I have found that:
  • → sincere prayer
  • → genuine intentions
  • → present-focus
  • → extended humor
  • → careful integrity
  • → constant work to discover and release all forms of bias in oneself
  • → dogged effort to pursue awareness, divine guidance and understanding
Leads a person to "interactive insight from the inside."

Consciously I want to evolve.
My ego resists strenuously.
I surreally "forget" so much!
So I blog for myself, mostly:
to re-read and remember.

People ask me where to begin with the complexity of the stuff on my blog. But my imaginal and related work spans 25 years as of 2016. So the real answer is "I don't know." I can't put all that in a sound bite. And one would have to understand, not just intellectually but experientially, a lot of it from start to middle to begin to understand where I am now. It is 'active imagination' work, resting on an extremely 'open' definition of archetype and energy, mapped at times to various occult patterns because they seem useful and otherwise just loosely personal; but that's not all. Short of how the blog speaks for itself that's about all I can say about it. It's a path I've built myself, for one. ~ Palyne

In the human spirit, as in the universe, nothing is higher or lower; everything has equal rights to a common center which manifests its hidden existence precisely through this harmonic relationship between every part and itself.
-- Goethe

Angels transcend every religion, every philosophy, every creed. In fact angels have no religion as we know it... their existence precedes every religious system that has ever existed on earth.
-- St. Thomas Aquinas

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In the beginning all was indivisible. And in becoming manifest, it became, seemingly, divisible. But the divisions must evolve to recognize themselves, and each other, and to then accept themselves, to truly know themselves by knowing each other. To begin, they are blended, confused; it is chaos, it is legion. They are all on the journey to indivisibility, to singularity, to the I AM. The point, of course, is not the destination, but the journey.

-- insight during the Princess of Disks meditation

Spiritual growth is like all other types: you absorb seemingly 'other' energy, and it becomes part of your own sense of identity. The growth is in awareness, and with that comes power which is always over Self.
Diversity is Legion;
Singularity is the I AM.
None of this is new although my approach to it is my own. -- Palyne

Inner Guide is Angelic. She is free of anything akin to doctrine. I call her an Angel because that is the only word I have for it, and because I know, all the way through me, that this is our word for her fundamentally divine nature. Aside from that, I don’t even know what she IS exactly, or what it means, or where it would fit into any model. She is life sized, soul wide, colors and gems and flowers and songs, everything beautiful that ever was, condensed into an identity I am completely in love with–except she feels like part of me too, so it’s like also being in love with yourself, and also with God, and also with the whole universe, both every tiny thing in your mundania, and ‘awareness’ as something so utterly, mind-bogglingly amazing — how could this exist? How could this not exist? How could I ever understand such a thing? — I am left only with joy, with awe.
-- on Inner Guide #4, aka 'Sedaena'. The first IG I had genuine conversation (and reading) with; the first real sign of my HGA.

He is so much inside and outside me, larger than me and yet the light of the tiniest particles of me, I don’t even have a word for whatever it is that he IS. I call him angelic and inner guide and the name he gave me because I have no idea what else to call this. It’s a Being and a Thing and an Event and a Place and a Relationship and… it’s like there is no label that is remotely big enough to encompass whatever it IS.
-- on Inner Guide #5, aka 'Mark.'

The boundary between the imaginational and imaginal is rather fuzzy and it is a developed skill and art to learn to stay there; to maintain your own autonomy while allowing the-others’ autonomy; to be shocked, astounded, grossed out, effused, and other surprise emotions from the interaction; all this without getting lost in the experience like a dream, yet also without pulling back to controlling the experience like a daydream. The former is being swept away by the river, and the latter is standing on the shore thinking about it; learning to walk the fine line of control and allowance to stay in that ‘imaginal realm’ actually takes practice. Crazy people think it’s all autonomous and happening ‘to’ them; people unable to allow this for themselves, may think it’s all imagination; and they’d both be right, because they are both lost; the goal is a whole world that bridges and encompasses both of those.

-- on "Interworlds Meditation"

Q: Where are you now?

Me: Well, back in my own reality.

Q: Wrong. You are in a reality version that distraction and denial have made for you.

Me: How do I get out?

Q: Wrong question. There is no space, there is no time. Where are you again?

Me: Oh. I’m wherever I "pay attention" to being.

Q: Right. You PAY attention. It is the currency of your soul. You rent your reality. Never forget that. The choice to move is yours.

Dealing with the unconscious has become a question of life for us.
The play of the imagination is incalculable.
~ Carl Jung

The imaginary can be innocuous, the imaginal never can.
~ Henry Corbin

A calling may be postponed, avoided, intermittently missed. It may also possess you completely. Whatever; eventually it will out. It makes its claim. The daimon does not go away.
~ James Hillman

There comes a time when the mind takes a higher plane of knowledge but can never prove how it got there.
-- Albert Einstein


This blog documents much of my work in the "inter-worlds" of a greater-self. It's not just esoteric: every thing corresponds — the mundane, the arcane, the divine. If it had to be summed up you might say it is "a universe of personalization." A strange place where monotheism and ultimate-pantheism are one and the same.

I am a natural mystic, if spontaneous experiences determine such a thing. I am not religious in any way; only guidance from the inside drives me. No identities or models unless they are introduced to me from the inside. (Sometimes I use them simply for interest, or because their models are convenient doorways -- but I accept none of their doctrines.) I briefly studied theology at one point, independently (I consider constant prayer a valid part of edu too), and where it led me was "anywhere-else." It's fine for others of course. I consider the heart of free will to be that everyone has their own road. Or as Heinlein once wrote, the right to go to hell in their own handbasket.

This tends to make me obsessed with the divine yet not religious at all, in any form, which is often confusing to onlookers. I am ever in love with and in closer pursuit of integration with The Christ (which I consider a solar-planetary deity, exceeding and preceding all possible religion, though cyclically present within our species) but I'm not remotely a modern Christian, and this also tends to be very confusing to onlookers. I'm a student of archetypes and pattern systems, yet not a jungian intellectual - armchair philosophy bores me - nor a power occultist - which has its own issues (and uniforms) to say the least.

After nearly two decades of certain experiences I felt alone with and thought were unique to me, it turns out I find some harmony in the gnostic writings. I didn't get it from there, and am not fond of that doctrine and the paradigms it came in with, so I ignore it. Which means despite talking about just a few things specific to it (by unknowing accident until a few years ago), I'm not part of that model either.

The road I walk is my own. It doesn't really have an easy label or anybody else on it, that I can see. This is between me and God, so it doesn't really need to work for anybody else. I used to wish I wasn't the only person with such experiences or practices, and started a blog in part in the hope I might find others with something similar. Maybe a need for community. I'm over that now, at least I think. I walk alone, but Light is with me. Can't ask for more than that.

-- Palyne

When we understand that perception is as much about source as target; that energy is a spectrum and best psi perception comes from the center, its balance and blend; that the manifest communication of our Selves is the literal 'reality' we experience; that everything in that reality is a profound 3D language element; that insight with the ‘center’ of spectrum is likely to be via the language-symbols of 'reality;' that these need to be interpreted at the level they are received; this is the path for intentional psi.
-- Insight on the Art of RV

Tarot Dreaming of The Magus

Thoth Tarot Trumps I The Magus

I was in the middle of a dream where I was talking with someone about a certain energy. It was many things at once including a number and a tarot card and so on. I looked at the card. A male human was on it, with a sense of being a ‘crucifixion’-“style” pose and something about the legs or feet slightly crossed. It was dominantly yellows with the other dominant color being greens. Then I thought to myself, “Hey, you’re dreaming about a tarot card! This is important, you gotta remember this!” and I was awake. Nice bit of lucidity alarm clock.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Tarot Dreaming of The Magus

Notes to Self, 29-Mar-2012

So me and Ith are doing this and I end up imagining ‘all the blocks we have’ in a circle around us, that went above our heads and below our feet and up the sides. Although I was completely oblivious consciously to this color at the time, I realized later, and even still I feel it, that the big perfect circle shape was a medium-blue (and I feel that I felt it then, just wasn’t paying attention). … When people marry with fierce attraction and later have none, might it be that they ‘successfully integrated’? So the chemistry between them is gone? They might as well be siblings then. … Lately I have to almost be careful what I think about. In my head is quiet “intuition conversation” about anything, as well as everything from ‘shapes’ that translate to meaning to actual visuals and concepts. … I’ve just reinvented some a combination of the celtic circle cross, the masonic/occult rose cross, and the native american zia (‘four-rayed sun’). …

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Notes to Self, 29-Mar-2012

The Cosmic Egg (blames the cosmic chicken)

The Evolution of Cosmic Identities of Illinois Avenue

Thought for the day: When we have an issue, how come? How did I get to the point of suffering from issue-X? … Exactly how often does some larger-me have to be how many kinds of bonehead to work through this energy to ‘evolve’? In short: Must we assume that every energy imperfection we discover now, means we were a bonehead in this or some other life? Is it the chicken or the egg? Where did the bonehead-energy come into us and why?

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at The Cosmic Egg (blames the cosmic chicken)

Exxon in the Body and the Shield for Medusa

“Put it in front of me so I can’t miss it,” I tell the insiders. “Some lesser-problem that represents energy I have a serious issue with elsewhere, that I might better use some other facet/version of the same energy to work on.”

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Exxon in the Body and the Shield for Medusa

4th in the 1st World

So for a long time I’ve mentioned and observed how integrating the energy of the Senior is my biggest challenge. Senior’s world in tarot is Wands, so Knight of Wands was apparently the worst 6-month meditation of all time because it was his energy in his world, no less. This weekend I wasn’t doing much constructive physically so now and then I did blog stuff. And in looking at tarot stuff I thought to myself, “Well on the bright side, I’m working through it. I mean, I did the Princess of Wands meditation and –” Wait a minute … I did the Disks all the way up to the Princess. And I did the Wands from Knight down to Prince. Guess what the next card up was? The card actually sitting out for months and months now? I had taken out both Princess cards and did the Disks. And then… I quit meditating regularly ENTIRELY. … Just as an incredible coincidence, Princess of Wands would be, in theory, the big “crux” card of that issue.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at 4th in the 1st World

Accidental Religion: Meditation Paradigms

Maybe the altered state requirement is not a requirement, but a crutch that I have insisted upon as some kind of excuse, fearing analytical overlay even in meditations. … Maybe it is also a bit of a creating a ‘separate’ world that makes it ok, … Is there really no definition in the inner world, it’s anything your mind can wrap around, and that’s ok? … Aeons: It is part of your need to feel in control, although this is not unexpected. Your conscious mind does expect things to be coherent and consistent by its standards. But you have a lot of extra resistance beyond that.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Accidental Religion: Meditation Paradigms

Konewa Turi the Kundalini

I had the impression (this could be wrong) that this was one name of one chakra and yet that it was in two parts because it represented a duality, with the 2nd part being the receptive or feminine element. I hope I didn’t mess that up, it was a subtlety. I said it out loud several times, to ‘feel’ if he/she/they/it would ‘respond’ to that, felt ok with it, and I felt as if there was an answering recognition in that part of my energy body in a way, as if they did. Boy we really need gender words that cover “both” and “neither” in our language.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Konewa Turi the Kundalini

Viru and Maal

I notice barbershop quartet music somewhere, and I think, that is a rather different time period, is it not?? But then I’m distracted by a sudden seemingly profound thought: in addition to never having ‘modern world’ symbols in these, do you notice how they all ‘hold together with your expectations’? Like this is the old West, so you don’t see something from China in it for example. … It occurs to me there is no law saying something cannot have a similar symbolism. I mean… the whole concept of archetypes, really, is a repeat of symbols, forms and dynamics. Accept this, says the 3rd, so I do. … I’m an Aeon, she says. I just stare at her. You can’t be, I say, having struggled with that and decided. That’s impossible. There are only 12 and they are already accounted for. There are other groupings, she says. No, I insist.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Viru and Maal

Regular Practices List

I made a list while re-reading the blog of things I think might be worth considering as regular practices, in addition to whatever else I am doing. Maybe occasional but regularly so.


Nero tells me that until I can learn to hold focus decently he wants to see me visualizing red-light triangle outlines until they are utterly clear visually in my mind and remain that way without front-brain (as I call it) effort. “Your ability to hold a focus without wavering is necessary to develop before we can do certain other things.” Practice this regularly.

“There is always a doorway out,” Nero said. “Always. You have to look for it while holding yourself in a state of faith — a suspension of disbelief — you have to accept that it IS there, in order to create the space for that probability to come through.” Come up with an exercise that actually forces practice of this on reality, on little stuff.

Resume the ‘reality meds’ geometry practice.

Make a point near-daily to actually think about what I DO want from my life. Even the trivial things. Pay attention. How can I expect a good life if I can’t even bother paying attention to what ‘good’ would be? My guides want clear requests. They tell me so! Make some!

Meditate on the body much like in Biogram — just go through and look for geometric stuff — “problems of any kind” (or any specific kind) and deal with it. Find the

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Regular Practices List

The Catch-Up Clean-Up List

Re-reading the blog, I took notes. I came up with a list of things which I should have followed up with and didn’t, which I was told to do and didn’t, which I did but never finished or got back to.

I consider this the catch-up or clean-up list. I would like to get through most of these as my priority over the next while. There’s quite a list but I think if I just get to it, it’ll work through. After all this time, maybe I have already mostly integrated this stuff naturally by now anyway.


My right leg: “It’s a whole world on its own I thought, at the same time as inside my head, a ‘small planet with amazing colorful social spaceport’ image + concept bloomed, replete with the sense of moving hovercars and more below.” Use that imagery and meditate on this like I was supposed to when I rejected it.

“Today I was nearly asleep when, like a mini-dream, on this street that I visited yesterday in another city, I was walking near the corner, when around the corner incredibly fast came (of all things) a modern train and it ran right into me — or at least, the total shock of the fact that I was suddenly being hit by a modern train was so severe that I literally leapt up in defense-panic reaction just at the instant when it would have done so.” Meditate on WTH this means and resolve it.


This is an excerpt. Read the full article at The Catch-Up Clean-Up List

End of Cycle

Somehow I walked down what I thought were several different paths but it turns out they were all just different lines on the same path, and the chaos of “what connects the betweens” — and what divides them.

I did not understand it’s not about hypnosis, it’s not about remote viewing, it’s not about energy work, it’s not about archetype work, it’s not about jungian psychology or shamanism or NLP. It’s about the nature of reality. EVERYTHING ties into that primally. How everything works is all about that. That is ‘the big picture’. All those other things are just “individual instance” variations. In their own way, they are the targets of the larger archetype.

There is only consciousness, which is energy, which is perceived as mass if the particular frequency of it is near enough what our avatar/body spans.

Everything’s a fractal hologram, the patterns of the distant galaxies, the patterns of our solar system, the patterns of global weather, of national politics, of city finance, of family systems, of personal relationships and evolution, are all the same patterns, infinitely explored. Which means that ‘identity’ and ‘events’ and even ‘tendencies’ and ‘luck’ are as much energy as a television or a human or Jupiter. It’s all infinite. Buddha wanted every blade of grass to evolve because he understood.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at End of Cycle

Notes to Self, 22 Mar 12

Morning: Breathing with Jiri (Hot Amanakhaton).

Formerly-winged-guy felt more like 18% or so merged. Well, there is no ‘feeling’ involved just a ‘scan for awareness’ I’m doing.

Prayer. The real kind.

Did nothing else useful for most the day.

Late in day: freaked out for some reason. Actually ordered pizza and a 2L soda. Yes that’s very bad, not common for me but I was having some weird sudden moment I can’t explain, I wasn’t even really hungry and I had plenty of stuff (including carbs if that was the goal) at home. Took lots of gluten-ease but was only able to eat a few slices and had to force myself, at that. The whole thing tasted off. As if my body chemistry has changed in some weird way. The only thing that tasted weirder than the pizza was the soda (Sprite), that was especially icky-bizarre. It just didn’t have the good-brain-chemicals response this stuff normally would. How confusing! What a waste of money. I just put it all down and refused to eat or drink any more of it.

Formerly-winged-guy: about 23.something % merged. I’m wondering if I can blame the weird food response on him.

Late evening. Breathing with LaeLee, Calme, Nedlund.

I have felt especially affectionate about all the Aeons. Not really connected frankly. But affectionate. I prayed as part of each one today, to allow, to release and dissolve any resistance to their energy.

I felt at one point, that merely being allowed awareness of the

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Notes to Self, 22 Mar 12