I have found that:
  • → sincere prayer
  • → genuine intentions
  • → present-focus
  • → extended humor
  • → careful integrity
  • → constant work to discover and release all forms of bias in oneself
  • → dogged effort to pursue awareness, divine guidance and understanding
Leads a person to "interactive insight from the inside."

Consciously I want to evolve.
My ego resists strenuously.
I surreally "forget" so much!
So I blog for myself, mostly:
to re-read and remember.

People ask me where to begin with the complexity of the stuff on my blog. But my imaginal and related work spans 25 years as of 2016. So the real answer is "I don't know." I can't put all that in a sound bite. And one would have to understand, not just intellectually but experientially, a lot of it from start to middle to begin to understand where I am now. It is 'active imagination' work, resting on an extremely 'open' definition of archetype and energy, mapped at times to various occult patterns because they seem useful and otherwise just loosely personal; but that's not all. Short of how the blog speaks for itself that's about all I can say about it. It's a path I've built myself, for one. ~ Palyne

In the human spirit, as in the universe, nothing is higher or lower; everything has equal rights to a common center which manifests its hidden existence precisely through this harmonic relationship between every part and itself.
-- Goethe

Angels transcend every religion, every philosophy, every creed. In fact angels have no religion as we know it... their existence precedes every religious system that has ever existed on earth.
-- St. Thomas Aquinas

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In the beginning all was indivisible. And in becoming manifest, it became, seemingly, divisible. But the divisions must evolve to recognize themselves, and each other, and to then accept themselves, to truly know themselves by knowing each other. To begin, they are blended, confused; it is chaos, it is legion. They are all on the journey to indivisibility, to singularity, to the I AM. The point, of course, is not the destination, but the journey.

-- insight during the Princess of Disks meditation

Spiritual growth is like all other types: you absorb seemingly 'other' energy, and it becomes part of your own sense of identity. The growth is in awareness, and with that comes power which is always over Self.
Diversity is Legion;
Singularity is the I AM.
None of this is new although my approach to it is my own. -- Palyne

Inner Guide is Angelic. She is free of anything akin to doctrine. I call her an Angel because that is the only word I have for it, and because I know, all the way through me, that this is our word for her fundamentally divine nature. Aside from that, I don’t even know what she IS exactly, or what it means, or where it would fit into any model. She is life sized, soul wide, colors and gems and flowers and songs, everything beautiful that ever was, condensed into an identity I am completely in love with–except she feels like part of me too, so it’s like also being in love with yourself, and also with God, and also with the whole universe, both every tiny thing in your mundania, and ‘awareness’ as something so utterly, mind-bogglingly amazing — how could this exist? How could this not exist? How could I ever understand such a thing? — I am left only with joy, with awe.
-- on Inner Guide #4, aka 'Sedaena'. The first IG I had genuine conversation (and reading) with; the first real sign of my HGA.

He is so much inside and outside me, larger than me and yet the light of the tiniest particles of me, I don’t even have a word for whatever it is that he IS. I call him angelic and inner guide and the name he gave me because I have no idea what else to call this. It’s a Being and a Thing and an Event and a Place and a Relationship and… it’s like there is no label that is remotely big enough to encompass whatever it IS.
-- on Inner Guide #5, aka 'Mark.'

The boundary between the imaginational and imaginal is rather fuzzy and it is a developed skill and art to learn to stay there; to maintain your own autonomy while allowing the-others’ autonomy; to be shocked, astounded, grossed out, effused, and other surprise emotions from the interaction; all this without getting lost in the experience like a dream, yet also without pulling back to controlling the experience like a daydream. The former is being swept away by the river, and the latter is standing on the shore thinking about it; learning to walk the fine line of control and allowance to stay in that ‘imaginal realm’ actually takes practice. Crazy people think it’s all autonomous and happening ‘to’ them; people unable to allow this for themselves, may think it’s all imagination; and they’d both be right, because they are both lost; the goal is a whole world that bridges and encompasses both of those.

-- on "Interworlds Meditation"

Q: Where are you now?

Me: Well, back in my own reality.

Q: Wrong. You are in a reality version that distraction and denial have made for you.

Me: How do I get out?

Q: Wrong question. There is no space, there is no time. Where are you again?

Me: Oh. I’m wherever I "pay attention" to being.

Q: Right. You PAY attention. It is the currency of your soul. You rent your reality. Never forget that. The choice to move is yours.

Dealing with the unconscious has become a question of life for us.
The play of the imagination is incalculable.
~ Carl Jung

The imaginary can be innocuous, the imaginal never can.
~ Henry Corbin

A calling may be postponed, avoided, intermittently missed. It may also possess you completely. Whatever; eventually it will out. It makes its claim. The daimon does not go away.
~ James Hillman

There comes a time when the mind takes a higher plane of knowledge but can never prove how it got there.
-- Albert Einstein


This blog documents much of my work in the "inter-worlds" of a greater-self. It's not just esoteric: every thing corresponds — the mundane, the arcane, the divine. If it had to be summed up you might say it is "a universe of personalization." A strange place where monotheism and ultimate-pantheism are one and the same.

I am a natural mystic, if spontaneous experiences determine such a thing. I am not religious in any way; only guidance from the inside drives me. No identities or models unless they are introduced to me from the inside. (Sometimes I use them simply for interest, or because their models are convenient doorways -- but I accept none of their doctrines.) I briefly studied theology at one point, independently (I consider constant prayer a valid part of edu too), and where it led me was "anywhere-else." It's fine for others of course. I consider the heart of free will to be that everyone has their own road. Or as Heinlein once wrote, the right to go to hell in their own handbasket.

This tends to make me obsessed with the divine yet not religious at all, in any form, which is often confusing to onlookers. I am ever in love with and in closer pursuit of integration with The Christ (which I consider a solar-planetary deity, exceeding and preceding all possible religion, though cyclically present within our species) but I'm not remotely a modern Christian, and this also tends to be very confusing to onlookers. I'm a student of archetypes and pattern systems, yet not a jungian intellectual - armchair philosophy bores me - nor a power occultist - which has its own issues (and uniforms) to say the least.

After nearly two decades of certain experiences I felt alone with and thought were unique to me, it turns out I find some harmony in the gnostic writings. I didn't get it from there, and am not fond of that doctrine and the paradigms it came in with, so I ignore it. Which means despite talking about just a few things specific to it (by unknowing accident until a few years ago), I'm not part of that model either.

The road I walk is my own. It doesn't really have an easy label or anybody else on it, that I can see. This is between me and God, so it doesn't really need to work for anybody else. I used to wish I wasn't the only person with such experiences or practices, and started a blog in part in the hope I might find others with something similar. Maybe a need for community. I'm over that now, at least I think. I walk alone, but Light is with me. Can't ask for more than that.

-- Palyne

When we understand that perception is as much about source as target; that energy is a spectrum and best psi perception comes from the center, its balance and blend; that the manifest communication of our Selves is the literal 'reality' we experience; that everything in that reality is a profound 3D language element; that insight with the ‘center’ of spectrum is likely to be via the language-symbols of 'reality;' that these need to be interpreted at the level they are received; this is the path for intentional psi.
-- Insight on the Art of RV

Rambling 29nov09

So I went googling, and all I found is a bunch of complex religious crap that is way more confusion than enlightenment, way more human-says-something-godlike-says-about-god than anything I recognize as ‘Of the Light’.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Rambling 29nov09

Aeons, “Sethians”, History

Well this will teach me to inquire. Maybe I don’t want to know!

I was out Googling when I saw something called “Sethian” Gnosticism. I ignored it the first few times I saw it. When I refer to ‘Seth’ it’s a modern channeled entity, not some Egyptian God or biblical figure, I know that name is those things too, so I wasn’t interested.

Later, something else I don’t recall, caused me to visit the relevant page on wiki, where it says — I am not kidding:

This original God went through a series of emanations, during which its essence is seen as spontaneously expanding into many successive ‘generations’ of paired male and female beings, called ‘aeons’.

Well I guess we know where my brain came up with the Aeons term as used for some kind of ‘entity’. Even though I have zero conscious recollection of seeing that, ever — I didn’t even understand how the term, which I perceive as a measure of time or space, could be used that way. But since it already exists, I have to assume I saw it and simply don’t remember.

As a point of humor, a friend of mine once made an archetype blog called “archon” — I think some comic book had a character with that name. But on that same page, about this apparently offbeat philosophical line, it says:

Using this stolen power, Yaldabaoth creates a material world in imitation of the divine Pleroma. To complete this task, he spawns a

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Aeons, “Sethians”, History

Gnostics and Armchairs

I meant to post this yesterday but hadn’t finished with it. (I mention this because it was this post that actually led into the sex magick post that appeared here earlier. I was reading on gnostic stuff that led to magick stuff that led to that topic and I got opinionated.)

I don’t much like labels when it comes to experiential things, like spirituality. I think as long as you’re sitting in the armchair of intellectualism, as long as you’re talking about theology or philosophy or whatever, then fine, we can wax poetic all day, and glue-stick labels onto things right and left.

But the moment one gets into the genuine experience of the thing, it’s another story. At that point, those labels aren’t doorways, they are no longer marking the opening to the infinite one road at a time, but rather, stuffing into uniformity and expectation all truly creative and spontaneous experience.

From wiki:

Jung saw the Gnostics not as syncretic schools of mixed theological doctrines, but as genuine visionaries, and saw their imagery not as myths but as records of inner experience. He wrote that “The explanation of Gnostic ideas ‘in terms of themselves,’ i.e., in terms of their historical foundations, is futile, for in that way they are reduced only to their less developed forestages but not understood in their actual significance.”

I would agree with that. Labeling and categorizing experiential-spirituality is like taking art, real art, the “it moved my soul through the night so I

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Gnostics and Armchairs

Sex Magick and Meditation

Like many topics, when I read about sex magick or tantra on occasion, I see that people get lost in semantics. Terminology is too limited for our experience-set. When I am really tuned in ideally to something as a magickal focus during sex, the so-called climax isn’t-quite the normal thing. This can vary a little in detail and degree, but basically it feels like sexual energy is many things, on many levels, winding through both the physical and energy bodies.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Sex Magick and Meditation

Aeon Round, 27nov09

Tonight when I was doing the round — the rosary-of-Aeons-mantra — I was thanking some of them for having taught me something in the merge with Marcan. For giving me the opportunity to really feel something different. God knows if this were only in my head and never in my body, only semi-autonomous visualization and never spontaneous and surprising, it just wouldn’t work at all. My left-brain (so to speak) is far too active for me to allow myself any of it otherwise.

It was all pretty normal for this round. I reached Nero at the end, he is the last if I begin at the top of the round with Ithikah. And suddenly, I felt nearly overcome with gratitude and wishing. I invented a whole formalized prayer designed to disable, override, remove, or render inactive, defenses and resistance and fears and more that would slow, resist or prevent he and I’s fuller integration.

Then, while I was getting all kinds of groovy body-rushing-fuzzies from this, I had a sort of epiphany, in a way, though I didn’t realize the mental part of it until later. That understanding, evolution if you want to use that word, is not even, not linear, for me or anyone, any more than it has been for humanity at large.

I said, I will be courageous and aware like you, because you woke me, you were the first to get through to me, and you inspire me, and I will join you in

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Aeon Round, 27nov09

Archmed: Authority & Helplessness

I take the long way into my archetype working area and look at IG. My beautiful goddess-like guide, I say to her affectionately. I want to finish this meditation. I want to be courageous. I have the inner feeling that someday it will not be ok to open up a meditation like this and leave it open or unfinished. That the power inherent will be dangerous, moreso than the simple things I do now. I want to learn to face these things squarely and deal with them. She brought back the archetype, and the gigantic skyscraper-borgcube-thing rose impossibly high in front of me, only visible in places, mostly ‘sensed’.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Archmed: Authority & Helplessness

The Four, The Consortium, The Point

I love it when I’m watching something in a movie and suddenly I see something that TOTALLY reminds me of some scene from my inner world.

Long ago (blogged in two parts in “IG and the Pagan Night” and “Gaia and the Pyramid“), I had this archetype meditation where the arch was a step pyramid like south american stuff. Except the step was actually in a spiral. And there was no visible way into it. The entrance turned out to be off to the side of the pyramid some distance, there was like a door in the ground and you went down into it, and then there was this stone hallway that led across (under) the ground and it went to the center of the pyramid at the bottom of it and then a door above opened up and you were “inside” it then. It was stepped ‘in reverse’ inside and it was fairly small. The meditations were kick-ass.

Well there are many differences… this pyramid was a bazillion times bigger, the distance to entrance farther, the entrance above ground, the stone path a road not a tunnel, and the pyramid different inside — ok, yes, so they are almost nothing alike I admit — still, the vision of this pyramid with an entrance in exactly the same relationship off to the side (except farther away, but then the pyramid was so much bigger, it seems like it’s the same) and a path over there to the middle

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at The Four, The Consortium, The Point

Aeon Round, 25nov09

Me: So what’s in it for the Dog? How does that poor dog benefit from the expansion of consciousness? What’s he get out of it, if he is always and evermore, outside of time, “a dog”?

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Aeon Round, 25nov09

Thinking on Paper 24nov09

I thought to myself, “Why is it that as people get older, they get so much more conservative?” and into my head came a “thoughtball realization” as an answer.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Thinking on Paper 24nov09

A Tek Med, Balancing Energy

Today’s morning communion with the consortium members went fine. The last one ‘through’ the four had more ‘rushing’ body-feelings. None as powerful as the first time but still nice.

I let Tek lead a meditation. Usually I descend into a white room and he gives me a ‘thing’ holographically to ‘clean or heal’. Once he had me hose down the room. Sometimes it’s a different Tek like the one that has the ‘control room’ where a given idea or belief is ‘plugged in’. Today was rather different though.

First I felt I was in a large irregularly shaped room. I was near the right side wall but it was higher and oddly shaped on the ceiling at the far left side with a sense of high wooden beams. These rooms have always been white and small before so that was a bit different.

Briefly, he put some kind of ‘suit’ on me that ‘allowed me to fly/better’. That seemed like a concept. I tried it out, flying. I could flap wings in the suit, and glide, and then just fly where I wanted, so I realized it was more magical flying than winged flying, and then realized that this was a concept he was providing me, that we were going to do something that would free me in some way.

Just then I felt this deep ache in my left upper outer arm. Two things struck me about the ache. The first was that it was so significant and sudden

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at A Tek Med, Balancing Energy

A Canticle for the Aeons

Me and IG and Bolehren sat down together (so to speak) today and slowly worked out a psalm or prayer I could use with the Aeons, in my daily meditation to focus on each one of them for at least a few moments.

I was looking for something akin to a rosary prayer, a memorized verse, though perhaps a bit more extensive. Something that had real meaning to me, that was developed with inner feeling, that was considered for my sense of its implications, and that was a fresh commitment with every iteration.

It ended up longer than I expected. But I think if I develop a habit of imagining holding each of their hands or absorbing them like an archetype, and thinking my way through this prayer, that it will be a good focus, will encourage, stabilize and focus my meditation with them. Well, and speed it up, too, not because it’s fast but because I think I will have less getting lost and wandering into daydreams and so on. I also think focusing on these words and feelings is just healthy period.

It’s not that this is all I can/will say to them, just that, much like the “ritual” in archetype meditation, there is a great deal to be said for “the consistency of a repeating thoughtform” and the strength that develops over time.

I imagine this might refine itself with one or more of the Aeons’ input. Maybe it will get more succinct. That would be nice!

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at A Canticle for the Aeons

Objectifying the Ineffable

I’ve been thinking about my offbeat driving interest in objectifying the Aeons outside of me. It’s really funny how often this comes to mind for me. I’ve been wondering what I could do to represent them on a variety of custom jewelry for example. I have various spontaneous desires to do like ANYTHING that would ’embody’ them — now there is a funny, kind of literal word — in my reality. It actually crossed my mind that I could make some kind of design in cross-stitch. I don’t even DO cross-stitch nor do I have any real interest in doing this, so that was just hilarious.

I suspect that Nero would say that objectifying desire is one way of interpreting some underlying energy/emotion I am not that clear on. (Great. I don’t even need to question whether his talking to me is my imagination or not anymore, apparently; now I just imagine what he MIGHT say and skip the actual conversation altogether!)

I have repeatedly wondered if there is some way that I could symbolically represent each one, much like how Ithikah has a ‘symbol’ I feel in my body instead of a picture I perceive.

Would it need to be a shape they ‘felt’ was right?

Is there any existing “system of 12” — given that common number/grouping historically — I could assign them to?



Would just initials work?

What about Hot-something since I still can’t quite get the rest of his name? (It starts with an

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Objectifying the Ineffable