I have found that:
  • → sincere prayer
  • → genuine intentions
  • → present-focus
  • → extended humor
  • → careful integrity
  • → constant work to discover and release all forms of bias in oneself
  • → dogged effort to pursue awareness, divine guidance and understanding
Leads a person to "interactive insight from the inside."

Consciously I want to evolve.
My ego resists strenuously.
I surreally "forget" so much!
So I blog for myself, mostly:
to re-read and remember.

People ask me where to begin with the complexity of the stuff on my blog. But my imaginal and related work spans 25 years as of 2016. So the real answer is "I don't know." I can't put all that in a sound bite. And one would have to understand, not just intellectually but experientially, a lot of it from start to middle to begin to understand where I am now. It is 'active imagination' work, resting on an extremely 'open' definition of archetype and energy, mapped at times to various occult patterns because they seem useful and otherwise just loosely personal; but that's not all. Short of how the blog speaks for itself that's about all I can say about it. It's a path I've built myself, for one. ~ Palyne

In the human spirit, as in the universe, nothing is higher or lower; everything has equal rights to a common center which manifests its hidden existence precisely through this harmonic relationship between every part and itself.
-- Goethe

Angels transcend every religion, every philosophy, every creed. In fact angels have no religion as we know it... their existence precedes every religious system that has ever existed on earth.
-- St. Thomas Aquinas

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In the beginning all was indivisible. And in becoming manifest, it became, seemingly, divisible. But the divisions must evolve to recognize themselves, and each other, and to then accept themselves, to truly know themselves by knowing each other. To begin, they are blended, confused; it is chaos, it is legion. They are all on the journey to indivisibility, to singularity, to the I AM. The point, of course, is not the destination, but the journey.

-- insight during the Princess of Disks meditation

Spiritual growth is like all other types: you absorb seemingly 'other' energy, and it becomes part of your own sense of identity. The growth is in awareness, and with that comes power which is always over Self.
Diversity is Legion;
Singularity is the I AM.
None of this is new although my approach to it is my own. -- Palyne

Inner Guide is Angelic. She is free of anything akin to doctrine. I call her an Angel because that is the only word I have for it, and because I know, all the way through me, that this is our word for her fundamentally divine nature. Aside from that, I don’t even know what she IS exactly, or what it means, or where it would fit into any model. She is life sized, soul wide, colors and gems and flowers and songs, everything beautiful that ever was, condensed into an identity I am completely in love with–except she feels like part of me too, so it’s like also being in love with yourself, and also with God, and also with the whole universe, both every tiny thing in your mundania, and ‘awareness’ as something so utterly, mind-bogglingly amazing — how could this exist? How could this not exist? How could I ever understand such a thing? — I am left only with joy, with awe.
-- on Inner Guide #4, aka 'Sedaena'. The first IG I had genuine conversation (and reading) with; the first real sign of my HGA.

He is so much inside and outside me, larger than me and yet the light of the tiniest particles of me, I don’t even have a word for whatever it is that he IS. I call him angelic and inner guide and the name he gave me because I have no idea what else to call this. It’s a Being and a Thing and an Event and a Place and a Relationship and… it’s like there is no label that is remotely big enough to encompass whatever it IS.
-- on Inner Guide #5, aka 'Mark.'

The boundary between the imaginational and imaginal is rather fuzzy and it is a developed skill and art to learn to stay there; to maintain your own autonomy while allowing the-others’ autonomy; to be shocked, astounded, grossed out, effused, and other surprise emotions from the interaction; all this without getting lost in the experience like a dream, yet also without pulling back to controlling the experience like a daydream. The former is being swept away by the river, and the latter is standing on the shore thinking about it; learning to walk the fine line of control and allowance to stay in that ‘imaginal realm’ actually takes practice. Crazy people think it’s all autonomous and happening ‘to’ them; people unable to allow this for themselves, may think it’s all imagination; and they’d both be right, because they are both lost; the goal is a whole world that bridges and encompasses both of those.

-- on "Interworlds Meditation"

Q: Where are you now?

Me: Well, back in my own reality.

Q: Wrong. You are in a reality version that distraction and denial have made for you.

Me: How do I get out?

Q: Wrong question. There is no space, there is no time. Where are you again?

Me: Oh. I’m wherever I "pay attention" to being.

Q: Right. You PAY attention. It is the currency of your soul. You rent your reality. Never forget that. The choice to move is yours.

Dealing with the unconscious has become a question of life for us.
The play of the imagination is incalculable.
~ Carl Jung

The imaginary can be innocuous, the imaginal never can.
~ Henry Corbin

A calling may be postponed, avoided, intermittently missed. It may also possess you completely. Whatever; eventually it will out. It makes its claim. The daimon does not go away.
~ James Hillman

There comes a time when the mind takes a higher plane of knowledge but can never prove how it got there.
-- Albert Einstein


This blog documents much of my work in the "inter-worlds" of a greater-self. It's not just esoteric: every thing corresponds — the mundane, the arcane, the divine. If it had to be summed up you might say it is "a universe of personalization." A strange place where monotheism and ultimate-pantheism are one and the same.

I am a natural mystic, if spontaneous experiences determine such a thing. I am not religious in any way; only guidance from the inside drives me. No identities or models unless they are introduced to me from the inside. (Sometimes I use them simply for interest, or because their models are convenient doorways -- but I accept none of their doctrines.) I briefly studied theology at one point, independently (I consider constant prayer a valid part of edu too), and where it led me was "anywhere-else." It's fine for others of course. I consider the heart of free will to be that everyone has their own road. Or as Heinlein once wrote, the right to go to hell in their own handbasket.

This tends to make me obsessed with the divine yet not religious at all, in any form, which is often confusing to onlookers. I am ever in love with and in closer pursuit of integration with The Christ (which I consider a solar-planetary deity, exceeding and preceding all possible religion, though cyclically present within our species) but I'm not remotely a modern Christian, and this also tends to be very confusing to onlookers. I'm a student of archetypes and pattern systems, yet not a jungian intellectual - armchair philosophy bores me - nor a power occultist - which has its own issues (and uniforms) to say the least.

After nearly two decades of certain experiences I felt alone with and thought were unique to me, it turns out I find some harmony in the gnostic writings. I didn't get it from there, and am not fond of that doctrine and the paradigms it came in with, so I ignore it. Which means despite talking about just a few things specific to it (by unknowing accident until a few years ago), I'm not part of that model either.

The road I walk is my own. It doesn't really have an easy label or anybody else on it, that I can see. This is between me and God, so it doesn't really need to work for anybody else. I used to wish I wasn't the only person with such experiences or practices, and started a blog in part in the hope I might find others with something similar. Maybe a need for community. I'm over that now, at least I think. I walk alone, but Light is with me. Can't ask for more than that.

-- Palyne

When we understand that perception is as much about source as target; that energy is a spectrum and best psi perception comes from the center, its balance and blend; that the manifest communication of our Selves is the literal 'reality' we experience; that everything in that reality is a profound 3D language element; that insight with the ‘center’ of spectrum is likely to be via the language-symbols of 'reality;' that these need to be interpreted at the level they are received; this is the path for intentional psi.
-- Insight on the Art of RV

Foot Med

Today I got a spontaneous visualization. Basically this means I was minding my own business when I suddenly appeared to ‘be’ in the midst of an archetype-style environment or process, but I hadn’t done anything to intentionally get myself there.

I was looking at a foot that I understood to be my own right foot. But I was only focused on ‘it’ in front of me as its own archetype-like symbol. The foot was turned, toes to my left, so I was seeing the inside of the foot from base to ankle.

The middle looked like “steampunk.” There was this whole section of the middle of the side, maybe four inches wide and two inches high, and it seemed to be silvery metal, I sensed steel, and it had something like little holes all over in it, evenly spaced like a sieve, as if it were ‘designed’. Yet at the same time, I could feel the ‘concept’ of it, and it wasn’t that at all. It felt like a grievous oozing wound, my impression was, the sort that might be a horrible worse-than-rash caused by something internal.

…I don’t know why I would get spontaneous visualization related to my foot. There is nothing wrong with my right foot as far as I know!

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Foot Med

Love me do: Jiri Ithikah Bolehren L’Anna

I had some realization that I needed to do the ‘let-them-love-me’ thing with the Aeons prior to the Four, ideally. Because every integration with an Aeon makes me slightly more open to one or more of the Four. Senior told me that once, when my work with Jiri made Senior so much clearer to me.

Through the evening, I began to “sense” this area of myself. As if I were a big egg shape of energy. And horizontally, from just around the top of my solar plexus to just below my throat, that entire area was like a ‘bandwidth’ of energy. And inside that area is what I need to work on. I could feel the sense of opacity, blocks, thickness, textures, etc.

I felt Sun was giving me this. Often when I’m with Sun I have spontaneously “felt” various color, texture, density, in my body, as if all the things which “blocked the light” were becoming apparent to me.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Love me do: Jiri Ithikah Bolehren L’Anna

A Stranger Inside

It occurred to me that I should be looking at “whatever” happens with re-introducing myself to music as merely feedback, just like an archetype working. If someone shows up in an archmed and they are a normal looking person, I don’t say, “That’s not good enough. You need to look unhappy or grungy or something.” Whatever comes through me is simply informational — bio-feedback, literally — there is no point to judging it, it is really merely the message. I guess all of reality is merely the message.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at A Stranger Inside

A Few Dreams

Then in the main timeline it was only like an hour or two since we’d been caught and the powerful guy had taken control of us, although it was like a little less than 20 years in the fast timeline. And we felt so old. And my mate was just emotionally wrecked.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at A Few Dreams


So I think Mark is indicating, indirectly, that it’s just time for me to move on. I just need to keep doing what I’m doing. Meditate, pray, play guitar, whatever, and regularly ask for help with the heart-chakra and PTSD stuff, and give “life” — the music, the meditations, in this case — the chance to work through some of the emotion as part of process.

If the song didn’t embarrass me I’d record it and post it.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Music


I’m broken.

I never realized it until today. Christmas day, of all days.

I feel like I’ve been living with a stranger most my life and I never realized it until now. Like me and the stranger agreed on some unspoken level to let each other alone. I would be the functional one on the surface, and I would pretend she didn’t exist. And she would be the lunatic chained with rage and grief and enough PTSD for several soldiers, under the surface. Her scope and territory growing over time, as more that I couldn’t deal with, but she could, had to get handed off.

And we’d work together to create a wall around her, stone by stone, until it was solid enough to protect her from my world, and enough to protect my world and me from her, and then together we could speak the invisibility spell for it. And nobody could ever get through it, get to me, get to her, because that wall wasn’t there to be found. Hence, she wasn’t there to be found. And I had it all in hand. Because anybody could see I was fine. Move on, nothing else to see here.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Broken


We were in an open-field sort of place and coming toward us was this giant monster-like archetype. Like about 10x the size of a person, a little more mountain-like but human shape, and made of some kind of silver metal. The ground shook and sometimes cracked with every stomping step.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Rolle

Notes to Self, 05-Dec-2012

Why would any soul not allow it? Open love, I mean. Why would such a thing ever be in place in anybody in the first place? One can’t say “childhood” or something because that’s as much a creation of belief systems as adulthood, after all, right? So you get stuck in a hall of mirrors with that circular argument.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Notes to Self, 05-Dec-2012

On Truth, II

The only guide for Truth is the inner feeling. There is no such thing as total-truth which is a verbal or written statement. So I don’t think that any of us are ever going to be able to look at anything from a math problem to a religious doctrine to an abduction account to a suicide note and say, “This is totally true or not.” We may be able to say, “I feel in my gut that there is truth here, in a strong or light intensity.” We may be able to say, “I feel there is a ‘break’ in the flow of this energy and two ‘cold words’ indicating someone other than the main author inserted these two words.” We may be able to say, ‘I sense accuracy (note: this is not Truth, but accuracy is a valid energy of its own) in the first part of this sentence, but not in the second part.’ All of those things can happen, and can help us intellectually evaluate things in the outer-worlds. But none of those are actually a decree of “This is TRUE!” or not. Because our reality is a kaleidoscope of patterns that are creative variations on Truth. There is Truth within the patterns to varying degrees, and ‘through’ them, but the fundamental composition of our reality is only some percentage of Truth.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at On Truth, II

Emotional Armor

After a whole day (and at least 50 arguments) had passed, it was horribly obvious that no matter how simple and silly this sounded, it was clearly infringing on some problem energy I’ve got. As I tried to make another excuse for it, Sun sort of “leaned into my attention” and pointed out the obvious to me: if it were nothing, if it were easy, I’d already have done it. Anything with that amount of verging-on-hysterical-avoidance is an issue.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Emotional Armor

The Chronicles of Mark

Is there still some difference between these… creatures? This angel of my soul versus inner guide #5? Are they one? Are they my ‘deva?’

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at The Chronicles of Mark

Hermetically Sealed

I wish I had some word for the complete lack of ‘judgement’ he has. Until IG4, I always felt a strong sense of ‘opinion’ when I met a new IG (and not positive in that sense, but like I wasn’t living up to expectations). Now I wonder if that was me all along. IG4 didn’t have it, and I wondered in blog at the time if it was because she was the first female IG. But Mark doesn’t have it either, even moreso. Even the word “neutral” fails to describe this, because I think being one of our human words, it implies simply not making or taking judgement, but with him, it is more like, such a thing simply does not even exist. It cannot exist. As if to exist it would require a “perception of separation from me” that he simply does not have.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Hermetically Sealed