I have found that:
  • → sincere prayer
  • → genuine intentions
  • → present-focus
  • → extended humor
  • → careful integrity
  • → constant work to discover and release all forms of bias in oneself
  • → dogged effort to pursue awareness, divine guidance and understanding
Leads a person to "interactive insight from the inside."

Consciously I want to evolve.
My ego resists strenuously.
I surreally "forget" so much!
So I blog for myself, mostly:
to re-read and remember.

People ask me where to begin with the complexity of the stuff on my blog. But my imaginal and related work spans 25 years as of 2016. So the real answer is "I don't know." I can't put all that in a sound bite. And one would have to understand, not just intellectually but experientially, a lot of it from start to middle to begin to understand where I am now. It is 'active imagination' work, resting on an extremely 'open' definition of archetype and energy, mapped at times to various occult patterns because they seem useful and otherwise just loosely personal; but that's not all. Short of how the blog speaks for itself that's about all I can say about it. It's a path I've built myself, for one. ~ Palyne

In the human spirit, as in the universe, nothing is higher or lower; everything has equal rights to a common center which manifests its hidden existence precisely through this harmonic relationship between every part and itself.
-- Goethe

Angels transcend every religion, every philosophy, every creed. In fact angels have no religion as we know it... their existence precedes every religious system that has ever existed on earth.
-- St. Thomas Aquinas

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In the beginning all was indivisible. And in becoming manifest, it became, seemingly, divisible. But the divisions must evolve to recognize themselves, and each other, and to then accept themselves, to truly know themselves by knowing each other. To begin, they are blended, confused; it is chaos, it is legion. They are all on the journey to indivisibility, to singularity, to the I AM. The point, of course, is not the destination, but the journey.

-- insight during the Princess of Disks meditation

Spiritual growth is like all other types: you absorb seemingly 'other' energy, and it becomes part of your own sense of identity. The growth is in awareness, and with that comes power which is always over Self.
Diversity is Legion;
Singularity is the I AM.
None of this is new although my approach to it is my own. -- Palyne

Inner Guide is Angelic. She is free of anything akin to doctrine. I call her an Angel because that is the only word I have for it, and because I know, all the way through me, that this is our word for her fundamentally divine nature. Aside from that, I don’t even know what she IS exactly, or what it means, or where it would fit into any model. She is life sized, soul wide, colors and gems and flowers and songs, everything beautiful that ever was, condensed into an identity I am completely in love with–except she feels like part of me too, so it’s like also being in love with yourself, and also with God, and also with the whole universe, both every tiny thing in your mundania, and ‘awareness’ as something so utterly, mind-bogglingly amazing — how could this exist? How could this not exist? How could I ever understand such a thing? — I am left only with joy, with awe.
-- on Inner Guide #4, aka 'Sedaena'. The first IG I had genuine conversation (and reading) with; the first real sign of my HGA.

He is so much inside and outside me, larger than me and yet the light of the tiniest particles of me, I don’t even have a word for whatever it is that he IS. I call him angelic and inner guide and the name he gave me because I have no idea what else to call this. It’s a Being and a Thing and an Event and a Place and a Relationship and… it’s like there is no label that is remotely big enough to encompass whatever it IS.
-- on Inner Guide #5, aka 'Mark.'

The boundary between the imaginational and imaginal is rather fuzzy and it is a developed skill and art to learn to stay there; to maintain your own autonomy while allowing the-others’ autonomy; to be shocked, astounded, grossed out, effused, and other surprise emotions from the interaction; all this without getting lost in the experience like a dream, yet also without pulling back to controlling the experience like a daydream. The former is being swept away by the river, and the latter is standing on the shore thinking about it; learning to walk the fine line of control and allowance to stay in that ‘imaginal realm’ actually takes practice. Crazy people think it’s all autonomous and happening ‘to’ them; people unable to allow this for themselves, may think it’s all imagination; and they’d both be right, because they are both lost; the goal is a whole world that bridges and encompasses both of those.

-- on "Interworlds Meditation"

Q: Where are you now?

Me: Well, back in my own reality.

Q: Wrong. You are in a reality version that distraction and denial have made for you.

Me: How do I get out?

Q: Wrong question. There is no space, there is no time. Where are you again?

Me: Oh. I’m wherever I "pay attention" to being.

Q: Right. You PAY attention. It is the currency of your soul. You rent your reality. Never forget that. The choice to move is yours.

Dealing with the unconscious has become a question of life for us.
The play of the imagination is incalculable.
~ Carl Jung

The imaginary can be innocuous, the imaginal never can.
~ Henry Corbin

A calling may be postponed, avoided, intermittently missed. It may also possess you completely. Whatever; eventually it will out. It makes its claim. The daimon does not go away.
~ James Hillman

There comes a time when the mind takes a higher plane of knowledge but can never prove how it got there.
-- Albert Einstein


This blog documents much of my work in the "inter-worlds" of a greater-self. It's not just esoteric: every thing corresponds — the mundane, the arcane, the divine. If it had to be summed up you might say it is "a universe of personalization." A strange place where monotheism and ultimate-pantheism are one and the same.

I am a natural mystic, if spontaneous experiences determine such a thing. I am not religious in any way; only guidance from the inside drives me. No identities or models unless they are introduced to me from the inside. (Sometimes I use them simply for interest, or because their models are convenient doorways -- but I accept none of their doctrines.) I briefly studied theology at one point, independently (I consider constant prayer a valid part of edu too), and where it led me was "anywhere-else." It's fine for others of course. I consider the heart of free will to be that everyone has their own road. Or as Heinlein once wrote, the right to go to hell in their own handbasket.

This tends to make me obsessed with the divine yet not religious at all, in any form, which is often confusing to onlookers. I am ever in love with and in closer pursuit of integration with The Christ (which I consider a solar-planetary deity, exceeding and preceding all possible religion, though cyclically present within our species) but I'm not remotely a modern Christian, and this also tends to be very confusing to onlookers. I'm a student of archetypes and pattern systems, yet not a jungian intellectual - armchair philosophy bores me - nor a power occultist - which has its own issues (and uniforms) to say the least.

After nearly two decades of certain experiences I felt alone with and thought were unique to me, it turns out I find some harmony in the gnostic writings. I didn't get it from there, and am not fond of that doctrine and the paradigms it came in with, so I ignore it. Which means despite talking about just a few things specific to it (by unknowing accident until a few years ago), I'm not part of that model either.

The road I walk is my own. It doesn't really have an easy label or anybody else on it, that I can see. This is between me and God, so it doesn't really need to work for anybody else. I used to wish I wasn't the only person with such experiences or practices, and started a blog in part in the hope I might find others with something similar. Maybe a need for community. I'm over that now, at least I think. I walk alone, but Light is with me. Can't ask for more than that.

-- Palyne

When we understand that perception is as much about source as target; that energy is a spectrum and best psi perception comes from the center, its balance and blend; that the manifest communication of our Selves is the literal 'reality' we experience; that everything in that reality is a profound 3D language element; that insight with the ‘center’ of spectrum is likely to be via the language-symbols of 'reality;' that these need to be interpreted at the level they are received; this is the path for intentional psi.
-- Insight on the Art of RV

Aeon Round, Weaving

I was going to call my friend and go to sleep when I thought, well I should do an Aeon Round first. I grabbed my beads and made myself comfortable. Ithikah, I said, how about you help me here. What could I do that would be novel and neat?

He had this idea about ‘sewing’ the energy of me into each Aeon or vice-versa but no matter how I went about that I had this sort of feeling like ‘something punctured’ so that just didn’t work. We thought of other ideas and discarded them. We came back to the first and looked at alternatives, strings, etc. when I said, hey wait! IG used to “weave me” with RV targets when I was doing archetype-RV. Basically she would ‘unwind us’ into a string that she ‘wove’ with the other from the feet up until we were ‘merged’. I would keep that until after feedback and then she would “de-weave” us.

That’s how experiences like the one with the target of Ganymede (more sentient than I am, it turns out) happened, because I was still ‘merged’ with it when I was getting feedback, so G’s opinion on our opinion on what G was like was suddenly apparent, as if it were viewing or in rapport with me, and it all took off from there.That weaving was definitely in line with the ‘threads’ concept Ithikah had so we both loved the idea, and IG was clearly game to help out. She did it

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Aeon Round, Weaving

Novelty in Energy Work

It is a little like ditching the standard formula prayer (dear god/you’re cool/gimme stuff/in Jesus’s name/I’m done) and working on truly being spontaneous and inspired and free-form and making every communication genuinely from the heart and unique to that moment.

I did an archmed yesterday on “whatever I am most resistant about,” which I then modified, “I mean, which I am capable of working with,” because I suddenly had the feeling that ‘the most resistant’ thing would just fall out of my brain because I am, well, that resistant, haha. The archetype was so interesting. I was surprised I could see it at all let alone well. Then I was surprised that I found it pretty, which is rare to doesn’t-even-happen for things I am usually resistant to.

The figure was like human but instead of a head there was this fat flat post like where the neck would be and then instead of a head, that post sprouted two wide saturns-rings-like round shapes (half on each) that came around and left some open space in front. The flat open-front ring-like shape was sparkly deep-blue glitter with other sparkly glitters of metallics and deep green. I was so surprised that I found it so pretty, as I’d expected something either hard to see or yucky. [Later edit 24MAR2012: I just noticed something odd; the rich deep sparkly color of this, and my sense of beauty, reminds me greatly of my brief experience (recent) seeing the Heart Chakra. I don’t suppose this could have been a chakra or an archetype ‘influenced by’ the translated visual of one?)

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Novelty in Energy Work

Power Grids

I forgot to mention this.

On 12/20 evening I posted this focus med with Bolehren which was a meditation that included an issue with a “power grid” and burnout and so on.

I didn’t even realize this sync until just now. But on 12/22 the entire wall behind me in my bedroom (which is also the wall of the kitchen) burned out. Its power is gone — nothing works on that wall at all now. Dang it!

You would think the meditation would have improved whatever issue existed but I guess not. Anyway I think it’s important to pay attention to the reality-symbols that reflect the ‘inner shape of me’. I don’t really know what this means.

In my secret life, though, not unnatural guilt this time but legitimate wish-it-weren’t-true-ness, I have to note that for some time I have really trashed my body’s main power source, by having incredibly little protein or supplements, and lousy food to make things much worse, and which gives me asthma so when I sleep I don’t get enough oxygen. Combining under-proteining with under-oxygenation is really deadly to me and makes me so exhausted. The kitchen where the toaster plugs in (gluten in bread is the main offender), and my bed headboard, are probably the two most likely ‘reality symbol’ associations with a “problem with the power grid” of my body caused by this. And it just so happens that the plugs right behind those two areas both fried and died. Probably

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Power Grids

Noisy Humans

I’m really enjoying sleeping lately, since I nearly always seem to dream answers to any question or idea I had before sleeping, and at least half-remember it on awakening.

After falling asleep again this morning (after blogging my crown-chakra dream and then talking to my friend by phone), I had two dreams I remembered on awakening.

The first one addressed a conversation we had about heart vs. crown chakra although it also had, I think maybe 2nd chakra involved. Unfortunately I do not remember that dream. I only remember thinking that he had been correct regarding the “equal divinity of all.” He was saying how many people consider the crown chakra “more spiritual” or in some way better than others. But anybody who’s met Jesus, definitely king of the christ-consciousness heart chakra, knows that one is just as divine, though different.

We’d talked about how the crown chakra brought a sort of intelligent-insight-understanding, like all is as it should be, without any ‘attachment’ to the world. But how on its own, it sort of removes the passion. Having the other chakras open to balance that, is important.

Anyway. We’d also talked about how different kinds of intelligence might have different perception… a little about my perceiving on two occasions a spider.

In the second dream, I think I may have “absorbed some perspective.” Heh.

I was in some other world, moving along some path in the outdoors, with a fence and field to my left and something like a bunch

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Noisy Humans

The Fountain of Crown

Lately every time I wake up it’s with the understanding that one of my chakras is ‘talking to me’. I know, funny huh. It’s just that I usually can’t hold on to whatever it was, which is so exasperating.

As for which might have been the one talking to me, generally I have no idea. I don’t know how I can say I even knew that much to begin with, as there isn’t really any “feel” associated with them. I mean much like the Consortium — on the “seamless” moments as they might call it — there is simply no feel of “other” for me to “recognize”. It’s not that I “feel” a chakra was talking to me. I simply know it, in an understanding, like something so obvious there is no questioning of this. Which is good or I would probably be questioning it…

This morning I know I was talking to the crown chakra because I remember a small fraction — just a tiny percentage — of what was accompanying the words. I wish I remembered more, but maybe if I really focus on writing down the pieces I can hold, the “focus” will increase and I will get to keep more of this stuff in the future. Actually I have the feeling if I just start with what I have I will pull in more, so here goes:

The crown doesn’t start at the crown. Actually I knew this from a previous few moments of ‘feel’ and

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at The Fountain of Crown

Rambling 24Dec09

It’s easy to get distracted and just forget to blog. While the mere shreds of memory remain, I’d better record them.

Archmeds: I did one with IG on ‘whatever I most need to deal with current issues of denial’ or something like that. The arch looked like those oversized robot tanks in that movie ‘Avatar’ (go see it on the big screen!). It was very difficult to stay mentally focused. I felt like I was out of practice or something.

Dreams: I had a nightmare about this grassy-vine that was taking over the entire planet. It would grow from nothing, like a virus that grew into green wisps and then a sort of long grass and then that developed into vines and it was sentient and killed people, grew ‘through’ them at crazy speed if they were still/sleeping anywhere near it, specifically would go through their eyes and heart and that would kill them. More and more of the earth was uninhabitable because of this stuff and I was watching it, at one point, really close up, in amazingly vivid detail. I wondered on awakening if that was some kind of body detail (like fighting off a viral infection) or if it was some chakra thing or some gaia-like thing.

Aeons: I did the round yesterday but otherwise have been very poor at doing that recently although I’ve occasionally talked to one in my head. During the round I realized I had just said, with gushing affection to Taan, “I

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Rambling 24Dec09

Focus med: Bolehren

I did a focus med on Ithikah last Tuesday. Bolehren was supposed to be the next evening, Wednesday, but I put her off. It wasn’t until last night that I saw an interesting sort of timing-sync. Now that I see this, I am wondering…

When I do archetype meditations, if I begin a meditation, basically “open up” that energy, and I do not finish it, that energy runs rampant in my life and in my head. On problem issues this really IS a problem. It’s often the thing that forces me to get my act together and get back in and finish the work, because of all the chaos in my life from that energy bouncing all over, and I can track it to ‘that energy’ by the detail.

Well I had intended to work with Bo until pretty much the last minute I had a “denial” attack and wandered off to do anything that wasn’t meditating. So I’m wondering if, by my intent, I essentially had already kind of opened up the process even if I hadn’t got to uttering the words yet.

The day after I was supposed to work with Bo, I had such a bad day as far as people are concerned. By the end of the day I was convinced “everybody dislikes me!” I just felt so crummy about it. I haven’t felt like that in so many eons I can’t remember. (Not because everybody likes me, mind you, but because I only require a

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Focus med: Bolehren

Re-Incarnation or what?

My friend K commented (on The Cold Soul):

I hate the thought of reincarnation, though more and more things nudge me to admit that it’s a strong possibility, for this very reason. You might be living your life as best you can, thinking you are a relatively good person, but in actuality, you aren’t and you weren’t and you’re going to have to deal with something nasty “you” did thousands of years ago. Except you don’t remember any of it, so you can’t react in a way that provides long-term (across lifetimes) benefit because you have no idea what the hell is going on.

I totally know what you mean!! I wanted to respond but wanted to make it something larger than a comment.


My own relationship to this concept was an odd way coming. I thought that it began in adulthood, when I started intellectually struggling with the details and how I felt about them. But now I see that it pinged me off and on through my life. I have several of the moments written down so I will put them here as a sort of linear overview.

Around age 12 … I had gone with my older sister to the beach. I was swimming in the ocean, where the waves were delightfully ferocious on occasion. All us children and teenagers in the water shouted gleefully at the biggest waves, and we would dive underneath them to avoid their breaking on us.

This went

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Re-Incarnation or what?

Rambling 16Dec09

I was half-awake. Some interactive half-dream surprised me in some way. I woke up fully with a sudden idea.

Dear God (and everyone else), I prayed. Please help me to see things as they truly are.

After a few minutes of unusual in-my-head activity, I was asked by some part of me,

What makes you think you are capable of understanding things as they truly are?

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Rambling 16Dec09

Focus Med: Ithikah

I hadn’t meditated in a few days, and the Aeons were calling so I did the round.

But I’ve been thinking about how I used to meditate sometimes (eons ago): just “go in there” and hang around, talk to (outer) guides, follow where things lead. I haven’t done that in a long time because I simply forgot about it. Yet many of my most amazing and spontaneous experiences happened during those casual focus times, much like the best songs you write may happen “by spontaneous accident” during the casual practice you do daily.

I decided that I should just start at the beginning (Ithikah is at the top of the round) and one by one, go through each Aeon, and just spend some quality time with them. I imagined “that-energy” being integrated with mine in great detail from above my head to below my feet, slowly going through the whole body with it, which took awhile. I said a variety of spontaneous prayers. I talked to him, though I wasn’t getting much conversation back. Then I hung around “being” with him.

The impressions I got were a little like symbolic remote viewing data. I don’t know what any of them mean. But I trust if I record this, then eventually experience will cumulate and I will begin to see what the previous symbols meant. Of course… it’s unlikely I’m going to make nearly this much effort in the documentation as I am with this first example LOL. The following images

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Focus Med: Ithikah

Astral Geeks

Today I feel like an idiot. It only just became clear to me that even during my most focused, vivid and dedicated meditation periods, I’ve been like a fool stumbling down the high wire, oblivious and too lazily disorganized to bother learning anything from any of the previous steps.

Since my efforts are like nothing-nothing-nothing-OBSESS!-nothing in cycles, every year or two I have a ‘period’ that almost stands alone for experience. It is so separated from other periods, and my recall is so quickly iffy on this stuff anyway, that it’s like a bad alzheimers joke. (“New guides every day!”) Outside of the Four and IG, I’m lucky to remember anything at all.

I get very clearly from my recent ‘review’ that the energy of the Senior is a ‘symbol’ that repeats. When I see black, or rectangles, it’s his energy. I tripped over a whole variety of dreams where thick rectangles were involved, over meditations where archetypes had a rectangle sticking out of their head, stuff like that. Did I get it? Of course not. Because I’ve never really tried to keep track of different symbols and associations. That would make sense. We wouldn’t want that!

I also tripped over all kinds of stuff that lacked useful detail. “And a cat…” or “And this big monster-thing…” Yeah? What kind? What color? I didn’t think to write that down. Geez, in an entire universe operating on SYMBOL — sounds, colors, textures, shapes —

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Astral Geeks

Rambling 14Dec09

Thoughts/questions/experiences sparked by recent materials I found and a couple exercises.


What is really the difference between the archetype of an energy and the energy? I know officially it is ‘my relationship’ with that thing; not that-thing-itself. But how could I perceive it without my relationship in the way anyway?

Is it impossible to truly perceive any thing as it truly is?

The-thing-itself, I suspect, would always be a geometry. Does that mean that everything manifest that doesn’t come across like an 11-D geometric shape is, actually, an ‘archetype’? A symbol or translation?

So we are walking around an entire landscape of “symbols not things”? Skyscrapers and flowers and cats and cars… no different than if they were green cubes and yellow tetrahedrons that chirped?

Is it that we acclimatize to the symbols and so we hard-wire the neural perception like a shortcut to meaning, and we start thinking that every thing IS instead the symbol?

Do the QBL (Kabbalah) “correspondences” have validity because everything we perceive is not a ‘thing’ but ‘an archetype/symbol’? So it’s not that there are things, and then symbolic meaning; it’s that everything is symbolic meaning.

It’s not that we have a viewing target of the Eiffel Tower and get symbolic data; it’s that the target itself IS symbolic, because everything is. There is no such thing as literal data only matching-symbols. Hmmn. That might give a different idea regarding RV data if I think about it enough.

Does a

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Rambling 14Dec09