or what it means, or where it would fit into any model. She is life sized, soul wide, colors and gems and flowers and songs, everything beautiful that ever was, condensed into an identity I am completely in love with–except she feels like part of me too, so it’s like also being in love with yourself, and also with God, and also with the whole universe, both every tiny thing in your mundania, and ‘awareness’ as something so utterly, mind-bogglingly amazing — how could this exist? How could this not exist? How could I ever understand such a thing? — I am left only with joy, with awe.
-- on Inner Guide #4, aka 'Sedaena'. The first IG I had genuine conversation (and reading) with; the first real sign of my HGA.

He is so much inside and outside me, larger than me and yet the light of the tiniest particles of me, I don’t even have a word for whatever it is that he IS. I call him angelic and inner guide and the name he gave me because I have no idea what else to call this. It’s a Being and a Thing and an Event and a Place and a Relationship and… it’s like there is no label that is remotely big enough to encompass whatever it IS.
-- on Inner Guide #5, aka 'Mark.'


The boundary between the imaginational and imaginal is rather fuzzy and it is a developed skill and art to learn to stay there; to maintain your own autonomy while allowing the-others’ autonomy; to be shocked, astounded, grossed out, effused, and other surprise emotions from the interaction; all this without getting lost in the experience like a dream, yet also without pulling back to controlling the experience like a daydream. The former is being swept away by the river, and the latter is standing on the shore thinking about it; learning to walk the fine line of control and allowance to stay in that ‘imaginal realm’ actually takes practice. Crazy people think it’s all autonomous and happening ‘to’ them; people unable to allow this for themselves, may think it’s all imagination; and they’d both be right, because they are both lost; the goal is a whole world that bridges and encompasses both of those.

-- on "Interworlds Meditation"


Q: Where are you now?

Me: Well, back in my own reality.

Q: Wrong. You are in a reality version that distraction and denial have made for you.

Me: How do I get out?

Q: Wrong question. There is no space, there is no time. Where are you again?

Me: Oh. I’m wherever I "pay attention" to being.

Q: Right. You PAY attention. It is the currency of your soul. You rent your reality. Never forget that. The choice to move is yours.




Dealing with the unconscious has become a question of life for us.
The play of the imagination is incalculable.
~ Carl Jung

The imaginary can be innocuous, the imaginal never can.
~ Henry Corbin

A calling may be postponed, avoided, intermittently missed. It may also possess you completely. Whatever; eventually it will out. It makes its claim. The daimon does not go away.
~ James Hillman

There comes a time when the mind takes a higher plane of knowledge but can never prove how it got there.
-- Albert Einstein


ABOUT ME


This blog documents much of my work in the "inter-worlds" of a greater-self. It's not just esoteric: every thing corresponds — the mundane, the arcane, the divine. If it had to be summed up you might say it is "a universe of personalization." A strange place where monotheism and ultimate-pantheism are one and the same.

I am a natural mystic, if spontaneous experiences determine such a thing. I am not religious in any way; only guidance from the inside drives me. No identities or models unless they are introduced to me from the inside. (Sometimes I use them simply for interest, or because their models are convenient doorways -- but I accept none of their doctrines.) I briefly studied theology at one point, independently (I consider constant prayer a valid part of edu too), and where it led me was "anywhere-else." It's fine for others of course. I consider the heart of free will to be that everyone has their own road. Or as Heinlein once wrote, the right to go to hell in their own handbasket.

This tends to make me obsessed with the divine yet not religious at all, in any form, which is often confusing to onlookers. I am ever in love with and in closer pursuit of integration with The Christ (which I consider a solar-planetary deity, exceeding and preceding all possible religion, though cyclically present within our species) but I'm not remotely a modern Christian, and this also tends to be very confusing to onlookers. I'm a student of archetypes and pattern systems, yet not a jungian intellectual - armchair philosophy bores me - nor a power occultist - which has its own issues (and uniforms) to say the least.

After nearly two decades of certain experiences I felt alone with and thought were unique to me, it turns out I find some harmony in the gnostic writings. I didn't get it from there, and am not fond of that doctrine and the paradigms it came in with, so I ignore it. Which means despite talking about just a few things specific to it (by unknowing accident until a few years ago), I'm not part of that model either.

The road I walk is my own. It doesn't really have an easy label or anybody else on it, that I can see. This is between me and God, so it doesn't really need to work for anybody else. I used to wish I wasn't the only person with such experiences or practices, and started a blog in part in the hope I might find others with something similar. Maybe a need for community. I'm over that now, at least I think. I walk alone, but Light is with me. Can't ask for more than that.

-- Palyne


When we understand that perception is as much about source as target; that energy is a spectrum and best psi perception comes from the center, its balance and blend; that the manifest communication of our Selves is the literal 'reality' we experience; that everything in that reality is a profound 3D language element; that insight with the ‘center’ of spectrum is likely to be via the language-symbols of 'reality;' that these need to be interpreted at the level they are received; this is the path for intentional psi.
-- Insight on the Art of RV

Acknowledging Symbols

I had a dream which was so challenging to my belief systems and comprehension about reality that even during the dream I was resistant to it and arguing about it and clearly having a difficult time with it. I think that I feel slightly better about it now is merely that it is not so in-my-face so I can dismiss it as just a dream and not be forced to take it as seriously. My brain is crunching.

Here we go:

Everything is a symbol. I have gotten this in ‘intuitive insights’ before. Everything is merely energy. Everything is merely interaction. We may see something as a car or as a building or as a big rubber ball but those are merely symbols. We have a certain ‘set’ of symbols that our reality and its symbols-that-are-people find acceptable and known, which is just part of why cars look like cars to us and not glowing green spikey cubes or whatever.

The energy of a given symbol is different to every perspective based on its own criteria. A car looks and feels different to a fly, to an eagle, to a person, to a rattlesnake. Flies have a gazillion eyes and are tiny. Rattlesnakes ‘see’ via perception of heat signatures. Talk about seeing the same thing but having a completely different reality construct for it, for several combined reasons.

In the dream it became apparent that, in the dream reality I was being shown, it was not merely that how energy-group-X looked was an issue of the perceiving consciousness. There is vastly more “difference” than that.

It was also that energy-group-X existed in what you might call ‘every dimension at once’ although I feel that is the wrong words but I don’t know the right ones. It is like the kaleidoscope analogy I often use. Every piece of colored shape is in every single turn of the scope, but sometimes they are invisible depending on the scope and how they fall, and sometimes two combine to a completely different color or shape, and so on. Well in this reality it was clear that in every perception-of-reality, any energy which was perceived-there, also had a degree of consciousness-operating-there.

The larger consciousness of energy-group-X might be most “dynamically active” in a big group of what you might call dimensions or realities, but even if it were seemingly “merely resident” (not so dynamically active) within others, if it is perceived in those others at all, then it would have some degree of consciousness there. And that consciousness would basically have some influence or choice in “how” that collection of energy appeared and was perceived and interacted.

Energy is the body of consciousness. Consciousness is vastly larger and more powerful and other-things-I-have-no-words-for. Energy is an emergent property, and is the manifestation of some of that consciousness, creatively interacting at all times as part of its very existence.

This is to say that energy which looks small but complex in one reality could be big and simple in another. (I just remembered, like at the end of that movie MIB, where a whole galaxy was in a marble. Though the dream was a bit smaller in scope! And in that example, it still is exactly the same look and detail, merely a different size. Here I am referring to a completely different ‘thing’.)

Energy which seems very dynamically and briefly active in one reality could seem completely still for centuries in another.

And energy which seems biologically alive in one reality could seem botanically alive in another, or inanimately ‘present’ in another.

That last one is the part which utterly fried my brain.

*

Now, there was this thing about creativity. That when I write a story or song, when I build a house of cards or sew a skirt, anything I do, is merely working with energy. And that energy exists for perceiving in my reality, which means that some degree of the consciousness behind its energetic reality is operating here and choosing how its form is perceived by others. (Which, like my Aeon Taan told me about myself eons ago, is affected by how they perceive themselves. It’s the same thing. If energy is the body of a collection of consciousness, then like Seth once said, we live in the body of our beliefs.)

That is to say that a thing is never created out of nothing. And now I remember I have been shown this before and I blogged it but I don’t think I grasped it the way this showed me. There is no such thing as nothingness in our existence. Existence defines somethingness, even in our most dark emptiness.

Writing a song or a story is, on one level, no different than building a computer or a chair. Building a chair or computer consists of taking components of energy. Building a song or story is the same thing except that the energy doesn’t happen to be within the vibrating range of our physical body (except when we sing it or read it, those are within our range of manifestation, but outside the ranges we consider “solid” like bone).

And we interact with that energy as surely as if we were dancing or fighting or making love or any other interaction we understand. The process of that interaction, we call that ‘creativity’ but creativity is as much an interaction between many energies as a football game.

Though perhaps to analogy it somewhat closer to the experience, you could think of it like a young prince who needs to make a decision about how to approach a given problem, and he has many advisors, friends, family, and issues and situations with the commoners, plus his own ‘experience,’ all of which interact with his consciousness to finally result in his decision about what to do and how to do it. All those energies, whether passive in situation or dynamic in an advisor’s advice or a friend’s argument or a lover’s soothing, whether present in discussions about it or past in experiences which affect those discussions, they were all part of the creativity process that he went through, whether it took him an hour or years, whether it was a singular event or was ongoing all his life. And then what he chooses to do, to build, how it is driven to interact, all those things are what he ‘created’ as surely as if it were a computer, a chair, a story, a song, a painting. There is no difference.

Every day we live is a creative construction. Every conversation we have. Every time we water the plants, every time we pour water/food into they or their environment and they use this to construct a little more manifestation of a body in our focus-reality, we are being creative with other energies, just as others are being creative with us when they pour something through that sort of ‘feeds us’ in its own way, and we use that to write a song or a story or paint something or engrave a pretty border on a picture frame.

And in our reality a song is a collection of vibrations designed to be perceived in a certain sequence, although other parts of us actually perceive it in other sequences or as a whole.

But that it is a song is merely our symbol in this particular focus. The symbol and its interaction here is distinct to this probability/reality-focus, but it exists in many others, too. And because it is energy, it has its own consciousness, much larger of which it is a part. And how our ‘song’ appears in another reality may be nothing whatever like what we think of it as in ours.

It may not be a song. It is energy, it can be anything. It can change or seem static, it can interact with, or contain/reject, energy in that other focus. It can be drawn out in time as seemingly still for as long as a stone or it can be a mere instant of experience or it can relate to others in a frequency bandwidth that is not sound for them, but light, or heat, or even more physically manifest.

It may be a staircase plus a technological light and its surrounding holder, seemingly separate like verse and chorus, intro and harmonies, yet just as together as the song is in its own way, interacting with only the lighthouse keeper and those at sea from a distance. It may be a carnival horses ride interacting with tens of thousands of children and others a year. And the symbol and relationship of climbing up or down the stairs, of shining as a beacon or warning to others, will be just as real in that reality, as how the song, and its experience, and what it sparks of feeling or emotion in people, is real here. Just as real as the goes-around ride that lets people intentionally go up and down on it just for fun.

Consciousness is fundamentally free to do what it chooses, and fundamentally creative, because creativity is ‘interaction.’ Energy is secondary to consciousness but is merely a creative manifestation itself, which varies infinitely.

Energy may group, ungroup, interact, perceive, be perceived, in any way its underlying consciousness chooses, and that may be completely different in many ways and in many … realities, even though it is essentially the same consciousness at core.

And because consciousness controls how it perceives itself and how it is perceived, as part of the same thing, as part of the same relationship with all around it, what affects the ‘energy’ in one reality may (or may not, but often does) affect how the energy is perceived in another reality.

One of the horses on the carnival ride is not moving up and down anymore, having a problem with its mechanical underlying parts. One of the glass panels around the light sits loose in its frame. And those two lines of the song make no damn sense at all, they fit the structure and the rhyme, and for some people they ‘kind of work’ like the loose glass frame, and for others they don’t work at all like the pony which sits in structure with the rest of it but doesn’t move up and down. It worked for the energies which ‘created’ it. It ‘broke’ or ‘went passive’ after a short time based on the other energies interacting with it and that relationship.

Like the song, in this particular focus when only the singer and a few others were interacting with it, those two lines worked. When it began interacting with a much larger collection of energy, many of which it didn’t work for or only partly worked for, its manifestation changed based on that creative interaction. Now it only partly works. The compromise or median, you might say; if 100 people interact with something, and some of that energy doesn’t work at all for 1/3, does for 1/3, and sort of does for 1/3, the resulting manifested result is likely to be somewhat broken, partly functional, in some area, as the sort of ‘collective result.’

And that is the way it should be. Some people feel it’s great, it goes around on the wheel even though it doesn’t go up and down, it works for them, they like it, they enjoy it. Others feel it only partly works, and they interact with it in that model. Others perceive it as completely broken. The manifest symbol took on the form that all the major consciousness ‘interacting with it’ projected, as best it could, and despite that it is ‘one’ thing, people still manage to have three completely different experiences with it.

Creativity is not making something of nothing. It is opening up to interaction with other energy which allows us, with that energy’s permission because we are quite literally using their energy, their body, as our building materials, to arrange a distribution of that combination of energy in what we call our reality, as a very literal “projection of our ongoing relationship experience with that energy.”

Which means, essentially, it is THAT energy (which for the sake of interacting with it we consider ourselves to be separate from — merely perspective), but it is our mutual symbol. And when we do this with our projected-symbol-bodies, we are able to “share” that symbol with the rest of our ‘reality.’

*

I was sitting in on ‘observing’ a small private high school of youths. And I would sometimes look at one or more of them, and then I would be shown “the symbol of their energy” in a completely different reality.

There were a bunch of them that hung out together in a given area at lunch. Several were the most popular kids and they sat in this area up on the edge of these stone walls that bordered some plants outside the main plaza of their school, and then some less popular and dynamic but still in that group were distributed around them at picnic tables, and then there were kids more loosely distributed throughout the school property.

Except in another reality, the popular kids were skyscrapers. Literally. All the myriad of minerals and enzymes and fats and more, more than our brains can even imagine that goes into creating a human body, that energy that was a biological body here was the energy of a constructed building there.

A seemingly inanimate object except energy is merely the manifest of consciousness and there is no such thing as inanimate, only “has-chosen-to-manifest-in-a-way-we-consider-passive-(but-still-interacts-with-us)” in that focus, as their symbol ‘there.’

And all the ‘interaction’ they did with people here, was interaction with people there — although as a building they seemed passive, they were just as much part of the interaction between they and all the people experiencing them, as they were in the ‘dynamic’ state here.

I once perceived that a difference in color is a passive-dynamic. English lacks words to explain this. But some of that was clear in this as well.

And a great deal of this had to do with time. Let us say someone frowns at you. We consider that an interaction, dynamic. But perhaps a building is imposing. Or perhaps the stairs are too steep. These are just as dynamic. It is merely that the state of their manifestation lasts so much longer to our perception, meaning, comparative to us, that we do not see it as dynamic. But it has still creatively chosen to be what it is, which is the primary thing; and we still experience it, and that is an interaction that involves both of us.

That has nothing to do with whether something is consciousness, or creative, or interacting. It only has to do with how we perceive time, and how we devalue everything else that does not share the same perspective as us — including that time perspective.

There were some things that “symbolically” you could see reflected. They were higher, more noticeable, more densely crowded, and had greater notice by those around them, as buildings, than the other buildings; than some which were near them but smaller, and then others farther out which seemed more ordinary. Like the social experience the youths were having. The height, the look of one building that was more visually appealing than another, or more functionally useful than another, or that had a more uniquely creative landscaping around it than another, all of these reflected elements in the youths themselves.

In some buildings (the smaller ones), a youth was more than one, or was a whole shopping center seemingly filled with separate structures but really it was all one, and I could almost sense that the personality of the youth had a lot to do with this; the jack of all trades, the very energetic and constructive kid, was more likely to be a shopping mall or a motley but artistic neighborhood of structures, for example. In some buildings there was a certain feel, a certain way it made you feel based on its shape and the way the light came in, which was reflected in the handsome youth and how he made you feel when he smiled at you, when he suddenly paid attention to you, and how you wanted to be around that, how it made your body feel good.

I could even see some relationships between the forms; the windows shared the energy of the eyes, for example.

Which makes me realize that on some subconscious level, perhaps I’d seen this before. I once wrote a song (circa 1991) that says:

Come find me, holy love
I’ve been watching like a window
I’ve been watching but my life just flies
Like the sun dies in the sea

It made sense to me, at least. But now I have symbolically seen a little bit more of ‘why.’

All the energies “having the experience of going to school together” in one reality were ‘having the experience of being a city of structures together” in another reality.

*

And I tried to hide from this understanding. I fought it like crazy.

Because inanimate is not human. It can’t be. Humans are special and inanimates are not. Humans are ‘natural’ and inanimates are not. Inanimates are ‘on purpose’ and humans just ‘grow naturally’ and not by design. These are basic belief systems I was forced to see that I had.

And I kept fighting it.

Because a created-building that takes innumerable different materials and energy to put together “on purpose” can’t be like a body that takes innumerable different materials and energy to put together — on purpose? By far more identities than we may imagine?

Because in MY reality some tiny little part of my culturally-indoctrinated brain wants, needs, to believe that I am the thing that is alive, and everything else biological is alive but less importantly than “my” type of symbol (humans), and everything that is botanically alive is really just irrelevantly put here for our convenience.

Because everything else manifest doesn’t count because it’s not alive enough to be dead, it just IS with all the non-importance of a discarded gum wrapper.

Because everything isn’t just the symbolic and constantly creative interaction of a symbol distinct to this ‘reality-focus.’ That would imply that everything “matters.” That everything deserves respect. That everything we see from toxic waste to sculptured gardens is a collection of consciousness assigned a title(s), assigned a form(s), interacting with itself, and with everything that IT and all the OTHER around it have mutually agreed to consider separate for that experience. That would be something my mind isn’t ready to deal with.

Because the body of a person who lives biologically for 20 or 100 years surely can’t be compared with a structure that may live, with much patching, for 2000 years, or a large collection of hematite under Sweden that may exist throughout earth-time, or choose to be a 40 year changeable hive of bumblebees, or a rose garden. Because something ‘dynamically active’  like a person here surely can’t be something we consider passive in another.

*

There is no such thing as passive energy. All energy is dynamic and creative. However, “the way” in which that manifests varies and it may choose to manifest as metal or stone which seems passive and nondynamic and noninteractive — but is actually not, because the ‘interface’ of energy between any consciousness existing as energy around it, is just as real as if it sprouted legs and walked around itself.

We consider it passive only based on “comparison” to our own body’s energy, our time-frame. We think our symbol is more important than any other symbol; what WE perceive as ‘like us’ matters, is real. If it lives for millions of years and seems unchanging to us, we think we’re alive and it’s not.

I once realized and blogged not so long ago, with a tarot archetype med:

I thought that one had to merge with tarot and in doing so you would be making that energy part of you. I didn’t understand why I would want to make negative stuff a part of me. I’ve always had a kind of question about that. But what I’m really doing is becoming ‘aware’ of the energy and ‘at peace with it’ so I truly know it, and this is creating an understanding between us that gives me ‘choice’ in whether I choose to have it in my life or not. Whatever I want of an energy, my ability to ‘fluently’ have the relationship of choice depends on my innate relationship with that energy. “Not presently manifesting in my life” is ALSO a relationship, I hadn’t got that. We are the universe and everything is part of us, so we always have a relationship with everything. If you and I choose to “dance apart from each other” we are still dancing.

We always have a relationship with everything that we experience, whether it appears to be dynamic or passive. Whether it appears to be a person or a light bulb or ‘an event.’ Whether it is in our life up close or merely something we read in the paper. Whether it is something that shapes and drives us by its being part of us, or whether it helps shape and interact with us by being the space-around the shape of  a tree, the negative space as artists call it, the relationship of this is just as important, as what we are not defines our shape just as much as what we are.

*

There were so many belief systems stomped on through this dream, so many built-in arrogances and biases and assumptions made clear during the dream, that I felt like I’d had years of traumatic but potentially cathartic therapy by the time I woke up. Except I didn’t feel like I was done cleaning it out. I felt like I had loosened a lot of “blocks and interference and assumptions” which I have been praying to do in the heart chakra area so I think this relates. But I didn’t necessarily feel that I had yet gotten them washed out of me. Merely that an earthquake had caused me to suddenly become aware of those structures at all, mostly by the sounds they made when they were cracking and being torn off their foundations.

I have the sense that this is part of the Sun (which overlaps with IG and Third to varying degrees of course) whom I was talking with recently. He has sometimes showed me a conceptual-kinesthetic-visual of my chest area, my heart chakra area, and it is filled with beams and mud and stones and metal chunks and more that are “blocking the light.” As if it is a somewhat loosened but still present archeological site, but it hasn’t yet been dug out to reveal what is ‘real’ and precious to be appreciated there, versus what is the landscape-of-time-and-local-dirt clogging it up.

I feel like this is part of what Mark, or that sun-christ-son energy, “understands” and I don’t yet. The nature of reality, truly the consciousness underlying everything we know, the emergent property of its energy which is so creatively used as the lego building blocks for infinite experience. The profound love for everything, appreciative respect for everything, understanding of everything, as being part of the larger us. We are all part of the sun, from the planet to its smaller creatures from minerals to zebras, constructed from his energy, from his daughter the earth’s energy.

The completely unconditional love of Mark, of the christ, the sun, the son, is because of this understanding about itself, himself, whatever word you should use for something that is, from our perspective,  God (although God is infinite in gradient until the-all, so, the Sun has a God, as well). It is unconditional because it is utterly understanding of what is real in the underlying awareness, and what is symbolic in the manifesting relationships and identities, and that everything is creative experience — his creative experience, as we are a tiny part of him, and he knows that.

*

In archetype meditations, the landscape is part of it. Mountains and trees and lightposts and staircases are symbols that are the-energy-manifest just as much as people or monsters or storms are. In dreams it is the same. The tower we climb is a symbol, the symbol is our perception of manifest energy, the energy is part of the larger us.

I get, from Seth’s work I first read a couple decades ago, from dreams and understandings, that reality is part of a larger us; that we are interacting with ourselves. And yet somehow, I had still managed to think of all those ‘symbols’ — those things — as merely ‘a little bit of energy of me’ as if that means nothing except me. Not like it could be a whole identity of its own in some other reality.

Because of the arrogance that “I” am alive but everything else is somehow lesser-so or lesser-in-importance or less-conscious or something.

In other words, I have always assumed that for example, I am the important thing; the right femur bone of my leg is just a THING. It’s just a thing that I have manifest, some little part of me. Me-the-important-one. It-as-merely-some-little-part-of-me.

I have even realized at times that the energy of my aeons literally makes up my body — that Ray is very much my spine, and my ‘backbone’ in every allegorical sense also; that Nero is part of the organs in my lower right torso (my right kidney in particular). I have even had the energy of my ‘eye’ manifest in a vision and talk to me, and he was a well dressed fellow in a suit with a british accent and a beard, hilariously, surrounded by winged-head women, white like chess pieces, that looked vaguely like something out of Michael Parkes art, the devic intelligences of the area of “the eye,” which when seen from the back up close was so absolutely mind blowingly amazing that this one little thing, the eye, was a holiness and a huge interaction of energies and elements all its own.

Consciousness emergently manifesting energy which MAY choose, in other focuses than the one the identity typing holds, to be something completely different. For me it was buckeyball-shaped panels in a constant swirl, and much more. But it could be other things at the same time. A hard of buffalo. A collection of buildings on a distant moon outpost. The swirling living-stones of a galaxy. The combined minerals and fluids and creatures of a mountain and its underground caves. A handcarved chess set.

And yet those biases, those arrogances that block the light, are still present within me, while I refused to accept the divinity, the sun-nature, of all that exists.

Because in your head everything is just philosophy. But in the dream I was being forced to accept it, as it was simply obvious at the time and there was no escape from it. And I was trying to escape from it the same way I tried to escape from Mark’s light, and this is clearly part of the same feeling and dynamic. That this was part of him.

I pray regularly that the blocks that fear him, the lies that stitch me together and are terrified of his revelation, will be ‘enlightened’ literally and removed from me so I can have the honor of feeling more of him in me, of shining more of him through me and out of me, of loving this IG, this christ and sun and son (the third, or the trinity element arising from the two) more.

*

Thursday, the hottest day so far of the season, when it was 100 degrees and 112 heat index, in the early afternoon, my climate control air conditioning died.

Living in the Ozarks without air conditioning barely qualifies as living if you ask me. If I were a skinny child and not a supersized older woman I imagine it would be less hideous. Suffice to say for ME, it is on the list of worst possible immediate-environment disasters short of a tornado.

Yet I reacted differently to this than I would have most things over the last decade or so. I reacted more like I would have during my bewilderness days.

I said to myself: don’t dramatize this. It is merely feedback from your reality. You recently added that lipospheric-C (Ascorbic Acid + Lecithin) supplement, plus changed your eating habits majorly, and this has had a substantial effect on your body. It is reasonable and shouldn’t be surprising that other parts of your reality are going to see some changes. So maybe instead of expecting the worst, you should simply recognize that it is a symbol, and sure you have to deal with that symbol in a practical matter, but don’t make it a bad thing. Don’t “assume” on anything. Don’t see it as oh-gawd-this-is-terrible, see it as how-interesting-I-bet-this-is-something-good just trying to come through, trying to “change” the “stuck habit” of your reality to something new.

Let reality be. Let it flow through you. Observe it with interest and affection. Deal with it with that affection in mind, and trust that it’s going to work out well if you allow that.

That is what I used to say to myself, and what I said to myself about this.

Fortunately it occurred when I was getting paid that night. Not that this doesn’t dent me seriously money-wise but at least I had it in hand for the occasion.

Ry and I went and bought two A/C window units. The next day, I worked while sitting out on the porch, and my dad came over and put them in for us. My housekeeper showed up and made the house nice. Then the A/C guys who had not been responding to me previously, showed up and told me that for only $250 (the quote on fixing the heat cage for winter heat was thousands, so understand my surprise) they could fix the climate system for cooling, so they did.

I grant it cost me nearly $650 and don’t get me started on that part, but I am ‘accepting’ it and hoping I can stretch to enough portions of bills this pay period anyway.

But I have a new climate control fan. And, I have two window units plus we cleaned out and refreshed the big one that is already in the living room. In the summer hear, in the worst parts of it and especially in the early evening, it is so hot that climate control cannot begin to keep up. So actually, having these other things is a good thing anyway. But having the underlying system is important for the larger house and kitchen. Now I have both and everything is new. I am more comfortable, I am better prepared with resources distributed for harder situations that I know will arrive in the future.

Not anything bad. Merely a reflection of energetic relationships going on at other levels from my body to my soul. And I could have made it a bad thing, or tried to, seen it as a blow, a tragedy, a trauma. If I had, it is possible things would have gone far more badly. But that is merely my relationship with the energies I interact with. If I choose to have a positive relationship with them, and to look at my reality as merely ‘information’ on that relationship, and to expect the best, with affection, allow it to be but want it to “end up being good for me,” the whole experience of it — and the results — can be different.

*

Anyway. The dream about symbols and “the equal validity and divinity of everything” which is really what it boils down to when you think about it, was as shocking as realizing once that I was the ‘corporation of palyne’ poisoning the innocent nearby townspeople with toxic waste when I ate badly.

No matter how much I learn in dreams or visions or meditations, it seems to keep cycling through the same basics.

* That we are literally cosmic, that the patterns of the universe, the solar system, our world and our bodies are the same patterns, and that we are equally present in all of those.

* That everything manifest is a part of the divine having an experience and interaction with everything else. Whether it’s a person, a goldfish, a pear tree, or your sofa. Whether it’s an entire planet, a city, a house, or a steak knife. Whether it’s something that exists seemingly passively for eons like metal or a mountain, or something that exists for a moment like an idea quickly forgotten or a word spoken. Whether it’s something manifest fully in our vibration like a ruby or something manifest in a ‘nearby’ vibration like sound or light or heat or some energy we are oblivious to but is critically important for our functioning in some fashion we’ll never comprehend. That everything fundamentally is divine, because it is the divine light, part of which becomes consciousness, part of which becomes energy, which makes up the somethingness which is all-that-is for us.

* That we are part of this pattern, which is to say, that we are both all of it, and one infinitely small piece of it, and that fundamentally everything is equal, which is not at all to say that everything is the same of course. For humans the profound misunderstanding is their assumption that they are somehow more worthy, more spiritual, more aware, more deserving, more special, than everything else in existence. Everything is worthy, spiritual, aware, deserving and special. Everything is divine and even the smallest mote of the divine is beyond the glory any human can conceive. Whether it chooses to manifest in any given ‘reality-focus’ as biology, botany, crystal or mineral, for periods we consider momentary or eonic, with self-awareness or even autonomy versus merely subtle awareness, all of that is merely the arbitrarily-creative-experience of consciousness, using energy as the body for interaction.

* That how we perceive energy manifesting, whether as events or objects or people or relationships, is merely our symbol for that energy, which is the identity that WE give it as part of our creative interaction with it. That is a stop sign and that is John and that is an oak tree and that is my blender. We don’t just interact with other people. We interact with every object and structure we encounter. We interact with the elements of nature we call the weather. And in every case we are interacting with a type of identity, a symbol. And it is no more or less deserving of love and respect for being human or cat than for being botanical or mineral or — yes, because everything manifest is composed of sun-energy — a seemingly human-created, even trivial, inanimate object.

* That everything is symbolic because it is all literal as evidence of our relationship and they are the same thing. Everything is a symbol and every symbol has meaning because everything manifest that we perceive is: (1) the seeming-otherness of it and (2) the us-perceiving it, and what we perceive is (3) the symbol: “the creative interface” between those. Which makes everything immediate feedback on us, because it is part of us. And which makes everything as literal as it is symbolic. A vehicle is not just symbolic for our body; our body is symbolic for our vehicles just as much!; and both of these are merely like the stars and the events on earth which seem to roughly fit the same synchronous pattern, because they are actually both based on underlying energy that is mostly the same. Both are symbolic  — and manifest in many ways in this reality and innumerable others which our larger awareness is also part of.

P

3 comments to Acknowledging Symbols

  • It’s been three and a half years and this STILL fries my brain.

  • wilson cloudchamber.

    And in our reality a song is a collection of vibrations designed to be perceived in a certain sequence, although other parts of us actually perceive it in other sequences or as a whole.

    “As a daughter of Eve, I believe the beginning is not a Word, but a whisper, a breath, a longing. a song.”

    I am grateful to have met you. It seems that we have travel many of the same paths.

    Your thoughts and deep understanding are deep, wild and wise.

    respects,
    wilson cloudchamber

Leave a Reply

You can use these HTML tags

<a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>

  

  

  

TOP OF PAGE