I’m a multi-tasker by nature. In fact, it often seems like my life is just one long confusing series of trying to multitask far more focuses than I have time, energy and hands to handle.

Normally, I find myself torn with priorities, trying to do different things cyclically, trying to get to everything at least a little bit. All my interests and my hobbies and my friends and my online acquaintances and my website projects and my work’s extra areas and my kid and my house and my landscape and my family and the million errands and obligations that make up a modern life.

But for quite some time now, actually since not long after my last post here, I’ve been so heavily grounded in the basics that I don’t even think about anything else. I don’t even daydream of anything except stuff related to my home, my property, my kid. I don’t feel any sense of conflicting other obligations.  I do have them; I just don’t feel them. I don’t feel any sense of worry about all the things I’m “supposed” to be doing, or all the people I do care about but am not focused on right now who are probably a little offended I’ve fallen off the map.

Instead, I think about the daffodils in my yard, and my plans for the garden and lawncare. I think about our hydroponic gardens on the table and the newborn kittens in the back room. I spend a lot of time working out what we’re going to eat that will be healthy and taste good too, and then cleaning up the never ending mess of a kitchen that results from an eating plan where everything you eat is whole-foods-needs-cooking in nature. I think about work, a little, and there’s plenty to do there during the day. Mostly, I just think about ‘life’.

I’m not doing much of anything else. In specific, I’m not really focused on anything metaphysical. I talked with Nero about it very briefly some time ago. He seemed to think it was the way it was and didn’t really matter.

It used to be that if I went awhile without this focus, I would start to panic. Oh I feel so cut off from myself I would find myself saying. I would suddenly recognize that my whole life consisted of “articles and issues of mundania” with no larger pictures, grander plans, etc. And into my juggled-chaos I would then start trying to bring more of the esoteric in.

My focus right now is more singular than ever. But I think I’ve come to understand a couple of things recently.

First, that this is healthy. That my chaotic juggling of conflicted priorities was not serving me nor any person, project or focus, well. That there is a time for grounding and I am finally doing it right.

Second, that this is cyclical. The time for me to focus on esoteria will return. But now I get that it’s got a window of time on it. If I don’t “feel like getting around to” meditation or certain disciplines when that window is open above me, so to speak, then the cycle may turn and it will pass, and I’ll have to wait for the next round. The same goes with things in my home life.

It’s like a big sign reminder that I really need to be here, now, fully into the focus on whatever I am doing at a given time, whether it is folding the laundry or talking to spiritual entities: I feel that I need to learn and accept that there are certain “natural cycles” that will bring me closer to one thing or another.

I don’t think I should be so driven by intellectual planning. I think I will accept that to everything there is a season, as the song says. And right now, the season is kittens and daffodils, crockpots and dishes, my day job and my kid.

When those mysterious internal factors that determine one’s place in the cycle become clear, or when I feel the season turn and my focus upon my internal universe grow, then I will work on really doing that with the same amount of non-distracted focus.

And then I’ll be back to blog about psiche things!