I have found that:
  • → sincere prayer
  • → genuine intentions
  • → present-focus
  • → extended humor
  • → careful integrity
  • → constant work to discover and release all forms of bias in oneself
  • → dogged effort to pursue awareness, divine guidance and understanding
Leads a person to "interactive insight from the inside."

Consciously I want to evolve.
My ego resists strenuously.
I surreally "forget" so much!
So I blog for myself, mostly:
to re-read and remember.

People ask me where to begin with the complexity of the stuff on my blog. But my imaginal and related work spans 25 years as of 2016. So the real answer is "I don't know." I can't put all that in a sound bite. And one would have to understand, not just intellectually but experientially, a lot of it from start to middle to begin to understand where I am now. It is 'active imagination' work, resting on an extremely 'open' definition of archetype and energy, mapped at times to various occult patterns because they seem useful and otherwise just loosely personal; but that's not all. Short of how the blog speaks for itself that's about all I can say about it. It's a path I've built myself, for one. ~ Palyne

In the human spirit, as in the universe, nothing is higher or lower; everything has equal rights to a common center which manifests its hidden existence precisely through this harmonic relationship between every part and itself.
-- Goethe

Angels transcend every religion, every philosophy, every creed. In fact angels have no religion as we know it... their existence precedes every religious system that has ever existed on earth.
-- St. Thomas Aquinas

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In the beginning all was indivisible. And in becoming manifest, it became, seemingly, divisible. But the divisions must evolve to recognize themselves, and each other, and to then accept themselves, to truly know themselves by knowing each other. To begin, they are blended, confused; it is chaos, it is legion. They are all on the journey to indivisibility, to singularity, to the I AM. The point, of course, is not the destination, but the journey.

-- insight during the Princess of Disks meditation

Spiritual growth is like all other types: you absorb seemingly 'other' energy, and it becomes part of your own sense of identity. The growth is in awareness, and with that comes power which is always over Self.
Diversity is Legion;
Singularity is the I AM.
None of this is new although my approach to it is my own. -- Palyne

Inner Guide is Angelic. She is free of anything akin to doctrine. I call her an Angel because that is the only word I have for it, and because I know, all the way through me, that this is our word for her fundamentally divine nature. Aside from that, I don’t even know what she IS exactly, or what it means, or where it would fit into any model. She is life sized, soul wide, colors and gems and flowers and songs, everything beautiful that ever was, condensed into an identity I am completely in love with–except she feels like part of me too, so it’s like also being in love with yourself, and also with God, and also with the whole universe, both every tiny thing in your mundania, and ‘awareness’ as something so utterly, mind-bogglingly amazing — how could this exist? How could this not exist? How could I ever understand such a thing? — I am left only with joy, with awe.
-- on Inner Guide #4, aka 'Sedaena'. The first IG I had genuine conversation (and reading) with; the first real sign of my HGA.

He is so much inside and outside me, larger than me and yet the light of the tiniest particles of me, I don’t even have a word for whatever it is that he IS. I call him angelic and inner guide and the name he gave me because I have no idea what else to call this. It’s a Being and a Thing and an Event and a Place and a Relationship and… it’s like there is no label that is remotely big enough to encompass whatever it IS.
-- on Inner Guide #5, aka 'Mark.'

The boundary between the imaginational and imaginal is rather fuzzy and it is a developed skill and art to learn to stay there; to maintain your own autonomy while allowing the-others’ autonomy; to be shocked, astounded, grossed out, effused, and other surprise emotions from the interaction; all this without getting lost in the experience like a dream, yet also without pulling back to controlling the experience like a daydream. The former is being swept away by the river, and the latter is standing on the shore thinking about it; learning to walk the fine line of control and allowance to stay in that ‘imaginal realm’ actually takes practice. Crazy people think it’s all autonomous and happening ‘to’ them; people unable to allow this for themselves, may think it’s all imagination; and they’d both be right, because they are both lost; the goal is a whole world that bridges and encompasses both of those.

-- on "Interworlds Meditation"

Q: Where are you now?

Me: Well, back in my own reality.

Q: Wrong. You are in a reality version that distraction and denial have made for you.

Me: How do I get out?

Q: Wrong question. There is no space, there is no time. Where are you again?

Me: Oh. I’m wherever I "pay attention" to being.

Q: Right. You PAY attention. It is the currency of your soul. You rent your reality. Never forget that. The choice to move is yours.

Dealing with the unconscious has become a question of life for us.
The play of the imagination is incalculable.
~ Carl Jung

The imaginary can be innocuous, the imaginal never can.
~ Henry Corbin

A calling may be postponed, avoided, intermittently missed. It may also possess you completely. Whatever; eventually it will out. It makes its claim. The daimon does not go away.
~ James Hillman

There comes a time when the mind takes a higher plane of knowledge but can never prove how it got there.
-- Albert Einstein


This blog documents much of my work in the "inter-worlds" of a greater-self. It's not just esoteric: every thing corresponds — the mundane, the arcane, the divine. If it had to be summed up you might say it is "a universe of personalization." A strange place where monotheism and ultimate-pantheism are one and the same.

I am a natural mystic, if spontaneous experiences determine such a thing. I am not religious in any way; only guidance from the inside drives me. No identities or models unless they are introduced to me from the inside. (Sometimes I use them simply for interest, or because their models are convenient doorways -- but I accept none of their doctrines.) I briefly studied theology at one point, independently (I consider constant prayer a valid part of edu too), and where it led me was "anywhere-else." It's fine for others of course. I consider the heart of free will to be that everyone has their own road. Or as Heinlein once wrote, the right to go to hell in their own handbasket.

This tends to make me obsessed with the divine yet not religious at all, in any form, which is often confusing to onlookers. I am ever in love with and in closer pursuit of integration with The Christ (which I consider a solar-planetary deity, exceeding and preceding all possible religion, though cyclically present within our species) but I'm not remotely a modern Christian, and this also tends to be very confusing to onlookers. I'm a student of archetypes and pattern systems, yet not a jungian intellectual - armchair philosophy bores me - nor a power occultist - which has its own issues (and uniforms) to say the least.

After nearly two decades of certain experiences I felt alone with and thought were unique to me, it turns out I find some harmony in the gnostic writings. I didn't get it from there, and am not fond of that doctrine and the paradigms it came in with, so I ignore it. Which means despite talking about just a few things specific to it (by unknowing accident until a few years ago), I'm not part of that model either.

The road I walk is my own. It doesn't really have an easy label or anybody else on it, that I can see. This is between me and God, so it doesn't really need to work for anybody else. I used to wish I wasn't the only person with such experiences or practices, and started a blog in part in the hope I might find others with something similar. Maybe a need for community. I'm over that now, at least I think. I walk alone, but Light is with me. Can't ask for more than that.

-- Palyne

When we understand that perception is as much about source as target; that energy is a spectrum and best psi perception comes from the center, its balance and blend; that the manifest communication of our Selves is the literal 'reality' we experience; that everything in that reality is a profound 3D language element; that insight with the ‘center’ of spectrum is likely to be via the language-symbols of 'reality;' that these need to be interpreted at the level they are received; this is the path for intentional psi.
-- Insight on the Art of RV

The Archetypes of Ry

Then we went back and finished the work with her moon. She said she thought she liked the silver polar bear better, so she worked with that. I can’t remember the energy object trade. She attempted a merge. She said that it worked, that she felt something. She said, “It was stronger than I felt with the sun, but what I felt with the sun lasted a couple seconds longer.”

She didn’t seem to have any trouble making a sacred space.
She didn’t seem to have any trouble meeting her inner guide promptly.
She didn’t seem to have any trouble seeing him.
She didn’t seem to have any trouble hearing him.
She didn’t seem to have any trouble meeting, seeing, hearing, archetypes.
Or trading the energy objects. Or even merging with them.

I was 29 years old when I learned this, to the head-banging resistance of my left brain, and it took me like WEEKS of doing these meditations a few times a day before I could do all that.

I told her that. She giggled. “You’re retarded, mom! But I love you anyway,” she assured me, as she snuggled into me. “Well you’re awesome with this,” I told her in return. “Gifted, psychic–amazing. If you do these regularly you could be way happy and pretty powerful by the time you were 18. You should have your blackbelt by then too. Boy you’ll be a Xena to reckon with!” She laughed and snuggled more and finally, thank goodness, fell asleep, her soft lips against my shoulder and her even breathing giving her sleep away.

I can’t imagine learning to work with archetypes at the age of 11. It was mind blowing when I really got into them at nearly 30.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at The Archetypes of Ry

Med: Inhibitors to Conscious Psi Functioning

I used to have nearly every archmed be amazing and “work”. Lately I feel like I’m in over my head and nothing’s working very well. I don’t really know what any of that means and I still don’t know what to do with the archetype. Usually there is something wrong or different and I have to change that.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Med: Inhibitors to Conscious Psi Functioning

No-brainer observation

Maybe the only thing consistent about my archmeds over the years is that the bigger the problem, the harder it is to get around to doing them at all; and if I do them, the harder it is to perceive them at all; and if I perceive them, the harder it is to merge with them; the more likely it is that it will take multiple meditations over time to get there.

It just occurred to me that I am not merely working with “problematic issues” the last couple days. I am working with my BIIIIIIG-est problem. Of all the millions of possible problems, issues, archetypes, etc. that I could be dealing with, I chose the BIGgest problem. Of course.

So it’s almost moronic for me to expect that they are going to be easy, go super well, and result in a great rushing merge. It is frankly almost miraculous that I got around to doing them at all, that I could perceive them at all, and that it went as well as it has, and that I’ve had even the barely-noticed merge from a couple. I should be amazed and glad, not bitching about my incompetence.

If I had a brain, I’d be dangerous.

Ok, back to work now…


Med: My Biggest Problem, Take 3

I was looking at a bronzed statue of a roman centurion. His knees were slightly bent and he had a big sword and a round shield, but I don’t think he was wearing a helmet. (I kind of wondered about the soldier symbology, given the last arch had that too.) As I stood there pondering it, I “understood” that this was not a statue. I had this overlay of the Narnia movie (and books) and how the white witch had frozen life forms as statues. So I anchored myself and imagined my heart chakra opening and asked for Aslan and The Christ to help me out and I put my hands on his thighs and imagined pouring gold loving energy into him. After a few moments, I also imagined pouring some of my own blood and living biochemicals into him, to help restore him. And finally he started changing, first inside and then finally visibly, until eventually the metal-bronze was completely gone and the man stood before me, just looking at me quietly.

I don’t know why, but I felt guilty. I don’t think I’ve ever felt guilty with an archetype before. But I found myself saying, “I’m so sorry. I know there is no excuse, so I can only apologize for whatever I did to entrap you or create that stasis. I’m glad you’re free. If you need anything, I am here for you.” He didn’t say anything, just considered me. I stood on my toes and kissed him, and he kissed me back, but when I tried to merge into him, we couldn’t do it. I kissed him again anyway and told him he was beautiful and I was sorry and that if he wasn’t ready to merge I understood or would try to, and I thanked him for spending that time with me.

I created in the palm of my hand an earring, something I felt represented his strength, his style, his independence, and I put it on him. He took off a big leather armband from his bicep, and he put it on me. I half-bowed to him, and he turned and disappeared.

I looked at IG. “I’m just completely incompetent apparently,” I groused.
“You have the wrong expectations for this,” she said.
“I just want to merge!” I said in exasperation. “I can’t touch anybody lately, apparently!”
“That’s not always the right thing to do,” she said. “You are accomplishing a great deal.”

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Med: My Biggest Problem, Take 3

Med: My Biggest Problem, Take 2

I went back to IG and asked her for the next iteration of ‘My Biggest Problem’. Whether this was something different, or another stage of the initial thing, who knows, up to her. I let her bring the arch to our space and then I turned around. On one hand, this one was an archetype, not a whole minor world. On the other hand, there were nine of them. Three sets of three. (Curiously, that’s the symbol from a recent dream too.) They were identical soldiers, about 7-8 feet tall, wearing hard stone-like armor with helmets. They almost looked like oversized statues.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Med: My Biggest Problem, Take 2

About Nero

Discovered something surprising today but first I should share some info about Nero on this blog because he’s only mentioned now and then elsewhere and it looks like he is going to figure quite a bit on this one.

First, I’d kind of forgotten the detail or got it wrong concerning him. But more importantly, I had not realized — at ALL, in fact I’d even forgotten some of these things until I re-read them today!! — that in a way, Nero was working on the same stuff with me eons ago as we are doing now — but I never finished. So apparently when I start back up, there we are! Like I never left off. The approach with IG is different but when I saw the accounts of him previous I realized it’s all basically tying into the same dynamic.

Here is a summary of my work with him from previous other-blog entries.

June 2006:

So I visualized sitting here and syncing with my third eye and then looking to my upper left where I had been for the girl. I nearly jumped back in my mind—a man was standing there right in front of me! I thought WOW, that’s clearer than usual and right-there-ready. He was maybe mid-20’s to mid-30’s, hard for me to place an age. I was kind of astonished to see him there. I thought, is this some part of me I don’t want to see for some reason? I wonder why? I just

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at About Nero

More Musing

In all honesty I didn’t think the meditation I finished yesterday was that big a deal. It was different — the whole process had some differences, from how I chose to get to/from the area, to the size of the river in my cave, to the very novel way of presenting an archetype IG chose, to IG herself — but although I had the merge effect, it wasn’t nearly as strong as I would have expected for something that large and complex and for something that serious (‘my biggest problem’).

My interaction with outer guides afterwards failed. My interaction with the control center afterwards failed, and then barely worked at all. So on the whole, it was a good effort, but it didn’t seem like an overly successful day.

Yet having a major water dream suggests something did change in me, and now I can’t seem to quit thinking about related stuff even though I’m trying to work here.

So, some more musing on the topic, which I may add to through the day…

Trapped Soul

I once had a viewing session where I sensed some combination of shade (a ghost, but I actually had the old-fashioned sense of the word ‘shade’) and ‘star’ (an impression of a source of energy-light, but so small, with an overlay of the Crowley use of the word Star in Liber al vel Legis), and believed it to be a soul. The session had so far, as data, been a woman, with something in

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at More Musing

Random Thoughts

I was thinking just a bit ago, while driving my kid to school, about where I have felt that feeling before. The one in the meditation and in the dream both. The one where there is much info under the surface, you don’t and even can’t know it consciously, but you have to trust that your subconscious can handle it, and you have to hold your conscious intent in such a way as to make that happen.

It’s an odd contradiction of sorts. You can’t look at it directly consciously; none of it is clear enough, and focusing on any one thing would make it impossible, it would mess it up. Kind of like how when you’re doing something fast and complicated, physically, sometimes you have to NOT focus-in or you will screw it up; you have to let that semi-autonomous part of your brain, the one that manages the amazing physics of catching a ball when juggling 5 of them, to operate. In a way you are UN-focusing on any-single-thing consciously, while holding the intent that the lower-level of your brain is going to be able to catch any number of unknown things SUBconsciously, and at the same time you have to hold this sort of “optimistic, positive expectation and belief that it could be ok, this could work.”

I think this relates to probabilities and creating reality. So often we don’t really know WHAT it is we are trying to accomplish; if we did, we would be trying

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Random Thoughts

Dream: Flooding

I dreamed last night, and I think it symbolically relates to the meditative stuff so I’m putting it here.

I lived on a fairly high floor on an island. But it was storming bigtime, a literal typhoon, high winds and seas, and the waters and flooding came. Concerned it was going to reach my floor even though it was so high, I became really worried when it was obvious it would. A wave knocked down the outer wall of my apartment and I grabbed the big soft sofa and held on as tight as I could.

The sofa I was on washed out of my apartment and into the water. Sure I would capsize and die at any moment, or something big would hit me and I would die at any moment, or in fact SOMETHING was likely to happen causing me to die at any moment, I held on to the sofa, closed my eyes tight, and tried to “think positively about every good probability that could happen to save me”–not to spell it out in my mind, because I did not know WHAT those probabilities might be, but to allow them, to assume that my subconscious was capable of finding and arranging them, it feeling just like when I had allowed the many disparate archetypes to come under connection in my meditation earlier–and time passed.

I woke up later to find myself floating near the far shore of a different island that had been a helluva distance away.

This is an excerpt. Read the full article at Dream: Flooding