I have found that:
  • → sincere prayer
  • → genuine intentions
  • → present-focus
  • → extended humor
  • → careful integrity
  • → constant work to discover and release all forms of bias in oneself
  • → dogged effort to pursue awareness, divine guidance and understanding
Leads a person to "interactive insight from the inside."

Consciously I want to evolve.
My ego resists strenuously.
I surreally "forget" so much!
So I blog for myself, mostly:
to re-read and remember.

People ask me where to begin with the complexity of the stuff on my blog. But my imaginal and related work spans 25 years as of 2016. So the real answer is "I don't know." I can't put all that in a sound bite. And one would have to understand, not just intellectually but experientially, a lot of it from start to middle to begin to understand where I am now. It is 'active imagination' work, resting on an extremely 'open' definition of archetype and energy, mapped at times to various occult patterns because they seem useful and otherwise just loosely personal; but that's not all. Short of how the blog speaks for itself that's about all I can say about it. It's a path I've built myself, for one. ~ Palyne

In the human spirit, as in the universe, nothing is higher or lower; everything has equal rights to a common center which manifests its hidden existence precisely through this harmonic relationship between every part and itself.
-- Goethe

Angels transcend every religion, every philosophy, every creed. In fact angels have no religion as we know it... their existence precedes every religious system that has ever existed on earth.
-- St. Thomas Aquinas

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In the beginning all was indivisible. And in becoming manifest, it became, seemingly, divisible. But the divisions must evolve to recognize themselves, and each other, and to then accept themselves, to truly know themselves by knowing each other. To begin, they are blended, confused; it is chaos, it is legion. They are all on the journey to indivisibility, to singularity, to the I AM. The point, of course, is not the destination, but the journey.

-- insight during the Princess of Disks meditation

Spiritual growth is like all other types: you absorb seemingly 'other' energy, and it becomes part of your own sense of identity. The growth is in awareness, and with that comes power which is always over Self.
Diversity is Legion;
Singularity is the I AM.
None of this is new although my approach to it is my own. -- Palyne

Inner Guide is Angelic. She is free of anything akin to doctrine. I call her an Angel because that is the only word I have for it, and because I know, all the way through me, that this is our word for her fundamentally divine nature. Aside from that, I don’t even know what she IS exactly, or what it means, or where it would fit into any model. She is life sized, soul wide, colors and gems and flowers and songs, everything beautiful that ever was, condensed into an identity I am completely in love with–except she feels like part of me too, so it’s like also being in love with yourself, and also with God, and also with the whole universe, both every tiny thing in your mundania, and ‘awareness’ as something so utterly, mind-bogglingly amazing — how could this exist? How could this not exist? How could I ever understand such a thing? — I am left only with joy, with awe.
-- on Inner Guide #4, aka 'Sedaena'. The first IG I had genuine conversation (and reading) with; the first real sign of my HGA.

He is so much inside and outside me, larger than me and yet the light of the tiniest particles of me, I don’t even have a word for whatever it is that he IS. I call him angelic and inner guide and the name he gave me because I have no idea what else to call this. It’s a Being and a Thing and an Event and a Place and a Relationship and… it’s like there is no label that is remotely big enough to encompass whatever it IS.
-- on Inner Guide #5, aka 'Mark.'

The boundary between the imaginational and imaginal is rather fuzzy and it is a developed skill and art to learn to stay there; to maintain your own autonomy while allowing the-others’ autonomy; to be shocked, astounded, grossed out, effused, and other surprise emotions from the interaction; all this without getting lost in the experience like a dream, yet also without pulling back to controlling the experience like a daydream. The former is being swept away by the river, and the latter is standing on the shore thinking about it; learning to walk the fine line of control and allowance to stay in that ‘imaginal realm’ actually takes practice. Crazy people think it’s all autonomous and happening ‘to’ them; people unable to allow this for themselves, may think it’s all imagination; and they’d both be right, because they are both lost; the goal is a whole world that bridges and encompasses both of those.

-- on "Interworlds Meditation"

Q: Where are you now?

Me: Well, back in my own reality.

Q: Wrong. You are in a reality version that distraction and denial have made for you.

Me: How do I get out?

Q: Wrong question. There is no space, there is no time. Where are you again?

Me: Oh. I’m wherever I "pay attention" to being.

Q: Right. You PAY attention. It is the currency of your soul. You rent your reality. Never forget that. The choice to move is yours.

Dealing with the unconscious has become a question of life for us.
The play of the imagination is incalculable.
~ Carl Jung

The imaginary can be innocuous, the imaginal never can.
~ Henry Corbin

A calling may be postponed, avoided, intermittently missed. It may also possess you completely. Whatever; eventually it will out. It makes its claim. The daimon does not go away.
~ James Hillman

There comes a time when the mind takes a higher plane of knowledge but can never prove how it got there.
-- Albert Einstein


This blog documents much of my work in the "inter-worlds" of a greater-self. It's not just esoteric: every thing corresponds — the mundane, the arcane, the divine. If it had to be summed up you might say it is "a universe of personalization." A strange place where monotheism and ultimate-pantheism are one and the same.

I am a natural mystic, if spontaneous experiences determine such a thing. I am not religious in any way; only guidance from the inside drives me. No identities or models unless they are introduced to me from the inside. (Sometimes I use them simply for interest, or because their models are convenient doorways -- but I accept none of their doctrines.) I briefly studied theology at one point, independently (I consider constant prayer a valid part of edu too), and where it led me was "anywhere-else." It's fine for others of course. I consider the heart of free will to be that everyone has their own road. Or as Heinlein once wrote, the right to go to hell in their own handbasket.

This tends to make me obsessed with the divine yet not religious at all, in any form, which is often confusing to onlookers. I am ever in love with and in closer pursuit of integration with The Christ (which I consider a solar-planetary deity, exceeding and preceding all possible religion, though cyclically present within our species) but I'm not remotely a modern Christian, and this also tends to be very confusing to onlookers. I'm a student of archetypes and pattern systems, yet not a jungian intellectual - armchair philosophy bores me - nor a power occultist - which has its own issues (and uniforms) to say the least.

After nearly two decades of certain experiences I felt alone with and thought were unique to me, it turns out I find some harmony in the gnostic writings. I didn't get it from there, and am not fond of that doctrine and the paradigms it came in with, so I ignore it. Which means despite talking about just a few things specific to it (by unknowing accident until a few years ago), I'm not part of that model either.

The road I walk is my own. It doesn't really have an easy label or anybody else on it, that I can see. This is between me and God, so it doesn't really need to work for anybody else. I used to wish I wasn't the only person with such experiences or practices, and started a blog in part in the hope I might find others with something similar. Maybe a need for community. I'm over that now, at least I think. I walk alone, but Light is with me. Can't ask for more than that.

-- Palyne

When we understand that perception is as much about source as target; that energy is a spectrum and best psi perception comes from the center, its balance and blend; that the manifest communication of our Selves is the literal 'reality' we experience; that everything in that reality is a profound 3D language element; that insight with the ‘center’ of spectrum is likely to be via the language-symbols of 'reality;' that these need to be interpreted at the level they are received; this is the path for intentional psi.
-- Insight on the Art of RV

quote for the day

My boyfriend sent me this Seth quote. Wow this perfectly addresses some of the stuff I’ve been working on lately doesn’t it.

Your interpretations of identity teach you to focus awareness in such a way that you cannot follow the strands of consciousness that connect you with all portions of nature.


I feel like I’m constantly ‘dealing with’ my ‘interpretations of identity’ and that my inner world doesn’t have the same models as my outer world–at all.


Social Algebra

I was observing with interest what was called “social algebra”. It was the math that created experiential reality. The way in which one’s inside in turn arranged their outside, both of which equally “were” the person, but the left-half of the equation, or the ‘in-side’, was what determined the right-half or the ‘out-side’, because it always had to balance.

I understood this related to recent meditation work done (myPsiche), which related to a person as an energy-construct. And, that this had come up because in working on writing out a more intelligible outline of some things, I had referred to a person as a ‘formula/geometry’.

In writing, it had been only a mental model. Now it was quite literal. But what it showed me was that my concepts had not been exactly correct; I had some base models that were inaccurate.


Everything in reality was geometry woven into a math problem, like an algebra equation. This operated on every level (macro and micro) but I was focused on the measure of “a person”.

A person, both as a ‘core-energy-construct’ and their “reality (body and experience)” also as its own ‘energy construct’, were a formula: those were the two halves of the algebra equation which made up the larger “person as they are in this life” which was basically an equation of core-energy + reality-experience.

The formulas could have many, many different things in them, and instead of numbers and letters, these ‘things’ were like events, people, situations, environments,

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Social Algebra


So far on this blog I’ve talked about a few different kinds of meditations, and a few different processes or elements. Archetype meditations are why I made the blog. There are ‘reality’ meds as I call them, that I once described. There are ‘body’ meds that I’ve mentioned. And ‘control center’ meds. I’m sure the limits are only to imagination but so far that’s about all I tend to. There is a whole separate element that comes into archetype meditations though, and sometimes in other areas. I’m calling it ‘dreamlings’.

Guides? Aeons? Composite Collections of Energy Assigned A Title?

The blog has (against my will) lately been filled with what I’ve called Guides but now that I better understand their nature, I will come up with some other name for them. They are really not anything like spirit guides and they are not ‘separate counselors’.

I have a name that has spontaneously come to mind for me repeatedly but it doesn’t make any sense. So I think I need something different. It is “Aeons.” With that spelling. Not as a span of time, but not not-that either. The impression I get is: “a span of energy in singular form” which has time/space/identity/depth (all), but is combined into the singular, and so is a ‘thing’. I just don’t get how that word works here, even though it keeps spontaneously coming to mind when I think of the subject.

The occult field also has a leaning on that

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Dreamlings

A Talking-To

The other day I got a lecture. Literally it was like some part of my mind–which I now kind of recognize as having its own identity as a guide–just totally went off on me. Not in an angry or mean or bad way, just in a brutally honest, no-nonsense, not-putting-up-with-this-anymore kind of way.

I don’t know who it was (and I asked and there was utter silence, which nearly made me crack up, since it was hard to imagine anybody being willing to buy the wrath for it after). Basically the lecture amounted to this:

Grow up! Take responsibility. Quit acting like a drama-queen about the guides. You need to meet them and you don’t need to know the detail of why right now. Let it be enough that those you know and trust are telling you so. Accept your role and make the time and responsibility to address this part of yourself. It is not cute or interesting that you react with fear and avoidance, it is just immature. You’re better than that, so start acting like it. Make an effort and step up to yourself!

Ouch! Geez. Not subtle or indirect, at least.

Later, I had the feeling it was my mate (3rd of the 4), not a guide.

That was a couple days ago. I think I had enough ‘realization’ earlier today that I’m on the right track. I’ll be doing some more meditations shortly here.


Putting Together the Puzzle

Me: Nero?

Nero: I’m here.

Me: Why… why didn’t you guys make this clear to me sooner, so I wouldn’t fight it so much?

Nero: You have a lot of resistance. It took a substantial amount of our energy to weigh against that. A certain number of us needed to be present in your awareness. That’s why IG has been forcing the introductions.

Me: And what do you work with me on again? (I felt myself ‘resisting’ and ‘blocking’ in the lower right of my torso. I can’t explain how/why I felt it there but I knew I wouldn’t be able to “hear” him if he told me. I felt as if he ‘changed tactics’ upon us mutually realizing this.)

Nero: Maybe some things you would not be able to easily understand even if you were told, even if you had internal concepts that allowed it to be told, and a language base that allowed you to translate it. That is why your guides are identities you can have relationships with on your own terms. Sometimes, they have much energy you will not understand, that you have no model for, or not exactly. In those cases, maybe you see a faery instead of a human, or a horse.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Putting Together the Puzzle

History & Environment Review, and Nedmund

For some reason, I think to kind of review and make it clear to myself as well as to anybody else, I feel like talking about the overall structure, environment, of my “inner world.” And whatever the people are all over the plateau. And a new introduction to a guide loosely called “Nedmund” because I couldn’t really get any closer to a name than that. This will be boring to anybody else, I’m writing it for me, so don’t feel any kind of impelled to read this one lol.

The Sacred Space

When I first ‘go to meditate’, I ‘unroll an inner world’ that I imagine is kept stored in a microdot in my heart chakra. My ‘sacred space’ as I was taught to call it. Unlike most people’s warm safe shady garden-like area, mine is a high plateau of stone, warm enough from a desert-like environ, but arid and windy up that high.

It’s curious to me this is what I was most attracted to. There is nothing in my life experience along these lines, short of maybe a couple visits to the Southwest, which didn’t make much impression on me besides the Grand Canyon being rather amazing.

I have often dreamed about being on Mars, in an environment a little like this in a way, except among ‘ruins’ of some kind. In the dreams, it feels like the ultimate ‘longing for home’, and things just impossibly big in some way, but everything there is millions of years of

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at History & Environment Review, and Nedmund

Archmed: The Lake; Jared and el Niño

I imagined holding my laptop and on the computer screen ran a program that gave me a sonar and thermal joint map of the interior of the lake. Over on one side, there was this big area, like a bubble from the edge, that was like a ‘dead zone’. Nothing it it at all. On the opposite side, there was this big area, another bubble-type area from the edge, that was stuffed with something irregularly shaped and dark and a little frighteningly mysterious. I vanished the screen and thought about it. Apparently I would have to go underwater, I concluded. I was about to dive in when part of me thought, “What if there are monsters in here?” I’m so ridiculous. But I’ve learned to trust that whatever I feel I just have to go with it, validate it. Rolling my eyes at myself I enlarged, stabilized, then moved my platform over to the edge just offside of the ‘dead zone’. I created a holograph in the air that starting at the bottom of the lake, built up and showed me the picture of what was ‘in’ that part of the lake in detail.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Archmed: The Lake; Jared and el Niño

Calmè, and the Horse

I did manage to make it in to do a little med work last night. In my opinion this did not go well. But at least it happened I guess. Unfortunately, after that I passed out and slept so deeply I missed going to the grocery store which I needed to do, had to cancel my remote viewing date by phone which I was too sleepy even to talk to, etc. And it’s yet another example of feeling forced to blog about something that totally embarrasses me. Oh yeah but aside from all THAT it was just fine, oh brother!


I went to IG just to talk to her, initially.

Me: In all honesty IG, I feel like when I do archs that I let you choose, where I don’t know what they are, it just doesn’t go as well. I mean I read some old blogging yesterday and I see that sometimes it does but my “feel” is that there is something missing from those. Like it’s important for me to know.


Me: OK. Well, I was going to ask for an arch but I guess I will just let you choose. Apparently that was my pre-complaint but nothing changed. I think another thing that bothers me is that I worry you’re going to keep giving me guides, as you seem kinda driven that way, so it makes me a little paranoid about it as that bothers me. I want to be able to trust that if

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Calmè, and the Horse


I was touching base with the guides I have met so far. Nero nearly always appears where I first-ever saw him so clearly, to my left a bit in front and above. (I was sitting on a piano bench and he was standing beside the edge of the piano, when we first met. So, that position.) Taan stands right in front of me and I always ‘feel’ his good humor. Ithikah stands behind him a few feet but he’s so tall I see him right over Taan’s head. Bolehren stands to the front right corner of me, between the front and the side. Marcan* stands slightly behind me off to the right a bit so I can just see him peripherally but have to turn to face him. They settled in like this ‘was’ their position. I had the weird sense that I did eons ago in the Tower with The Four where it was kinda like we were all stars and our pattern relationship was orbits and geometry.

Anyway. I completely forget what I was doing or thinking but I was sliding toward dream alas. There was some problem I was aware of, and a woman slid her hands into my torso from the right side of me and began manipulating the energy inside me to help. After a moment I realized this was not part of the sort-of-daydreamish-something going on, and that this was NOT Bolehren who was standing next to her. I looked at the woman. She

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at L’anna

Tarot Knight of Wands, Part 6 (4/4)

Thoth Tarot Knight of Wands

Finally! My god! It has taken SIX MONTHS to get all the way through this ONE archetype. I’ve never had anything be that hard before — to do or “to get around to” doing. Finally this morning I managed to get to the last meditation to finish it off. I couldn’t see the arch through most of it. I just held onto it. Everything I did ‘to’ the arch I felt personally, with all kinds of ‘rushes’ and ‘buzzes’ through my whole body. Mostly just all the basic stuff. When I was finally done, it looked like me. Geez. The 4th of 4?? Maybe I should have seen that coming. We merged and spent awhile on that. Then I pulled in a merge each of the other three and THAT was a really body rocking merge altogether. When totally done, I did another meditation on the relationship between me and my guides, with an emphasis on my resistance/issues. The arch started out as something like a spider-human hybrid that was about 20 feet tall. Ok… apparently I have some problems there LOL. By the time I finally finished, I was able to merge a bit, and then I went through and held the hands and focused on each of my outer guides in turn that I’ve been introduced to (Nero, Taan, Bolehren, Ithika, and Marcan), and then merged them all into me which was a great rush. IG was invisible–I’ve been out of this too long–but I felt great with her at the end. I’ve got to do more of this for my own good.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Tarot Knight of Wands, Part 6 (4/4)