Consciously I want to evolve.
My ego resists and I forget.
I blog, re-read, remember.
So I blog for me, mostly.
I have found that:
- → sincere and regular prayer
- → genuinely good intentions
- → present-focus, "interest"
- → extended sense of humor
- → honesty, sharing, healing
- → constant work to discover and release bias in oneself
- →
dogged (to the extreme) effort to pursue awareness and understanding
Leads a person to "interactive insight from the inside." We only grok by going through. Spiritual growth is like all others: you absorb, become aware, and via love (sympathetic rapport and desire to become or absorb) and will (directed intent), that energy becomes part of your singular sense of identity. The 'growth' is in awareness, and with that comes power which is always over Self. Diversity is Legion; Singularity is the I AM. None of this is new or unique. It's simply "unconscious and slow" for most people. I figure I can't help doing it, so I would rather do it well than badly. Darkness is not of the Nothingness. It is not the opposite of light, as it only exists within the realm of light itself. Darkness is just something-ness lacking color. The universe is fundamentally of light, and darkness fails to hold dominance and fails to understand why: its nature precludes it: awareness itself makes all identities children of the light.
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Posted by Palyne on 2012.05.11 It’s not like my body doesn’t talk to me. In pain. Lately in aching right knee and sometimes down the bone of the right shin.
It’s not like my body doesn’t talk to me. In meditations. Some of my Tek Meds (for health) have been visceral, visually impactive and nauseating, and in one case (on the liver) turned out to look and ‘be’ exactly like what it apparently was like in the spontaneous med.
It’s not like my body doesn’t talk to me. In dreams. I totally lose count of the number of dreams, although most I remember as ‘fragments’ so they don’t get recorded, that are either precognitive or far more often, simply “informative,” as if my subconscious would like to talk with me and that’s how it happens.
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Recently I wrote about having bought a toaster oven, and being very excited to make a whole list of planned recipes. The day it arrived, I was sitting in the rocking chair thinking of how awesome they would be and I would have lots of that this summer and not have to use the big stove or fire during the hot summer.
And I took a nap not long later, and had a dream which was symbolic but ended with a very, very clear message TO ME of:
Cheese let the poisons in.
I grieved. I ranted. Cheese is my favorite food. Hell, cheese has been my primary food, outside ‘meat’, since I went lowcarb years ago! Wait, what
Read the full article at The Body Talks
http://www.palyne.com/blog.psiche/the-body-talks/
Posted by Palyne on 2012.05.05 Friday, 04MAY2012, Midnight Mass with IG
IG, I suspect I whined, you know how in remote viewing, if the front-loading is super generic you can still get away with it? Well, I feel like my being clueless as to what is ‘going’ to happen even in ‘nature’ — archetype work, entity introduction, another world, etc. — is hard for my brain. I feel like if I at least had some heads-up on the ‘genre’ of what we’re doing for a given experience, that it would help reduce the imaginative interference.
She didn’t say anything. Of course, she seldom says anything. She responds directly so seldom I’m agog when it happens. Oh well, it was worth a try, I thought to myself with some humor. Negotiate with Angels, right!
She put out her hand and a line-drawing picture of a sort spread over the room-height/width window that was about ten feet in front of where we sit. By the time it was done, it looked like a rough line sketch of maybe an old, raw village, and I mean really old like, somewhere between 400BC and 400AD kind of old. And then the outer ‘world’ that we look out on — which she sometimes changes, and which I can change if I really focus and hold it — began to shift, and when it was done, I was looking “through” the line drawing on the window, at this exact village, as if you had seen it out the window and then
Read the full article at The Giant
http://www.palyne.com/blog.psiche/the-giant/
Posted by Palyne on 2012.05.04 Thursday 03MAY2012, Midnight Mass with IG
Afternoon didn’t happen. Did get food and supps today though. Last night’s MM sucked, I lost it.
Because I’ve lost my mind I’ve decided to try blending my own nootropics. Just wait till someone sees my fractional gram scale and white powder.
Tonight, I was allegedly ready around midnight but was in such denial that I managed to screw around for nearly an hour and a half before forcing myself to go see IG. This is the first time I’ve had resistance like this since I began “finally being consistent” which I think was about two weeks ago now. I finally realized that if I’m resisting this much, it probably means I need to get my butt in there even more. I figure, perhaps when something in me is getting closer to change that might happen, which only indicates more discipline is needed… I am dedicated. Finally. So I made it happen.
I didn’t tempt fate with all the normal lead-in stuff. I took 3 calming breaths and then ported to IG, who wasted no time either. After some very confusing swirling motion I was flat on my back looking up at the sky. Some creature that looked a lot like a person except with eyes 3x too big and perfectly round leaned over me as if standing above me. I had a flashback to the pinhead-world which I had entered a bit similarly. But he just grabbed my hand and pulled me to
Posted by Palyne on 2012.05.01 Variety of stuff to catch up on. If I don’t write it down it’ll all be gone to me. Some is already.
I’ve been making more effort to touch base with Aeons – chakras – aspects – prayer each day. Granted, I cannot yet see any particular difference from this, except perhaps that by the time I’m done, I feel somewhat better. Maybe that’s enough.
I’ve been making a point to ‘breathe with’ the 6 that IG recently introduced me to, and the 6 largers (only 4 of whom I’ve met, only 3 of whom I’ve named), despite that I get no real sense of focus from the other side. Also the ‘instincts/habits’ aspect and the small elephant that IG once introduced me to.
Monday 01 May 2012, Midnight Mass with IG
I dropped into the zone an hour before time and went through breathing-with and other things for an hour first. When I got to Jared and El Nino, this was a little different, El Nino was talking to me (which is very rare) and pointing out that anything can be anything (initially he was pointing out that the elephant-guide could be human if I merely requested that form). And he turned into a man and said, like how he could be a man. I was delighted and after some back&forth, he and Jared and I merged. Then they wanted to stay merged, so then we did the next Aeon on the round — that’s Calme or “Auk Sham”
Posted by Palyne on 2012.04.28 Friday, 28 Apr 2012, Midnight Mass with IG
I spent a lot of time getting my act together. And then I spent some time focusing on my right knee, and the ring finger of my right hand, both of which have had issues lately for some reason. And then I finally got to IG.
But I got distracted by something I’d wanted to deal with. From a previous med:
it was like everything he ‘said’, some part of me ‘held’ and then some other part of me evaluated, and then some other part of me ‘presented’ — possibly changing, filtering, etc. it — and I felt like I was “aware” of this going on for the first time ever, but that it ALWAYS goes on, and this is why it is so difficult for me to communicate and “allow novel information.”
So I grabbed a pen and paper and thought I would write it down in case I got lost and needed a visual cue to remind me what the heck I was doing, and I wrote down:
vvv — incoming communications
HOLDER —- seizes and holds info coming into me
EVALUATOR —- determines what is allowed
RELEASOR —- conveys allowed info to me
^^^ — my perception of what was communicated
Then I realized that this made an acronym of HER, which struck me as amusing since now I can truly blame it on my evil twin I guess, “It’s HER fault!”
I insisted that each of these
Read the full article at HER
http://www.palyne.com/blog.psiche/her/
Posted by Palyne on 2012.04.27 This post is a bit out of time sequence with the others because I wanted to put Tues and Thurs together. I didn’t blog for awhile. I was in denial. I did meditate but I have forgotten it.
I had been consistent with IG for a few days at least, and then I missed Sunday night. I woke up last Monday the next day (11 days ago) having dreamed that I was talking to my uncle about how I was going to die in a few days. I was quite chipper about it. My dad showed up and was grieving, and part of me wanted to tell him it was ok, while another part thought it wasn’t.
I realized I was awake and I had zero sense of transition between sleep and wake, which added to the sense of it being something special. It seemed utterly real to me.
I remembered and understood it was the 3rd of 3 dreams, all related, and the first was full of after-death symbolism (humorous: a man in charge was shepherding all of us down a huge multi-lane highway (empty, we were walking), with “our cars” — but they were all totally stripped “empty shells” — in a bundle in the middle. Is that totally archetypal–normally a ship, right??–or what!). That also gave it credibility.
And once, my dad’s old friend died and he was crushed he hadn’t talked to him in so long, and I told myself to dream if anyone would die
Read the full article at Galana
http://www.palyne.com/blog.psiche/galana/
Posted by Palyne on 2012.04.27 Thursday 26Apr2012, Midnight Mass with IG
I had the thought that rather than focusing “in my head” as I normally do — as if I am waiting for visuals — what if I focused down at my heart and solar plexus chakras instead, and waited for info there?
I’d been talking about that recently, as I’ve been told by several inner sources this is what best matches the energy-reality-level this world is operating in, plus that heart is concept and SP is relationship and the two together make “context” — and that area is the ideal place for remote viewing, right between and including both. (Maybe this is why several awesome viewers have had heart heart attacks. Over-development of the energy body there?? I recall reading as a young adult, some Alice A. Bailey materials (channeled, hard metaphysics like you need an esoteric dictionary to get through a page), talking about healing, basically suggesting that it would cause heart issues. It doesn’t seem to me that it should personally, unless done out of all context to the rest of the energy body, but what do I know).
I wondered how energy might differ with IG, I mean like when I’m “waiting” to see what happens, if I did that.
I first felt the motion, and then whatever it was started coming into view in front of me. It was a circular shape of thin flat metal with an edge a little bit like a gear. It was attached to something
Read the full article at Revisiting Works
http://www.palyne.com/blog.psiche/revisiting-works/
Posted by Palyne on 2012.04.27 Thursday, 27 April 2012, Midnight Mass with IG
They were like ‘a unit’, the way they stood together. A woman and the large scary yet slightly cartoonish lizard, who stood chest-to-chest or would have if he weren’t 3 foot taller, and her arms were down and his were around her.
I had no idea what this was. I’d had the impression on beginning that I might be meeting another chakra, either 2nd or 3rd, and the male/female element would support that, but… this was different given at least one presented like a person to me. (Well the Themelian was like a person, albeit very different sort of face.) More like an archetype, it seemed.
I did the standard elements on us. And then the scary cartoon was a man, of normal size, but they stayed together like that.
Who are you? I asked.
She said Bess and Ari, or Bessandari, or Bessand Ari. I don’t know, but I’m making it the latter because if it’s a chakra that would at least match the pattern that Konewa Turi’s name falls in I guess.
Me: Wow, I can’t believe it was that easy. (Then I spent awhile trying to go back over it thinking I couldn’t have heard it clearly.)
I still have no idea what or who they are internally, and I can’t recall anything else. But I suspect this is going to end up being the 2nd chakra, just something about the lizard appearance of the male initially gives me
Read the full article at Bessand Ari
http://www.palyne.com/blog.psiche/bessand-ari/
Posted by Palyne on 2012.04.15 Saturday 14APR2012, IG Midnight Mass
I’d planned to do whatever IG wanted, but I really sucked at keeping my brain quiet. Every time I would start to relax I would be daydreaming. Mostly about food. I was embarrassed that poor IG had to put up with me. Good thing she’s angelic. Anybody else would have slapped me upside the head before it was over.
I was so upset about the “cheese dream” you see, that since I can’t very well argue with my body, I apparently took instead to fantasizing about some allegedly happier health I’ll shock myself into having as a result of giving up my favorite food in the world. Along with dairy as a category, if cheese is an issue, since I know dairy is but I’d thought cheese was ok. And of course, that’s along with the foods I’ve already given up, such as gluten grains, legumes, and anything carby enough to be truly delicious.
As I don’t care for vegetables without salad dressings that require dairy, and the other veggies I like are unfortunately not veggies (peas are legumes, corn is a grain), apparently this means I will be living on the 13 foods on earth remaining. I can whittle down my “shopping the borders” of the grocery store to simply buying meat and fruit. Imagine all the time I’ll have left in my life, previously spent on irrelevant things like, oh, food.
I was deciding that in compensation for my good attitude and dedication
Posted by Palyne on 2012.04.14 Friday 14APR2012 Midnight Mass with IG
I told myself it was only some belief system that was making things so much harder to get to. Like the previous day had been too easy. I had fallen asleep earlier and woke up late for our appointment. She’s some kind of angel-thing. She probably doesn’t even perceive time like I do, I assured myself, as I tried to wake up enough to sit up and do some breathing and cleansing prep. I showed up, but I had the impression she was telling me to take the time it took to get myself calm and centered and ready. So I did. And spaced out a few times but got myself back to her.
Some energy form like an archetype was part of the evening. It was like an extremely angular thing, almost like part of a outer-triangle (I mean empty in the middle) and some other stuff, that was only half-a-thing. Like half done. Like it hadn’t grown the rest of the way. I was reminded, by the feel of it, of this one experience I had with IG where I saw these shapes and was told some were thoughtforms that were still new and incompletely grown. I had a hard time perceiving it and I did all the basic stuff with it, and I felt way, way too much of myself especially the back right lower part of my head, go with the elements, but still when I was done, I couldn’t
Posted by Palyne on 2012.04.13 Thursday 12 APR 2012 Midnight Mass with IG
I got there a little early. I was able to do some nice breathing, cleansing, centering with the Four, a superquick breathing-med with each of the major gems in the chakra gem world, and return to her on time.
For some reason that seemed so easy. When normally this all seems so hard. Like normally just getting centered and calm is hard enough and usually if I go into the gemworld I get distracted and lost. It was like I had some kind of grounding and focus I don’t normally.
I ‘allowed’ her, praying fiercely as we began to ‘allow’ as needed. I floated straight up and the ceiling opened up and I went through the roof and into the sky and just kept going. That … was not expected. I ‘allowed’ and felt myself pass through various “bandwidths” of energy is what it felt like, that I suspected had to do with the layers of our atmosphere, except I suspected I felt more bandwidths than those have, as if there are several per layer as we know of them.
Eventually I stopped, and I just stood there working to be calm and centered and ‘allow’ whatever might come.
I thought to myself, “Let it fall. Let any part of myself that is resisting this experience, dissolve and fall.” And I sensed that literally major parts of me were dissolving and sloughing off, as if it were an archmed and we were
Posted by Palyne on 2012.04.12 I just understood something. I should have got this sooner. It’s the ajna (third-eye) visual senses. Everything has an extra ‘dimension’ of sorts.
But the dimensional quality means something.
I guess I sort of realized this “sometimes.” The ‘quality’ of a solid colored anything varies and “everything visual carries information.”
Think of it like art. Imagine that you have a super ‘flat’ paint, and a super ‘high glossy’ paint, and you have a finish on something that was some shellack-ish clear thing rubbed hard for hours over something so it’s shiny but has real depth, and you have a very “matte” quality, you get the idea. The diff is that with the ajna visuals, it all means something. In regular life, red and glossy vs. white and flat, sure they have an aesthetic difference, which can translate in-use to somewhat more conceptual and aesthetic impressions. But they don’t really MEAN anything. I mean they don’t carry great meaning to our brains, our guts, even a sense of a deeper self, even if maybe they have it.
In the ajna visuals, the color has great meaning. The texture, and the depth of both texture and color, have meaning. It’s like that part of it is information too. And all the meanings are “deep and profound” like Truth with a capital T or the very IS-ness of a thing as Seth might have said. And many elements of a thing which in our regular world are not visual–could not possibly
Read the full article at Ajna Visuals
http://www.palyne.com/blog.psiche/ajna-visuals/
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Reality = Physiology = Psychology = Spirituality = Cosmology = Geometry = Number = Sound = Form There is no difference.  Posts  Comments Identity is an arbitrary collection of consciousness assigned a title. My work is not just study; it's prayer, it's mental techniques, it's life habits. It's not just about inner worlds; discipline and physical environment matter. It's not just spiritual; my body and world is part of it. It's not just esoteric; everything corresponds integrally — the mundane, the arcane, the divine. It's not just an '-ology'; my own identity, body, reality, psyche is key to it all. The only tenets of truth I hold are based on personal experience.This effort has spanned my life, but not until ~1994 did it become intentional, not 'til late '00s did it become fairly 'serious'. I've gone through many models and philosophies over time, but now I've none except what experience teach me. I am ever the student, but I've reached a point of "fluency" and "internal guidance" where I don't care about labels or other peoples' paradigms.
CATEGORIES on this blog are extensive and nested. Most everything that matters or repeats much has a category.
The TAGS are just minor notes of reference trivia. They are usually a rare experience, or an observation about something I read.
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