Consciously I want to evolve.
My ego resists and I forget.
I blog, re-read, remember.
So I blog for me, mostly.
I have found that:
- → sincere and regular prayer
- → genuinely good intentions
- → present-focus, "interest"
- → extended sense of humor
- → honesty, sharing, healing
- → constant work to discover and release bias in oneself
- →
dogged (to the extreme) effort to pursue awareness and understanding
Leads a person to "interactive insight from the inside." We only grok by going through. Spiritual growth is like all others: you absorb, become aware, and via love (sympathetic rapport and desire to become or absorb) and will (directed intent), that energy becomes part of your singular sense of identity. The 'growth' is in awareness, and with that comes power which is always over Self. Diversity is Legion; Singularity is the I AM. None of this is new or unique. It's simply "unconscious and slow" for most people. I figure I can't help doing it, so I would rather do it well than badly. Darkness is not of the Nothingness. It is not the opposite of light, as it only exists within the realm of light itself. Darkness is just something-ness lacking color. The universe is fundamentally of light, and darkness fails to hold dominance and fails to understand why: its nature precludes it: awareness itself makes all identities children of the light.
|
Posted by Palyne on 2011.12.16 I just grinned at IG and leaped out to go do cleansing and a chakra round in the gem world. I got a slight merge-like rush from some of the focus moments, but only some, varied with the gem. I told them all how I want to know them. I was feeling very positive.
I talked to the Four for awhile and ended up whining about how it’s just so damn boring ‘being with them’ and not doing anything else and they said that was my restrictions on what I allowed myself, implying we’d have a more ‘active’ time if I was up for it. At some point in there I was thinking about the gem chakra world and (they?) suggested that I should work on getting — this is my phrasing, it was a translation even at the time — “something of each chakra in each day.”
So for example, something related to (as one option) survival for the root — doing something constructive toward your future or health or safety I got would work for that. Not just something on paper or mental, something you gotta do with your body. And, something that is creative, sexual or ideally both, for the 2nd. Something that is intentional ‘discipline’ for the third, I got that would match it well. Something specific to the heart and I got that in the absence of having gushing love at that moment for something or someone, ‘gratitude’ was another ‘aspect’ of love. Something for
Posted by Palyne on 2011.12.14 In figure skating, it doesn’t matter how gloriously you can leap and spin and even flip; if you can’t do the 8′s so perfectly you score at the top of the big list of entrants, you’re not going to get to the figure skating part.
I feel like there is some corollary (analogy?) to this in metaphysics. Like, you’ve got to get some basics down–or simply have them innately, as some people seem to–like chakra health for example–before you stand a chance at truly exploring your potential.
Last night I was late for my midnight meeting with IG. I kicked myself all through 20 minutes of lateness, arguing fiercely inside about whether it mattered, and of course it did, and how stupid as long as I get to it, and look it’s a commitment so it’s the moral of it, and so on, until I finally was so disgusted at the internal debate about it–replete with almost-voices like my whole consortium of Aeons were split on it, I felt like I was in the middle of an entire crowd of people arguing–that I just closed my computer and started.
But first, I wanted to do the cleansing and chakra ritual. I figured if I do it repeatedly I’ll build up the thoughtform and get faster at it and it’s a good lead-in as it helps get my brain state calmed down some from the computer work.
Unfortunately, I never finished. I didn’t feel much connection to the chakra effort, I
Read the full article at Skating the 8′s
http://www.palyne.com/blog.psiche/skating-the-8s/
Posted by Palyne on 2011.12.13 12:01 I realized, and slammed my laptop lid down and put an eyemask on and rolled out the inner world and was sitting next to IG.
I was getting a lot of subtle but unformed visuals. We were about to do something and then I remembered I had done no cleansing, and no chakra work. I asked if she could make me an inner world-of-me I could visit, much like the world of the chakra-gems, for a sort of repeatable ritual element (for cleansing). I thought it would help build the thought form and habit, but I also think now that it might make me more open to non-structured experience after a grounding in that.
So she did. I went into the top of a mountain and then into this tube I had to fly through and then it opened up into this big cave with a deep pool with steps carved into it and the water was completely opaque, not clear as is normal for caves I think. It was the cleansing water. I stepped down into the bath-like water in the cave that reminded me of thick salt water like in floatation tanks kind of, and the steps ended at a place that had me in the center of a ball of water that was probably like just extending my human form about 10 feet in every direction like an egg sphere. I stood there for awhile, though I felt that even several seconds, if I was focused,
Posted by Palyne on 2011.12.12 It’s not quite a cold war. But it hasn’t got artillary. Yet.
It’s got resistance. Denial. And passive-aggressive. It’s got Oh-I-Forgot and I-Just-Don’t-Feel-Like-It and I-Just-Feel-Frustrated-Don’t-Know-Why-Leave-It-Alone. But it’s clearly a war of sorts, when I back off a little and make it objective so I can look into it, and consider it.
Unfortunately it’s a war with myself. Now, “myself” has some rather extensive boundaries now that god knows how many other identities appear to be wrapped up in the surprisingly complex thing called “I.” Like Russia that was one country even though it was always little things held together uncomfortably and by force, but when Russia suddenly found some freedom, all the sudden all its inner identities started getting a sense of more autonomy. Civil war wasn’t really possible until the larger iron fist lifted off all of them.
Now they are a lot more free. Free-er to starve, and to kill each other, although of course they’re also free-er to do many better things.
That’s how I feel about my larger conglomerate. Does that mean the Aeons? I don’t know, probably. My not working with them I am sure is having some profound internal effects. Like letting your husband go live in another country with another family for 10 years and then being surprised when it turns out you have nothing in common and he’s got a woman over there. You let go of staying connected through the middle to the identities which are important to you and they
Read the full article at The Local War
http://www.palyne.com/blog.psiche/the-local-war/
Posted by Palyne on 2011.12.09 Remember some time ago I said that in truly opening up my meditations closer to ‘anything’, I was risking that at least for the ones I could remember semi literally and translate into words, they might not be as… well, within the paradigms of what I consider relatively cool to blog about. In other words, I might look more like an (idiot? new age fairy?) than usual. I decided at that point that the blog served my inner work not the other way around so I would not let that matter.
Except I just realized 5 minutes ago… I let it matter.
I had a meditation which I didn’t bother to blog about although it was translate-able just fine. This always reflects denial on my part although, being in denial, I forgot that. :-) I put off meditating for a long time. Then I did another — and in a way it also reflected the same thing. Which I didn’t blog. And decided didn’t matter… again.
I was doing something else on my computer when the “observance and realization” just arrived that the last two meditations IG worked with me on, I have essentially invalidated, by choosing to not blog them — for social insecurity reasons.
This seemed so reasonable to me, previous to a few minutes ago when I felt like a complete dolt. So, on the assumption I can at least mention the fragments I recall, I came here to blog them.
**
Med 1 (date forgotten)
I
|
Reality = Physiology = Psychology = Spirituality = Cosmology = Geometry = Number = Sound = Form There is no difference.  Posts  Comments Identity is an arbitrary collection of consciousness assigned a title. My work is not just study; it's prayer, it's mental techniques, it's life habits. It's not just about inner worlds; discipline and physical environment matter. It's not just spiritual; my body and world is part of it. It's not just esoteric; everything corresponds integrally — the mundane, the arcane, the divine. It's not just an '-ology'; my own identity, body, reality, psyche is key to it all. The only tenets of truth I hold are based on personal experience.This effort has spanned my life, but not until ~1994 did it become intentional, not 'til late '00s did it become fairly 'serious'. I've gone through many models and philosophies over time, but now I've none except what experience teach me. I am ever the student, but I've reached a point of "fluency" and "internal guidance" where I don't care about labels or other peoples' paradigms.
CATEGORIES on this blog are extensive and nested. Most everything that matters or repeats much has a category.
The TAGS are just minor notes of reference trivia. They are usually a rare experience, or an observation about something I read.
|
Recent Comments