I have found that:
  • → sincere prayer
  • → genuine intentions
  • → present-focus
  • → extended humor
  • → careful integrity
  • → constant work to discover and release all forms of bias in oneself
  • → dogged effort to pursue awareness, divine guidance and understanding
Leads a person to "interactive insight from the inside."

Consciously I want to evolve.
My ego resists strenuously.
I surreally "forget" so much!
So I blog for myself, mostly:
to re-read and remember.

People ask me where to begin with the complexity of the stuff on my blog. But my imaginal and related work spans 25 years as of 2016. So the real answer is "I don't know." I can't put all that in a sound bite. And one would have to understand, not just intellectually but experientially, a lot of it from start to middle to begin to understand where I am now. It is 'active imagination' work, resting on an extremely 'open' definition of archetype and energy, mapped at times to various occult patterns because they seem useful and otherwise just loosely personal; but that's not all. Short of how the blog speaks for itself that's about all I can say about it. It's a path I've built myself, for one. ~ Palyne

In the human spirit, as in the universe, nothing is higher or lower; everything has equal rights to a common center which manifests its hidden existence precisely through this harmonic relationship between every part and itself.
-- Goethe

Angels transcend every religion, every philosophy, every creed. In fact angels have no religion as we know it... their existence precedes every religious system that has ever existed on earth.
-- St. Thomas Aquinas

Recent Posts & Archives

  • 2018 (6)
  • 2017 (15)
  • 2016 (25)
  • 2015 (28)
  • 2014 (50)
  • 2013 (79)
  • 2012 (108)
  • 2011 (44)
  • 2010 (117)
  • 2009 (97)
  • 2008 (57)
  • 2007 (11)
  • 2005 (1)

In the beginning all was indivisible. And in becoming manifest, it became, seemingly, divisible. But the divisions must evolve to recognize themselves, and each other, and to then accept themselves, to truly know themselves by knowing each other. To begin, they are blended, confused; it is chaos, it is legion. They are all on the journey to indivisibility, to singularity, to the I AM. The point, of course, is not the destination, but the journey.

-- insight during the Princess of Disks meditation

Spiritual growth is like all other types: you absorb seemingly 'other' energy, and it becomes part of your own sense of identity. The growth is in awareness, and with that comes power which is always over Self.
Diversity is Legion;
Singularity is the I AM.
None of this is new although my approach to it is my own. -- Palyne

Inner Guide is Angelic. She is free of anything akin to doctrine. I call her an Angel because that is the only word I have for it, and because I know, all the way through me, that this is our word for her fundamentally divine nature. Aside from that, I don’t even know what she IS exactly, or what it means, or where it would fit into any model. She is life sized, soul wide, colors and gems and flowers and songs, everything beautiful that ever was, condensed into an identity I am completely in love with–except she feels like part of me too, so it’s like also being in love with yourself, and also with God, and also with the whole universe, both every tiny thing in your mundania, and ‘awareness’ as something so utterly, mind-bogglingly amazing — how could this exist? How could this not exist? How could I ever understand such a thing? — I am left only with joy, with awe.
-- on Inner Guide #4, aka 'Sedaena'. The first IG I had genuine conversation (and reading) with; the first real sign of my HGA.

He is so much inside and outside me, larger than me and yet the light of the tiniest particles of me, I don’t even have a word for whatever it is that he IS. I call him angelic and inner guide and the name he gave me because I have no idea what else to call this. It’s a Being and a Thing and an Event and a Place and a Relationship and… it’s like there is no label that is remotely big enough to encompass whatever it IS.
-- on Inner Guide #5, aka 'Mark.'

The boundary between the imaginational and imaginal is rather fuzzy and it is a developed skill and art to learn to stay there; to maintain your own autonomy while allowing the-others’ autonomy; to be shocked, astounded, grossed out, effused, and other surprise emotions from the interaction; all this without getting lost in the experience like a dream, yet also without pulling back to controlling the experience like a daydream. The former is being swept away by the river, and the latter is standing on the shore thinking about it; learning to walk the fine line of control and allowance to stay in that ‘imaginal realm’ actually takes practice. Crazy people think it’s all autonomous and happening ‘to’ them; people unable to allow this for themselves, may think it’s all imagination; and they’d both be right, because they are both lost; the goal is a whole world that bridges and encompasses both of those.

-- on "Interworlds Meditation"

Q: Where are you now?

Me: Well, back in my own reality.

Q: Wrong. You are in a reality version that distraction and denial have made for you.

Me: How do I get out?

Q: Wrong question. There is no space, there is no time. Where are you again?

Me: Oh. I’m wherever I "pay attention" to being.

Q: Right. You PAY attention. It is the currency of your soul. You rent your reality. Never forget that. The choice to move is yours.

Dealing with the unconscious has become a question of life for us.
The play of the imagination is incalculable.
~ Carl Jung

The imaginary can be innocuous, the imaginal never can.
~ Henry Corbin

A calling may be postponed, avoided, intermittently missed. It may also possess you completely. Whatever; eventually it will out. It makes its claim. The daimon does not go away.
~ James Hillman

There comes a time when the mind takes a higher plane of knowledge but can never prove how it got there.
-- Albert Einstein


This blog documents much of my work in the "inter-worlds" of a greater-self. It's not just esoteric: every thing corresponds — the mundane, the arcane, the divine. If it had to be summed up you might say it is "a universe of personalization." A strange place where monotheism and ultimate-pantheism are one and the same.

I am a natural mystic, if spontaneous experiences determine such a thing. I am not religious in any way; only guidance from the inside drives me. No identities or models unless they are introduced to me from the inside. (Sometimes I use them simply for interest, or because their models are convenient doorways -- but I accept none of their doctrines.) I briefly studied theology at one point, independently (I consider constant prayer a valid part of edu too), and where it led me was "anywhere-else." It's fine for others of course. I consider the heart of free will to be that everyone has their own road. Or as Heinlein once wrote, the right to go to hell in their own handbasket.

This tends to make me obsessed with the divine yet not religious at all, in any form, which is often confusing to onlookers. I am ever in love with and in closer pursuit of integration with The Christ (which I consider a solar-planetary deity, exceeding and preceding all possible religion, though cyclically present within our species) but I'm not remotely a modern Christian, and this also tends to be very confusing to onlookers. I'm a student of archetypes and pattern systems, yet not a jungian intellectual - armchair philosophy bores me - nor a power occultist - which has its own issues (and uniforms) to say the least.

After nearly two decades of certain experiences I felt alone with and thought were unique to me, it turns out I find some harmony in the gnostic writings. I didn't get it from there, and am not fond of that doctrine and the paradigms it came in with, so I ignore it. Which means despite talking about just a few things specific to it (by unknowing accident until a few years ago), I'm not part of that model either.

The road I walk is my own. It doesn't really have an easy label or anybody else on it, that I can see. This is between me and God, so it doesn't really need to work for anybody else. I used to wish I wasn't the only person with such experiences or practices, and started a blog in part in the hope I might find others with something similar. Maybe a need for community. I'm over that now, at least I think. I walk alone, but Light is with me. Can't ask for more than that.

-- Palyne

When we understand that perception is as much about source as target; that energy is a spectrum and best psi perception comes from the center, its balance and blend; that the manifest communication of our Selves is the literal 'reality' we experience; that everything in that reality is a profound 3D language element; that insight with the ‘center’ of spectrum is likely to be via the language-symbols of 'reality;' that these need to be interpreted at the level they are received; this is the path for intentional psi.
-- Insight on the Art of RV

Captain of the Guard

This is an experience I had near the end of 1993 I believe. Although I’ve written it down to others a few times, it’s not in my formal archives and I have no idea where to find it, so I thought I would record it again for posterity. I remembered it after reading the latest post on the Cobalt Sigil blog.

I was definitely in a trance state, but not deeply; I was resting, having finished email, and was considering what to do about dinner, as I gazed mindlessly out my back sliding glass door. It was still very light outside though evening was approaching fast, and I was feeling a bit languid and didn’t much feel like getting up and doing anything.

It took me a little while to realize that something had just happened. Often this kind of thing actually goes on for a bit before my conscious mind clues in and decides to pay attention. I had just “shared” the experience of an entity.


He had traveled far to make the request. Journeyed among many lands and strange creatures to get to the place where you could make a petition to the Gods. Maybe if you were lucky, the Gods might hear you; there was no other choice, now.

He carried the sword the King had given him personally, and he felt heavy with the responsibility. He carried the weight of worry in his heart, and the fate of

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Captain of the Guard

Remote Viewing and Energy

I would subtitle this “IG Points Out the Obvious”.

This morning me and my best friend were having a discussion about viewing — which we do regularly of course. I don’t even remember all the talk, but I remember what I was thinking about afterward. Mostly, it came down to this:

Why? When we get the totally wrong target, why? When we clearly perceive specific data, and it turns out to be wrong, why?

I don’t care about data you screw up on your own, which is the majority of problem data frankly. I don’t care about poor contact or process issues. All of those are visible at feedback, and you can learn from feedback, and that is a sport-skill. No, I am talking about when a viewer has good contact, has a clear experience, and yet that is not about the target intended. In that instance feedback is useless, is more harm than help to likely psi experience, and we don’t learn anything except not to trust ourselves.

Everybody has this in RV; nobody is exempt. Everybody seems to accept that’s the way it is. Even in the professional lab, viewers will include ‘getting the correct target to start with’ as a separate statistic; one may say, “I’m on target about 68% of the time, but when I am, about 92% of my data is accurate.” Everybody accepts that some portion of the time, a viewer

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Remote Viewing and Energy

Archetype RV (Remote Viewing)

Prior to this article, it’s best to read the previous Aspect RV post.

So as ‘Aspect RV’ settled into my psyche over time (or my psiche, as I call it, since psi is heavily involved here too), I began to realize that not only could I interact with ‘myself’ during viewing, but that the target itself seemed to interact with me.

At first I didn’t know what was going on. I would start a session and get a flash of something bizarre, like: I’m in a tiny dark stone room and there is a big sarcophagus and brilliant gold light is shining out of it but I tune in just at the INSTANT a huge heavy stone lid is slamming down and shutting out the light. WTF?? I knew it wasn’t part of the target, and I suspected it was information about the session or my contact (so… that wouldn’t be a good sign, in this case…) Or I’d be in the middle of a session and I’d see a person, like an ‘Aspect’ — but they would run in a room and slam the door. WTF?? This began happening more often as time went on. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know why it was happening. In the Official Doctrine of Methods, the data does not act out and talk to you. It’s considered “inert information” that you “passively wait for”. Yet my data was not remotely inert, and it seemed to

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Archetype RV (Remote Viewing)

Aspect RV ( Remote Viewing )

Back around early Fall of 1998 — holy cow! Ten years ago exactly! — when I was still very ignorant about RV (that is to say, I was a walking encyclopedia about what the experts selling training in the field taught, which is nothing like my models and understanding of things now…) I had a rather unusual experience.

I was in the middle of an RV session when I momentarily ‘spaced out’ and then suddenly realized that I could hear/feel a whole big group of people talking, arguing together — inside me. They were all me. All part of me.

This came as other “spontaneous psi” tends to come to me — a certain category of it, anyway — where I realize that I am seeing or hearing something but (a) somewhat after it’s already been going on, and (b) it is not really coming through my eyes/ears though I interpret it that way, and (c) although I call it ‘seeing’ or ‘hearing’ there is actually a lot of other kinds of information coming through, a more wholistic ‘understanding’, than the physical sense would have. Much like in a dream, I may know past, future, relationships, situations, ‘potentials’, and more, related to what I’m perceiving.

In pure astonishment, I observed this group. It was a large group of people, all separate identities, and yet I understood that they were all “part of what makes up the energy I think of as me”. They were having a

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Aspect RV ( Remote Viewing )

Tarot Knight of Wands, Part 2

Thoth Tarot Knight of Wands

Then I went through my inner space and asked for literally everybody one at a time, a group at a time. And IG added every planet in our solar system to the archetype mix (as well as moon) to help me. And eventually when I had nearly everybody I could think of, sans a few religious entities I didn’t ask, I imagined that I was in the middle of the archetype working area and I started to imagine that I was centered and that they would all be around or behind me. But the minute I was done and imagined myself centered, this unbelievable RUSH hit me, and I gasped out loud and my eyes flew open, and just as I was getting over that another wave of rush hit me, every hair on my body standing up and the buzzing all through me, then several more smaller but still fairly intense waves crashing into me one right after the other, and I could feel clearly that all of those energies were joining me, merging WITH me, all at once, though staggered in waves. When done I just sat blinking for a minute. I hadn’t expected that. I asked the man of the archetype if we could have fewer representatives. He vanished himself and all the beds vanished and then before me, four people appeared. Each one seemed to be significantly odd in some way, as if it were the summary of a certain kind of energy.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Tarot Knight of Wands, Part 2

Tarot Knight of Wands, Part 1

Thoth Tarot Knight of Wands

Me: Oh my god. That one is dead. Him: No, not dead. None of them are dead. I looked back at the bed with a dawning idea. “How long have they been in that condition?” I whispered, starting to feel some degree of horror. “Time is perceptual,” he said, and I understood he meant, not real and not relevant to this question, but I also understood that these are old… generally these are not energies from any time near the present in my life.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Tarot Knight of Wands, Part 1

Guerilla Tarot

My comment was: I got a kick out of the idea that tarot “be infused with our life energy but that they be animated as well, as if they were participating in a cartoon of our own making.” Tarot is ALREADY exactly that! It’s a concept-map of the experiential universe. (Probably the best work on it is from Crowley and Edwin Steinbrecher, in this regard.) You might wish to consider testing out Steinbrecher’s internal-yoga meditative approach; definitely the cards “map to” and associate with (frankly, whether we want them to or not) the energies in our existing world.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Guerilla Tarot

Windows and Synchronicity

For days I have just been in a vastly better mood about everything. I was talking at-large to all-guides one day while driving, thinking that I wanted them to help me any way they chose to, and then I wanted to “clear out doubt or attachment to reality” and “let go” so they could operate freely. I had this visual-concept of like a big sphere like a snowglobe. Except each tiny piece of snow was actually a guide “aspect of me”, and I was at the center, and all of us together were a sort of galaxy. I imagined that I released any grungy dark matter between all the stars that were me, and that my whole personal solar system / galaxy / whatever, was really clean and free. It seems to work ok, as a 1-second meditative concept.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Windows and Synchronicity

Not Quite the Golden Horse

A quote from this blog on Sep 4 (meditation was the 3rd evening):

I want to have stuff that works. If it’s not willing to work, I want it to move out of my life and be replaced by something that does. But wait, wait! I hate the timing issues on this stuff. Move in something that does work at the SAME time or very immediately after if that’s going to happen!

At that time, my car had a problem with the heat/AC. The heating fan wasn’t turning on like it should. I wanted to get it fixed but didn’t have the money. Hoped I could spare it from my paycheck in a week (that’s today).

Several days ago I got notice that the changed fiscal year of my company meant we were going to get our bonuses on the 12th. Yay! Mine was more than I had expected. Not that I don’t have 10x the “needs” of it, of course!

A few days ago my car ran out of water. Shortly after, it ran out of water and the temp light came on. I had already arranged to get the heater fan worked on today. This morning trying to get it there, the temp light came on again.

The head gasket is blown. It’s a side-mounted aluminum engine (cad 1988, my parents gave it to me 4 years ago when Jiffy Lube killed my truck). The mechanic said, “You can’t replace ’em in these, I’ve tried, they don’t even

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Not Quite the Golden Horse

Dreaming the Crash

I only got like 2 hours sleep. I barely managed to get my ass outta bed and function to start work. Geez this was easier when I wasn’t 43 (in 3 days!). Have a break here and wanted to record the dream I was having when I woke up, because I have the feeling it relates to the meditation and/or maybe the card.

Oh, so before I went to sleep, I dug out my Thoth tarot deck. It took awhile to find it. I searched the shelves in my room, then the big shelves in the living, then some storage drawers, then came back and searched the drawers on my bed (it has 12), and I found the deck inside a bag in one of those. That side of my bed has been so close to the wall for 2.5 years since I got this bed–until 2 weeks ago when I moved my bed–I’d forgotten it was there.

Before that I had been working on ideas for the ‘mental tools’ concept in RV, in ‘process’ (I’d already worked out some for ‘in reporting’). I was in a decent state of mind as a result, though sleepy. Then I found and went through the deck. I found the ‘wands’ section. I was looking for something with red, a foot (human foot; there was a big double footprint that also had red, like from big boots or something, in my visual flash), and maybe a horse. As it turns out, all the

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Dreaming the Crash

A Heavy Issue, Take I

Tonight I ran in to see IG, concerned I’d be too sleepy. I just hugged her. For the first time ever, I feel a sort of maternal sense about my IG. Maybe that is natural. Anyway I said, “I don’t know what to work on. I don’t want to do one of the things you give me that are so intangible. All my ideas seem kind of trivial or stuff I’ve done before. What is important, that I should ask for?

I had this sudden memory. Fairly recently my boyfriend said, “You know, it amazes me that you’ve done so much heavy duty internal work, and yet while you consider your weight a major issue in your life, you don’t meditate on that.” He’s right. He doesn’t care about it, but I do, and I guess it IS weird that I haven’t made that a meditation point. Being fat ruined my life to a great degree, the way I see it, and blitzed metabolism that brought that on, kept it on, and makes it damn hard to lose (I’ve lost about 40% of it), just perpetuates the problem.

I thought that sudden memory was IG giving me an answer. So I said, “OK, I want to meditate on “my problem with extra bodyfat” now.”

I sneezed violently.

I said dryly to IG, “Well that’s gonna be quite the meditation I bet.” IG seemed amused, in a good way, the first time I’ve got that sense from her.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at A Heavy Issue, Take I

Inner Turbulence

There were now three pieces, of three sizes. They were black and soft but firm, like large elongated eggs. Which felt kind of gross in a way, but much better than the initial arch had. I imagined sending “pure love energy” at their centers, and I asked the Angelics to help me do it right and trusted they would, as they were touching my back again, and I just kept pouring it into the three pieces until I could feel the smallest one starting to reach maximum absorption.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Inner Turbulence