I have found that:
  • → sincere prayer
  • → genuine intentions
  • → present-focus
  • → extended humor
  • → careful integrity
  • → constant work to discover and release all forms of bias in oneself
  • → dogged effort to pursue awareness, divine guidance and understanding
Leads a person to "interactive insight from the inside."

Consciously I want to evolve.
My ego resists strenuously.
I surreally "forget" so much!
So I blog for myself, mostly:
to re-read and remember.

People ask me where to begin with the complexity of the stuff on my blog. But my imaginal and related work spans 25 years as of 2016. So the real answer is "I don't know." I can't put all that in a sound bite. And one would have to understand, not just intellectually but experientially, a lot of it from start to middle to begin to understand where I am now. It is 'active imagination' work, resting on an extremely 'open' definition of archetype and energy, mapped at times to various occult patterns because they seem useful and otherwise just loosely personal; but that's not all. Short of how the blog speaks for itself that's about all I can say about it. It's a path I've built myself, for one. ~ Palyne

In the human spirit, as in the universe, nothing is higher or lower; everything has equal rights to a common center which manifests its hidden existence precisely through this harmonic relationship between every part and itself.
-- Goethe

Angels transcend every religion, every philosophy, every creed. In fact angels have no religion as we know it... their existence precedes every religious system that has ever existed on earth.
-- St. Thomas Aquinas

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In the beginning all was indivisible. And in becoming manifest, it became, seemingly, divisible. But the divisions must evolve to recognize themselves, and each other, and to then accept themselves, to truly know themselves by knowing each other. To begin, they are blended, confused; it is chaos, it is legion. They are all on the journey to indivisibility, to singularity, to the I AM. The point, of course, is not the destination, but the journey.

-- insight during the Princess of Disks meditation

Spiritual growth is like all other types: you absorb seemingly 'other' energy, and it becomes part of your own sense of identity. The growth is in awareness, and with that comes power which is always over Self.
Diversity is Legion;
Singularity is the I AM.
None of this is new although my approach to it is my own. -- Palyne

Inner Guide is Angelic. She is free of anything akin to doctrine. I call her an Angel because that is the only word I have for it, and because I know, all the way through me, that this is our word for her fundamentally divine nature. Aside from that, I don’t even know what she IS exactly, or what it means, or where it would fit into any model. She is life sized, soul wide, colors and gems and flowers and songs, everything beautiful that ever was, condensed into an identity I am completely in love with–except she feels like part of me too, so it’s like also being in love with yourself, and also with God, and also with the whole universe, both every tiny thing in your mundania, and ‘awareness’ as something so utterly, mind-bogglingly amazing — how could this exist? How could this not exist? How could I ever understand such a thing? — I am left only with joy, with awe.
-- on Inner Guide #4, aka 'Sedaena'. The first IG I had genuine conversation (and reading) with; the first real sign of my HGA.

He is so much inside and outside me, larger than me and yet the light of the tiniest particles of me, I don’t even have a word for whatever it is that he IS. I call him angelic and inner guide and the name he gave me because I have no idea what else to call this. It’s a Being and a Thing and an Event and a Place and a Relationship and… it’s like there is no label that is remotely big enough to encompass whatever it IS.
-- on Inner Guide #5, aka 'Mark.'

The boundary between the imaginational and imaginal is rather fuzzy and it is a developed skill and art to learn to stay there; to maintain your own autonomy while allowing the-others’ autonomy; to be shocked, astounded, grossed out, effused, and other surprise emotions from the interaction; all this without getting lost in the experience like a dream, yet also without pulling back to controlling the experience like a daydream. The former is being swept away by the river, and the latter is standing on the shore thinking about it; learning to walk the fine line of control and allowance to stay in that ‘imaginal realm’ actually takes practice. Crazy people think it’s all autonomous and happening ‘to’ them; people unable to allow this for themselves, may think it’s all imagination; and they’d both be right, because they are both lost; the goal is a whole world that bridges and encompasses both of those.

-- on "Interworlds Meditation"

Q: Where are you now?

Me: Well, back in my own reality.

Q: Wrong. You are in a reality version that distraction and denial have made for you.

Me: How do I get out?

Q: Wrong question. There is no space, there is no time. Where are you again?

Me: Oh. I’m wherever I "pay attention" to being.

Q: Right. You PAY attention. It is the currency of your soul. You rent your reality. Never forget that. The choice to move is yours.

Dealing with the unconscious has become a question of life for us.
The play of the imagination is incalculable.
~ Carl Jung

The imaginary can be innocuous, the imaginal never can.
~ Henry Corbin

A calling may be postponed, avoided, intermittently missed. It may also possess you completely. Whatever; eventually it will out. It makes its claim. The daimon does not go away.
~ James Hillman

There comes a time when the mind takes a higher plane of knowledge but can never prove how it got there.
-- Albert Einstein


This blog documents much of my work in the "inter-worlds" of a greater-self. It's not just esoteric: every thing corresponds — the mundane, the arcane, the divine. If it had to be summed up you might say it is "a universe of personalization." A strange place where monotheism and ultimate-pantheism are one and the same.

I am a natural mystic, if spontaneous experiences determine such a thing. I am not religious in any way; only guidance from the inside drives me. No identities or models unless they are introduced to me from the inside. (Sometimes I use them simply for interest, or because their models are convenient doorways -- but I accept none of their doctrines.) I briefly studied theology at one point, independently (I consider constant prayer a valid part of edu too), and where it led me was "anywhere-else." It's fine for others of course. I consider the heart of free will to be that everyone has their own road. Or as Heinlein once wrote, the right to go to hell in their own handbasket.

This tends to make me obsessed with the divine yet not religious at all, in any form, which is often confusing to onlookers. I am ever in love with and in closer pursuit of integration with The Christ (which I consider a solar-planetary deity, exceeding and preceding all possible religion, though cyclically present within our species) but I'm not remotely a modern Christian, and this also tends to be very confusing to onlookers. I'm a student of archetypes and pattern systems, yet not a jungian intellectual - armchair philosophy bores me - nor a power occultist - which has its own issues (and uniforms) to say the least.

After nearly two decades of certain experiences I felt alone with and thought were unique to me, it turns out I find some harmony in the gnostic writings. I didn't get it from there, and am not fond of that doctrine and the paradigms it came in with, so I ignore it. Which means despite talking about just a few things specific to it (by unknowing accident until a few years ago), I'm not part of that model either.

The road I walk is my own. It doesn't really have an easy label or anybody else on it, that I can see. This is between me and God, so it doesn't really need to work for anybody else. I used to wish I wasn't the only person with such experiences or practices, and started a blog in part in the hope I might find others with something similar. Maybe a need for community. I'm over that now, at least I think. I walk alone, but Light is with me. Can't ask for more than that.

-- Palyne

When we understand that perception is as much about source as target; that energy is a spectrum and best psi perception comes from the center, its balance and blend; that the manifest communication of our Selves is the literal 'reality' we experience; that everything in that reality is a profound 3D language element; that insight with the ‘center’ of spectrum is likely to be via the language-symbols of 'reality;' that these need to be interpreted at the level they are received; this is the path for intentional psi.
-- Insight on the Art of RV

What Cells Do; That Man; Rambling

I haven’t meditated in what feels like forever. I didn’t for awhile, and then the last time I tuned into the Four, the 3rd started talking about the things I’m calling Sylph, and I didn’t remember any of the important part right after, and I felt pissed off about it for days.

Maybe because it felt like it’s boring as dirt with them for so long and then the minute I sort of disconnect, they get interesting.

Maybe because I’d like to make contact with something I can at least touch and see and get something useful out of the relationship.Why couldn’t they connect me with the devics of cats or rocks or something. I do appreciate that since I’d actually sort of communicated with those creatures before, albeit I assumed “it was my imagination,” that maybe it seemed I’d absorb that better or whatever. Still. I’m reminded of how part of my brain, it wants to know what good any of this is doing me.

Maybe because when Senior and the Queen showed me how I was fighting fiercely against everything the 3rd was trying to bring through to me, I realized how unspiritual and unevolved I am. Compared to them I’m a complete dolt.

Maybe it’s because I realized that my less than ideal self affects not just me but them too, and I’m pissed about the obligation. I want access to everything but responsibility for none of it, apparently.


Speaking of what feels like forever, a

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at What Cells Do; That Man; Rambling

Not Going Anywhere

There are dreams that are incredibly detailed and linear–which I put in a category of their own; and dreams that I believe are precognitive, which also have a category of their own; and dreams I can easily see the physical-venting biological process in, another category; and the there’s dreams that are similar to meditations but less intentional, where I interact with other parts of me; there is also a category of dream that I think is very common in our species, and basically represents a little bit of all those things put together.

These are the ones where the symbolism is the part you read. Houses and vehicles and water and snakes and things like that, map out the structure.

I woke up at 4:30am this morning and was going to meditate, sitting up comfortably. Instead I eventually fell asleep before I had begun.

I dreamed that I was driving down a 12-lane highway. There was a storm so bad it was nearly a hurricane, not so much with the winds but with the water, pouring down on my car. There were hardly any other cars on the grey wet road. I wanted to get somewhere. I was going to an airport to go somewhere. The effect of the water and wind on my driving was making it a little erratic and I worried I would crash, so I moved to the very center of the highway to give myself lots of room for safety.

I thought I was doing

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Not Going Anywhere

Sylphs and the Four

I slept since this happened so I have forgotten much of it. I suspect it’s going to sound even stupider as a result.

I was doing my morning prayers. As I have felt very separated from everything for awhile, this was my, “to whom it may concern” level prayer. I thank God for my life. I thank IG for her awesome self and ask her to please stay involved with guidance and insight with me. And I attempt to bring the Four close in the body-place where we all connect, between the heart and throat chakras. For some time now, this entire series has pretty much no experiential result at all.

This morning it did. I sensed IG. And I really sensed the 3rd, and then all Four of us together. Just yesterday I wrote a post about being in neutral so I had kind of accepted that and was surprised that all the sudden, at least these things were back in me again.

I was sitting ‘with’ the Four. We seemed slightly different. More… active, perhaps. I mention this and the 3rd tells me, We have been, since the _____. My brain tells me this word means “discovery” but I feel that was not the word he used. The word, whatever it was, almost meant something like an agreement of union of two different groups of people; a joint venture, in business, don’t know what it is outside that.

[Discovery]? I say, surprised and even ever so slightly amused-yet-irked.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Sylphs and the Four

In Neutral

There must be a purgatory of spirit. A place where you have no desire, feel no impelling. Where you can’t even feel the longing, or the fear. A state of mind where you idle in neutral, your eyes tending to unfocus, your brain tending to mundane concerns, your body oblivious to anything but the most obvious level of energy, pain or weariness. Where even dreams abandon you before memory can grab them, their color and emotion fleeing from the scene of the crime, where they dared to live out anything that might actually mean something.

I haven’t meditated in… a couple weeks? I think.

I start to do so. I pray a little, I focus on The Four (or at least 3rd of 4). I visualize myself with my Aeons. Nothing. I feel nothing. They are not real to me. They could be as distant and flat as a picture on the wall. As the ancient painting of someone else’s god.

I ‘ground’ my energy, and I open up that line from center of the galaxy to core of the earth, the superstring that goes right through me. Nothing. I feel nothing. My body is a stranger to the very idea, it seems. My chakras living in hiding… I can’t sense them at all.

I think of the ‘Largers’ as I call them, Aeons I’m inside, instead of being composed by. Their bigger energy. The spike in sexual energy they seemed to bring. I bring them to me.

But it’s

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at In Neutral

The Host in the Machine

This early morning’s dream was pretty entertaining. I love it when a dream has something really kinesthetic, something you feel through yourself in a very tangible sense, and it’s something truly different.

I was lying face down when I awoke. Slow to come to awareness. I’d fallen. Hadn’t I? I couldn’t remember what the hell had happened. Last thing I remember . . . I was dying. Was I dead? No. I didn’t feel dead. I actually felt as if I should have that feeling one has a bad morning after getting your ass kicked with fight or alcohol, like you were hit by a freight train in the night. But I didn’t feel bad. Just… sort of empty. Odd.

“He’s awake,” I heard a man’s voice say, somewhere across the room from the way my head was facing. Sonofabitch! It was him. Wasn’t he killing me last time I checked?? I thought I opened my eyes but it was still dark. I squinted and tried again and there we go . . . I was in a room like a large office. I lifted just my head up very slightly, hearing this interesting sound that seemed to come from my neck in a couple places when I did so, and I looked around me. I was lying on something like a long flat couch, the sort that comes in two’s with a corner table over one of them. This one was just one, a solid flat cushion.

“Check him

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at The Host in the Machine

The Magi and the Visitor

I had this truly amazing dream last night. Now it’s amazing I remembered the dream at all. I’ve worked like 7:30am to midnight or a few hours later this entire week. I haven’t meditated in a long time, gah. Tomorrow I am just sleeping! But I woke up not long after it so maybe that is why. Then it’s taken me like 16 hours to write it down.

I was ‘sitting in’ I think on the Queen. But it had a completely different quality than any dream I ever had.

It felt real. I mean most people would think sure, all dreams feel real. No. Not until this one did I realize how far from true that is. I’ve heard people refer to a perceptual experience of “realer-than-real” but I think I just ran into one.

I/she (I will say she for convenience now) wanted to travel, like magically, into another… place or dimension. She was wearing this kind of fascinating dress, like all one piece of cloth, it had a hood up, thin white fabric very lightwhite, and a really low cut in the middle, long dress, it had a rather odd combination effect of youth, beauty, sexy yet virginal.

She thought she could actually pull it off, going to this place. Wouldn’t that be cool?

And she focused for awhile and worked on it and then made the nearly herculean effort and — there was a painting on the wall. That wasn’t there before, right? No! This was

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at The Magi and the Visitor