Consciously I want to evolve.
My ego resists and I forget.
I blog, re-read, remember.
So I blog for me, mostly.
I have found that:
- → sincere and regular prayer
- → genuinely good intentions
- → present-focus, "interest"
- → extended sense of humor
- → honesty, sharing, healing
- → constant work to discover and release bias in oneself
- →
dogged (to the extreme) effort to pursue awareness and understanding
Leads a person to "interactive insight from the inside." We only grok by going through. Spiritual growth is like all others: you absorb, become aware, and via love (sympathetic rapport and desire to become or absorb) and will (directed intent), that energy becomes part of your singular sense of identity. The 'growth' is in awareness, and with that comes power which is always over Self. Diversity is Legion; Singularity is the I AM. None of this is new or unique. It's simply "unconscious and slow" for most people. I figure I can't help doing it, so I would rather do it well than badly. Darkness is not of the Nothingness. It is not the opposite of light, as it only exists within the realm of light itself. Darkness is just something-ness lacking color. The universe is fundamentally of light, and darkness fails to hold dominance and fails to understand why: its nature precludes it: awareness itself makes all identities children of the light.
|
Posted by Palyne on 2009.12.28 I was going to call my friend and go to sleep when I thought, well I should do an Aeon Round first. I grabbed my beads and made myself comfortable. Ithikah, I said, how about you help me here. What could I do that would be novel and neat?
He had this idea about ‘sewing’ the energy of me into each Aeon or vice-versa but no matter how I went about that I had this sort of feeling like ‘something punctured’ so that just didn’t work. We thought of other ideas and discarded them. We came back to the first and looked at alternatives, strings, etc. when I said, hey wait! IG used to “weave me” with RV targets when I was doing archetype-RV. Basically she would ‘unwind us’ into a string that she ‘wove’ with the other from the feet up until we were ‘merged’. I would keep that until after feedback and then she would “de-weave” us.
That’s how experiences like the one with the target of Ganymede (more sentient than I am, it turns out) happened, because I was still ‘merged’ with it when I was getting feedback, so G’s opinion on our opinion on what G was like was suddenly apparent, as if it were viewing or in rapport with me, and it all took off from there.That weaving was definitely in line with the ‘threads’ concept Ithikah had so we both loved the idea, and IG was clearly game to help out. She did it
Read the full article at Aeon Round, Weaving
http://www.palyne.com/blog.psiche/aeon-round-weaving/
Posted by Palyne on 2009.12.28 I didn’t do the Aeon round today, but did yesterday. Instead of saying the mantra I just prayed. Dear God And Everyone Else Who Can Help – this is my new introduction, I crack myself up — please help increase, intensify, expand and clarify my understanding and integration with ____, help us to improve our communion and communication, to evolve in the best ways together. Amen. I found when I did this that I got varying degrees of body-rush (warm fuzzies through me) with each of the Aeons.
This got me thinking. Normally when I do the round, if I am doing the mantra, I will usually either not have reaction on any of them, or have just a little on one or two, here or there in my body.
I have sometimes wondered about this. Am I just more open to merging with energy X at moment Y, than energy Q? Is it something about the mantra? If the mantra were different, would my effects with that Aeon or another be different? Is it something about the energies invoked by my living that day?
Does it matter what sequence I do them in? I have noticed that the first time I do any given mantra I seem to have a decent amount of merge-effect with all of them I do it with. (The first time I invented the mantra for the rosary-like round, the rushing was tremendous. Seemed like a good sign.) I know, I over-think everything, but I
Posted by Palyne on 2009.12.26 I forgot to mention this.
On 12/20 evening I posted this focus med with Bolehren which was a meditation that included an issue with a “power grid” and burnout and so on.
I didn’t even realize this sync until just now. But on 12/22 the entire wall behind me in my bedroom (which is also the wall of the kitchen) burned out. Its power is gone — nothing works on that wall at all now. Dang it!
You would think the meditation would have improved whatever issue existed but I guess not. Anyway I think it’s important to pay attention to the reality-symbols that reflect the ‘inner shape of me’. I don’t really know what this means.
In my secret life, though, not unnatural guilt this time but legitimate wish-it-weren’t-true-ness, I have to note that for some time I have really trashed my body’s main power source, by having incredibly little protein or supplements, and lousy food to make things much worse, and which gives me asthma so when I sleep I don’t get enough oxygen. Combining under-proteining with under-oxygenation is really deadly to me and makes me so exhausted. The kitchen where the toaster plugs in (gluten in bread is the main offender), and my bed headboard, are probably the two most likely ‘reality symbol’ associations with a “problem with the power grid” of my body caused by this. And it just so happens that the plugs right behind those two areas both fried and died. Probably
Read the full article at Power Grids
http://www.palyne.com/blog.psiche/power-grids/
Posted by Palyne on 2009.12.26 I’m really enjoying sleeping lately, since I nearly always seem to dream answers to any question or idea I had before sleeping, and at least half-remember it on awakening.
After falling asleep again this morning (after blogging my crown-chakra dream and then talking to my friend by phone), I had two dreams I remembered on awakening.
The first one addressed a conversation we had about heart vs. crown chakra although it also had, I think maybe 2nd chakra involved. Unfortunately I do not remember that dream. I only remember thinking that he had been correct regarding the “equal divinity of all.” He was saying how many people consider the crown chakra “more spiritual” or in some way better than others. But anybody who’s met Jesus, definitely king of the christ-consciousness heart chakra, knows that one is just as divine, though different.
We’d talked about how the crown chakra brought a sort of intelligent-insight-understanding, like all is as it should be, without any ‘attachment’ to the world. But how on its own, it sort of removes the passion. Having the other chakras open to balance that, is important.
Anyway. We’d also talked about how different kinds of intelligence might have different perception… a little about my perceiving on two occasions a spider.
In the second dream, I think I may have “absorbed some perspective.” Heh.
I was in some other world, moving along some path in the outdoors, with a fence and field to my left and something like a bunch
Read the full article at Noisy Humans
http://www.palyne.com/blog.psiche/noisy-humans/
Posted by Palyne on 2009.12.26 Lately every time I wake up it’s with the understanding that one of my chakras is ‘talking to me’. I know, funny huh. It’s just that I usually can’t hold on to whatever it was, which is so exasperating.
As for which might have been the one talking to me, generally I have no idea. I don’t know how I can say I even knew that much to begin with, as there isn’t really any “feel” associated with them. I mean much like the Consortium — on the “seamless” moments as they might call it — there is simply no feel of “other” for me to “recognize”. It’s not that I “feel” a chakra was talking to me. I simply know it, in an understanding, like something so obvious there is no questioning of this. Which is good or I would probably be questioning it…
This morning I know I was talking to the crown chakra because I remember a small fraction — just a tiny percentage — of what was accompanying the words. I wish I remembered more, but maybe if I really focus on writing down the pieces I can hold, the “focus” will increase and I will get to keep more of this stuff in the future. Actually I have the feeling if I just start with what I have I will pull in more, so here goes:
The crown doesn’t start at the crown. Actually I knew this from a previous few moments of ‘feel’ and
Posted by Palyne on 2009.12.25 It’s easy to get distracted and just forget to blog. While the mere shreds of memory remain, I’d better record them.
Archmeds: I did one with IG on ‘whatever I most need to deal with current issues of denial’ or something like that. The arch looked like those oversized robot tanks in that movie ‘Avatar’ (go see it on the big screen!). It was very difficult to stay mentally focused. I felt like I was out of practice or something.
Dreams: I had a nightmare about this grassy-vine that was taking over the entire planet. It would grow from nothing, like a virus that grew into green wisps and then a sort of long grass and then that developed into vines and it was sentient and killed people, grew ‘through’ them at crazy speed if they were still/sleeping anywhere near it, specifically would go through their eyes and heart and that would kill them. More and more of the earth was uninhabitable because of this stuff and I was watching it, at one point, really close up, in amazingly vivid detail. I wondered on awakening if that was some kind of body detail (like fighting off a viral infection) or if it was some chakra thing or some gaia-like thing.
Aeons: I did the round yesterday but otherwise have been very poor at doing that recently although I’ve occasionally talked to one in my head. During the round I realized I had just said, with gushing affection to Taan, “I
Posted by Palyne on 2009.12.20 I did a focus med on Ithikah last Tuesday. Bolehren was supposed to be the next evening, Wednesday, but I put her off. It wasn’t until last night that I saw an interesting sort of timing-sync. Now that I see this, I am wondering…
When I do archetype meditations, if I begin a meditation, basically “open up” that energy, and I do not finish it, that energy runs rampant in my life and in my head. On problem issues this really IS a problem. It’s often the thing that forces me to get my act together and get back in and finish the work, because of all the chaos in my life from that energy bouncing all over, and I can track it to ‘that energy’ by the detail.
Well I had intended to work with Bo until pretty much the last minute I had a “denial” attack and wandered off to do anything that wasn’t meditating. So I’m wondering if, by my intent, I essentially had already kind of opened up the process even if I hadn’t got to uttering the words yet.
The day after I was supposed to work with Bo, I had such a bad day as far as people are concerned. By the end of the day I was convinced “everybody dislikes me!” I just felt so crummy about it. I haven’t felt like that in so many eons I can’t remember. (Not because everybody likes me, mind you, but because I only require a
Read the full article at Focus med: Bolehren
http://www.palyne.com/blog.psiche/focus-med-bolehren/
Posted by Palyne on 2009.12.17 My friend K commented (on The Cold Soul):
I hate the thought of reincarnation, though more and more things nudge me to admit that it’s a strong possibility, for this very reason. You might be living your life as best you can, thinking you are a relatively good person, but in actuality, you aren’t and you weren’t and you’re going to have to deal with something nasty “you” did thousands of years ago. Except you don’t remember any of it, so you can’t react in a way that provides long-term (across lifetimes) benefit because you have no idea what the hell is going on.
I totally know what you mean!! I wanted to respond but wanted to make it something larger than a comment.
*
My own relationship to this concept was an odd way coming. I thought that it began in adulthood, when I started intellectually struggling with the details and how I felt about them. But now I see that it pinged me off and on through my life. I have several of the moments written down so I will put them here as a sort of linear overview.
Around age 12 … I had gone with my older sister to the beach. I was swimming in the ocean, where the waves were delightfully ferocious on occasion. All us children and teenagers in the water shouted gleefully at the biggest waves, and we would dive underneath them to avoid their breaking on us.
This went
Posted by Palyne on 2009.12.17 topics today: Things as they really are Lucid dreaming Meditating when it sucks I’m mutating! Messianic BS
Things as they really are
I was half-awake. Some interactive half-dream surprised me in some way. I woke up fully with a sudden idea.
Dear God (and everyone else), I prayed. Please help me to see things as they truly are.
After a few minutes of unusual in-my-head activity, I was asked by some part of me,
What makes you think you are capable of understanding things as they truly are?
I wasn’t sure how to answer that.
Why not? I finally negotiated.
Worlds went onward in my head.
You think the answer is a square? I was asked, after a series of activity that led me to that satisfied conclusion.
Then I saw: it was a cube. There was an entire ‘dimension of understanding’ I had left out.
All things have this extra dimensionality.
And then I felt like I learned something, but I forget what. I am SO useless!
Lucid Dreaming
I took a nap on an early lunch and woke up lucid in my dream. How cool, I thought, been awhile since this! I decided to “go with” the dream out of curiosity. I took shortcuts though. I went through walls and such, though I knew well enough (I lucid dreamed very regularly
Read the full article at Rambling 16Dec09
http://www.palyne.com/blog.psiche/rambling-16dec09/
Posted by Palyne on 2009.12.15 I hadn’t meditated in a few days, and the Aeons were calling so I did the round.
But I’ve been thinking about how I used to meditate sometimes (eons ago): just “go in there” and hang around, talk to (outer) guides, follow where things lead. I haven’t done that in a long time because I simply forgot about it. Yet many of my most amazing and spontaneous experiences happened during those casual focus times, much like the best songs you write may happen “by spontaneous accident” during the casual practice you do daily.
I decided that I should just start at the beginning (Ithikah is at the top of the round) and one by one, go through each Aeon, and just spend some quality time with them. I imagined “that-energy” being integrated with mine in great detail from above my head to below my feet, slowly going through the whole body with it, which took awhile. I said a variety of spontaneous prayers. I talked to him, though I wasn’t getting much conversation back. Then I hung around “being” with him.
The impressions I got were a little like symbolic remote viewing data. I don’t know what any of them mean. But I trust if I record this, then eventually experience will cumulate and I will begin to see what the previous symbols meant. Of course… it’s unlikely I’m going to make nearly this much effort in the documentation as I am with this first example LOL. The following images
Read the full article at Focus Med: Ithikah
http://www.palyne.com/blog.psiche/focus-med-ithikah/
Posted by Palyne on 2009.12.15 Today I feel like an idiot. It only just became clear to me that even during my most focused, vivid and dedicated meditation periods, I’ve been like a fool stumbling down the high wire, oblivious and too lazily disorganized to bother learning anything from any of the previous steps.
Since my efforts are like nothing-nothing-nothing-OBSESS!-nothing in cycles, every year or two I have a ‘period’ that almost stands alone for experience. It is so separated from other periods, and my recall is so quickly iffy on this stuff anyway, that it’s like a bad alzheimers joke. (“New guides every day!”) Outside of the Four and IG, I’m lucky to remember anything at all.
I get very clearly from my recent ‘review’ that the energy of the Senior is a ‘symbol’ that repeats. When I see black, or rectangles, it’s his energy. I tripped over a whole variety of dreams where thick rectangles were involved, over meditations where archetypes had a rectangle sticking out of their head, stuff like that. Did I get it? Of course not. Because I’ve never really tried to keep track of different symbols and associations. That would make sense. We wouldn’t want that!
I also tripped over all kinds of stuff that lacked useful detail. “And a cat…” or “And this big monster-thing…” Yeah? What kind? What color? I didn’t think to write that down. Geez, in an entire universe operating on SYMBOL — sounds, colors, textures, shapes —
Read the full article at Astral Geeks
http://www.palyne.com/blog.psiche/astral-geeks/
Posted by Palyne on 2009.12.14 Thoughts/questions/experiences sparked by recent materials I found and a couple exercises.
*
What is really the difference between the archetype of an energy and the energy? I know officially it is ‘my relationship’ with that thing; not that-thing-itself. But how could I perceive it without my relationship in the way anyway?
Is it impossible to truly perceive any thing as it truly is?
The-thing-itself, I suspect, would always be a geometry. Does that mean that everything manifest that doesn’t come across like an 11-D geometric shape is, actually, an ‘archetype’? A symbol or translation?
So we are walking around an entire landscape of “symbols not things”? Skyscrapers and flowers and cats and cars… no different than if they were green cubes and yellow tetrahedrons that chirped?
Is it that we acclimatize to the symbols and so we hard-wire the neural perception like a shortcut to meaning, and we start thinking that every thing IS instead the symbol?
Do the QBL (Kabbalah) “correspondences” have validity because everything we perceive is not a ‘thing’ but ‘an archetype/symbol’? So it’s not that there are things, and then symbolic meaning; it’s that everything is symbolic meaning.
It’s not that we have a viewing target of the Eiffel Tower and get symbolic data; it’s that the target itself IS symbolic, because everything is. There is no such thing as literal data only matching-symbols. Hmmn. That might give a different idea regarding RV data if I think about it enough.
Does a
Read the full article at Rambling 14Dec09
http://www.palyne.com/blog.psiche/rambling-14dec09/
|
Reality = Physiology = Psychology = Spirituality = Cosmology = Geometry = Number = Sound = Form There is no difference.  Posts  Comments Identity is an arbitrary collection of consciousness assigned a title. My work is not just study; it's prayer, it's mental techniques, it's life habits. It's not just about inner worlds; discipline and physical environment matter. It's not just spiritual; my body and world is part of it. It's not just esoteric; everything corresponds integrally — the mundane, the arcane, the divine. It's not just an '-ology'; my own identity, body, reality, psyche is key to it all. The only tenets of truth I hold are based on personal experience.This effort has spanned my life, but not until ~1994 did it become intentional, not 'til late '00s did it become fairly 'serious'. I've gone through many models and philosophies over time, but now I've none except what experience teach me. I am ever the student, but I've reached a point of "fluency" and "internal guidance" where I don't care about labels or other peoples' paradigms.
CATEGORIES on this blog are extensive and nested. Most everything that matters or repeats much has a category.
The TAGS are just minor notes of reference trivia. They are usually a rare experience, or an observation about something I read.
|
Recent Comments