I have found that:
  • → sincere prayer
  • → genuine intentions
  • → present-focus
  • → extended humor
  • → careful integrity
  • → constant work to discover and release all forms of bias in oneself
  • → dogged effort to pursue awareness, divine guidance and understanding
Leads a person to "interactive insight from the inside."

Consciously I want to evolve.
My ego resists strenuously.
I surreally "forget" so much!
So I blog for myself, mostly:
to re-read and remember.

People ask me where to begin with the complexity of the stuff on my blog. But my imaginal and related work spans 25 years as of 2016. So the real answer is "I don't know." I can't put all that in a sound bite. And one would have to understand, not just intellectually but experientially, a lot of it from start to middle to begin to understand where I am now. It is 'active imagination' work, resting on an extremely 'open' definition of archetype and energy, mapped at times to various occult patterns because they seem useful and otherwise just loosely personal; but that's not all. Short of how the blog speaks for itself that's about all I can say about it. It's a path I've built myself, for one. ~ Palyne

In the human spirit, as in the universe, nothing is higher or lower; everything has equal rights to a common center which manifests its hidden existence precisely through this harmonic relationship between every part and itself.
-- Goethe

Angels transcend every religion, every philosophy, every creed. In fact angels have no religion as we know it... their existence precedes every religious system that has ever existed on earth.
-- St. Thomas Aquinas

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In the beginning all was indivisible. And in becoming manifest, it became, seemingly, divisible. But the divisions must evolve to recognize themselves, and each other, and to then accept themselves, to truly know themselves by knowing each other. To begin, they are blended, confused; it is chaos, it is legion. They are all on the journey to indivisibility, to singularity, to the I AM. The point, of course, is not the destination, but the journey.

-- insight during the Princess of Disks meditation

Spiritual growth is like all other types: you absorb seemingly 'other' energy, and it becomes part of your own sense of identity. The growth is in awareness, and with that comes power which is always over Self.
Diversity is Legion;
Singularity is the I AM.
None of this is new although my approach to it is my own. -- Palyne

Inner Guide is Angelic. She is free of anything akin to doctrine. I call her an Angel because that is the only word I have for it, and because I know, all the way through me, that this is our word for her fundamentally divine nature. Aside from that, I don’t even know what she IS exactly, or what it means, or where it would fit into any model. She is life sized, soul wide, colors and gems and flowers and songs, everything beautiful that ever was, condensed into an identity I am completely in love with–except she feels like part of me too, so it’s like also being in love with yourself, and also with God, and also with the whole universe, both every tiny thing in your mundania, and ‘awareness’ as something so utterly, mind-bogglingly amazing — how could this exist? How could this not exist? How could I ever understand such a thing? — I am left only with joy, with awe.
-- on Inner Guide #4, aka 'Sedaena'. The first IG I had genuine conversation (and reading) with; the first real sign of my HGA.

He is so much inside and outside me, larger than me and yet the light of the tiniest particles of me, I don’t even have a word for whatever it is that he IS. I call him angelic and inner guide and the name he gave me because I have no idea what else to call this. It’s a Being and a Thing and an Event and a Place and a Relationship and… it’s like there is no label that is remotely big enough to encompass whatever it IS.
-- on Inner Guide #5, aka 'Mark.'

The boundary between the imaginational and imaginal is rather fuzzy and it is a developed skill and art to learn to stay there; to maintain your own autonomy while allowing the-others’ autonomy; to be shocked, astounded, grossed out, effused, and other surprise emotions from the interaction; all this without getting lost in the experience like a dream, yet also without pulling back to controlling the experience like a daydream. The former is being swept away by the river, and the latter is standing on the shore thinking about it; learning to walk the fine line of control and allowance to stay in that ‘imaginal realm’ actually takes practice. Crazy people think it’s all autonomous and happening ‘to’ them; people unable to allow this for themselves, may think it’s all imagination; and they’d both be right, because they are both lost; the goal is a whole world that bridges and encompasses both of those.

-- on "Interworlds Meditation"

Q: Where are you now?

Me: Well, back in my own reality.

Q: Wrong. You are in a reality version that distraction and denial have made for you.

Me: How do I get out?

Q: Wrong question. There is no space, there is no time. Where are you again?

Me: Oh. I’m wherever I "pay attention" to being.

Q: Right. You PAY attention. It is the currency of your soul. You rent your reality. Never forget that. The choice to move is yours.

Dealing with the unconscious has become a question of life for us.
The play of the imagination is incalculable.
~ Carl Jung

The imaginary can be innocuous, the imaginal never can.
~ Henry Corbin

A calling may be postponed, avoided, intermittently missed. It may also possess you completely. Whatever; eventually it will out. It makes its claim. The daimon does not go away.
~ James Hillman

There comes a time when the mind takes a higher plane of knowledge but can never prove how it got there.
-- Albert Einstein


This blog documents much of my work in the "inter-worlds" of a greater-self. It's not just esoteric: every thing corresponds — the mundane, the arcane, the divine. If it had to be summed up you might say it is "a universe of personalization." A strange place where monotheism and ultimate-pantheism are one and the same.

I am a natural mystic, if spontaneous experiences determine such a thing. I am not religious in any way; only guidance from the inside drives me. No identities or models unless they are introduced to me from the inside. (Sometimes I use them simply for interest, or because their models are convenient doorways -- but I accept none of their doctrines.) I briefly studied theology at one point, independently (I consider constant prayer a valid part of edu too), and where it led me was "anywhere-else." It's fine for others of course. I consider the heart of free will to be that everyone has their own road. Or as Heinlein once wrote, the right to go to hell in their own handbasket.

This tends to make me obsessed with the divine yet not religious at all, in any form, which is often confusing to onlookers. I am ever in love with and in closer pursuit of integration with The Christ (which I consider a solar-planetary deity, exceeding and preceding all possible religion, though cyclically present within our species) but I'm not remotely a modern Christian, and this also tends to be very confusing to onlookers. I'm a student of archetypes and pattern systems, yet not a jungian intellectual - armchair philosophy bores me - nor a power occultist - which has its own issues (and uniforms) to say the least.

After nearly two decades of certain experiences I felt alone with and thought were unique to me, it turns out I find some harmony in the gnostic writings. I didn't get it from there, and am not fond of that doctrine and the paradigms it came in with, so I ignore it. Which means despite talking about just a few things specific to it (by unknowing accident until a few years ago), I'm not part of that model either.

The road I walk is my own. It doesn't really have an easy label or anybody else on it, that I can see. This is between me and God, so it doesn't really need to work for anybody else. I used to wish I wasn't the only person with such experiences or practices, and started a blog in part in the hope I might find others with something similar. Maybe a need for community. I'm over that now, at least I think. I walk alone, but Light is with me. Can't ask for more than that.

-- Palyne

When we understand that perception is as much about source as target; that energy is a spectrum and best psi perception comes from the center, its balance and blend; that the manifest communication of our Selves is the literal 'reality' we experience; that everything in that reality is a profound 3D language element; that insight with the ‘center’ of spectrum is likely to be via the language-symbols of 'reality;' that these need to be interpreted at the level they are received; this is the path for intentional psi.
-- Insight on the Art of RV

Knock Knock, Neo

I’d like to do another archmed but literally, I came out of that one, and I could “feel it slipping away” from my memory. I’ve felt more of that lately. I mean even when I have good ones I often forget them entirely and if I didn’t occasionally look back in my blog, that would have been that. I have edited this post while writing to add in a ton of stuff I forgot as I was typing it out. I don’t know why but it seems like my level of denial has just amplified considerably. I want to be aware of that problem and compensate for it, help prevent myself doing that kind of thing.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Knock Knock, Neo

Tarot Adjustment, Take II

Thoth Tarot Trumps VIII Adjustment

The moment I arrived and took IG’s hands–already my mind trying to escape–and begged her to help hold my attention there, I began abreacting. Muscle spasms went crazy. … It is very obvious I have a severe problem with this archetype but I can’t really figure out why. It’s just a card, just a symbol like anything else, and yes I realize that all Tarot symbols are universal archetypes and extremely powerful, but since I honestly felt this was “my” card, I actually thought it would be fun and easy. … The insight was something like, “You are in denial and avoidance because she is Truth. Real Truth. All the parts of you that hide from the Truth — of who you really are, mostly, of who you are meant to be, of the potential you run from — they fear her light. Exposure to her will destroy and kill the lies that make up a good part of your reality and hide you from things you don’t want to know. Of course your subconscious is acting terrified.”

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Tarot Adjustment, Take II

Tarot Adjustment

Thoth Tarot Trumps VIII Adjustment

And then yesterday out of the blue I got the idea to meditate on Thoth’s “Adjustment” and its deeper archetypal meaning. I realized that IG is the source of these spontaneous insights, which hit when I am minding my own business doing something else. I think she wants me to think it’s my idea. I told my boyfriend that and he laughed. He said “That’s what you get for having a woman IG now! All the ideas will come from her but she’ll let you think it’s YOUR idea.” That seems pretty funny. Well so I thought I would meditate on that last night as my first request and then do one IG wanted. I went to bed early enough to make it happen. I lit incense and a small votive and did what I could to make it a ritual. But it was HARD. I had to drag myself back to the meditation a dozen times before I even got to the cave! I had dragged myself back a good two dozen times before I ever even made it to IG! I hadn’t expected it would be hard. To me it’s just a tarot card; so what? But this is probably the hardest med I have tried to do in I can’t remember how long, if I could barely even GET there and only with immense self discipline. And my mind kept sliding right off and I would yell, “Freeze! Now back up… what was I doing…” until I finally got back to realizing I was trying to meditate on adjustment and would go back to what I was doing. It was just crazy!

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Tarot Adjustment

Inner vs. Outer Energy

Lately I’m in the mood to wax on about this stuff so I decided I should blog on any conversation about it I had to put in writing anyway.

So regarding the part where she plucked the energy-object from you: does an archetype ever request something like this and you don’t feel comfortable giving it to them?

You mean, does an archetype ever make you feel wary and worried and unsafe? Hell yes of course, if I had a perfect relationship with them I usually wouldn’t be meditating on them in the first place. ;-)

That is part of the point though. You honor them, respect them, and when you really want to run away or refuse them, you make a point to trust them, because that is another way of showing honor, is making a point to give them that. It’s a relationship. It takes work.

Sometimes I’ve had a real problem with an arch and I’ve just stood there and poured my heart out about how I felt and how sorry I was that I found their giant insect head so revolting and how I wanted to truly know them however they were and I hoped they’d be willing to work with me even though I’m an ignorant dolt sometimes because despite my fear I meant well and I knew they’d be really awesome when I got over my own stuff and accepted them. This is another kind of working with an arch; talking helps too and

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Inner vs. Outer Energy

Personalization, Archmeds, Healing, Realitymeds

I get a lot of email from the public, not much of which I have time to answer. But this one recently, I started to answer, then it became an essay, then I had to write something else as background, and finally I gave up and decided that I must really need to flesh that out, and I should blog it.

So the following post covers:

Personalization Archetype Meditations Hands-on Energy Healing Energy Geometry A little more on personalization How to do “Reality Meds” as I called them

The email that sparked this novel:

I came across the following statement on your website: “I believe that what is inside me, is reflected outside me, and that the ‘personal relationship’ is basically the spiritual ‘technology’ of “causing change in accordance with one’s will” (creation of reality, aka ‘magick’).”

The first part I understand, because I also experience the inner and the outer as mutually reflective. But I don’t understand what is meant by “personal relationship is basically the spiritual technology of causing change in accordance with one’s will.” Would you explain what that means or point me to a resource explaining it?


Ceremonial Magick is a combination of several kinds of yoga simultaneously: physical, mental, emotional, etc. Magick is yoga-with-drama, I joke. Pretty much every powerful form of working on reality comes down to symbolism: to developing “intuitive” practices that allow you to “experience your inner landscape and its inhabitants” and to interact with that.

Archetype meditations are a

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Personalization, Archmeds, Healing, Realitymeds

IG and the Commitment

Remembering that, I laid my hands and forehead against a part of the metal of the arch and just imagined that I was in rapport with it and one with it and really affectionate about it and I wanted to know how it felt, and I felt kind of good while doing that, so although it meant I had no idea what was going on with it as I couldn’t ‘see’ anything, I just kept that position and process for awhile. Finally it felt so different I stepped back and to my utter astonishment, it had become a woman.

In fifteen years, no archetype that was not human to begin with had ever become human after the work. Usually if it starts a machine, it ends a machine, just one in much better shape in some fashion. I’d never even thought of such a thing. I mean I guess there is no reason why not. It’s just totally different.

She was so cute! Just adorable. She had black hair and laughing eyes and just… that sort of “devilishly adorable” look that some women have. I couldn’t even speak at first I was so surprised my machine was a woman, and then I said, “What do I DO with you? You’re adorable!” and we decided to be “friends.” I mean girlfriends like children, like I haven’t had in almost longer than I can remember. And we held hands and ran to a merry-go-round that IG summoned, and we laid on our backs and watched the sky turn around for a bit.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at IG and the Commitment

IG and the 3-Headed Hydra

The arch was one of those creatures that looks like a dragon with three very long necks-heads. I went up to it but it kept trying to eat me, so I froze it in stasis while I considered it. I wasn’t real clear about it until I flew up and looked down on it. It looked as if each of the necks/heads pulled so powerfully in its own direction, that the part of the body where they joined was seriously injured, torn and bloody. So I healed all that, then turned the whole thing into energy until it felt non-mass, and then merged it all together and into me. It was only a mild feeling, and I nearly griped to IG about that seeming lack of success, until I remembered her telling me that I have wrong definitions about what matters on these things. I guess only caring about the med for the sake of the merge is like only caring about a job for money, or a relationship for sex; it matters, but it’s really the least of the many things involved.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at IG and the 3-Headed Hydra

Archmed: Gaia and the Pyramid

And then without warning, as sudden and shocking as the jerk upward by the wrists had been in the previous meditation, it happened. The top of the pyramid seemed to suck in massive energy all the way from the center of the universe out in the starry sky somewhere, that went straight down into the top of my spinning triangle (which was sometimes more like a spinning circle) and through it, through the crown of my head, all the way through my body in the middle, through the bottom of the spinning shape, through the bottom of the pyramid, and all the way to the center of earth. As if the spinning had created a vortex and the pyramid had created a sort of shape of power and the two sort of “sucked” the energy down through. It was so powerful that my body, sitting on my bed, jerked fully spine-upright, my head thrown back and my mouth open, and it was almost like being struck by lightning from the inside for several long seconds, as this whole column of energy rushed through me. I was surprised how intense it was and how long it lasted, and it had the ‘sense of rushing-merging’ that a great archmed does and I realized that I had, by chance or by IG’s help, finally stumbled on what I needed to do for this arch. Absolutely awesome! Really body-and-mind-blowing.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Archmed: Gaia and the Pyramid

IG and the Pagan Night

And the world went black and the moon came out and I turned from it to look at her and she looked rather like an archetype herself then, long thick wavy dark hair flying everywhere and she began chanting in some unknown language. I’m sure my eyes were wide, since I hadn’t really expected it to be THAT kind of ritual! I had the odd sense, as she chanted, that although in my world, ceremonial magick is like yoga+meditation+drama, that in some other worlds, maybe including hers, this ritual she was doing was actually quite REAL and powerful. Then she stopped, and she pulled out a knife and sliced a short wound in her inside forearm and held it up to me to drink the welling blood.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at IG and the Pagan Night

The Antisocial Blues

I’ve been thinking lately about my curious behavior. Sometimes, I astound even myself, and wonder how it is I can be so old and still occasionally feel like I have no idea what subconscious motives are making me operate.

In this case, it’s the Antisocial Blues as I call them.

Now, when I moved here to nowhere Oklahoma, I was working 100+ hrs/wk doing programming and related project management. I never left the house except to get fast food (almost my only food) or go to the bank (where the tellers very clearly considered me a drug dealer, given their behavior, because of the large sums of checks/cash I dealt with then. As if I wouldn’t have been skinnier had drugs been an issue, haha). Even office supplies were delivered. As a result, I very seldom encountered other people.

I did meet parents of other kids on occasion, first at daycare and then at school as my kid got older, and at soccor. I always rather hoped to find someone I could bond to, someone who could be a friend, especially as my working hours relaxed slightly, and I got rather tired of having nobody to talk to but a small child and too many cats. But I have so little in common with what seems to be most all the people in my region, that aside from human biology, we share so little we could be aliens to each other.

I thought perhaps I could hang out at a

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at The Antisocial Blues