Consciously I want to evolve.
My ego resists and I forget.
I blog, re-read, remember.
So I blog for me, mostly.
I have found that:
- → sincere and regular prayer
- → genuinely good intentions
- → present-focus, "interest"
- → extended sense of humor
- → honesty, sharing, healing
- → constant work to discover and release bias in oneself
- →
dogged (to the extreme) effort to pursue awareness and understanding
Leads a person to "interactive insight from the inside." We only grok by going through. Spiritual growth is like all others: you absorb, become aware, and via love (sympathetic rapport and desire to become or absorb) and will (directed intent), that energy becomes part of your singular sense of identity. The 'growth' is in awareness, and with that comes power which is always over Self. Diversity is Legion; Singularity is the I AM. None of this is new or unique. It's simply "unconscious and slow" for most people. I figure I can't help doing it, so I would rather do it well than badly. Darkness is not of the Nothingness. It is not the opposite of light, as it only exists within the realm of light itself. Darkness is just something-ness lacking color. The universe is fundamentally of light, and darkness fails to hold dominance and fails to understand why: its nature precludes it: awareness itself makes all identities children of the light.
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Posted by Palyne on 2008.12.21 Yesterday when napping I had such an ‘astral-ish’ dream. The sort where you can totally feel your energy body moving around. It vaguely related to remote viewing but I didn’t remember much detail. Only that I was lying on a trampoline and gently throwing myself (impossibly) up into the air and then sinking low and rebounding.
Last night I was dreaming and again, I was focused on remote viewing. Not a surprise as I’ve been working on a human target pool yesterday and today. A man showed up to help me who seemed normal and friendly, we were going to be working on my RV, and I was just feeling enthusiastic when another man showed up very suddenly and pulled me away from him, forward in space but somehow in time as well.
The man who had arrived had a ‘fascination’ element for me; his eyes were black and hypnotic. In the back of my head, I was concerned about the nice guy, but couldn’t seem to think very clearly about it anymore.
We were continuing on this journey, and the first man showed up behind us to join me. He seemed to think that it was his place to be with me related to RV. The second man with ‘the eyes’ grabbed him and threw him some impossible distance away. I looked back, stricken, worried that he would be harmed, and it seemed he had crumbled in a heap in the distance. But then the new guy’s eyes distracted
Posted by Palyne on 2008.12.16 This is the second meditation in that fear of psi series. I need to do more of these.
From Jul 18 2002. Archmed: Fear of Psi #2
It was late last night, but I had to go back in to work more with ‘fear of psi’ arch. I’d been putting it off which is only a sign it needs doing.
First I went to this house I have over past a canyon in my sacred space. I put some energy into its reality as a thoughtform. Just as I was about to turn to the door, I SAW a guide. (Later edit: forgot to say it was Brin.)
SAW him! Visually! Totally clear! For the first time in my whole life! I have ‘felt’ guides. Once in awhile I can hear like words if they say them quick. I block them – I feel the block – drives me nuts but that’s the way it was. I held onto the visual while I said over and over in my head, oh my god! I can see him! I can really SEE him! Oh my god!
I finally said TO him, “I – I can SEE you!! How come I can see you?!” And he said, “Because you are ready for me.” I lost the meaning of this because then I was going, “Oh my god! I can HEAR you too!” LOL. I have the attention span of my 5 year old…
Well after a bit, I decided I
Posted by Palyne on 2008.12.16 Since I still haven’t gotten to #3 of the Knight of Wands meditation, I thought I would post a couple 2002-era impactive archmeds that I just found the record of yesterday. I wonder why sometimes the stuff I most expect to be nothing and shrug off, turn out to be the most mind bending.
From Jul 18 2002. Archmed: Fear of Psi #1
I decided to do an archetype meditation on ‘fear of psi’.
While I’ve never felt this is much of an issue for me, some psychologists, such as Dr. Charles T. Tart, feel that fear of psi is a culturally common thing, much moreso than we realize, so I figured, it could not hurt to give it a try. (Didn’t expect much.)
I was using a hemi-sync CD, focus 12 freeflow, which I put on repeat. I first spent some time just getting in a nicely altered state. I feel much more in touch with my ‘emotional body’ in F12 and I tend to feel emotions and such very _physically_, so it is really good for these meds.
I asked my guide for the archetype of My Fear of Psi. I rather figured this would be a fairly quick meditation, but who knows, maybe useful in some way.
The arch was humanoid. I turned to look at him and nearly hyperventilated as I put my hands on my chest. I couldn’t see him well. He was covered with the symbol of fear, a “spiders in the
Posted by Palyne on 2008.11.24 
I swear, this may go down as the most difficult and epic archetype meditation of my life. … I “became aware” that I was to do the next step of the archetype meditation on the knight of wands. Not having finished this has left me open to the effects of that energy activated and not dealt with and it’s been kicking my ass bigtime for two months. I figured well why not, and agreed, and before I could even ask for the next step, a woman appeared. … She looked sort of ok on the outside. There was something wrong but I couldn’t see what. She had longish straight dark hair, and after considering her for a bit, I felt that there was a sense of a grevious wound like from a sword, that wrapped up around her torso and across her neck. Like it was deep and bloody. And yet I couldn’t see anything at all there… so that was just inexplicable. I started talking to her, and I felt so very affectionate about her for some reason. I felt like she was a woman and yet, like a a vulnerable child who was holding something inside, like a secret, as if held for someone else, paying a price for something every day. I laid her on a table and brought in an imagined technology that would make her completely translucent to me so I could ‘see inside her’. I didn’t know what to make of it. She was absolutely stuffed FULL of… stuff. The kind of stuff that looks like a metal junkyard, a local trash heap, someone’s storage bin, everything you can imagine, random pieces of metal and weird and yucky stuff, actual objects, things in pieces, things rolled up like for packing, everything stuffed together tightly, and some impossible quantity of it stuffed into her body.
Posted by Palyne on 2008.11.23 The last two days have been very odd for me. My dreams have had a depth that is pretty rare and I haven’t seen regularly in many years. And this morning when I woke up, I felt that my ‘awareness’ was ‘still at depth’. I felt tranced but not in the normal dull-fuzzy way, rather just in the most-my-brain-is-deeper way. I was so intensely sleepy, the sort of feeling I used to get when my body/soul/whatever was insisting I sleep immediately to work something out, that a couple hours after I woke up this morning, I went back to sleep!
My kid woke me up later, astounded I was sleeping so late. (That’s really something, coming from her, haha.) So I got up and made her food and did a few things online and then knew that I had to go back to sleep yet again. No matter how illogical it seemed, my body was insisting. So I went back to sleep for several hours.
I dreamed so deeply. What seemed like hundreds of dreams. Some were surface dreams but they involved events and people that haven’t been in my life in 20-25 years. Most were deep dreams and one of the oddest factors was the awareness factor of a third element that was neither me nor dream.
Dreams would be stopped at some point and someone would ask me, are you aware you’re dreaming? or they would point out to me some element of the dream situation
Posted by Palyne on 2008.11.10
The first, which I didn’t start on before I passed out that time, seemed sort of normal in front except a monkey-like face, but the back was completely burned out, hollowed out, the whole back of the body. … The meditation was very difficult although not complex. I got him onto a gurney and flipped him over and filled all the hollowed-out of him with “the water of life”. I asked for the Angelics and they came and each put a hand on my back on a shoulder blade. Then I ‘got the attention’ of the front of him that was still fleshed out and asked it to become flexible and to start replicating cells, to rebuild him from the front, gradually adding flesh on the inside where the little lakes were.
Posted by Palyne on 2008.09.26 This is an experience I had near the end of 1993 I believe. Although I’ve written it down to others a few times, it’s not in my formal archives and I have no idea where to find it, so I thought I would record it again for posterity. I remembered it after reading the latest post on the Cobalt Sigil blog.
I was definitely in a trance state, but not deeply; I was resting, having finished email, and was considering what to do about dinner, as I gazed mindlessly out my back sliding glass door. It was still very light outside though evening was approaching fast, and I was feeling a bit languid and didn’t much feel like getting up and doing anything.
It took me a little while to realize that something had just happened. Often this kind of thing actually goes on for a bit before my conscious mind clues in and decides to pay attention. I had just “shared” the experience of an entity.
——————-
He had traveled far to make the request. Journeyed among many lands and strange creatures to get to the place where you could make a petition to the Gods. Maybe if you were lucky, the Gods might hear you; there was no other choice, now.
He carried the sword the King had given him personally, and he felt heavy with the responsibility. He carried the weight of worry in his heart, and the fate of
Read the full article at Captain of the Guard
http://www.palyne.com/blog.psiche/captain-of-the-guard/
Posted by Palyne on 2008.09.25 I would subtitle this “IG Points Out the Obvious”.
This morning me and my best friend were having a discussion about viewing — which we do regularly of course. I don’t even remember all the talk, but I remember what I was thinking about afterward. Mostly, it came down to this:
Why? When we get the totally wrong target, why? When we clearly perceive specific data, and it turns out to be wrong, why?
I don’t care about data you screw up on your own, which is the majority of problem data frankly. I don’t care about poor contact or process issues. All of those are visible at feedback, and you can learn from feedback, and that is a sport-skill. No, I am talking about when a viewer has good contact, has a clear experience, and yet that is not about the target intended. In that instance feedback is useless, is more harm than help to likely psi experience, and we don’t learn anything except not to trust ourselves.
Everybody has this in RV; nobody is exempt. Everybody seems to accept that’s the way it is. Even in the professional lab, viewers will include ‘getting the correct target to start with’ as a separate statistic; one may say, “I’m on target about 68% of the time, but when I am, about 92% of my data is accurate.” Everybody accepts that some portion of the time, a viewer
Posted by Palyne on 2008.09.25 Prior to this article, it’s best to read the previous Aspect RV post.
So as ‘Aspect RV’ settled into my psyche over time (or my psiche, as I call it, since psi is heavily involved here too), I began to realize that not only could I interact with ‘myself’ during viewing, but that the target itself seemed to interact with me.
At first I didn’t know what was going on. I would start a session and get a flash of something bizarre, like: I’m in a tiny dark stone room and there is a big sarcophagus and brilliant gold light is shining out of it but I tune in just at the INSTANT a huge heavy stone lid is slamming down and shutting out the light. WTF?? I knew it wasn’t part of the target, and I suspected it was information about the session or my contact (so… that wouldn’t be a good sign, in this case…) Or I’d be in the middle of a session and I’d see a person, like an ‘Aspect’ — but they would run in a room and slam the door. WTF?? This began happening more often as time went on. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know why it was happening. In the Official Doctrine of Methods, the data does not act out and talk to you. It’s considered “inert information” that you “passively wait for”. Yet my data was not remotely inert, and it seemed to
Posted by Palyne on 2008.09.25 Back around early Fall of 1998 — holy cow! Ten years ago exactly! — when I was still very ignorant about RV (that is to say, I was a walking encyclopedia about what the experts selling training in the field taught, which is nothing like my models and understanding of things now…) I had a rather unusual experience.
I was in the middle of an RV session when I momentarily ‘spaced out’ and then suddenly realized that I could hear/feel a whole big group of people talking, arguing together — inside me. They were all me. All part of me.
This came as other “spontaneous psi” tends to come to me — a certain category of it, anyway — where I realize that I am seeing or hearing something but (a) somewhat after it’s already been going on, and (b) it is not really coming through my eyes/ears though I interpret it that way, and (c) although I call it ‘seeing’ or ‘hearing’ there is actually a lot of other kinds of information coming through, a more wholistic ‘understanding’, than the physical sense would have. Much like in a dream, I may know past, future, relationships, situations, ‘potentials’, and more, related to what I’m perceiving.
In pure astonishment, I observed this group. It was a large group of people, all separate identities, and yet I understood that they were all “part of what makes up the energy I think of as me”. They were having a
Posted by Palyne on 2008.09.20
Then I went through my inner space and asked for literally everybody one at a time, a group at a time. And IG added every planet in our solar system to the archetype mix (as well as moon) to help me. And eventually when I had nearly everybody I could think of, sans a few religious entities I didn’t ask, I imagined that I was in the middle of the archetype working area and I started to imagine that I was centered and that they would all be around or behind me. But the minute I was done and imagined myself centered, this unbelievable RUSH hit me, and I gasped out loud and my eyes flew open, and just as I was getting over that another wave of rush hit me, every hair on my body standing up and the buzzing all through me, then several more smaller but still fairly intense waves crashing into me one right after the other, and I could feel clearly that all of those energies were joining me, merging WITH me, all at once, though staggered in waves. When done I just sat blinking for a minute. I hadn’t expected that. I asked the man of the archetype if we could have fewer representatives. He vanished himself and all the beds vanished and then before me, four people appeared. Each one seemed to be significantly odd in some way, as if it were the summary of a certain kind of energy.
Posted by Palyne on 2008.09.19
Me: Oh my god. That one is dead. Him: No, not dead. None of them are dead. I looked back at the bed with a dawning idea. “How long have they been in that condition?” I whispered, starting to feel some degree of horror. “Time is perceptual,” he said, and I understood he meant, not real and not relevant to this question, but I also understood that these are old… generally these are not energies from any time near the present in my life.
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Reality = Physiology = Psychology = Spirituality = Cosmology = Geometry = Number = Sound = Form There is no difference.  Posts  Comments Identity is an arbitrary collection of consciousness assigned a title. My work is not just study; it's prayer, it's mental techniques, it's life habits. It's not just about inner worlds; discipline and physical environment matter. It's not just spiritual; my body and world is part of it. It's not just esoteric; everything corresponds integrally — the mundane, the arcane, the divine. It's not just an '-ology'; my own identity, body, reality, psyche is key to it all. The only tenets of truth I hold are based on personal experience.This effort has spanned my life, but not until ~1994 did it become intentional, not 'til late '00s did it become fairly 'serious'. I've gone through many models and philosophies over time, but now I've none except what experience teach me. I am ever the student, but I've reached a point of "fluency" and "internal guidance" where I don't care about labels or other peoples' paradigms.
CATEGORIES on this blog are extensive and nested. Most everything that matters or repeats much has a category.
The TAGS are just minor notes of reference trivia. They are usually a rare experience, or an observation about something I read.
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