I had been watching “universe” videos on youtube before I fell asleep — they give me eye strain and knock me out, but they’re lovely. Actually prior to that I was watching the first episode of “The Event” on hulu.com but about halfway through I thought, you know, this suspense, where is my focus? I felt like at that moment, my focus needed to be on something more positive and more personal. I could finish watching that later. So I shifted to ‘the power of 10′ on youtube and it turns out there have been other videos made with the same name that are not the same as the original video that did that, but they are all kinda cool. Then I watched some galaxy vids and a hubble universe vid and passed out.
Happily, though. I felt peaceful and it was very nice. This morning I found a couple of pics I would love to get in framed photo or poster form. check these out! I was looking, in specific, for pictures of our galaxy and solar system. These are the faves I found:
http://apod.nasa.gov/apod/image/0907/devilstower_pacholka_big.jpg
http://apod.nasa.gov/apod/image/0902/MKMilkyWaypan_pacholka_600WPAP.jpg
http://apod.nasa.gov/apod/ap100519.html
http://images.cdn.fotopedia.com/flickr-2818891443-original.jpg
I had the first lucid dream I’ve had in a long time last night. Although this was nightly–and easily intentional if I chose–as a child, it got suddenly rare around age 18 when I realized it wasn’t normal for everyone else, and has gotten more rare as I have aged. I sometimes have wondered if lucidity and the content of the dream in question matter, or if those two topics are completely unrelated. I think they are unrelated.
This lucid dream seemed hard to see any significance in. I was around my sister who was also someone I didn’t know, and her husband, who was also a boyfriend of the woman I didn’t know and also wasn’t-there. She wanted to have dinner and use my car so I was trying to work out food first so I could then give her the car. I tried to search for any restaurants, and then narrowed it to pizza places in her town on google but I kept getting back the most bizarre and unrelated results. Then I tried the phone book but had similar problems. I didn’t get it (in the old days, I’d have just been lucid right up front, but that definitely would have clued me in if I weren’t), but then I found myself in some kind of food place.
There was this man there, younger than me I think, who worked there and had a fight with the boss and got fired. He was leaving, and I wanted to know him, to follow up with him. I jumped up and went to him and said, hang on, I want to give you my phone number, I don’t want to lose you. But no amount of pen, pencil, paper and other writing surfaces, could result in my proper number getting written down.
Finally I said in exasperation, “This can’t be right. This just cannot be this hard!” and I realized the problem was text that changed, which made me realize: That’s the problem in lucid dreams, that’s the clue. I thought, is this a dream? How do I test it? There was writing across the glass door of the restaurant. So I focused on it, read it carefully and slowly all the way across, then looked away, then looked back, and read it again. I did this several times and each time it had somewhat changed.
Then I thought, ok, so this is a lucid dream. Er… now what?? I don’t recall being that useless when younger either, haha.
I went back to the guy and told him, sorry, I can’t give you my number because this is a lucid dream and text won’t stay still. I don’t remember anything else after that. How sadly pointless and mundane, after not being lucid for so long! Funny though.
***
Humor: after writing that I thought: maybe dyslexics are just people who cannot wake up in this dream.
***
I’m still a little resistant to the ‘my body, the universe’ concept from the recent post. How can it be possible that any person’s soul, let alone body, is composed of, or even more than an infinitesimal spec in, the universe? Now if the messages from ‘inside’ told me that I was part of the solar system I guess that would make at least slightly more sense. Perhaps even the galaxy, though that would seem a bit wide ranging in size, sheesh.
But the universe? Hello? There are an estimated 500 galaxies in the universe at last German supercomputer count, and there are 200-400 billion stars estimated for the Milky Way galaxy alone! Now I don’t mean to be picky, or maybe I do, but the sheer staggering quantity and size here has me a little confused. I just don’t get how that is possible. At all. Frankly it sounds ridiculous.
OK so if Venus and Mars energy is … associated with, or something… my ankles (and likely other areas as well) in my body, that’s fine I guess, but if this is some kind of mapping, I would need a body about a quatrillion times as large to make room for even the stars in my galaxy never mind the universe.
Some inner explanation while I typed the above was explaining it’s not as separate as it seems. Like how in quantum physics, once one particle mates with another, they are never truly separated again, even though they may be physically separated, still they both act/react in tandem as if they are still one. Maybe somehow they really *are* still one.
Maybe the ‘big bang’ or something like it is real but everything is really just ‘one with’ some component of that originally, perhaps small thing. The universe is expanding. And has been since long before we were around. Maybe there is actually a surprisingly limited number of ‘major’ energies. And everything else is a ‘variant within’ that, because it is ‘one with’ one of those, even though it seems separate, like the physics particles.
The issue is not how limited the universe is, but how unlimited you are, I’m told from inside, now.
But how can I have anything to do with the whole universe?
The pattern of the whole is found in even the smallest part.
So it’s holographic. But I couldn’t possibly act out or be a pattern that big.
Size is linear to you, but it is not so at a more fundamental level. It is simply a property, a quality, from other reference points.
Hmmn. Like my cat’s cat-ness was a property of the energy to the Private Oracle.
(I realize that at least some of who is talking to me IS the PO and feel a little dense for not realizing this sooner.)
I get that perhaps the energy of the solar system, in some way I don’t yet grok, could be represented within my body. But why Venus and Mars? Why not… Betelgeuse or some star from a distant galaxy?
The parts of the universe you perceive as most close to you, are perceived that way for a reason. These ‘instances’ of that energy are those with which you have the most intense relationship. So this is what you will recognize, and be able to work with, as the energies of your body. The same energy is present throughout the universe, but you have no conscious relationship with ‘the rest of the universe’, so it is best to model things on your solar system. That does not make that limit a truth; it just makes it a good model.
How does my greater understanding of myself as literally ‘being’ the universe, assist my evolution or awareness?
Think of the universe as a painting. The more of this painting you are aware of being, the better you are bonded with each bit of canvas and color, the more ‘shared energy’ from ‘the bigger picture’ you have access to.
Thanks. So… I’d have more energy. But you know, I’ve been merging all over the place with my Aeons, and recently three ‘Largers’ as I call them, and don’t feel like I am more powerful now. OK, maybe I kind of do. But still, I feel a little more stressed, as if I’m carrying some heavier burden in a way.
You are familiar with the phrase ‘with power comes responsibility.’ This responsibility is not limited to social issues. In a larger sense, a person who embodies ‘responsible’ is implied to be a stronger structure, something which is capable of support of more than just itself. When you perceive self-discipline as a trivial daily habit, responsibility as merely a burden, you don’t see that it is the groundwork for the “infrastructure” which maintains your power and strength. These are your words and model, and are not entirely accurate, but you get the idea.
Yeah, thanks.
You feel stressed because you are bringing in more bonds, more power, than your infrastructure is comfortable carrying.
So… what happens then?
Either you will turn away from this focus, similar to cognitive dissonance, and release some degree of the bonds you have made, or you will step up to the demands required for more carrying capacity, you might say.
You’re saying I will get my act together with eating decently and exercising so I am physically more healthy? With my work and kid and sleep schedule so I have more consistent dedicated time for meditation/prayer? That kind of thing, that the 3rd leans on me about?
Yes. That is not the limit of it, but those are the most obvious things inhibiting you. When you suddenly don’t feel like meditating, or abreactions distract you, or sometimes even when you simply have a hard time ‘dealing with’ the content of your meditations, or perceiving something at all, often this is because your energy body is simply not up to the task of new absorption.
But why is my energy body affected by my physical body?
It is enough to know that it is.
OK.
Your physical body is affected by your energetic body as well. They are both under stress. If you are going to improve your awareness in this way, you need to improve in other ways as well. Stress is merely the warning sign of gradual overload. Deal with that or you will either lose the awareness or break the structure, which could mean serious illness, physical or psychological (they are the same). You are already seeing signs of this.
You mean since I met three of the Largers, and got a whole smorgasbord of bizarre physical pains, symptoms, and even verging into some mental oddities, like how I perceived my ankle, and the dark cynical stuff. And that I have physically aged in the last couple of months, really visually particularly on the face which I associate with identity so I guess that makes sense — which seems quite out of proportion to the rest of ‘time’. So perhaps their inherent energy is much greater than I realized and having a stronger effect on me.
Definitely. You need to work with your Aeons more. They literally are your infrastructure, since we are using that term as a model. What you can absorb of what you call the Largers, is going to depend on how well bonded, integrated, you are with your Aeons. And other models you also use — the tarot, the solar system — and other models you have considered, such as the Elements, and the parts of your body — and some others you haven’t encountered yet. They will all be helpful.
Can you tell me what those others are?
Get a handle on what you have, and IG will introduce you to these things. You don’t have the mental framework to understand it now.
OK.
You need to invest a bit more effort into your physical life–into your body, your surroundings, your physical movement, your emotional movement. Increasing your meditation, and making it more consistent, that is a good thing, but you need the balance and strength that the other things will provide.
Are you actually telling me to “get a life?!”
Yes.
*
Well there you have it.
P
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