Consciously I want to evolve.
My ego resists and I forget.
I blog, re-read, remember.
So I blog for me, mostly.
I have found that:
- → sincere and regular prayer
- → genuinely good intentions
- → present-focus, "interest"
- → extended sense of humor
- → honesty, sharing, healing
- → constant work to discover and release bias in oneself
- →
dogged (to the extreme) effort to pursue awareness and understanding
Leads a person to "interactive insight from the inside." We only grok by going through. Spiritual growth is like all others: you absorb, become aware, and via love (sympathetic rapport and desire to become or absorb) and will (directed intent), that energy becomes part of your singular sense of identity. The 'growth' is in awareness, and with that comes power which is always over Self. Diversity is Legion; Singularity is the I AM. None of this is new or unique. It's simply "unconscious and slow" for most people. I figure I can't help doing it, so I would rather do it well than badly. Darkness is not of the Nothingness. It is not the opposite of light, as it only exists within the realm of light itself. Darkness is just something-ness lacking color. The universe is fundamentally of light, and darkness fails to hold dominance and fails to understand why: its nature precludes it: awareness itself makes all identities children of the light.
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Posted by Palyne on 2009.12.14 I am SO relieved, this is the last of them! This is all the stuff I found in handwritten journal fragments and a few emails. I have more in a ‘book two’ for bewilderness but I cannot find that file anywhere.
This post is just a collection of thoughts and dreams, nothing important just some shamanic and spiritual and psi and odd stuff, same ‘ol. I don’t want to lose these pieces esp as some are slightly ‘dark side’ (which I tend to under-record) and I’m clearing out the physical books, so I’m putting it here for my ‘search’ posterity. Thankfully future blogging should only be current stuff now.
I have not done any meditating in the few days since I’ve been collecting this stuff. I see now that a huge edu was needed for me as I’d forgotten a ton of important stuff esp. about the Four, and chakras, and outer guides, and so on, so I feel it was worth the effort.
Journal fragment, June 25, 2008
I was in a dream having a conversation with someone who was a teacher. I asked him, Do you think I should I be learning to deal with negative spiritual stuff? And he said something I don’t remember (which implied “No”) and then explained at the end of that:
For you should be able to say with a clear heart: “I know nothing of evil; I know only the goodness of the Lord.”
Later, I found I was
Read the full article at Dream Collage
http://www.palyne.com/blog.psiche/dream-collage/
Posted by Palyne on 2009.12.13 After awhile of the Four being gone, I saw them now and then in dreams, only at a distance and briefly. I barely remembered the fragments, but did remember that they were so young. Like small children, even though they looked the same. And then older children, and then teens, and then the next time I saw them they seemed normally matured. I wondered what that meant.
I was standing on the edge of my plateau one day, looking a bit blankly off into the distance from up high. I felt alone. I had only seen the Four distantly and barely, in dreams, aside from that first meditation with IG. I knew they were back, or reborn, or whatever, but that brain-knowing didn’t make up for the heart-lonely of not having them interact with me.
After awhile, it occurred to me that maybe if I wanted them back in my life I could do something to welcome them. Make a place for them inside me manually, so to speak. I focused on the edge of the cliff some distance away, and hollowed much of the cliff out around one square area on the edge, making it a stand-alone piece of high stone, separated from all around it, so you had to fly to reach it.
I built a small 4-sided square white pavilion on the top, using as materials for some of the building silver and gold, lapis lazuli and jasper. There was a big, tall and wide doorway in
Posted by Palyne on 2009.12.13 In Autumn of 2005, in September, the month I turned 40, the other three elements of my soul died.
It was a strange thing, I think now. It had been in mid 1994 that my ‘illusion’ of soul and self had been ripped from me, in the Nothingness experience that I’d had to ‘sacrifice myself’ to. I had nearly committed suicide after that, a biological empty shell, a walking corpse without the god-light inside me. After a few months, the divine inside me I called The Blue Eyes of Soul saved me, brought me to understand I could never truly be separate from anything, and I sobbed my way into almost being normal again that night. Although in reality it took literally years before I was truly enough past that to not feel like it was still haunting me.
I would not have thought there was anything else that could affect me on that level, that inexplicable deep inner self the size of a universe, but apparently there was.
*
I don’t know if these other two things are related, but they were going on with me before the experience occurred so I feel like I should mention them.
First, I began to dream that I had died in my sleep. (This was not at all impossible, health-wise.) I would realize I was in some landscape of the newly-dead, surrounded by people who mostly didn’t realize it yet, but were gradually getting a clue. I would realize I
Posted by Palyne on 2009.12.12 I could hear-via-sense IG’s voice chanting foreign language over me during this. I had forgotten this experience entirely. Even now, nearly four years later, I can almost sense it. Like it must have made a real impression on me. I wonder if this is based on some kind of “genetic memory.”
Journal Fragment, January 10, 2006
Today I had truly mindblowing frolics in my body, and just as I was leaving my inner space later on, as a surprise my IG (inner guide) went digging for something to give me.
He does all kinds of things, ranging from simple stuff (clothes, jewelry, chainmail once, put on or in me that I ‘absorb’) to really weird energy lines etc., but tonight he was searching through boxes and such.
I laughed and said, Wait a minute. You’re in my head. You’re all mental. How can you need to search through anything to find something?!
“It’s a bit like searching memory, but more complex,” he says.
He finally finds some little box, the size/shape you might buy executive pens in, and he opens it repeatedly, and each time there is something different in it. I grok there is some magic number and when he opens it that count, there is a small necklace in there.
It’s an oval of gold. I thought it was a locket at first, but it looked really old, and more like just an oval of
Posted by Palyne on 2009.12.12 This is a few small cleaning center meditation notes from various years, and a cool meditation on chakras that had some new insights for me.
Journal Fragment, July 17, 2002
I SAW a guide! I mean I really SAW him with absolute real-world clarity, amazing!! (It was the asian guy but this was MUCH more clear than ever!) I asked him why I could see him so super-clearly?? and he said I was ready for him. (Then I was like, “I can hear you too! OMG!” hahaha!)
We went to the Cleaning Center for a “body cleansing” med and I worked on what the guide gave me, weird and gross as often. I was cleaning when I stopped and asked him, “Hey, can we somehow send this same cleaning effect to ‘all else in the body of the same shape or circumstance?’ Can you arrange that?” He said yes.
He set up a second holotable, wired into the first one, and I took each piece of the big encrusted yucky blob over to do a cleaning, and strongly “willed” this to every point in the body similar.
Man. I felt like vomiting! I felt so exhausted suddenly. I did the next piece. Each was different. After about six of the major parts, I just had to stop. I feel ill and tired. It’s ok, I think it’s just a lot of toxins in my system all at once. I’ve got to drink major water from now on…
Posted by Palyne on 2009.12.12 A few misc. items relating to RV/psi, and a meditation (ok just sitting around) with the (late… the Four removed him from me/us) internal thoughtform Dor.
Journal Fragment, February 25, 1998
I heard one of my outer guides! I could never hear them before! OK so it’s probably ‘me’ but I could never even hear myself-as-them before.
He said… “Go to the plane that is right at heart level.” The one that I was using awhile ago to sense something… I forget what. I visualize it like a flat sheet of light that connects to the bottom of my chest, sorta.
He said… something like, “That is where the real RV data can be {found/acquired}.”
I had been planning to do an archmed on RV in a little while but he answered my question I guess!
Journal Fragment, Date Unknown
RV Haiku
we seek evidence for the coincidence of our matching data
Journal Fragment, November 10, 2004
Last night while relaxing I had the feel that a man ‘sat down inside me’ like a ghost or psychic. I thought, well perhaps I’m imagining this.
But then I realized that I had completely quit breathing in response, and surely my body wouldn’t spontaneously react so strongly if there was nothing to it.
Journal Fragment, May 17, 2005
I had this dream. This is like ‘abstracted through 7 levels’ to get to words, so it sounds like one trite thing on
Posted by Palyne on 2009.12.12 This was a brief collection of pages from a period when I was reading about and performing something called Enochian Magick. Initially I was very impressed with how powerful this is, with how present the identities are psychically. I later had a real problem with it, because every time I would focus on this energy, entities I dislike (the Guardians of earth as property, the cat-eyed lizard guys) would show up and drag me OBE.
I also later griped about Enochian that there is no clear map to how the tablets/entities relate to US, like where humans are on there. And the ‘call of the Aethyrs’, translated, is like saying, bring on armageddon and open this world to the bad guys–gee, let’s do some of that, NOT. What the hell?!
I feel it is a legitimate and very powerful magick, and it “includes” — overlaps, you might say — legitimate elements of our universe. What I mean is that some of what’s involved, e.g. the 30 Aethyrs, are legit ‘dimensions’. Enochian does not “own” the Aethyrs and their content any more than the Catholic church “owns” the Christ energy. It is simply the only model currently that mentions to us their existence.
But I feel that much of Enochian working is not in accordance with my Will; with whatever God I am loyal to and part of. Some is “neutral” — dimensions and entities exist, without regard to my intent — but some (like the Call, and like the Guardians)
Posted by Palyne on 2009.12.12 I had forgotten a lot of my previous work with previous Inner Guides. I had forgotten that they taught me things, talked to me now and then, and that “lessons” were often involved. This is important stuff, geez. Practical hands-on energy stuff.
I regret spacing this out. I see that in fact, I have spaced out many ‘fluency’ points, my works with IGs and OGs and more, that I had forgotten were even possible.
I understand now why I’ve been driven to collect old accounts. Not only have I seen a lot of new things via the ‘connective’ overview, but I’ve been reminded of a lot of options and opportunity.
I think this was the change from IG#2 to IG#3. (I am currently 12/12/09 on IG#4. The change from 3 to 4 is here.)
Journal Fragment (a later part of another med), January 11, 2006
I reminded myself to get to the med already. I went down into the arch area and when my guide went to get up, like to hug me or say hi, I saw that he was leaning on a silver cane with his left hand. My Inner Guide was injured?! I couldn’t even imagine such a thing so I started thinking, what does this mean, why am I creating this? I go to him and I realize that this is different, but I feel it must be done: I have to work on him as if he is an archetype.
So I
Posted by Palyne on 2009.12.12 I had forgotten about this meditation approach: Create a ‘geometry’ which ‘is’ a given energy. This is like that geometric language you feel inside you, that some say is called the Angelic language, where the geometric shapes ‘are’ the ‘ISness’, the thing itself being communicated. Then you are plugging it in” to the programming control center of yourself.
I remembered the last part, but not the first about making it a geometry that feels right, and I think this is very important and more powerful somehow. Also I had forgotten the part about ‘conflict resolution’, I think that is important too.
Also I had forgotten that there is a specific “DNA Meditation” that one can do there. Sheesh! Anything else I’m forgetting?? Oh yeah: I had also forgotten that my outer guides (OG) used to work with me so often and often came with me to the body-worlds and did a ton of energy work with me like on my chakras.
The guides in the various science-lab centers ‘inside/under’ the plateau, as a group, that deal with my body, are the overlapping guide-identities that I now call “Tek”.
Journal fragment, July 16, 2002
I was doing a Control Center med, some OGs in there with me too. It totally rocked!
I came up with a single, succinct and direct sentence for what I wanted (“I am very disciplined and have much will”). Then, I had my imagination come up with a geometric shape that “said” exactly that,
Read the full article at Programming the Self
http://www.palyne.com/blog.psiche/programming-the-self/
Posted by Palyne on 2009.12.12 In terms of profound, complex visuals, of staggering clarity and color and depth, this old meditation remains probably the #1 most utterly mindblowing one I’ve ever had in that category. Ever. This was a RELIGIOUS experience it was so intense and astounding. The body, up close and personal inside, is beyond merely amazing. The ‘deva’ aspect was awesome and completely autonomous (that is so amazing when it works that way!).
Journal Fragment, January 9, 2006
The last two days my meditations went nowhere. Literally like the battery was 100% run down. I just sort of existed there and did nothing. But I did make effort as I want to stay consistent.
Today I went in again and I’ve been impressed with how much my visuals, their intensity and detail, has suddenly amped up. It’s like that part of my brain or chakra are just wired for speed now.
I went in and got Brin and Stets (my outer guides) and had the feelings that I needed to do another inside med. Recently in my sacred space a sort of dimensional doorway opened up like a big crack in the plateau, in the middle, and we jump in, and slide down this literal slide for quite awhile, and turn and twist etc. Kinda fun. We end up way deep ‘inside the earth’. Today I had a little time for a meditation and we slid in and landed in a strange place.
It was nearly dark but a
Posted by Palyne on 2009.12.12 So the recent directive or understanding, is that I am integrating my “inner world” with my “outer world”. I am to let all the parts of myself “show me” internally the nature of what I am experiencing externally, which should also allow me to work directly with that energy (such as to change it).
I turns out I was just starting this once, long ago, from a different perspective. But after awhile I quit doing the internal work and forgot all about it.
Journal fragment, 11 January 2006
I’ll call this ‘Internal Katas’
Three ways I can work on an energy pattern and/or my relationship with it.
1 – Create an archetype. This is a relationship “reality” pattern, etc. on the outside, only.
2 – Get inside that matrix, e.g. merge with it, and then work on the new me from inside that.
3 – Find that pattern within myself. Everything outside, sources from inside. “Replicate locally the nonlocal pattern by revealing the existing points-patterns internally which match.”
I understood: The latter is the root of psi practices (like remote viewing).
Now it’s my job to practice. The kata: look inside for the pattern, creature, body-effect, which matches things in my outer reality.
P
Posted by Palyne on 2009.12.12 journal fragment 26 July 1997
It was a deep, catacombed cave. We had reached this cave through a heavy, thick, door-like entrance that was somehow so cold.
There was a man there, who was a white man and a black man both. The dark one was in charge, and he/they were also female. {This is me and the Four. -P}
He showed me this old skull he had, it had a very long head. I said, yes, I was wondering about those just recently — L knew of those! I saw one in a pic! We discussed it and understood it was a race of people who had come to this planet and when they left, they had taken their dead with them, except a few they missed because they didn’t know where they were.
There was an axe that had been used to kill people, an ancient axe, possibly asian I felt, and it seemed like it was almost sentient in some way. We/I put my hand over it, and I could feel the “coldness” of it, not just temperature cold, some other element involved with that.
It had a pressure against my hand, like a force field, and I fought it, and then suddenly my fingers and hand at the edges burned sharply a little as the energy sheath or whatever dissolved.
I thought I had won that little battle. But then psychically, we saw a corpse rise up out of a grave and come to
Read the full article at The Cold Soul
http://www.palyne.com/blog.psiche/the-cold-soul/
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Reality = Physiology = Psychology = Spirituality = Cosmology = Geometry = Number = Sound = Form There is no difference.  Posts  Comments Identity is an arbitrary collection of consciousness assigned a title. My work is not just study; it's prayer, it's mental techniques, it's life habits. It's not just about inner worlds; discipline and physical environment matter. It's not just spiritual; my body and world is part of it. It's not just esoteric; everything corresponds integrally — the mundane, the arcane, the divine. It's not just an '-ology'; my own identity, body, reality, psyche is key to it all. The only tenets of truth I hold are based on personal experience.This effort has spanned my life, but not until ~1994 did it become intentional, not 'til late '00s did it become fairly 'serious'. I've gone through many models and philosophies over time, but now I've none except what experience teach me. I am ever the student, but I've reached a point of "fluency" and "internal guidance" where I don't care about labels or other peoples' paradigms.
CATEGORIES on this blog are extensive and nested. Most everything that matters or repeats much has a category.
The TAGS are just minor notes of reference trivia. They are usually a rare experience, or an observation about something I read.
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